philip glass and drugs and other stuff

[sofonanm]

hokay folkies, story time begins

early last year two things came into my life at once and together: drugs and philip glass.

strange, right? not really.

music in twelve parts, einstein on the beach (1979 recording), koyaanisqatsi (soundtrack and film), music with changing parts, and maybe a few others that i've forgotten were plenty enough to keep me busy.

hours and hours and hours of music there folks.

the first that became saturated in my brain was 'part 1' of music in twelve parts while on a high dose of a certain dissociative drug. that track is so blissful, timeless, it's like dissolving into a puddle of water and experiencing each molecule dance about happily. or, it's like free floating through space without any existential terror or thought and enjoy the experience of being now-here, nowhere. God is nowhere, God is now-here. after that blissful track the album is MOVING MOVING MOVING for three more hours.

i used to lay on my drive or on the lawn with this album on headphones, staring into the night sky, and seeing the sky bend down and kiss my forehead, and then expanding up into the heavens myself.

einstein on the beach (1979 recording) must have changed the functioning of my mind by itself. in fact, with all of glass' music i find my cognitive processes and overall skills have advanced significantly. it's like existing in a world of infinite mathematical musical possibilities all swirling through my mind demonstrating the connectedness of everything. i listened to it through hard times. my drug use was wild, since i had no other obligations in my life but to live, i was tripping almost daily, and if not tripping, just getting stoned or living in the aftermath of long nights.

i took the album with me to the beach at night a few times, as gray black shadow waves roared in the distance and cold wet sand licked my feet. constellations in the sky all-round and cool summer air making my skin feel good. it was also my friend - it's therapeutic in an absolutely mad and dizzying way.

what to say of koyaanisqatsi? the first time i saw the film i was tripping and it just blew.me.away.

it was the most profound thing i'd seen captured in film. so much covered, so much captured, so much meaning conveyed through image and sound.

anyway, around the end of two thousand and eight i began to stop using drugs. i used a few times here and there and twice in january, and smoked weed a few times here and there, but i stopped using all and any kind of intoxicants for the most part.

anyway, i haven't listened to any of these, my favorite albums, since i stopped with the drugs.

the memories of the music had become ingrained into my mind with a chemical association. other music that i have experienced completely sober does not leave this memory - the memory of music experienced, played, or listened to while sober seems very time-bound. not only time bound but identity-bound, as if intertwined with the personality of that specific time the music was experienced, and blended with the egoic structure that was operative then.

the memory of music experienced, played, or listened to while in altered states seems free from the restriction of time and identity. during such a state the egoic structure isn't always transcended (just because 'you' don't feel like 'you' does not mean you've transcended your egoic condition) as it is by necessity for entry into deep states of sober meditation (where, to gain entry into such a state one has to break the continuity of thought and maintain a state of thoughtless awareness) but kind of displaced, altered, forgotten about due to the intensity of experience that is occuring.

so my memory of much of this music is not time bound and not identity bound - it still seems 'right'. this is difficult to explain.

say you listened to some music at age 12, which you would never listen to now at all because you know more about music, have refined your tastes more, understand why as a child you enjoyed that particular music, etc., --- that is the time & identity bound experience and you keep it in its place, where it belongs. now imagine for a moment that that experience, hearing the music at age 12, occurred while you were in some kind of altered state which was not the normal experiencing structure of your being that you were and are accustomed to. the memory of that experience, that music, would probably be deeper due to that.

that's what i mean by the chemical association to the music. i hear it, and i'm there. where i was then. at the moment, the personality, the experiencing structure of that time, seems very different to the one now. so there's a conflict there, but the actual memory of the music experienced during the altered state is beyond that, or perhaps below it to such an extent that the set and setting is irrelevant, and the experience of the music, if i listen to it afresh, remains in that timeless state.

this might not sound so bad, but the chemical associations are somewhat painful, or at least conflicting, with my experiencing structure right now. it seems that all the more intensely moving, emotional, beautiful, even profound experiences were had under chemical influence. the memory of experiencing music sober is not as strong - there's not a single bit of music that i can think of that trumps anything that i heard on drugs, simply because of the association to it and the pleasure of that state itself.

anyway, tonight i'm re-vising much of this music. i'm seeing whether the experience of it sober will develop its own powerful memory that will overlap the previous, chemically encoded, memory of it. this is more for my own emotional satisfaction - as sometimes i don't see why i shouldn't start using drugs again since the overall experience of life seems more intense and full.

since i stopped using drugs i've been exploring meditation quite seriously and have a handful of memories of intense experiences with that. there's something different though - those memories are of 'no-mind' consciousness - when no thought, impression, etc., moves in the mind, total mental stillness, and one experiences the experiencer to all experiencing - which is sort of like emptiness or space, but with a recognition that "i am this" and that "this is consciousness". so mostly the memory is of entering and leaving that state - and the state itself i remember like a shining jewel only. untouchable.

"how did i ever get there?" i wonder when i'm having difficulty entering the meditative state. clearly the effects of drugs occur on a different level, producing hallucinations, alteration of perceptions, etc., and meditation basically destroys all hallucinations, and there is a detachment from the senses and perceptions of the world, body and mind, and in some spiritual circles this is seen as superior to the experiences on drugs which are considered illusions or, at best, just experiences like any other, since they occur in the mind or the body and the senses are at play. in this understanding, drugs are a potential spiritual setback because they lead to attachments to the experiences that they generate - thus binding the individual to one experience, or the memory of it, such as i have tried to explain with this music thing. 

god, i ramble. 

[sofonanm]

i'm considering making the exact same thread but with terry riley as the main composer, since while listening to all this glass i listened to riley just as much, and a few steve reich albums.

glass and reich (thinking music for 18 musicians specifically) hit me on a certain level. riley comes at me on a more mystical level, like his shri camel or persian surgery dervishes. i associate reich with the summertime, i was riding a bicycle miles and miles and one afternoon i was hanging around in a graveyard.

now, i KNOW you all want to hear about my memories associated with lou reed's metal machine music, something i've listened to at least 30 times straight.... 

[sofonanm]

I bet no one replies to this thread.

anyway - I recommend that all Brian Wilson fans check out Philip Glass. I've always wondered why Brian limited himself to pop music when he could've easily made the transition into his own take on the movement these guys headed. Brian showed signs of it here and there.

[SG7]

I have his boxset. Glass is my favorite!!! I never did drugs to his stuff but his operas like Einstein on the Beach have been blowing me away for quite some time. Amazing stuff.

Glassworks is a BIG favorite of mine too.

[the captain]

I dislike Glass. (And Reich. And Riley.)

[sofonanm]

I dislike Glass. (And Reich. And Riley.)

You also think the Beatles are the greatest thing ever, though, right?

 

[SG7]

Terry Riley's in C is my favorite also 

[sofonanm]

Terry Riley's in C is my favorite also 

IN C is wonderful. A marijuana album if there ever was one.

[the captain]

I dislike Glass. (And Reich. And Riley.)

You also think the Beatles are the greatest thing ever, though, right?

 

No.

[SG7]

Terry Riley's in C is my favorite also 

IN C is wonderful. A marijuana album if there ever was one.

I've listened to most of this sober 

[sofonanm]

Terry Riley's in C is my favorite also 

IN C is wonderful. A marijuana album if there ever was one.

I've listened to most of this sober 

nothing wrong with that.

it has a certain quality, though, which reminds me very much of a marijuana high.

hell, terry conceived it while he was stoned on a bus!

which version do you have?  i have a few different performances of it if you want to hear another.

[SG7]

I have the first version from the late 60s. That I like the most.

[buddhahat]

hokay folkies, story time begins

early last year two things came into my life at once and together: drugs and philip glass.

strange, right? not really.

music in twelve parts, einstein on the beach (1979 recording), koyaanisqatsi (soundtrack and film), music with changing parts, and maybe a few others that i've forgotten were plenty enough to keep me busy.

hours and hours and hours of music there folks.

the first that became saturated in my brain was 'part 1' of music in twelve parts while on a high dose of a certain dissociative drug. that track is so blissful, timeless, it's like dissolving into a puddle of water and experiencing each molecule dance about happily. or, it's like free floating through space without any existential terror or thought and enjoy the experience of being now-here, nowhere. God is nowhere, God is now-here. after that blissful track the album is MOVING MOVING MOVING for three more hours.

i used to lay on my drive or on the lawn with this album on headphones, staring into the night sky, and seeing the sky bend down and kiss my forehead, and then expanding up into the heavens myself.

einstein on the beach (1979 recording) must have changed the functioning of my mind by itself. in fact, with all of glass' music i find my cognitive processes and overall skills have advanced significantly. it's like existing in a world of infinite mathematical musical possibilities all swirling through my mind demonstrating the connectedness of everything. i listened to it through hard times. my drug use was wild, since i had no other obligations in my life but to live, i was tripping almost daily, and if not tripping, just getting stoned or living in the aftermath of long nights.

i took the album with me to the beach at night a few times, as gray black shadow waves roared in the distance and cold wet sand licked my feet. constellations in the sky all-round and cool summer air making my skin feel good. it was also my friend - it's therapeutic in an absolutely mad and dizzying way.

what to say of koyaanisqatsi? the first time i saw the film i was tripping and it just blew.me.away.

it was the most profound thing i'd seen captured in film. so much covered, so much captured, so much meaning conveyed through image and sound.

anyway, around the end of two thousand and eight i began to stop using drugs. i used a few times here and there and twice in january, and smoked weed a few times here and there, but i stopped using all and any kind of intoxicants for the most part.

anyway, i haven't listened to any of these, my favorite albums, since i stopped with the drugs.

the memories of the music had become ingrained into my mind with a chemical association. other music that i have experienced completely sober does not leave this memory - the memory of music experienced, played, or listened to while sober seems very time-bound. not only time bound but identity-bound, as if intertwined with the personality of that specific time the music was experienced, and blended with the egoic structure that was operative then.

the memory of music experienced, played, or listened to while in altered states seems free from the restriction of time and identity. during such a state the egoic structure isn't always transcended (just because 'you' don't feel like 'you' does not mean you've transcended your egoic condition) as it is by necessity for entry into deep states of sober meditation (where, to gain entry into such a state one has to break the continuity of thought and maintain a state of thoughtless awareness) but kind of displaced, altered, forgotten about due to the intensity of experience that is occuring.

so my memory of much of this music is not time bound and not identity bound - it still seems 'right'. this is difficult to explain.

say you listened to some music at age 12, which you would never listen to now at all because you know more about music, have refined your tastes more, understand why as a child you enjoyed that particular music, etc., --- that is the time & identity bound experience and you keep it in its place, where it belongs. now imagine for a moment that that experience, hearing the music at age 12, occurred while you were in some kind of altered state which was not the normal experiencing structure of your being that you were and are accustomed to. the memory of that experience, that music, would probably be deeper due to that.

that's what i mean by the chemical association to the music. i hear it, and i'm there. where i was then. at the moment, the personality, the experiencing structure of that time, seems very different to the one now. so there's a conflict there, but the actual memory of the music experienced during the altered state is beyond that, or perhaps below it to such an extent that the set and setting is irrelevant, and the experience of the music, if i listen to it afresh, remains in that timeless state.

this might not sound so bad, but the chemical associations are somewhat painful, or at least conflicting, with my experiencing structure right now. it seems that all the more intensely moving, emotional, beautiful, even profound experiences were had under chemical influence. the memory of experiencing music sober is not as strong - there's not a single bit of music that i can think of that trumps anything that i heard on drugs, simply because of the association to it and the pleasure of that state itself.

anyway, tonight i'm re-vising much of this music. i'm seeing whether the experience of it sober will develop its own powerful memory that will overlap the previous, chemically encoded, memory of it. this is more for my own emotional satisfaction - as sometimes i don't see why i shouldn't start using drugs again since the overall experience of life seems more intense and full.

since i stopped using drugs i've been exploring meditation quite seriously and have a handful of memories of intense experiences with that. there's something different though - those memories are of 'no-mind' consciousness - when no thought, impression, etc., moves in the mind, total mental stillness, and one experiences the experiencer to all experiencing - which is sort of like emptiness or space, but with a recognition that "i am this" and that "this is consciousness". so mostly the memory is of entering and leaving that state - and the state itself i remember like a shining jewel only. untouchable.

"how did i ever get there?" i wonder when i'm having difficulty entering the meditative state. clearly the effects of drugs occur on a different level, producing hallucinations, alteration of perceptions, etc., and meditation basically destroys all hallucinations, and there is a detachment from the senses and perceptions of the world, body and mind, and in some spiritual circles this is seen as superior to the experiences on drugs which are considered illusions or, at best, just experiences like any other, since they occur in the mind or the body and the senses are at play. in this understanding, drugs are a potential spiritual setback because they lead to attachments to the experiences that they generate - thus binding the individual to one experience, or the memory of it, such as i have tried to explain with this music thing. 

god, i ramble. 

Wow Beach Boys fans are nuts!! Seriously though, I like your posts. A breath of lysergic air!

I starting meditating recently too, but with mixed results. Sometimes some quite profound things have happened, and sometimes nothing happens.

I find the strongest associations for me are when I listen to my favourite music out in the countryside on a sunny day. I remember going for a run in the country when I'd first discovered Smile and the music seemed so perfectly linked to the sunshine and the air and the landscape. I think beach Boys music seems particularly of the landscape, and nature itself. Much more so than say, the Beatles, which seems somehow more intellectual and urban.

[the captain]

There's a Phillip Glass American Masters series documentary on PBS at the moment. Not sure if it's new, but I've never seen it. Not terribly excited, but hey, it's like retaking old college courses.

Whoa, his wife is a really good-looking woman.

Anyway. Yeah. Glass. Television. Pretentious. (Me or him?) Blah blah.

[SG7]

There is also a really good series on him as well on youtube from around the Glassworks era.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uE3HNpF2YQ

[Ganz Allein]

I bet no one replies to this thread.

anyway - I recommend that all Brian Wilson fans check out Philip Glass. I've always wondered why Brian limited himself to pop music when he could've easily made the transition into his own take on the movement these guys headed. Brian showed signs of it here and there.

Interesting.  I personally find Brian's music more fascinating and transcendent that that of Glass, Riley, Reich, et. al.  Smaller in structure/scale though his creations may be, I think that at his best he comes up with harmonic and melodic beauty/surprises that those guys never achieve(d).  Of course their aim in musical creation is totally different than Brian's.  He's more interested in resolution.