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Author Topic: Humour----goodness knows we need it  (Read 6215 times)
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The LEGENDARY OSD
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« Reply #25 on: August 08, 2016, 08:36:53 AM »

The guy who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. The guy who's left side was cut off is alright now. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid but he says he can stop anytime.  Roll Eyes
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myKe luHv, the most hated, embarrassing clown the world of music has ever witnessed.
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« Reply #26 on: August 08, 2016, 10:43:02 AM »

Courtesy of reddit...

The human soul weighs 1.2lbs...

I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into work.

 LOL


I didn't get that joke at all. Seeing you laugh just now, john, after 5 days, you didn't either. undercover-m's attempt at joking failed. Ha! That or you're slowpoke.

I'm slowpoke. I'm sorry. Sometimes it takes me weeks to get a joke and, in some cases, years.   

RR A1, at least John K is sincere, not "laughing" until he thought about it a little. Some people laugh even if they don't understand or don't even think it's funny...

Pun (which perhaps should be in the Condiments thread), as per Richard Lederer:
Charlemagne mustered his Franks and set out to assault and pepper his enemies, but he couldn't ketchup.

Or the old standby: Buddhist to hot dog vendor: Make me one with everything.
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"Someone...handed me a Leadbelly record with the song "Cottonfields" on it. And that record changed my life right then and there. Transported me into a world I'd never known." - Bob Dylan, Nobel Prize Speech.
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« Reply #27 on: August 08, 2016, 12:33:23 PM »

Courtesy of reddit...

The human soul weighs 1.2lbs...

I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into work.

 LOL


I didn't get that joke at all. Seeing you laugh just now, john, after 5 days, you didn't either. undercover-m's attempt at joking failed. Ha! That or you're slowpoke.

I'm slowpoke. I'm sorry. Sometimes it takes me weeks to get a joke and, in some cases, years.   

RR A1, at least John K is sincere, not "laughing" until he thought about it a little. Some people laugh even if they don't understand or don't even think it's funny...

Pun (which perhaps should be in the Condiments thread), as per Richard Lederer:
Charlemagne mustered his Franks and set out to assault and pepper his enemies, but he couldn't ketchup.

Or the old standby: Buddhist to hot dog vendor: Make me one with everything.

Thank you, Elizabeth. (NOLA BBF is such a mouthful.) That old standby is top-notch!  LOL

And OSD's jokes are pretty cool too. :=)
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The LEGENDARY OSD
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« Reply #28 on: August 08, 2016, 06:16:47 PM »

Pick up lines that don't work:

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Why don't we go behind a rock and get a little boulder?

If this were a meat market, you'd be prime rib.

 Shocked
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« Reply #29 on: August 08, 2016, 07:20:25 PM »

No-la-Bee-Bee-ef - 5 syllables. E-li-za-beth - 4. Not much difference. Tongue

Sometimes it takes me weeks to get a joke and, in some cases, years.   
Yep, me as well. police But in this case the joke was epic fail. I don't see what's the fuss about reddit.
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« Reply #30 on: August 09, 2016, 12:42:29 AM »

Courtesy of reddit...

The human soul weighs 1.2lbs...

I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into work.

 LOL
I didn't get that joke at all. Seeing you laugh just now, john, after 5 days, you didn't either. undercover-m's attempt at joking failed. Ha! That or you're slowpoke.

pfffft i'm hilarious.
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« Reply #31 on: August 09, 2016, 04:16:18 AM »

No-la-Bee-Bee-ef - 5 syllables. E-li-za-beth - 4. Not much difference. Tongue

RR A1 you are hilarious! 😀

I prefer going by my name, or Liz, or Em (for Auntie Em, which my nieces/nephews call me)

"RR A1" - curious what your name is or what you'd like to be called?
Natasha, perhaps?
Or good old Olga?
Don't know any Russian female race car drivers, but as you seem to be the adventurous sort - how about Valentina (after the first woman Cosmonaut)?

Regards,
Elizabeth ("Nolabeebeef")
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"No White Flags." - Team Gleason

"Someone...handed me a Leadbelly record with the song "Cottonfields" on it. And that record changed my life right then and there. Transported me into a world I'd never known." - Bob Dylan, Nobel Prize Speech.
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« Reply #32 on: August 09, 2016, 04:57:47 AM »

Pick up lines that don't work:

If this were a meat market, you'd be prime rib.


This one's so Over the Top that it might actually work!   Grin
(At least he said prime rib and not rump roast haha)
« Last Edit: August 09, 2016, 05:01:46 AM by NOLA BB Fan » Logged

"No White Flags." - Team Gleason

"Someone...handed me a Leadbelly record with the song "Cottonfields" on it. And that record changed my life right then and there. Transported me into a world I'd never known." - Bob Dylan, Nobel Prize Speech.
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GREAT post, Rab!


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« Reply #33 on: August 09, 2016, 05:35:06 AM »

Talking of Swedish, old Shere Khan's "coda" to thiis Disney song has always cracked me up, even more so here, where his (Shere's a he, right?) bass voice is even deeper than in the original version:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jjfV4K1vgk

LOL

Yes, Shere Khan's a he----and never more so than here, hahaha.
I guess so, though I'd bet that she-tigers can hit some pretty deep notes, too. Smiley
« Last Edit: August 09, 2016, 06:13:40 AM by thorgil » Logged

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« Reply #34 on: August 09, 2016, 05:44:17 AM »

Or good old Olga?

By sheer coincidence, Olga made an appearance in a recent palindrome of mine (see that topic)...
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« Reply #35 on: August 09, 2016, 08:27:20 AM »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPcLJo_7nnE#t=21
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« Reply #36 on: August 09, 2016, 11:53:58 PM »

2Nola BB Fan: well name is boring, it's Marianna (Mahree-ahna. anglicised "Marianne"). Shortly "Mari" (like Mary but with stress in last syllable). I like the shortie. Regarding "Nolabeebeef", john said it's mouthful to call you by username than real & I showed that they're about the same. "Em" isn't Emily & Emma? Is it "Elizabeth" too?
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Smiley Chaps & Chapettes! With Happy Christmas...Soon!

At Christmas dinner, turkey will roll around & fly away. Host & guests will try to catch it to eat it but turkey will attack people instead. & get the whole house. What to do to prevent it - DON'T BUY TURKEY. (Christmas Wisdom No. 0)
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« Reply #37 on: August 10, 2016, 02:31:10 AM »

Wow, your name isn't "boring" but beautiful!
About "Em", it's after Auntie Em, Dorothy's aunt in The Wizard of Oz. it's just something my oldest niece started calling me as it was easier than "Aunt Elizabeth", then the rest started calling me that as well.
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"No White Flags." - Team Gleason

"Someone...handed me a Leadbelly record with the song "Cottonfields" on it. And that record changed my life right then and there. Transported me into a world I'd never known." - Bob Dylan, Nobel Prize Speech.
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« Reply #38 on: August 10, 2016, 03:18:28 AM »

Regarding "Nolabeebeef", john said it's mouthful to call you by username than real & I showed that they're about the same.

Makes me think of OSD's prime rib, hahaha.

I remember feelsflow once called you Mari...
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« Reply #39 on: August 12, 2016, 08:15:21 AM »

I was so bright, my daddy called me Son.
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« Reply #40 on: August 12, 2016, 05:24:13 PM »

In all the craziness down here, the following obituary appeared in our newspaper today. The copy was written by his children who said in an article about this that their Dad was a practical joker. Mention is made of a person named "Bob;" the children made up that name and hoped that there wasn't actually a person named Bob who their Father worked with.
Some of you might have already seen this as it made the rounds on Facebook.

]]http://obits.nola.com/obituaries/nola/obituary.aspx?n=william-ziegler&pid=181033700http://
« Last Edit: August 12, 2016, 05:52:41 PM by NOLA BB Fan » Logged

"No White Flags." - Team Gleason

"Someone...handed me a Leadbelly record with the song "Cottonfields" on it. And that record changed my life right then and there. Transported me into a world I'd never known." - Bob Dylan, Nobel Prize Speech.
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« Reply #41 on: August 13, 2016, 02:17:07 AM »

In all the craziness down here, the following obituary appeared in our newspaper today. The copy was written by his children who said in an article about this that their Dad was a practical joker. Mention is made of a person named "Bob;" the children made up that name and hoped that there wasn't actually a person named Bob who their Father worked with.
Some of you might have already seen this as it made the rounds on Facebook.

]]http://obits.nola.com/obituaries/nola/obituary.aspx?n=william-ziegler&pid=181033700http://

Sheer class! And maybe a lesson for others. What a wonderful farewell.
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« Reply #42 on: October 04, 2016, 12:14:50 PM »

This is how they do things in Belgium:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecRJJJC_2ec
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« Reply #43 on: October 04, 2016, 02:01:36 PM »

Oh my.
Reminds me of Le Petomane who could "toot" songs at will. And like him, the pig's toots were evidently odorless (or the chickens don't have a good sense of smell)
But a pig taking a bubble bath? I never!
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"No White Flags." - Team Gleason

"Someone...handed me a Leadbelly record with the song "Cottonfields" on it. And that record changed my life right then and there. Transported me into a world I'd never known." - Bob Dylan, Nobel Prize Speech.
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« Reply #44 on: October 04, 2016, 02:06:28 PM »

What kind of cream does Bruce Johnston put on desserts?

Pistol Whipped
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« Reply #45 on: October 04, 2016, 02:45:45 PM »

One of the SSers has been in discussion about some things and Art Carney came up.

This is my favorite Carney moment. It's in an episode where Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason) has to find out quickly how to play golf.
They were wondering what it meant to "address the ball." Well, here's one possible answer.  Grin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnx4vFQWO-I
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"Someone...handed me a Leadbelly record with the song "Cottonfields" on it. And that record changed my life right then and there. Transported me into a world I'd never known." - Bob Dylan, Nobel Prize Speech.
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« Reply #46 on: October 04, 2016, 03:05:34 PM »

This is how they do things in Belgium:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecRJJJC_2ec

Oh my #2.  No other comment comes to mind. Brian's Trip
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« Reply #47 on: October 04, 2016, 03:10:59 PM »

One of the SSers has been in discussion about some things and Art Carney came up.

This is my favorite Carney moment. It's in an episode where Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason) has to find out quickly how to play golf.
They were wondering what it meant to "address the ball." Well, here's one possible answer.  Grin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnx4vFQWO-I

I'm at work right now but I need to check that when I get home!
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« Reply #48 on: November 08, 2016, 05:03:43 PM »

wanting a little humor tonight, I remembered an episode on I Love Lucy where Ethel Mertz sang a song near and dear to BW fans.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gczVBgAXhI
« Last Edit: November 08, 2016, 05:09:03 PM by NOLA BB Fan » Logged

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"Someone...handed me a Leadbelly record with the song "Cottonfields" on it. And that record changed my life right then and there. Transported me into a world I'd never known." - Bob Dylan, Nobel Prize Speech.
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« Reply #49 on: May 04, 2017, 02:42:33 AM »

Some very British humour now from Kenneth Williams:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGRa_ZoOX24
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