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Author Topic: Exodus Part Three: The Resign Thread + The Long Version Of What Happened  (Read 30984 times)
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donald
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« Reply #125 on: March 01, 2006, 01:32:05 PM »

I would add that TRUST is a key element in a relationship.  That is especially true when all you have to go on is the printed word of a stranger with a fictitious name and persona.  It takes a leap of faith to enter into an online community and begin to develop some sort of human relationship.

A breach of trust can quickly blow the whole thing.
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« Reply #126 on: March 01, 2006, 01:38:27 PM »

Let me agree with mikea on this too:  talking to her privately was a bad idea, even if she never complained.  It simply would look inappropriate, and should never have happened.  That's my fault.

Mocking?  I didn't intend to mock anyone, but there again, if I hurt her feelings, that's my fault.

Blown out of proportion?  Definitely.  
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« Reply #127 on: March 01, 2006, 01:55:30 PM »

Wasn't she a "moderator" or something like that less than a week ago? If she was that unconfortable about Chuck's behaviour (her right, I guess) I guess she'd rather stay away from anything to do with him and just post as any other member.
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« Reply #128 on: March 01, 2006, 01:56:26 PM »

I think for some reason emotions run very high online.  It's fascinating, psychologically, that we get so involved. 
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« Reply #129 on: March 01, 2006, 02:56:08 PM »

I think for some reason emotions run very high online.  It's fascinating, psychologically, that we get so involved. 

A friend of mine has a theory about this.  She believes that time online is compressed - that things happen much more quickly here than they do IRL.  So whereas IRL we have time to consider what's happening, to plan actions, to think about WTF is going on, in our online relationships that is not always true.  So events happen more quickly, and we don't get the benefit of the extra [or normal] amount of time to consider them and process them and deal with them.  Therefore our emotions get foda'd around, and things get - wait for it - blown way out of proportion.

BTW - no sides being taken by this poster, neither in public nor in private.  Just so y'know.
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« Reply #130 on: March 01, 2006, 03:02:56 PM »

I'm not taking any sides, either.  I do feel bad about what's happened.

I think that theory makes sense, I think there is an urgency, and compression that tends to warp reality when dealing online.  I've certainly been effected by that.

I think another thing is that any physicality and body language is totally absent.  Even when you talk on the phone with a family member, you have a visual of them, their quirks and how they move.  But online, there's no reference...but that reference is so important because online we're six generations removed from the other person.

Our thoughts are rendered as speech, which we can render into text.  Then somebody else can read that text, convert it into speech in their head, and then process it.

It's almost like playing the telephone game...every time we type something on a message board.  I think it's a wonder these things work at all.
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« Reply #131 on: March 01, 2006, 03:12:47 PM »

For what it's worth, I will not choose sides in this matter either
 I don't post a lot (understatement, i know), but I vist this board often.
Although I wasn't on the board when the sh*t hit the fan, I have an idea of what Chuck is going through.  I was wrongfully accused of sexual harassment while I was in 5th grade.  I was guilty without anyone even asking me my side of the story.  She said I did it and that was that.  It was horrible and I don't wish that on anyone.

Well that's enough outta me for now.

-Tim
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« Reply #132 on: March 01, 2006, 03:22:44 PM »

trying to stay neutral on this one , however if I was a co-admin of a section of the board I would consider behind the scenes private messaging with fellow admins as necessary, even if it was just 'How are you today?' stuff, i always find it helps when I get on with the people I work with.... Wink
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« Reply #133 on: March 01, 2006, 03:54:45 PM »

Well, I deleted my account two or three weeks ago, mostly because I decided not to spend too much time reading and posting on boards of any kind.  It wasn't like I read and posted much, but I had too much to do to do any of it.  Now, I've got time on my hands, apparently.  I just happened to peruse this board for the first time in weeks, and what do I find?  I don't want Chuck to think I deleted my account on account of this woman.  So, I've re-signed up.  I think any female poster that puts up a photo of herself on an avatar and cyberflirts with guys is a bit suspect (I am female, and had problems when I used to post under my real name on Usenet a long time ago, and learned my lesson).  It's just insane, and I think she was looking for attention.  You only get as much respect as you ask for, and it is different when you're a woman, you need to be careful.  So, don't feel bad, Chuck.  I'm not totally in agreement with everything on this board, including the language censorship, but it has more going for it than many boards.  Keep up the good work.
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« Reply #134 on: March 01, 2006, 04:31:23 PM »

Oh my fucking hell...this goes beyond silly or even stupid. Grown men and women acting like children on a MESSAGE BOARD. Honestly, I'm ashamed of both sides. You know what is really sad? We all make fun of the sh*t that happens in the world of BW/BB, yet the same crap is happening here. I'm not taking sides, nor will I, because I don't have all the facts? That, and the fact that I *DO NOT CARE*. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, but enough of this nonsense. At the end of the day, the world goes on, blah blah blah. Regardless of who's here, who's not here, whatever, I'm still going to go wherever I want online to find out/discuss info about Brian & the 'Boys music. That's why I'm here. f*** all this other nonsense.

That said, I do have to say one thing about this.

Quote
i agree.  this paley/wilson thing was so secret that person number one was ONLY allowed to tell four other people

WTF was up with that? I saw the thread in question; hell, I was a (small) part of it. At that time,  I did keep mentioning that if Ian was not allowed to say what Paley did (or did not) tell him in confidence, then it should be left alone. Like I had said, the truth will eventually come out. , and if was personal reasons for Paley himself, and not related to Brian, then who cares? However, I surmised that the discussion continued via PM, and other people were made aware. I kinda wondered about Ian's motives for even bringing it up; if someone asks you to keep something in confidence, you do not throw hints around about it to others, esp. if you know they are going to hound you about it. Now, I *really* wonder about that.

Okay, I've said that, and with that I'm through with this matter.







I hope.
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« Reply #135 on: March 01, 2006, 05:37:34 PM »

I've been away for a long time now. This kind of crap is the reason why. People have become so involved in this sh*t, this monstrosity we call the internet and message boards and all of that, that I started to feel sorry for the world around me. I had to unplug from all of this and go out and live. And honestly, it's been a great experience. Becoming that involved in all of this internet crap is unhealthy. It was for me anyway. I've done so much and went out and just met people. Formed new real face to face relationships, met a girl, wrote music under the beautiful blue sky, experienced all kinds of nature, and just got away from everything that is this (myspace doesn't count considering it's just pretty much become my email account now, and how I stay in touch with my personal friends).

Sides will be not taken in my case, because in my typical blunt honesty: I don't give a f***. This is the internet, no one is showing up at anyone else's house and stalking them or causing physical harm in anyway. If someone is feeling harassed, it's pretty damn easy to make it stop.

Leave.

Which is what it looks like has happened. Problem solved, it won't happen anymore and whoever is wrong and whoever is right doesn't matter anymore. There's no sense in pointing fingers and bickering when it's not going to do a damn bit of good to the situation. If people want to leave, let em. For those who want to stay, great. It's still just a message board on the internet. It is sad that what was once the greatest thing on the world wide web has become what it has. That's not in anyway blaming anyone for anything, but it's obvious why the old guard left and didn't come back a long time ago. It feels like Jr. High. I was never a big contributer to either sites, but the friendships I've formed with guys like Chris D., George Duss, and the soap opera that was Ian and myself going at eachother constantly until a mutual respect developed out of it has been totally worth it.

I'm not taking any sides, either.  I do feel bad about what's happened.

I think that theory makes sense, I think there is an urgency, and compression that tends to warp reality when dealing online.  I've certainly been effected by that.

I think another thing is that any physicality and body language is totally absent.  Even when you talk on the phone with a family member, you have a visual of them, their quirks and how they move.  But online, there's no reference...but that reference is so important because online we're six generations removed from the other person.

Our thoughts are rendered as speech, which we can render into text.  Then somebody else can read that text, convert it into speech in their head, and then process it.

It's almost like playing the telephone game...every time we type something on a message board.  I think it's a wonder these things work at all.

Spot on H. Another example why your the most well thought and relevant dude who's ever graced the Smile/Smiley shop. Whether you think much of me or not, I've learned a lot from you over the years. Thanks.

If you want to blast me for any of my comments, go ahead.

After all, it's just a message board.

And H's point about the huge generation gaps is very relevant. A lot of people my age have a sense of humor that would be very offensive to older generations and people with very high morals. It's almost impossible to be a smart ass without offended at least one person who isn't hip to the joke. It is indeed a wonder that these things work at all.

Alright, I'm done. See everyone on the other side. It was a fun ride since 2001, but it's just not fun anymore.
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« Reply #136 on: March 01, 2006, 05:48:59 PM »

good to hear from ya Nez. I started a "Where is Nez?" thread the other day, but it's gone now.
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« Reply #137 on: March 01, 2006, 05:55:37 PM »

i agree with billy and nez

or as i like to cvall them

nezilly

:X

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« Reply #138 on: March 01, 2006, 05:58:37 PM »

Damn, I love this thread.  Especially these last few pages.  I go over to that other board and feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone.  Here, I don't have to read people explain around common sense.
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« Reply #139 on: March 01, 2006, 06:16:30 PM »

good to hear from ya Nez. I started a "Where is Nez?" thread the other day, but it's gone now.

Nez has been having a splended time. Thanks for the thoughts J. I hope your peter Gabriel love has grown and continues to grow.
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« Reply #140 on: March 01, 2006, 06:18:01 PM »

I don't want to be involved but I'd hate to think I/we sat oblivious to some problem: Are other women being harrassed by anyone through this board?
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« Reply #141 on: March 01, 2006, 06:25:20 PM »

I don't want to be involved but I'd hate to think I/we sat oblivious to some problem: Are other women being harrassed by anyone through this board?

There is that model that people post pictures of every few posts...
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"Today, in our increasingly secular world, loving one another doesn't just mean "loving."  It means being forced to accept as normal those behaviors and lifestyles that are absolutely abnormal.  It's not enough to live and let live.  You must chant their mantra as well; you must repent, renounce your own values, and pronounce those of the radical left as superior and adopt them."
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« Reply #142 on: March 01, 2006, 06:26:13 PM »

Quote
I hope your peter Gabriel love has grown and continues to grow.

I'm afraid you have me confused with another poster, Nez.
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« Reply #143 on: March 01, 2006, 06:27:24 PM »

f***, I've been away so long I don't even know what's going on anymore. Sorry about that.
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« Reply #144 on: March 01, 2006, 07:03:24 PM »

whoa now...I know a lot has been said and hostilities have come to a head, but Mike...doncha think that kinda direct attack is over the line?

Edit: not to mention, unneccessary?
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« Reply #145 on: March 01, 2006, 07:25:45 PM »

Charles, you are a true humanitarian and a very decent person. You have never posted anything inappropriate. Not even close. I'm grateful this place exists and you've very tolerant to the eccentricities of it's members. Thank you.

And I hate to say anything personally negative. But in Charles' defense, that Laurie Arleen woman is a complete wack job. What kind of middle aged woman spends all day on a Beach Boys message board? Also, her avatar has always been pictures of herself that were taken 20 years ago. What kind of reaction is she looking for? I guess she thinks she looked attractive back in the day. Is she trying to get male attention? She's pretty sad and real embarrasing.


Oh, and if anyone doesn't like it here, than they can leave. f*** you.

hahahahaha this is the most ridiculously unnecessary post of the day.  pretty friggin funny though.
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"Today, in our increasingly secular world, loving one another doesn't just mean "loving."  It means being forced to accept as normal those behaviors and lifestyles that are absolutely abnormal.  It's not enough to live and let live.  You must chant their mantra as well; you must repent, renounce your own values, and pronounce those of the radical left as superior and adopt them."
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« Reply #146 on: March 01, 2006, 08:14:27 PM »

Assholes, you all are, yess.
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« Reply #147 on: March 01, 2006, 08:29:34 PM »

Mike Lovestein's comments are exactly what's wrong with the board and what the fuss is all about.  And you're not a wack job spending all your time on a message board?  People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.  And look at all the avatars people around here use - real images of the posters is kind of the exception, isn't it?  How do you even know that LaurieArleen's avatar is a picture of her?

I've never witnesses John and Jon "ganging up" on anybody - they put up with more sh*t on the board than they should have, in my opinion, before finally banning those who deserved to be banned.

If crap like Lovestein's comments are now acceptable here, I guess I'll give up on the board as well.

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« Reply #148 on: March 01, 2006, 08:32:44 PM »

Wow that was a long 10 pages...this is why I stay out of the sandbox and stick with the musical stuff.
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« Reply #149 on: March 01, 2006, 09:59:27 PM »

Yeah....let's start another appreciation thread.  Roll Eyes

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