Brian Wilson: The Solo Experience

Back in 2011, I wrote the following as an (obviously not that serious) attempt to imagine a Brian Wilson concern full of Brian Wilson solo tunes. Because it's imaginary, we can assume an enormous audience has packed the arena.

Brian Wilson: The Solo Experience

Unlimited budget, minimal Beach Boys tunes! (Sponsored by the BW solo fans of the Smiley Smile Board)

The stage is dark. You then hear Brian's band, a capella, beginning to sing ... "Concert, concert tonight. Concert, concert tonight."
Suddenly the stage lights blaze to full strength, and Brian is standing in the center of the stage, in his leather "Night Time" outfit (it's been let out a bit). He has a keytar in hand! He and the band then launch into the full version of --

1. Concert Tonight

As the music swirls to its climax, Brian barks "one, two, three" and
the band suddenly shifts into --

2. Let's Go to Heaven in My Car

Which leads without pause into --

3. In My Car
4. Desert Drive

As the band winds down, Brian's keytar lifts from his body and vanishes into the rafters. A grand piano slides out to center stage, and the band members vanish in puffs of smoke. Winking at the audience, Brian begins to read awkwardly from cue cards. "I'll call for them later," he reads. "As you can tell, I've loved cars and what they represent about our great lamb -- I mean land -- for years. Maybe some of these tunes will sound familiar." He plays an elaborate if awkward opening, incorporating bits of Rhapsody in Blue, and then begins to pound away --

5. solo piano medley:

Our Club Club -> Shortnin' Bread ->
This Car of Mine -> Shortnin' Bread - >
Ballad of Ol' Betsy

The piano slides offstage, and an electric keyboard rises in front of Brian. He takes off his leather jacket. The band members rise from beneath the stage, singing the "Roll around heaven all day" chant as footage of a glowing sun is projected behind them. Scott Bennett, dressed like Clark Gable in Gone With the Wind, steps forward to sing the first verse of --

6. California Role

The band starts playing the next song, but Brian excitedly silences them. "I do love California," he says, but there are lots of great places in this great world -- and plenty of gorgeous chicks, too." The band starts again --

7. South American
8. Mexican Girl
9. Oh Mi Amor

"All that equatorial loving has me beat!" Brian exclaims. "You know what would really perk me up? A sniff of --"

10. Night Bloomin' Jasmine

As the band jams toward the end, Brian rises from his keyboard, which sinks into the stage. He puts on his leather jacket, picks up a microphone and stalks around the stage to deliver an extended version of --

11. Night Time
12. Dancin' the Night Away - >
13. How Could We Still Be Dancin'

A roadie hands Brian his keytar. Drenched in sweat from his lumbering dancing during the previous tunes, Brian unsteadily addresses the audience. "Dancing and goo -- good times are in my blood. But so is the hope for a better tomorrow. Please remember to donate generously to my favorite charity. This next song was written just for them! And for all of these -- these -- these kids?" Brian looks bewildered.

Jeff Foskett's booming laugh sounds. "Brian, we have a surprise! A dozen kids from the Make a Wish foundation are here to help us close out this set!" Little kids, all in leather jackets and with mini-keytars, rush out onstage to surround Brian. Wearing a terrified look, he plays --

14. Make a Wish

End of the first set. Second set and encores to come.

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