Looking for an interview I remember reading...

[Wylson]

Just a little request.

I remember reading an interview with Darian, from around the time of the BWPS sessions. It sticks out in my mind because Darian was quite candid about Brian's problems during the sessions - including Brian asking Darian if he had ever taken acid, and other things like that.

Did I dream this, or can somebody point me in the right direction? Cheers.

[Sam_BFC]

Here ya go matey.  Rather long though .

Part one:

CrutchfieldAdvisor Presents Brian Wilson's SMiLE
02 November 2004
by Lindsay Planer, CrutchfieldAdvisor.com


Interview with Darian Sahanaja, Musical Director of The Brian Wilson Band Prior to the band's sound check for that evening's performance of SMiLE in Atlanta, Georgia — one of only 23 stops on the North American leg of the tour — CrutchfieldAdvisor sat down for what turned out to be a very revealing and candid conversation with one of the primary components in making SMiLE a reality. Darian Sahanaja is a Los Angeles-based musical wunderkind. As devotees of neo power pop might be aware, not only is Darian the current musical director of the Brian Wilson Band, but he is also the co-founder of his own merry band of West Coast sunshine rockers, The Wondermints.

It was an honor and one of the admitted highlights of my two-plus decades as a music journalist to have spent the afternoon of October 16, 2004 with Sahanaja — the man referred to by Brian's wife Melinda as "the unsung hero of the SMiLE project."

Darian walked us through the euphoric highs and hellish lows that he personally experienced with Brian as they worked in unison to make SMiLE more than just a virtual reality. Although his own grounded sense of modesty prevents him from admitting so — without Darian, SMiLE may well have continued to be an unrealized piece of American folk lore.

Lindsay Planer: How did you get involved in working with Brian originally?

Darian Sahanaja: In essence it was the combining of two sets of musicians. There was a group from out of the Chicago area that had worked with Brian on the 1998 album Imagination under the direction of Joe Thomas, and a Los Angeles contingent consisting of myself and the band I am in, The Wondermints. We had to basically "pass the audition." I'm not even sure that Joe was even impressed with us. He was used to top session players who come in and read the notes off the page in a snap. We were more about actually feeling Brian's music and I don't know if he really understood that aspect. I really don't even know if Joe knew what he was getting himself into when he was attempting to form a road band to accompany Brian.

LP: Was it Joe Thomas' idea to take Brian on the road?

Darian Sahanaja: I am not sure, but my sense is that it initially had to do with being able to promote the Imagination album. Joe is a businessman and I am sure it was worked out in the usual fashion — between Melinda, Brian, and Joe. I really have to commend him for having the vision, courage, and faith to put Brian out in front of a modern audience. When we were first putting a setlist together, they wanted to include a healthy sampling of songs from the new record. But after all, this was Brian Wilson, the founder and soul behind The Beach Boys — you can't really get around that. So, to include some primary Beach Boys' numbers and a few hidden gems was part of the plan.

LP: Was the music given any degree of interpretive modernization?

Darian Sahanaja: Funny you should have mentioned that. As I vividly recall, very early in the process the music was being taken in a different direction and frankly, I was feeling a little uncomfortable about a lot of it.

LP: This was during rehearsals?

Darian Sahanaja: Yeah, we already had the gig and were about a week into the rehearsals for what became Brian's first tour. So, we were in rehearsals and Joe was playing piano and he has a certain discernible style and some of the results were better than others, ya know?

As I recall, we were playing "Caroline No" and it was starting to go in a "different direction," shall we say. That night, my manager happened to call me and asked how I was doing and how things were going. I think he heard the disappointment in my voice, and after he fished a little bit more, I told him. That report had gotten back to Melinda and she called the next day, resulting in a meeting of the minds between Joe and I. My argument was that this was going to be the first Brian Wilson tour and it shouldn't be anyone else's interpretation. This music has been interpreted time and time again, even by The Beach Boys, and up 'til then the mentality had been "if anybody wants to hear the songs performed faithfully, then they should just go out and buy the record." The way I looked at it was that a lot of this music had never been performed the way Brian had originally envisioned it in the studio, not even by the Beach Boys. . . especially the Pet Sounds' tracks.

So between the two of us, we had different approaches. What kept me there was the fact that I had three other guys from The Wondermints who were involved and needed a gig — and it was a good gig.

LP: How did they feel about what was going on?

Darian Sahanaja: They agreed with me, but were willing to hold out to see what would happen. So, I went with them and agreed to hang in there. Interestingly enough, after that incident we'd be running through songs and I'd hear Joe say things to the band like "Yeah, I think that sounded great guys. Hey Darian, what do you think?," and things like that. I guess that confrontation may have helped me gain a little respect. But that really didn't even matter to me and, at the time, Brian wasn't around because he was in Los Angeles. This would have been February of 1999 and the Pet Sounds' Sessions box set was up for an award. So here we all are arguing about the direction that the music should be taking, right?

So, Brian came back and we would go through the songs. We'd try a tune one way and Brian was still in his phase of going along with whatever people wanted him to do, the path of least resistance. At one point I suggested that we try a song in a particular way and his eyes lit up. I have to assume that it was because it sounded closer to what he had originally envisioned. That has opened him to revisiting a lot of his catalogue.

LP: I guess the most immediate and concurrent evidence of that would be that in the film Beautiful Dreamer: Brian Wilson and the Story of SMiLE, every note of music is performed by The Brian Wilson Band. Even seasoned ears such as mine have difficulty discerning the 2004 recordings from those fragments from 1966/1967 sessions that circulate.

Darian Sahanaja: Wow! Really? Which parts?

LP: "Our Prayer" and the instrumental track to "Caroline, No" are perhaps the most evident and stick in my mind as being not just note-perfect, but specifically bearing the exact inflection and tenor as the vintage tracks.

Darian Sahanaja: Well, it really was night and day. I think Joe did some tremendous work with Brian and there are parts of Imagination that I really dig. But for me, I wanted to start with the very blueprint of what has made Brian's music both of its time as well as timeless in the first place. Then, we can work from there. But when you start interpreting from the get-go, you lose me.

LP: Having worked so closely with Brian, what are your thoughts on why he had, up until this point, set himself up to be misinterpreted?

Darian Sahanaja: Well, you know him. The environment that Brian creates has a lot to do with the fact that he carries with him a childlike innocence and spontaneity. That is one facet to his brilliance and yet he is like a savant. You have to care for and nurture that quality because he brings out a protective nature in those around him. Over the years, he has revealed that sort of powerful dichotomy of being vulnerable, yet extremely powerful at the same time.

LP: That is a dangerous combination.

Darian Sahanaja: It opens him up to people who are ready to swoop in and take full advantage. I mean face it, over the years he has been exposed to a litany of leeches and plenty of people ready to exploit him and his gift. Even folks with the best of intentions do things that are ego-driven and much of the personal tragedy in Brian's life seems to have been born out of insecurity.

LP: That motif of insecurity also translates into what draws people to his music as well.

Darian Sahanaja: Oh yeah. I mean, I was around 12 when I first really turned on to The Beach Boys and the neighborhood boys would pick on me and at times I would get physically beaten up by these guys because it was not cool to like The Beach Boys at the time. The point being, it is that grade-school mentality and as I look back I can see that the only reason those guys did what they did was because deep-down they were somehow feeling inadequate in their lives. Their only outlet for power was found in putting other people down.

At the time that this was happening, it was obviously painful. So, what would I do but return to my room and listen to more of the music. That was what made me feel better about the situation and about being put down. What is really fascinating to me in hindsight is that the people I am most connected with these days are those who are also the most independent and free-thinking. They aren't too concerned with what other people think and because of that they have fully-formed personalities and character. It made me realize that at that point when I was faced with adversity and could have easily caved to peer-pressure, I just said I don't care what they think.

I love this music and it was at that formative age in my early teens that I started developing the attitude that I was no longer concerned about what other people thought. I like what I like and that is that. In a very personally and profound way, when I think about it now — well, it can kind of freak me out. I'll be on stage playing and then I'll look over at Brian and have this thought that not only has he influenced me musically, but he has also affected my personality and shaped it into who I am today.

LP: The correlation is definitely there. It especially translated into your work with The Wondermints and as the Musical Director of The Brian Wilson Band.

Darian Sahanaja: Well as I mentioned earlier, Brian's band started off with Joe Thomas putting everyone together as a touring unit. It turned out as The Wondermints with some of the Chicago players.

LP: Speaking of which, let's go through the line-up. First off, who are in The Wondermints?

Darian Sahanaja: Well, The Wondermints were a band before we hooked up with Brian comprised of me (I sing, play keyboards, and percussion); Nick Walusko (guitar/vocals); Mike D'Amico (drums/percussion); and Probyn Gregory (guitar/brass/keyboards/vocals). Then from Chicago are Bob Lizik (bass), Jimmy Hines (percussion/vocals), Scott Bennett (vocals/keyboards/percussion), Taylor Mills (vocals/percussion) and Paul Mertens (woodwind/brass). And finally there is Jeff Foskett who was a member of the touring Beach Boys during the 80's.

LP: Having seen The Brian Wilson band a dozen or so times since 1999, I am fascinated as to how the two combos have so effortlessly and seamlessly integrated themselves into interpreting Brian's music with such authority. It's almost as if it were you guys on the original '60s recordings, in terms of the prowess and the feel that you all bring to every facet of Brian's music, be it the complete Pet Sounds tour or even his solo album Getting In Over My Head from the summer of 2004.

Darian Sahanaja: Well, you just hit it. It just goes to show that it is about "feel." People say that to me and I really do not know what to say other than we just feel the music. We just feel it. When I first met Nick some 20 years ago, he just came by a mutual friend's place to pick up his amp and he was ready to go when we struck up a conversation about movies — we are both huge Stanley Kubrick fans. Within five minutes we were talking about Brian and not another five minutes passed before we started discussing SMiLE. Now mind you, this is 20 years ago. The whole reason SMiLE came up was that Nick mentioned that he had just driven from Los Angeles to San Diego to a great little record store that sold underground and bootleg records. So, he drove the 100+ miles to get a copy of the very first vinyl bootleg of SMiLE. So he bought it and it was a really hot day, well, the record got warped on the car ride home. Then in an act of desperation, coupled with a degree of naivete, he tried to iron it flat. Of course that totally ruined it for good and he was really upset. However, that was the content of our first conversation. We just love the same music and have a connection that is almost telepathic.

LP: That translates quite effectively on The Wondermints' studio albums.

Darian Sahanaja: Well, my favorite thing is to be in the studio.

LP: Like Brian. You guys seem to use the studio like a tool.

Darian Sahanaja: Yes! Absolutely we do. It's just another means of expressing yourself. You use it the same way you'd use any other instrument. It can provide a different texture or another color.

LP: That separates you from the majority of your contemporaries, as you both incorporate and manipulate the technology and process, rather than simply using it as a conveyance.

Darian Sahanaja: Hmmm . . . yeah, I guess we do. We really enjoy using it as a canvas, a little brighter here, more shading there. Then you step away from it and look at what you have.

LP: That returns us to your specific role in The Brian Wilson Band. How did you become the Musical Director or do you even consider yourself as such?

Darian Sahanaja: I have never really thought of myself as having a role, per se. I see it as Brian Wilson and we are simply his support group. His music is played and expressed through us. I always just thought of myself as one of those voices or instruments. The same way I don't consider myself as a great keyboard player, I'm a conduit. I will do whatever it takes in order to get the feeling that the music requires. There are players in Brian's band that I would consider as real "players." They have really mastered their instrument to near virtuoso levels. That said, I feel my forte is being able to think and feel the big picture.

LP: Was Jeff Foskett one of the Chicago area folks that Joe Thomas brought?

Darian Sahanaja: No, he was of the West Coast contingent. It was basically The Wondermints and Jeff and as I recall, he too had to audition as well. However, by virtue of being a great singer and having played with The Beach Boys, Jeff became the de facto bandleader. He was the one who handled organizing the band, leading the rehearsals, and taking care of the day-to-day stuff at the time. He is a great guy and is more of a taskmaster. I call him The Admiral because he has an executive manner and is a bit more assertive, while I tend to be — well, I will quote Van Dyke Parks on this — I tend to be a very good "beta male," and while that could have been bad if we'd viewed each other as competition, what it has amounted to over the years is a large degree of mutual respect.

LP: You both also have a tremendous amount of respect for the music.

Darian Sahanaja: We both agree and believe that the music is first and foremost. So, as the relationship has evolved, I became the guy who got into the nuts and bolts of breaking down the music and then running it past Brian. Because you know how Brian is. If you ask him about something — especially details of arrangements — he doesn't want the responsibility to deconstruct and reconstruct the songs. So, nine times out of ten, he'll say he doesn't remember. So I would just transcribe as much as I can, then present it to him and he will then tell me what is wrong.

LP: Is that how you worked out SMiLE?

Darian Sahanaja: Without question.

LP: Tell me what the process was like.

Darian Sahanaja: Well, there is an overwhelming amount of music with take upon take of each fragment. So, I whittled all that down to the best and most complete takes. Then I loaded them into my iBook and started playing them to Brian. I will be honest with you, at first he was not into doing it at all. Remember, this was emotionally taxing for him back in 1967. So much so, he abandoned it. So, bringing it all back to him was unsettling to say the least.

LP: He didn't even want to hear the music?

Darian Sahanaja: Not at that time he didn't, but he knew that he had to. I mean you've seen that in him. He is just that way. He will not want to even perform a show, but once he gets up on stage he loves it and gets off on the experience.

It's like a rollercoaster, ya know. The first hill is very steep and very scary and looming incrementally. Then the rest of the trip is a rush and he pulls it off smoothly. I think it is that initial fear that is so deep within Brian. He'll be pacing around before the show saying he is scared of rejection and we'll tell him, hey there are thousands of folks who paid to see you — they love you. But he'll just say "I know but I'm still scared." So in the end, for me I just do the best I can to break down the music into their respective parts and the same with the vocal harmonies, then run the results past Brian. Then, it is so much easier for Brian when he actually hears it all.

There was a time during the initial SMiLE rehearsals when I would give Brian a stack of lyrics for examples. This was during those earliest vocal rehearsals when he was not wanting to be involved because it was so overwhelming for him. So, he'd take the stack of vocal sheets and we'd barely get through a given song before he would be worried about the next one and the one after that and then the one after that. Having been through this process with him, I know he is thinking "how much more of this is there" and "how long am I going to have to work today?" He just wants to get through it. That is how daunting the task was to him. That is why it is best to do a little at a time with him. The worst thing is to present him with this monumental task that implies a mountain of work.

[Sam_BFC]

Part Two:

So, we'd break it down and take so many steps to reach a certain plateau and then build from there. With SMiLE he knew we had to put the entire tangible piece together. He saw that as a huge stack of work and even on a more manageable level, it was daunting.

LP: Yet you had such strong sonic support from the players — did that not help to allay the fears?

Darian Sahanaja: We have all grown into our respective roles as to what we each bring to the band. Granted, some have had a great head start in terms of knowing the music intimately.

One example is in the beginning, when I had my initial reservations that maybe some of the guys weren't as well-suited as some others because they were too polished as session players. It was just a job, you play what is on the page, and then punch the clock on the way out. However, that all changed as time has passed.

I'll tell you what it really is, we have all been around Brian and have all grown to really love him, and out of that love comes a deeper, more profound and personalized respect for the man. You can't help but be so moved by his honesty and his humility, he is just so genuine.

I'm a Los Angeles-based musician and have been around a lot of high-profile musicians, industry people, and artist types. All of them are hopefully striving for something that will last and have significance. Some get pretty close and you say, "Wow, that person is really into what they are doing and has a lot of conviction."

Then, you meet someone like Brian who simply blows everyone away in this department, even those who come close. Brian is living his honesty day-by-day; there are absolutely no pretensions. Ever. I mean even the guys who aspire towards that will fall short. We live in modern times. We do the day-to-day things that make us socially aware, we rationalize our every move. We have shame, and develop people skills that make us polite and give us other conventional qualities that make us "adults." Brian on the other hand, just by virtue of being honest and forthright on every level projects a childlike innocence. He is innocent almost to a fault in that way. So much so that he's developed certain defense mechanisms that will pop up. But, you can see right through them because of his unbridled honesty. You know when he is putting you on, he simply can not lie.

LP: There seems to be a purity to what he does that has not been diluted by time or substances.

Darian Sahanaja: It is a spiritual triumph to be certain and that translates into how he approaches his craft.

LP: That leads me to methodology of how Brian approached his past. We spoke about the small doses or short stacks of work that allow him not to be overwhelmed. Was the approach the same when he collaborated with Van Dyke Parks on the new musical links and overall completion of what we hear on the album and on the stage? The documentary Beautiful Dreamer touches on this with the fly-on-the-wall home movies of that initial meeting between Brian, Van Dyke, and you.

Darian Sahanaja: I'll level with you — the reason that footage existed to begin with was because the only portable recording device I had at the time was my mini video camera. I only really needed it to document audio. . . to document the sounds and musical ideas. But I don't own an audio recorder and this camera has a decent microphone — 90% of the footage is of my shoe, the floor and maybe Van Dyke's knee. But when David Leaf was working on Beautiful Dreamer he asked me if there was any video footage of us working. I told him I'd go and look, but anticipated most of it would just be of the carpet. So, when I reviewed what I had, there were a few snippets that were usable and they ended up in the documentary.

LP: Which lends itself perfectly to this documentary style.

Darian Sahanaja: I guess it does. I mean, I just saw the movie for the first time last night and it never occurred to me at the time. I was thinking, "Geez, I wish I had a better angle," when I saw it. But, see, when you're working you don't want to be intrusive at all.

LP: What was it like working with Van Dyke Parks?

Darian Sahanaja: Whew! Man. Well, I just saw him again last week at the CMJ panel discussion . . . anyway, he is from another era. What a gem of a human being.

LP: I always considered his aura as a 21st Century Mark Twain.

Darian Sahanaja: Right on, totally. He is so eloquent and there again is an example of another iconoclast who was into his own thing. I was sort of worried that they [Van Dyke Parks and Brian Wilson] were both gonna be weirded out by revisiting this. Maybe they were both feeling as if they were past that point in their lives when they could no longer identify with where they were in 1967. I noticed it when they got together for the first time — well, let's be clear, he came because Brian asked him.

LP: Just like in 1967.

Darian Sahanaja: Exactly. I found out somewhat later that Van Dyke was also very wary of what was going on. He was concerned about what was happening to their music.

LP: Because of past experience dealing with The Beach Boys' camp?

Darian Sahanaja: Yes. But, see, you talk to him now and he is so relieved. That was a word that he used over and over when we were working. He'd say, "I have such a sense of relief . . . this is such a relief!" And I really didn't understand what he meant at the time because all I wanted to do was just to respect the integrity of what they were doing. That was my primary concern and focus. I'd sort of take notes and at that juncture, all we wanted was to perform it live.

So, my role was to try and facilitate their ideas. They wrote the notes and words and I just figured out what was feasible within the context of our band, the voices, and instrumentation. We'd review a piece or a link for instance. I'd play it from my iBook, they would hear it. Brian might hum the melody line and then the next day Van Dyke would come back with the lyrics. I never questioned if they were new or vintage. He would just come in scratching his head saying, "Here is an idea I had about this and that and how it could connect here or there."

LP: How about the lyrical tag at the end of "Mrs. O'Leary's Cow?"

Darian Sahanaja: Now, at the time, that seemed to me to have been a brand new idea, although the concept was something that he [Van Dyke Parks] had always wanted to express. It was important to Van Dyke that this be a moment of cleansing and it was extremely important that it be the voice of Brian Wilson.

LP: There are a couple of sections and even some completed songs that were introduced as part of the SMiLE-era canon. We obviously can't say they were meant for SMiLE, since it did not tangibly exist. But for instance, why was "He Gives Speeches" left off?

Darian Sahanaja: I have no idea. It was one of the tracks that I played to Brian and he just said "Nah, junk that, I don't want it." I didn't question it any further. I liken it to a cinematic director filming a bunch of scenes for a movie and there is going to be some stuff left on the cutting room floor. That's how I looked at it.

LP: Is the same thing true of the "rock with me Henry" lyrics to the song "Wonderful?"

Darian Sahanaja: Again, I played that for Brian and he didn't like that either. That was probably yet another variation and a lot of the SMiLE music really is a lot a variation of themes. "Wind Chimes" has all sorts of recurring different variations — it was just where Brian's head was at the time. He sort of, without knowing it, created this new modular approach to recording with "Good Vibrations."

He just wanted to try different grooves, different instrumentation, and different tempos. It was maybe one idea and he'd go over it and over it and spend a whole day just working on a riff. Then the next day, he'd come in and work on another riff.

And it was like that for "Heroes And Villains," "Wind Chimes," and "Vega-Tables," and any host of the songs. They would cut variations of it in hopes that Brian would put it all together in a way that made sense. However, he wasn't able to do that back then.

LP: Even with "Good Vibrations" there are a number of different versions. The hit that most people are familiar with is lyrically not the first one he cut. For the album and for the tour, you are going back to the words Tony Asher wrote. Why?

Darian Sahanaja: They were the original lyrics and I don't know how that came about. I think somebody may have suggested it. When it came down to recording SMiLE and especially re-recording and revisiting "Good Vibrations," one of the greatest records of all time, what do you do? Well, what you do is hopefully capture the spirit of it. That is why I was totally open to the idea of having different elements to it. Such as having the different lyrics and having the "hum-di-dum" section in the bridge and stuff. Because that way it is something different. We're not trying to match it exactly stroke-for-stroke.

LP: Which is the dichotomous nature of this band, you can play it stroke-for-stroke if that is what is required of the music. Yet, the final result was a contemporary and undeniably relevant musical statement. I recall hearing audience recordings from the six-night debut run at Royal Festival Hall and being amazed at how true the vision had remained from 1967 to 2004. Any thoughts on how you collectively pulled that off?

Darian Sahanaja: I don't even really know. I mean, when you are doing it you're just dealing with the task at hand, to just try and do the best we can.

LP: Even when you are in the moment, how do you make something such as "Mrs. O'Leary's Cow" anything but far-out and how can you make something like "Wonderful" anything but beautiful? The textures range from the seeming incongruous sound of power tools and hammers hitting wood to lush orchestration within minutes of each other.

Darian Sahanaja: Yeah, one of my favorite reviews when we first started performing it described it as "a fine balance of beauty and madness," which I really loved.

LP: But isn't that moment what the title SMiLE and the whole impetus was about for Brian?

Darian Sahanaja: I believe it is. It is like when you laugh hysterically, you can't control it, and that concept describes Brian more now than ever. Now, out of the blue he just smiles and this goes back to Brian being so emotionally honest. You can tell if he's faking a smile or if he's feeling really happy and in the moment, like a child. You know how a baby will just smile out of nowhere and you think "why are they smiling?" It's like some good feeling is rushing through them, that's what Brian is like today. Since we finished the album we see much more genuine smiles. He just has that twinkle in his eye.

LP: During this sort of catharsis period or emotional rebirth, when did you see him [Brian] begin to emerge from his dazed and bewildered state into being the driven and focused presence he has become again?

Darian Sahanaja: When we were working with Van Dyke, in the fall of 2003, at first Brian was not into it. He'd say "how much more do we have to listen to today?" and that kind of thing. He knew he had all this work to do and he was dealing with whatever emotional pain he felt from simply hearing the music again.

As we took it a song at a time, I'd reassure him that all we were trying to do was to perform the songs. I'd say "you know the band man, we all love you and will do whatever it takes to make this stuff sound great. Brian, I know we can do it." And he'd say "Really? Really?" Because I knew we could do it, but if he didn't want to do it, then we ain't doin' it. So, I was trying to find a way of reassuring him that it can be done.

Once I started putting band members to the different sounds, saying "Paul [Mertens] could play this part and Bob [Lizik] will do this on the bass," then he would start thinking about it in a more modern context. Then when Van Dyke got into the fold, it was great because it became a whole new experience. They were on this creative roll.

We worked for a few weeks. They would have ideas and I'd jot them down or have them recorded on my camcorder. At the end of the day, I'd go home to my keyboard and lay down the sounds and sing the parts. Then when they would have newer ideas, like when they talked about a segue between two songs and how that was going to happen, my job was to get on the keyboard and record those ideas. Then I would bring them back the next day and present it to them. It was something tangible that they could listen to, we could critique, or say "that is one bar too long." That whole period was great. You can see that in the movie; Brian would say, "yeah, this is blowing my mind." He was on a high and he was really into it.

Then we stopped for the holiday break and the next time I saw Brian, he was a mess. I came over with a stack of lyrics so he and I could sit down and start actually going through the lead vocal parts that he would have to perform and he was not happening. I remember him shaking and he sat down and he started crying and yelling "I'm f@#$%! I'm f@#$%!"

I had seen this through cracked doors, but this was the first time it was just him and me. Melinda was off at a meeting and he was really freaking out. So, I said "OK Brian, let's just try and listen to some of this," and he said "OK. OK. OK."

We made it through maybe three songs and in the middle of the song he hurled the lyric sheet all the way across the room and screamed, "AHHHHHHH!!!" Lindsay, it was scary. I mean really scary. I ran down to the housekeeper who was familiar with this stuff happening. She knew it was for real and he was begging her to take him to the hospital and we are still trying to call Melinda. I didn't know what to do and tried to be a calming force. At one point I heard him yelling to me from the other room "Darian! Darian! They are trying to kill me! They are trying to kill me!"

I thought, "maybe until Melinda gets home, I can just sit with him and talk." He was asking me all sorts of questions and he was just scared. He'd say, "Have you ever dropped acid? Do you take drugs? How do you deal with that?" He'd describe this feeling in his chest that he can't get rid of. Man, that was really scary. And then we had to start rehearsing within the next week with the band, mainly the vocalists. That is some of what you see in the film.

I found out later that that incident was part of his seasonal depression, especially now that he is the last Wilson [of his generation] standing. His mom, dad, brothers are all gone. There was that and then there was the reality that we had to do SMiLE for real. There was a concert date set and we have to do this. All that stuff that happened with Van Dyke in the fall when he was in the moment and it was cool and he was happy, well that was gone. It was now time to do this and it was rough. He'd just sit there and it was like we were working without a head. The head was not attached to the body.

LP: But to hear you guys during those rehearsals, you all are there and you had done your homework.

Darian Sahanaja: Yeah, the parts are the parts. It is like you said though, there can be notes on music paper and you can play the notes. But you need that X-factor, that's what takes it beyond the notes. It comes from the soul. As a band we can feel the music, but it is Brian's and Van Dyke's presence that makes all of what we do true.

Those first few weeks of vocal rehearsals were really rough and I think he sang every now and then. They got a little better as he got more involved, and it all started with him making new connections. I could see it when we'd be rehearsing as a band. He'd sit on the sofa facing us and the first few days, he'd stare at the floor, look at his watch while we were working through the stuff. The next day his chin would be a little higher and he sort of looked around a bit.

Then the following day we'd be running through something and he's just stare at Nick while he was playing a guitar part. He stare at him throughout the whole length of the song.

Then, I could see the dots being connected. I could tell just from knowing him when he's really making connections musically, which for him is a soulful connection. He is allowing the sounds back in and they're penetrating. That's when I knew it was breaking through, because now he was making fresh connections with this music. He's creating new associations and thinking, "here we are in January of 2004. This is my band, that's Darian on the keyboard, and that's Scott [Bennett] playing that part, and ooh that's a cool sound."

So, we've come back to allowing the music to be what it was in the first place — just music, just sounds. So, now we are taking it a step at a time and working our way up to flying over to London.

I gotta tell you that just before the London shows, we were all really nervous. Because, you know how SMiLE is broken into three sections running 18 minutes or so each, and we've never done anything like that. What made me even more nervous was knowing that one of the things Brian gets out of a show is getting that feedback, that love and feel from the audience. Prior to SMiLE, it came to him every three minutes or so. But all of a sudden we had to perform these long lengths before any applause. That's what I was most nervous about, whether he could make it through. As a band we didn't know what was going to happen and we had not felt that nervous since our very first show in 1999. It was that heavy.

It was also amazing, because we did that first show and of course it was significant and unprecedented. When I looked over at Brian, he had that look of disciplined determination that he was gonna make it through this. Sure enough we did and afterwards backstage he was rocking back and forth and he said, "Darian! Darian! We did it! We did it!" I could tell that for him it was about, "Yeah, we did it!", and that the sky didn't fall, the world didn't end. For Van Dyke, after the first show he came backstage with tears running down his face and he was hugging us all.

So, for me that first show was more about vindication for Van Dyke than for Brian. Although it was historical, it was actually the second night I think that did it for Brian. He seemed to feel like he was ready to connect with what was happening and not just make it through the show. I could tell during that second show he'd reached the mountain peak and was looking at the valley on the other side and he was enjoying the view.

Then at the end, the standing ovation was indescribable. I had never seen anything like it as an audience member or a performer. I'd never seen just an outpouring of love and people clapping. It wasn't the kind of applause where people keep clapping as they look around feeling obligated to. They wouldn't let him speak or say anything. He'd try to say something, but they wouldn't let him. It seemed to go on forever. It was amazing and he looked over at us as if to say, "What do I do?"

He had this look on his face that I had only seen one other time, when Ronnie Spector met him backstage at the Beacon Theatre in New York. It was Brian's birthday and Ronnie was singing all of these songs to him. When Ronnie Spector sings it is with a voice that really moves Brian and he's looking at her like he is terrified, but because he loves it so much, it is scary-good.

That was the look on his face that second night. He loved the audience reaction, but I don't know how to handle it. I don't know how to take this. I saw in that moment when they were applauding and he was just taking it in, that is the moment I knew the demons were floating away from him. I stepped up to him and said, "Uh, Brian. . . I think they like SMiLE." From there each show got easier and it became like "Hi! I'm Brian Wilson, I wrote SMiLE. Check this music out!"

LP: Do you have anything theories as to why it is happening now in 2004?

Darian Sahanaja: His family. He has support and an environment conducive to making music.

LP: Why have Brian's tours all started in England?

Darian Sahanaja: He is much more of a household name over there and the markets are smaller. I believe that to them, his music is the sound of sunshine, which they don't get a lot of. I know people there that are so passionate about this music. Even though they don't say it, I can tell it is because their life consists of getting up, driving to work in the gloomy weather, sitting in an office — and that is their daily routine. When you have months and months and years and years of that not only in your own life, but in your parents' lives and their parents' lives — when faced with that, this music just sounds like heaven, and California becomes this mythological place.

LP: Americans seem to take it for granted, and the Europeans get it on a whole other level.

Darian Sahanaja: You know what? You can also turn that around, because the English are the same way about their own kind.

LP: I have noticed that feeling about Elton John for instance.

Darian Sahanaja: Yes, they are very down on him. They say "Sir Elton John??? What a poof!" They are very self-loathing and we are too, especially on the west coast. Even more so from where The Beach Boys are from, they think, "Who needs that superficial fun-in-the-sun stuff?"

LP: Do you feel that the band and especially Brian have a sense of how important this project is to so many people? There is nothing else in pop music that equals it in terms of historic importance. You can't reunite The Beatles.

Darian Sahanaja: It is only recently since we have been seeing the reviews and observing the effect that the music has on people. It's a surreal experience. We were nervous over the summer [before the North American leg of the tour] to see how people would react. But it is selling really well and changing people's lives and affecting them in a deep and real way. We all observe it and I don't really know what to think about it.

LP: In 200 years, I don't think that sort of stuff will be as important as the fact that in the fall of 2004 Brian Wilson's completed SMiLE was unveiled.

Darian Sahanaja: That is the exact sort of perspective one needs and is one of the reasons I am so comfortable in the studio, because it is about the big picture. You can have the greatest sounding guitar on earth when you hear it solo; then you put it in the context of the arrangement and it just doesn't fit. It is all about where things are placed and how they are put together. So, in the end, its about how it makes you feel. It doesn't matter what all the individual elements are at all. It is about the music and the feel. There are those who come out of the gate picking the new SMiLE apart, comparing it to the original recordings. I believe they do so because they've invested so much emotional stock in them.

LP: But those aren't the real thing.

Darian Sahanaja: Well, if final word from the artist means it's the real thing, then absolutely yes. And that should really take any power away from the critics and give it back to the only person worthy of it, Brian Wilson.

[Wylson]

Thanks Sam - I find it a really terrifying read.

[Runaways]

awesome stuff.

[adamghost]

Darian deserves a medal for all the work he's done with Brian.  I cannot think of anybody else who had the combination of technical ability, aesthetic sense, political skills and healthy kind of ego/non-ego to achieve the results he has.  He is the single best person in the world for the job that he was given.

[bossaroo]

so true.

[hypehat]

Quite why he hasn't kept doing it, I'll never know. The man made Brian do Smile, surely he can get him to do anything. Unless he was the leading force behind GIOMH or something, I don't see the need to sideline him.