Brian was no good in the sack. Let's think about it. His ex Marilyn basically said her and Brian stopped having sex regularly around '69 (how ironic, right?). Brian then has a dildo made at one point and parades with it around his kids, claiming he's not a real man. Later, he invites Tandyn Almer over to teach him how to properly please his wife, which involves Tandyn having actual sex with Marilyn. Eventually, in a desperate bid to sexually satisfy his wife, he even willingly (?) allows himself to be cuckolded by Marilyn with Rocky Pamplin. When Marilyn decides to leave Brian anyway, he's hurt and lashes out at Pamplin, but it's obvious Brian knew and consented to the arrangement for some time.
The fact that Brian felt most comfortable at 19 approaching girls way younger than him already reveals a deep-seated insecurity over his sexual prowess. The guy was likely a weak lover and rather submissive. He would sing lyrics about "eating up her wild honey" and "we'll fill the hours with things that both most like to do, spending a sweet Sunday lovin' you" (a clever reference to 69). Other songs would explore his difficulties with understanding and fulfilling woman. No wonder he was so jealous of Dennis! Now that was a real man!
On an unrelated note, Brian really was a punk rocker at heart in the '70s, and it's a shame no one around him could understand it. The way he was willing to rock out a single riff for almost an entire song was very much a punk thing. He'd lock into that one groove and just bleed his emotions. That's like something the Sex Pistols would do. But none of the Beach Boys could ever understand such a thing.
Well, that's it.
I love Brian as much as any parasocial-relationship celebrity icon I've ever had...but this is still the funniest thing I've read all week. I think some of the prudes and white knights need to lighten up a bit; there is a lot of truth to this as uncomfortable as it may sound and frankly I think an honest discussion of the fact that a lot of people (men especially) have weird sexual hangups would do society some good. I hate how it's just sort of expected that every man is going to be a p*ssy-slayer right out the gate and the uncomfortable reality that some are gonna struggle or be affected by negative experiences is swept under the rug (except to make fun of them "hurr hurr incels" when it's convenient).
Brian wasn't a ladies man in the traditional sense and probably felt inadequate next to his little brother getting laid left and right without trying. It may not be the most flattering aspect of his life but if we're being honest with ourselves, at least some of us have been there. It makes him relatably flawed and sympathetic. I don't whitewash my heroes' "imperfections." At the end of the day, Brian still had two fully devoted wives and an extremely devoted, by some accounts physically intimate sister-in-law. He did ok and even if he didn't there's more to life besides.
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