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Non Smiley Smile Stuff => The Sandbox => Topic started by: JK on June 26, 2016, 04:44:12 AM



Title: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on June 26, 2016, 04:44:12 AM
(http://www.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/717158134_5b703bcf4d_b.jpg)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: rasmus skotte on June 27, 2016, 12:22:41 AM
"Palindromes unite God's EX'es"!! ... S o what to do without 'em - join the P/AL-ANON ?


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on June 27, 2016, 02:44:21 AM
(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-K2NzX3U5QRw/UWFtEmYvcNI/AAAAAAAAAFk/mK7jVvnd1fw/s640/blogger-image-1208080926.jpg)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: rasmus skotte on June 27, 2016, 03:55:59 AM
But please help me, Dr. Hedgeh-og. I believe the clinical term for my condition is 'post-poste-palinSYNdrome' !(?)...


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on June 28, 2016, 02:06:56 AM
(http://stupidest.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/not-a-number.jpg)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: NOLA BB Fan on June 28, 2016, 06:20:06 AM
LOL. Thanks for the day brighteners!   :-D


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on July 20, 2016, 06:43:06 AM
(http://www.funnysigns.net/files/pu-pu-hot-pot.jpg)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: The LEGENDARY OSD on July 20, 2016, 07:58:06 AM
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.  ;)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on July 20, 2016, 08:20:50 AM
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.  ;)

:lol


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: bringahorseinhere? on July 20, 2016, 08:54:05 AM
this is great stuff! anybody got anymore? love this stuff.


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on July 20, 2016, 09:38:35 AM
More toilet humour, I'm afraid:

(http://lh5.ggpht.com/abramsv/SA0cNkkZsXI/AAAAAAAAO6s/pwyIr6m32-E/s1600/toiletsignsitdown.jpg)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: The LEGENDARY OSD on July 20, 2016, 08:22:06 PM
Lady who goes camping with man must beware of evil intent.  :smokin


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on July 21, 2016, 03:57:00 AM
(http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/20-greatest-sports-signs-7.jpg)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: SMiLE Brian on July 21, 2016, 08:36:01 AM
Lady who goes camping with man must beware of evil intent.  :smokin
OSD!!!! :lol :lol :lol


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on July 30, 2016, 01:38:13 AM
(http://gwydir.demon.co.uk/diaries/images/heath1.gif)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: The LEGENDARY OSD on July 30, 2016, 07:49:46 AM
Guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and asks the bartender to get him a drink and one for the road. Another guy walks in to the same bar with jumper cables and the bartender says "you can stay, but don't try to start anything".


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: filledeplage on July 30, 2016, 10:20:08 AM
Guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and asks the bartender to get him a drink and one for the road. Another guy walks in to the same bar with jumper cables and the bartender says "you can stay, but don't try to start anything".

 :lol


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: The LEGENDARY OSD on July 30, 2016, 10:44:07 AM
Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?". Ok, I'll stop-for now.


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on July 31, 2016, 05:25:04 AM
Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?". Ok, I'll stop-for now.

Nice work, OSD! Even though I had to look up jumper cables... ;D 

And now for a couple of musical funnies:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPedwnc5e_s#t=21

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6lWTpOH3q8


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: undercover-m on August 03, 2016, 09:34:30 AM
Courtesy of reddit... (https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/4h41lk/the_human_soul_weighs_12lbs/)

The human soul weighs 1.2lbs...

I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into work.


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on August 08, 2016, 01:52:18 AM
Courtesy of reddit... (https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/4h41lk/the_human_soul_weighs_12lbs/)

The human soul weighs 1.2lbs...

I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into work.

 :lol

And now... the Swedish Elvis!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MiJTxlEdtQ


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: thorgil on August 08, 2016, 04:54:02 AM
Talking of Swedish, old Shere Khan's "coda" to thiis Disney song has always cracked me up, even more so here, where his (Shere's a he, right?) bass voice is even deeper than in the original version:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jjfV4K1vgk


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: RangeRoverA1 on August 08, 2016, 04:57:25 AM
Courtesy of reddit... (https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/4h41lk/the_human_soul_weighs_12lbs/)

The human soul weighs 1.2lbs...

I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into work.

 :lol
I didn't get that joke at all. Seeing you laugh just now, john, after 5 days, you didn't either. undercover-m's attempt at joking failed. Ha! That or you're slowpoke.


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on August 08, 2016, 05:02:04 AM
Talking of Swedish, old Shere Khan's "coda" to thiis Disney song has always cracked me up, even more so here, where his (Shere's a he, right?) bass voice is even deeper than in the original version:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jjfV4K1vgk

:lol

Yes, Shere Khan's a he----and never more so than here, hahaha.


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on August 08, 2016, 07:55:46 AM
Courtesy of reddit... (https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/4h41lk/the_human_soul_weighs_12lbs/)

The human soul weighs 1.2lbs...

I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into work.

 :lol
I didn't get that joke at all. Seeing you laugh just now, john, after 5 days, you didn't either. undercover-m's attempt at joking failed. Ha! That or you're slowpoke.

I'm slowpoke. I'm sorry. Sometimes it takes me weeks to get a joke and, in some cases, years.   


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: The LEGENDARY OSD on August 08, 2016, 08:36:53 AM
The guy who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. The guy who's left side was cut off is alright now. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid but he says he can stop anytime.  ::)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: NOLA BB Fan on August 08, 2016, 10:43:02 AM
Courtesy of reddit... (https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/4h41lk/the_human_soul_weighs_12lbs/)

The human soul weighs 1.2lbs...

I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into work.

 :lol


I didn't get that joke at all. Seeing you laugh just now, john, after 5 days, you didn't either. undercover-m's attempt at joking failed. Ha! That or you're slowpoke.

I'm slowpoke. I'm sorry. Sometimes it takes me weeks to get a joke and, in some cases, years.   

RR A1, at least John K is sincere, not "laughing" until he thought about it a little. Some people laugh even if they don't understand or don't even think it's funny...

Pun (which perhaps should be in the Condiments thread), as per Richard Lederer:
Charlemagne mustered his Franks and set out to assault and pepper his enemies, but he couldn't ketchup.

Or the old standby: Buddhist to hot dog vendor: Make me one with everything.


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on August 08, 2016, 12:33:23 PM
Courtesy of reddit... (https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/4h41lk/the_human_soul_weighs_12lbs/)

The human soul weighs 1.2lbs...

I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into work.

 :lol


I didn't get that joke at all. Seeing you laugh just now, john, after 5 days, you didn't either. undercover-m's attempt at joking failed. Ha! That or you're slowpoke.

I'm slowpoke. I'm sorry. Sometimes it takes me weeks to get a joke and, in some cases, years.   

RR A1, at least John K is sincere, not "laughing" until he thought about it a little. Some people laugh even if they don't understand or don't even think it's funny...

Pun (which perhaps should be in the Condiments thread), as per Richard Lederer:
Charlemagne mustered his Franks and set out to assault and pepper his enemies, but he couldn't ketchup.

Or the old standby: Buddhist to hot dog vendor: Make me one with everything.

Thank you, Elizabeth. (NOLA BBF is such a mouthful.) That old standby is top-notch!  :lol

And OSD's jokes are pretty cool too. :=)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: The LEGENDARY OSD on August 08, 2016, 06:16:47 PM
Pick up lines that don't work:

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Why don't we go behind a rock and get a little boulder?

If this were a meat market, you'd be prime rib.

 :o


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: RangeRoverA1 on August 08, 2016, 07:20:25 PM
No-la-Bee-Bee-ef - 5 syllables. E-li-za-beth - 4. Not much difference. :P

Sometimes it takes me weeks to get a joke and, in some cases, years.   
Yep, me as well. :police: But in this case the joke was epic fail. I don't see what's the fuss about reddit.


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: undercover-m on August 09, 2016, 12:42:29 AM
Courtesy of reddit... (https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/4h41lk/the_human_soul_weighs_12lbs/)

The human soul weighs 1.2lbs...

I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into work.

 :lol
I didn't get that joke at all. Seeing you laugh just now, john, after 5 days, you didn't either. undercover-m's attempt at joking failed. Ha! That or you're slowpoke.

pfffft i'm hilarious.


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: NOLA BB Fan on August 09, 2016, 04:16:18 AM
No-la-Bee-Bee-ef - 5 syllables. E-li-za-beth - 4. Not much difference. :P

RR A1 you are hilarious! 😀

I prefer going by my name, or Liz, or Em (for Auntie Em, which my nieces/nephews call me)

"RR A1" - curious what your name is or what you'd like to be called?
Natasha, perhaps?
Or good old Olga?
Don't know any Russian female race car drivers, but as you seem to be the adventurous sort - how about Valentina (after the first woman Cosmonaut)?

Regards,
Elizabeth ("Nolabeebeef")


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: NOLA BB Fan on August 09, 2016, 04:57:47 AM
Pick up lines that don't work:

If this were a meat market, you'd be prime rib.


This one's so Over the Top that it might actually work!   ;D
(At least he said prime rib and not rump roast haha)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: thorgil on August 09, 2016, 05:35:06 AM
Talking of Swedish, old Shere Khan's "coda" to thiis Disney song has always cracked me up, even more so here, where his (Shere's a he, right?) bass voice is even deeper than in the original version:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jjfV4K1vgk

:lol

Yes, Shere Khan's a he----and never more so than here, hahaha.
I guess so, though I'd bet that she-tigers can hit some pretty deep notes, too. :)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on August 09, 2016, 05:44:17 AM
Or good old Olga?

By sheer coincidence, Olga made an appearance in a recent palindrome of mine (see that topic)...


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on August 09, 2016, 08:27:20 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPcLJo_7nnE#t=21


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: RangeRoverA1 on August 09, 2016, 11:53:58 PM
2Nola BB Fan: well name is boring, it's Marianna (Mahree-ahna. anglicised "Marianne"). Shortly "Mari" (like Mary but with stress in last syllable). I like the shortie. Regarding "Nolabeebeef", john said it's mouthful to call you by username than real & I showed that they're about the same. "Em" isn't Emily & Emma? Is it "Elizabeth" too?


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: NOLA BB Fan on August 10, 2016, 02:31:10 AM
Wow, your name isn't "boring" but beautiful!
About "Em", it's after Auntie Em, Dorothy's aunt in The Wizard of Oz. it's just something my oldest niece started calling me as it was easier than "Aunt Elizabeth", then the rest started calling me that as well.


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on August 10, 2016, 03:18:28 AM
Regarding "Nolabeebeef", john said it's mouthful to call you by username than real & I showed that they're about the same.

Makes me think of OSD's prime rib, hahaha.

I remember feelsflow once called you Mari...


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: bringahorseinhere? on August 12, 2016, 08:15:21 AM
I was so bright, my daddy called me Son.


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: NOLA BB Fan on August 12, 2016, 05:24:13 PM
In all the craziness down here, the following obituary appeared in our newspaper today. The copy was written by his children who said in an article about this that their Dad was a practical joker. Mention is made of a person named "Bob;" the children made up that name and hoped that there wasn't actually a person named Bob who their Father worked with.
Some of you might have already seen this as it made the rounds on Facebook.

]] (http://)http://obits.nola.com/obituaries/nola/obituary.aspx?n=william-ziegler&pid=181033700http://


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on August 13, 2016, 02:17:07 AM
In all the craziness down here, the following obituary appeared in our newspaper today. The copy was written by his children who said in an article about this that their Dad was a practical joker. Mention is made of a person named "Bob;" the children made up that name and hoped that there wasn't actually a person named Bob who their Father worked with.
Some of you might have already seen this as it made the rounds on Facebook.

]] (http://)http://obits.nola.com/obituaries/nola/obituary.aspx?n=william-ziegler&pid=181033700http://

Sheer class! And maybe a lesson for others. What a wonderful farewell.


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on October 04, 2016, 12:14:50 PM
This is how they do things in Belgium:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecRJJJC_2ec


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: NOLA BB Fan on October 04, 2016, 02:01:36 PM
Oh my.
Reminds me of Le Petomane who could "toot" songs at will. And like him, the pig's toots were evidently odorless (or the chickens don't have a good sense of smell)
But a pig taking a bubble bath? I never!


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: ♩♬🐸 Billy C ♯♫♩🐇 on October 04, 2016, 02:06:28 PM
What kind of cream does Bruce Johnston put on desserts?

Pistol Whipped


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: NOLA BB Fan on October 04, 2016, 02:45:45 PM
One of the SSers has been in discussion about some things and Art Carney came up.

This is my favorite Carney moment. It's in an episode where Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason) has to find out quickly how to play golf.
They were wondering what it meant to "address the ball." Well, here's one possible answer.  ;D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnx4vFQWO-I (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnx4vFQWO-I)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: feelsflow on October 04, 2016, 03:05:34 PM
This is how they do things in Belgium:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecRJJJC_2ec

Oh my #2.  No other comment comes to mind. :brian


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: ♩♬🐸 Billy C ♯♫♩🐇 on October 04, 2016, 03:10:59 PM
One of the SSers has been in discussion about some things and Art Carney came up.

This is my favorite Carney moment. It's in an episode where Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason) has to find out quickly how to play golf.
They were wondering what it meant to "address the ball." Well, here's one possible answer.  ;D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnx4vFQWO-I (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnx4vFQWO-I)

I'm at work right now but I need to check that when I get home!


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: NOLA BB Fan on November 08, 2016, 05:03:43 PM
wanting a little humor tonight, I remembered an episode on I Love Lucy where Ethel Mertz sang a song near and dear to BW fans.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gczVBgAXhI


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on May 04, 2017, 02:42:33 AM
Some very British humour now from Kenneth Williams:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGRa_ZoOX24


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: NOLA BB Fan on May 04, 2017, 06:48:34 AM
Oh my, that was funny!  :lol


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: The LEGENDARY OSD on May 04, 2017, 07:42:30 AM


Let's see who comes up with the correct answer.

Why were the eggs laughing?

I'll totally understand that I will be tarred and feathered when this is completed.  :-[


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on May 04, 2017, 07:57:48 AM
Why were the eggs laughing?

Because they were pickled?
Because they knew the chickens didn't come first?

I've really no idea.


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: The LEGENDARY OSD on May 04, 2017, 02:08:35 PM
Why were the eggs laughing?

Because they were pickled?
Because they knew the chickens didn't come first?

I've really no idea.

BECAUSE... THEY WERE ALL CRACKED UP.  ;D


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on May 05, 2017, 02:59:23 AM
Why were the eggs laughing?

I'll totally understand that I will be tarred and feathered when this is completed.

BECAUSE... THEY WERE ALL CRACKED UP.  ;D

H'mm. I think tarring and feathering would be a very light punishment. :lol

I won't return the favour with an egg joke of my own in case I'm accused of poaching on your territory. :smokin


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: The LEGENDARY OSD on May 05, 2017, 06:43:56 AM
Why were the eggs laughing?

I'll totally understand that I will be tarred and feathered when this is completed.

BECAUSE... THEY WERE ALL CRACKED UP.  ;D

H'mm. I think tarring and feathering would be a very light punishment. :lol

I won't return the favour with an egg joke of my own in case I'm accused of poaching on your territory. :smokin

Thanks, that would be eggscellent.  ;)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on May 05, 2017, 06:52:31 AM
Why were the eggs laughing?

I'll totally understand that I will be tarred and feathered when this is completed.

BECAUSE... THEY WERE ALL CRACKED UP.  ;D

H'mm. I think tarring and feathering would be a very light punishment. :lol

I won't return the favour with an egg joke of my own in case I'm accused of poaching on your territory. :smokin

Thanks, that would be eggscellent.  ;)

Eggsactly. ;D


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: The LEGENDARY OSD on May 05, 2017, 07:27:20 AM
Why were the eggs laughing?

I'll totally understand that I will be tarred and feathered when this is completed.

BECAUSE... THEY WERE ALL CRACKED UP.  ;D

H'mm. I think tarring and feathering would be a very light punishment. :lol

I won't return the favour with an egg joke of my own in case I'm accused of poaching on your territory. :smokin

Thanks, that would be eggscellent.  ;)

Eggsactly. ;D

With that said, I'm going to eggsit stage left.  :smokin


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: SMiLE Brian on May 05, 2017, 09:34:25 AM
OSD! :lol


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on May 08, 2017, 07:37:46 AM
My apologies if I've posted this already!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChK_kp-P9I0


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on May 13, 2017, 12:48:46 PM
As that Rambling Syd Rumpo song went down so well, here's the B-side, called "Green Grow My Nadgers Oh". You can sing along if you wish:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJj3JeZVirw

   


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on August 30, 2017, 06:56:13 AM
This made me laugh----perhaps it shouldn't. The name of the product for a start...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaSEaIpi89c


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on September 05, 2017, 10:10:52 AM
From an incredibly funny film I watched for the second (or third) time a few days ago. The heroes, laid-off Sheffield steel workers who hope to earn a tidy amount with a one-off public strip show, hear one of their act's songs while down the unemployment exchange to collect their dole money:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4wuH9pSSRo 


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: thorgil on September 06, 2017, 10:15:19 AM
I confess that I like Chuck Norris jokes. This is my fav one because I find it strangely poetic:
"If the Tooth Fairy loses a tooth, she puts it under her pillow and waits for Chuck Norris to come."


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on September 26, 2017, 03:04:53 AM
Surrealist painter Yves Tanguy pulls faces for our amusement (and anticipates punk by half a century):

(http://c300221.r21.cf1.rackcdn.com/yves-tanguy1900-1955-1348320685_b.jpeg)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: KDS on September 26, 2017, 05:42:26 AM
I confess that I like Chuck Norris jokes. This is my fav one because I find it strangely poetic:
"If the Tooth Fairy loses a tooth, she puts it under her pillow and waits for Chuck Norris to come."

My favorite is

At night, the Boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris. 


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: The LEGENDARY OSD on September 26, 2017, 06:58:42 AM
What do you call a French kitchen after a grenade is thrown in it?

Drum roll please...


LINOLEUM BLOWN APART  :P


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on September 26, 2017, 07:05:41 AM
What do you call a French kitchen after a grenade is thrown in it?

Drum roll please...


LINOLEUM BLOWN APART  :P

 :lol :lol :lol

I've just been reading your other jokes in this topic----sheer brilliance!  ;D


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: The LEGENDARY OSD on September 26, 2017, 08:56:58 AM
Thanks, JK! I'm just passing them on as I get 'em. Stay tuned.


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: The LEGENDARY OSD on October 08, 2017, 06:59:51 PM
Two cannibals were dining on a clown. Said one to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: SMiLE Brian on October 08, 2017, 07:09:31 PM
OSD! :lol


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: RangeRoverA1 on October 09, 2017, 03:47:08 PM
Two cannibals were dining on a clown. Said one to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
This is best joke in this entire topic. Clever pun.


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: The LEGENDARY OSD on October 09, 2017, 07:45:59 PM

Thanks, RR.  8)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: rasmus skotte on October 14, 2017, 02:11:55 AM
In my good old rotten, downtrotten state-of-Denmark it will soon be forbidden by law to wear and show off your KNEECAPS i public(?) So NO more socks with "Short Skirts" or pants - streetwise , I guess!
- SORRY! I stand corrected: It is NIQABs which will be banned!?


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: NOLA BB Fan on October 25, 2017, 01:10:16 PM
I saw this post today on a site where the guy complained about crazy airline rules.

I think this is funny = guess that's easy since I haven't flown since 1997.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEyFH-a-XoQ


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on October 25, 2017, 02:29:44 PM
I saw this post today on a site where the guy complained about crazy airline rules.

I think this is funny = guess that's easy since I haven't flown since 1997.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEyFH-a-XoQ
Hahaha. I'm sure Kafka would have approved. ;D


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: RangeRoverA1 on August 26, 2018, 04:39:43 AM
Few humors by BBs board posters:

1. I create surveys in pastime & ask posters to answer. To question "The old chap sitting with you in the restaurant starts choking. Would you quickly stand back & press his tummy to get the food from mouth? What would you do? (Is there even term for it?)",
Watamushi answered:
"Easy one. Just put a vacuum into his mouth and turn it on :-D"

2. hbig's post:
"on this photo of the BBs, Brian neck up=Pez dispenser"
(http://iconicauctions.com/ItemImages/000024/36_27202c_lg.jpeg)

Nobody finds THESE funny? Hello, everybody.

Fave humors by RR, i.e. I:

Who likes what they like? Everybody.
Who doesn't like what they don't like? Everybody.
Who likes what they don't like? Nobody.
Who doesn't like what they like? Nobody.
Few people went. The other people stayed.
The Internet is world wide web.
Web is spider's creation.
Creation is invention's twisted relative.
Relative is fam.
Fam is genes.
Genes is said like jeans.
Jeans is predominantly blue.
Blue is ugly color.
Color is paint.
Paint is diverse.
Therefore, The Internet is diverse.


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: Buckethead on August 26, 2018, 07:07:30 PM
Bravo!


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: ♩♬🐸 Billy C ♯♫♩🐇 on September 26, 2018, 06:27:57 PM
[‎9/‎26/‎2018 8:25 PM] Castillo, William:
Me: "I need you to right-click on the Network and Sharing Center".
Customer: "OK".
Me: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Me: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Me: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?".

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote down 'click'". 


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: B.E. on September 26, 2018, 06:52:05 PM
 :lol


Title: Humor------------------who needs it?
Post by: RangeRoverA1 on November 01, 2018, 06:31:08 AM
Humorless


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: NOLA BB Fan on November 01, 2018, 06:44:26 PM
I like the last two the best. Some of the others I'll have to read over several times to see if I "get" them.

The pizza one is great, very "punny."

 Poor Doris Day. She'll never live down that song. Yeah, it is what it is.


Title: Re: Humour-----------goodness is sure we do not need it
Post by: RangeRoverA1 on November 02, 2018, 05:36:03 AM
Humorless


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on January 27, 2019, 04:36:10 AM
Now you can all learn how to play high note. I don't believe this is meant to be funny but I howled with laughter when I saw it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDNEfoEFm6s


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on February 01, 2019, 03:42:10 AM
Starts eight seconds in:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrdKe5sDVI4


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on February 16, 2019, 05:24:08 AM
"Boys, you may not be aware that there is an object attached to you that looks somewhat like a torch. Next time you're in the bath, look down and you'll see it. If you touch the globe part of that torch it will light up. But as you know, when you turn on a torch the batteries start to run down. And you boys only have very small batteries."

Roald Dahl in a TV documentary recalling a sex talk given by his headmaster at primary school


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on May 06, 2019, 02:06:13 PM
A concerned parent writes to Dear Abby :

“My son says he’s practicing his guitar, but I stand outside his door and I hear this sound like there’s an airplane landing. What should I do?”

Dear Abby replies: “Don’t worry. It’s just a flange he’s going through.” :lol


With thanks to Jeff W. Richman at Hoffman.


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: RangeRoverA1 on July 14, 2019, 06:25:17 AM
Funny clip with Rowan Atkinson interviewing Elton John. It's scripted despite it looking real. Few peeps comment Elton tries to conceal laughters but he really does "increasingly annoyed by pointless questions famous star" well. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Nl0HqlbX7dc

Doesn't he look cool? Super style, esp. beret. I'm berets' fan. :3d


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on July 14, 2019, 02:34:12 PM
Funny clip with Rowan Atkinson interviewing Elton John. It's scripted despite it looking real. Few peeps comment Elton tries to conceal laughters but he really does "increasingly annoyed by pointless questions famous star" well. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Nl0HqlbX7dc

Doesn't he look cool? Super style, esp. beret. I'm berets' fan. :3d

Fan of both Elton and Rowan here. Agreed--I don't see Elton trying not to laugh either. Never seen that clip before. Thanks!


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on July 16, 2019, 09:24:38 AM
(https://scontent-icn1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/66430259_2898996173449512_5089100976594354176_n.jpg?_nc_cat=105&_nc_eui2=AeGuLYKVo0HcbxYd5Szj1Ba3zbDKwOtLTd6rsU9fuzFXhSGFJ-mXpQdTaKi545gmmtywWILhmGpzsQH8ya0yudbksBmR6X5qCafaAdAMT2xDxw&_nc_oc=AQlcajJ3_j57w653rotQywbT93dgqjT3GXCOM6b3QjOh3J87Pq0_r7T4jEeuPPwiwaU&_nc_ht=scontent-icn1-1.xx&oh=1edaacf9d1176001f91888386efce58b&oe=5DA8264F)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on September 04, 2019, 03:40:00 AM
(https://www.funnywebsite.com/funny-website/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/pullout.jpg)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on October 21, 2019, 04:18:25 AM
With thanks to KDS:

(https://i.postimg.cc/9QyyryZF/zarrocomic-blogspotcom-truth-justice-wisdom-kz-bzafcom-man-does.jpg)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on November 01, 2019, 04:47:22 AM
(https://uniim1.shutterfly.com/ng/services/mediarender/THISLIFE/009090462139/media/84742992641/medium/1569621252/enhance)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on December 16, 2019, 06:01:16 AM
This David Shrigley cartoon took a while to sink in but once it did I was laughing about it all day:

(https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0210/4540/products/brainbox_candy_cards246_1024x1024.png?v=1515666650)


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: RangeRoverA1 on December 16, 2019, 10:42:44 AM
Pic doesn't even display. It appears like tiny pink-blue square.


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: JK on April 08, 2020, 01:19:56 PM
I watch this several times a day--seriously! Lee Mack cracks everyone up on The Graham Norton Show:   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmbpagijVkk


Title: Re: Humour----goodness knows we need it
Post by: ♩♬🐸 Billy C ♯♫♩🐇 on May 08, 2020, 07:51:48 PM
If Bea Arthur had married Sting, would she be Bea Sting?

Why does sour cream have an expiration date? Does it turn fresh?

How can a building burn up and burn down at the same time?

What’s the slowest thing in the world? A stoner in a hurry.

If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader, would she be Ella Vader?

Was Robin Hood’s mother known as Mother Hood?

Why did the dead rat cross the road? Cause it was nailed to the chicken!