Where would you take Brian Wilson on a date?

[Mr. Cohen]

OK, so you could sit there and act like you wouldn't go out on a date with Brian Wilson. But if he came up to you after a concert, lecherous and bleary-eyed, and asked you out on a date, there's no way you'd say no. He's Brian Wilson.

"Hey man, how'd you like to get a bite to eat with me sometime, maybe listen to some Smile tapes? And wear something pretty, maybe with the color red."

Now I don't know about you, but I'd want to impress the man on our first date. Let's imagine I had the money to fly him out to my home in Detroit - yes, this is more of a dream date scenario, but follow me.

The first thing I'd do is take him to Texas de Brazil Steakhouse in downtown and order him a nice, succulent flank steak. If he dribbled a little bits of food down his chin, I'd wipe it off with a napkin. He'd be smitten.

After, we'd go for a nice stroll along the Detroit River, maybe even holding hands. I'd point all the cool buildings on both sides of the shore, and how my family used to fish on the river almost a century ago.

Since it's a Friday, we'd finish the night by trekking up to the Detroit Institute of Arts and listening to Japanese taiko drums on the big grass lawn was we casually sip from our glasses of red wine.

Brian would end the night with a kiss and an old Smile acetate. It would be so beautiful, I think I'd cry. And then he'd fly back to California, but not before promising to return soon.

I'd go to sleep that night softly clutching my pillow, remembering it all with a smile.

Brian.

[Ziggy Stardust]

Somewhere near a piano..

teehee.

[EgoHanger1966]

OK, so you could sit there and act like you wouldn't go out on a date with Brian Wilson. But if he came up to you after a concert, lecherous and bleary-eyed, and asked you out on a date, there's no way you'd say no. He's Brian Wilson.

"Hey man, how'd you like to get a bite to eat with me sometime, maybe listen to some Smile tapes? And wear something pretty, maybe with the color red."

Now I don't know about you, but I'd want to impress the man on our first date. Let's imagine I had the money to fly him out to my home in Detroit - yes, this is more of a dream date scenario, but follow me.

The first thing I'd do is take him to Texas de Brazil Steakhouse in downtown and order him a nice, succulent flank steak. If he dribbled a little bits of food down his chin, I'd wipe it off with a napkin. He'd be smitten.

After, we'd go for a nice stroll along the Detroit River, maybe even holding hands. I'd point all the cool buildings on both sides of the shore, and how my family used to fish on the river almost a century ago.

Since it's a Friday, we'd finish the night by trekking up to the Detroit Institute of Arts and listening to Japanese taiko drums on the big grass lawn was we casually sip from our glasses of red wine.

Brian would end the night with a kiss and an old Smile acetate. It would be so beautiful, I think I'd cry. And then he'd fly back to California, but not before promising to return soon.

I'd go to sleep that night softly clutching my pillow, remembering it all with a smile.

Brian.

This sounds like something out one of those old issues of 16 or Teen World.

[Letsgoawayforawhile]

Please be a woman.

[LetHimRun]

Please be a woman.

Brian or Dada? I believe neither are.

[Mr. Cohen]

Please be a woman.

So you'd send Brian packing? 

[SamMcK]

LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEE IS A WOMANNNNNNNN

We would spend the night at home listening to Pet Sounds on the Hi Fi, eyes closed. We would also have steak and Al would come over later to watch sports. We'd start drinking once Bruce comes around with a crate of cheap lager and start rocking out to Love You, Jeffrey Foskett upon hearing this will phone the police and we will be thrown into jail with Charles Manson who will say to the other BB's "alright fellas how you doing". Meanwhile Mike Love stays at home during all this and cry's into a large box of Thornton's chocolates pondering why he wasn't included in the partying.

[Letsgoawayforawhile]

No, I'd date him.
I just wouldn't wipe the A1 from his mouth as gingerly as you.
 

[onkster]

I'd take him to the Carolina Pines or the Wich Stand, then head down to Venice for some fun at POP. Then we'd listen to the radio for a bit, then head to Western to listen to rough tracks for "I'm In Great Shape". We'd smoke a joint with Flo and Eddie, then I'd pass out and find myself for some reason in Texas, wondering what the hell happened with my ex-wife and my scuba-drowned dad.

Oh, wait. My name's not Ray.

[bgas]

I'd take him to Ronnie's house where we'd turn pon the player and listen to Be My Baby a thousand times over

[Amy B.]

LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEE IS A WOMANNNNNNNN

We would spend the night at home listening to Pet Sounds on the Hi Fi, eyes closed. We would also have steak and Al would come over later to watch sports. We'd start drinking once Bruce comes around with a crate of cheap lager and start rocking out to Love You, Jeffrey Foskett upon hearing this will phone the police and we will be thrown into jail with Charles Manson who will say to the other BB's "alright fellas how you doing". Meanwhile Mike Love stays at home during all this and cry's into a large box of Thornton's chocolates pondering why he wasn't included in the partying.

You're talking about the Brian of your fantasy. In real life, I think Brian would like to go to a restaurant that serves a good steak and has a piano. I'd make sure beforehand that management would let Brian play the piano if he wants to. Is Melinda okay with all of this?

EDIT: I just realized how ridiculous that question sounded. Of course Melinda is okay with it. You've got Manson in your scenario, and I'm worried about offending the wife!

[HeyJude]

As long as Brian wasn't wearing the leather pants from the the Dick Clark "Night Time" performance from 1988...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGfwkkm-GQI

Yes, I am going to find as many ways as possible to reference that peformance.   

[joshferrell]

I would do what I always do on my dates every week for the past 10 years, first I would do my weekly virgin sacrifice, then I would cook the virgin for dinner and we would eat her ,yum yum yummy,sounds pretty mouth watering as I type this, then I would go celebrate at the strip club while wearing a coat made from my virgin sacrifices skin then go back to my place to drink a couple glasses of her blood.. of course I never get e second date for some strange reason..I'm not sure why though.. of course if I ONLY date virgins..

[Rocky Raccoon]

I'd take him to a movie theater where I would arrange a private screening of Norbit.

[onkster]

On a double bill with "Seconds". And maybe a third, with "Easy Rider" (Spector!!!)

[hypehat]

I'd say, 'How's about an 8 o'clock dinner? How's about a 9 o'clock movie? Won't that be groovy?'

Dinner = Steak. Duh.

Movie = Reckon Brian digs Pixar? They've got a new one out.