Worst Beach Boys Lyrics?

[Magic Transistor Radio]

California Calling and That Same Song are my two least favorite BB songs written by the BBs.

[Margarita]

How She Boogalooed It.  No, no, no, no, no.  It's the only thing that keeps Wild Honey from being a perfect album.  It's like the Beach Boys trying to do a song for a romp in a Monkees episode and failing miserably (cuz the Monkees were much better than that).

[runnersdialzero]

C'mon d00dz. As much as we don't like to acknowledge a couple of the later albums, a song from 1967 or 1976 are far down on the list compared to that stuff.

[Pinder's Gone To Kokomo And Back Again]

"I, too would vote for "Hey Little Tomboy" due to its sheer creepiness. But, it could've been much worse if they had included the ad lib part from bootleg versions!"



Are the lyrics to Hey Little Tomboy really that bad or creepy or is it just because the song is written/performed by a bunch of bearded and drugged out old fat guys?

[Pinder's Gone To Kokomo And Back Again]

I mean, if Justin Beiber or the Jonas Brothers did a cover of Hey Little Tomboy would it be creepy or cute??

[drbeachboy]

Are the lyrics to Hey Little Tomboy really that bad or creepy of is it just because the song is written/performed by a bunch of bearded and drugged out old fat guys?

When that song was released Mike was 37 and he was the oldest. Not exactly old in my book. Sensibilities were different back then. Things were less creepy in 1978, just strange.

[Bill Ed]

Bad lyrics in Beach Boys songs? Consider . . .

Jet! I can almost remember their funny faces
That time you told me that
You were going to be marrying soon.
And jet, I thought the only
Lonely place was on the moon.
Jet! jet!
Jet! was your father as bold as a sergeant major?
How come he told you that
You were hardly old enough yet?
And jet, I thought the major
Was a lady suffragette.
Jet! jet!

Ah, matter, want jet to always love me?
Ah, matter, want jet to always love me?
Ah, matter, much later.

Jet! with the wind in your hair of a thousand laces.
Climb on the back and well
Go for a ride in the sky.
And jet, I thought the major
Was a lady suffragette.
Jet! jet!

[Aegir]

I guess it's telling that I also really like Band on the Run...

I don't have a problem with most Beach Boys lyrics. except Belles of Paris and some of the stuff on Summer in Paradise.

[Lookit]

"No-one will steal the eggs from this fortress..."

[The Heartical Don]

If Mars Had Life On It

I Might Find My Wife On It

...by a country mile.

[SMiLE Brian]

If Mars Had Life On It

I Might Find My Wife On It

...by a country mile.

That lyric is goofy, but describes accurately BW's marriage and relationship with Marilyn at the time.

[runnersdialzero]

If Mars Had Life On It

I Might Find My Wife On It

...by a country mile.

Heart = broken.

[drbeachboy]

It's meant to be funny. Geez, even Brian doesn't take himself as seriously as his fans. "Well, oh my, oh gosh, oh gee, she really sends chills inside of me" ain't exactly learned poetry, but it works, and only Brian Wilson could get away with writing it.

[37!ws]

Again, anyone naming anything that happened before 1980 can GTFO imo.

"Solar System" -- "If Mars had wife on it I might find my wife on it." First of all, there's a parallelism error with the verb tenses. Second, that's wrong -- men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Third, it might have been the cocaine, but I find it disturbing that Brian is seeking extraterrestrial beings in his search for a new bride.

"Please Let Me Wonder" -- "...if I'm who you're dreaming of" -- terrible lyrics. Why? Dangling preposition, use of the nominative case of the pronoun when it should be the objective case.

"Lazy Lizzie": in a nutshell, imagine a 1976 Brian sitting in a car and watching girls leave the school. *shudder!!!*

"Roller Skating Child" -- most of the chorus: "We'll make sweet lovin' 'til the sun goes down. We'll even do more when your mama's not around." YEEK!!! "Well, oh, my, oh, gosh, oh, gee" -- wow, very thoughtful. Brian has a way with words, dunnhe?

"Hey Little Tomboy" -- ewwwwwwwwwww! Especially the Adult/Child version.

Now, tell me why you say that anybody citing anything pre-1980 can GTFO, using only these as your sources.

[Mike's Beard]

Smart Girls has the worst lyrics of any song, anywhere, at anytime in the history of music.

[hypehat]

"Please Let Me Wonder" -- "...if I'm who you're dreaming of" -- terrible lyrics. Why? Dangling preposition, use of the nominative case of the pronoun when it should be the objective case.

That reminds me of the Jim Webb story he tells about Wichita Lineman - Many years after writing it and being praised by everyone with ears for it, he noticed, quite out of the blue, that the best line in the song,

'And I need you more than want you, and I want you for all time/and the Wichita Lineman is still on the line'

is actually a half rhyme. Safe to say, he's very angry at himself  

[runnersdialzero]

Now, tell me why you say that anybody citing anything pre-1980 can GTFO, using only these as your sources.

Exhibit A: http://www.surfermoon.com/lyrics/summer_in_paradise.html

etc. etc.

[Pinder's Gone To Kokomo And Back Again]

I'm shocked no one's mentioned Winds Of Change!

Awful lyrics and possibly Al's worst vocal!

Not an awful song by any stretch, but the whole thing just seems desperate.

Al's a GREAT singer. I've always wondered why he sounds so bad on here. I get the feeling he just could not commit himself to selling those lyrics no matter what his best intentions might have been.

Song interpretation is an (often overlooked) art form in and of itself.

[Aegir]

I really like that song.

[Pinder's Gone To Kokomo And Back Again]

I like the melody a lot! It could have been perfectly great. Mike sounds good on his part. He should have done the whole lead. I think he could have pulled off those lyrics with a bit more believability than Al.

[Tristero]

Please don't stone me to death, but basically all of the Smile lyrics aside from Surf's Up/Wonderful/Good Vibrations leave me cold and don't touch either my heart or my mind.

Cabinessence, Heroes and Villains?

Controversial though they may be with some, I think the lyrics for Cabinessence are lovely and evocative, and even Mike had nice things to say about H&V (except "sunny down snuff"!).  Some of the other lyrics on songs like Vega-Tables and Wind Chimes aren't necessarily anything to write home about, but for all their indulgences, I certainly wouldn't put any of the SMiLE lyrics in there with the worst that the Beach Boys have ever done.

I have to admit that some of that Love You/Adult Child stuff is pretty creepy. . .

[runnersdialzero]

Awful lyrics and possibly Al's worst vocal!

FIYURR WEEIND. OH DESERT WEEIND. SHE WAS BORN EEIN A DESERRRRT BREEEEEEEZE!

[Aegir]

You guys are thinking of Santa Ana Winds. that's a great song, too, though. Winds of Change is the last track on MIU.

[runnersdialzero]

You guys are thinking of Santa Ana Winds. that's a great song, too, though. Winds of Change is the last track on MIU.

Actually, I was referencing "Santa Ana Winds" as feeling it was a worser vocal performance imo, if only for the section quoted. T'be fair, there are many things I like about the song, but even the original, "ON MY PORCH. THINKIN' ABOUT THE TORCH," line is kinda dumb.

[Jesse Reiswig]

Hello, first post here.

I'm going to have to go with "Match Point of Our Love" as a nominee for bad lyric with the potential to fully drag down a potentially class song. This is the closest to writing a pure Bacharach-esque melody and chord structure that Brian (who presumably wrote most of the music) ever got, and it's a sexy, romantic, sad tune, with an excellent Brian vocal (little talked about is that Brian's voice had improved notably from its 15 Big Ones/Love You croak by the time of MIU--the return of Brian's sweet voice is one of the few assets of the album). But the song is essentially ruined with embarrassing tennis metaphors for love. With so many competent lyrics behind him couldn't Mike Love have come up with a better idea?