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Author Topic: What happened...  (Read 19762 times)
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MBE
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« Reply #25 on: January 16, 2010, 10:58:30 AM »

The thread will be cleaned up and brought out back to public.

I'm very happy to hear this.
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Chris Brown
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« Reply #26 on: January 16, 2010, 12:25:40 PM »

The thread will be cleaned up and brought out back to public.

I'm very happy to hear this.

As am I.
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« Reply #27 on: January 16, 2010, 12:34:24 PM »


You have a point Surfer Girl. But said moderator made 2 posts in this whole 20+ page long topic. Maybe a pretty direct and strong response, but certainly not personally offending another member of this board… the responses were way more extreme for that matter because someone else chose to take it personal.

Agreed. What said moderator wrote in no way deserved the OTT response that it got...or is still getting.
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Jason
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« Reply #28 on: January 16, 2010, 04:21:01 PM »

As "said moderator" in this whole exchange, I would like to make a few things known. And it will be my final word on the topic unless someone wants to take me to task in PMs.

I do not make any bones about my opinions. I don't make them known because I'm just waiting for reactions. I make them known for any other reason another member on here would - for the point of discussion. As far as the same comments I made yesterday, if another member on this board made the same comments, there would never have been the same response as what happened last night.

I did not personally insult anyone on the forum in that thread. Those who took offense to my comments were quick to throw insults at me, however. That's fine. I can take the heat as much as I can dish it out. But to dish out the heat and then get all in a tizzy, saying you're leaving the board because I'm the moderator, you don't like what I have to say, and I have no right to speak my mind because I'm "above all of that", then there's a problem.

And now we're at the point where members are starting to make demands and guidelines as to how they expect others to post and who should or shouldn't be on the board. And I'm left with the same viewpoint - if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. This is the internet. It's expected. I'm the one, who, apparently, is making all the comments that are freaking people out, yet not once have I denied anyone their right to speak their mind nor their ability to hang out on here. Discussions are fine. If they get heated, oh well. But to go to the extent that was reached last night, that's too far. My comments should have been glanced over, received one or two jabs, and been forgotten, as has happened in the past.

It's merely a personal bias. But I will be steadfast and say I did nothing wrong in that thread, and that those who were so quick to point the finger at me should turn their razor sharp judgments and stares on themselves. I did not make anyone leave the forum. I did not once say anyone was unwelcome. Everyone who said they were leaving left of their own free will. I will not, however, sit back and let other people tell me where to take myself. No one has been exiled from this board and no one was made to leave. They can all come back.

But I will never, ever compromise on this issue because I did nothing wrong.
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« Reply #29 on: January 16, 2010, 04:34:36 PM »

I don't remember what any particular people said (honestly I can almost never tell any of you apart ... one screen name blends into another and another), but I remember some name-calling, insults to wives, and whatever else. Also plenty of heated--but on topic--discussion. Seems to me the former is horribly out of line, the latter isn't. There are rules to this message board. As long as everyone (moderators and members) follows them and the moderators are even-handed in enforcing them, there is no issue, right? As for the quitting, well, that happens every few months. Has happened before. Will again. Most people who leave, often with much drama, return. Some don't. Sometimes it's a shame they leave. Sometimes it isn't. Either way, the world keeps spinning.
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« Reply #30 on: January 16, 2010, 05:23:13 PM »

Yeah, McCabe sent me a PM with some really unpleasant things thrown at my direction and I upped it a notch. Ooohhh boowooo. What did he expect? An official apology? LOL. If you're sending PM's with profanity, uh, be prepared to stand up the heat. This is my final word on the subject.
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rogerlancelot
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« Reply #31 on: January 16, 2010, 06:33:45 PM »

I recently left Doug Sulpy's Beatles board because everybody seemed to be bashing everything (in particular Paul, Beatles Rock Band and Ringo's new album). At this point I will never ever buy another Sulpy book again.

This message board on the other hand is very fun. I have learned so much information thanks to the great contributors here (way too many to mention) and I have no plans of leaving. We all have different opinions but for the most part are able to discuss them with some sort of dignity and respect for others. I was a bit taken back by Nobody (for instance) but on the other hand have made some "friends" on here (like Jay, Surfer Joe and Heartical Don).

I chose to stay out of the Mike Love thread because I accept the BB as the entire package. Every member, every album and every story told is completely fascinating to me. Even though I have only been a fan since 1999 this group has become one of my all time favorites.

And the moderators are doing a fantastic job by the way!
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« Reply #32 on: January 16, 2010, 06:40:05 PM »

Wow! I haven't been on this message board for week. I didn't realise that a thread that I started would cause such a stir. I knew that people differed on their opinions on this subject but not that it was such an emotionally heated one. But I got a lot of info I was looking for, which had little to do with current emotional opinions.
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Mike Love autobiography (pg 242-243)
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« Reply #33 on: January 16, 2010, 07:50:26 PM »

I recently left Doug Sulpy's Beatles board because everybody seemed to be bashing everything (in particular Paul, Beatles Rock Band and Ringo's new album). At this point I will never ever buy another Sulpy book again.

This message board on the other hand is very fun. I have learned so much information thanks to the great contributors here (way too many to mention) and I have no plans of leaving. We all have different opinions but for the most part are able to discuss them with some sort of dignity and respect for others. I was a bit taken back by Nobody (for instance) but on the other hand have made some "friends" on here (like Jay, Surfer Joe and Heartical Don).

I chose to stay out of the Mike Love thread because I accept the BB as the entire package. Every member, every album and every story told is completely fascinating to me. Even though I have only been a fan since 1999 this group has become one of my all time favorites.

And the moderators are doing a fantastic job by the way!

Thanks!

Also, very well put.
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« Reply #34 on: January 16, 2010, 07:52:04 PM »

I tend to like what that guy with Harvey Levin's picture has to say!
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rogerlancelot
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« Reply #35 on: January 16, 2010, 08:25:22 PM »

I tend to like what that guy with Harvey Levin's picture has to say!

I had to "wiki" Harvey Levin to see who you were talking about. I have to admit that my avatar is actually an older picture of me from 1999 (same time I got into BB's and met my wife).
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Wilsonista
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« Reply #36 on: January 16, 2010, 09:43:28 PM »

I just got home and saw this thread which my wife posted in and this will be my last word on this topic and then I will deactivate my account.

Yeah, McCabe sent me a PM with some really unpleasant things thrown at my direction and I upped it a notch. Ooohhh boowooo. What did he expect? An official apology? LOL. If you're sending PM's with profanity, uh, be prepared to stand up the heat. This is my final word on the subject.

Here is the post I sent you:

"I am sick and tired of buttholes like you and Jason bashing a mentally ill man like he chose to be that or is faking. Mike Love might not have been a cause of his merda, but he sire as foda did not help his lot in life. That is a friggin' fact and anyone wh0 denies that is a friggin' idiot.

saying that my posts make you want to physically hurt me is friggin' offensive too."

This isn't even in the same league!

This is the offending PM I sent you, right?  It's rather mild in comparison to the response you gave me.  Like Cam's situation you've never met myself or my wife and yet you chose to insult her.  And I'm the unreasonable one?  I will admit my private message was a full blown body check.  Your response was a cross check delivered from behind with a few rabbit punches thrown in for good measure. 

This is my take on the moderator roll.  Chris Wood is correct.  A board moderator should be above the fray, including his little passive agressive brianista buttfucking reference in his name.  I never once suggested that Jason's or anyone else's right to post what they want be taken away, but the honorable thing to do would be to step down.  Admittedly, Jason did not sink to the depths that dancing bear did in this thread, but I have seen plenty of passive-agressive tinged pissiness and pettiness in past discussions that make me question whether he should be a moderator.  My recollection of the deleted thread is that Clay was the first one who said he was leaving the board specifically because of Jason.  Jason is only one of a few reasons why I'm leaving. 

It is a shame that it came to this.  The thread up to that point was a good one.  The thing that I found disturbing about their responses to the dysfunctions in Brian's and Dennis' lives is the failure on Jason's and dancingbear's part to at least acknowledge that not all of their problems (meaning Brian and Dennis) were entirely of their own making.  I don't mind debating this stuff with people who have differences of opinions, but I don't like having my own opinion dismissed.  Having said that, I could live with that and suck it up, but when you personally insult my family, dismiss the insult with "you were asking for it", and petulantly refuse to apologize to her (not necessarily to me) then you have crossed a line.  You don't get to explain away your physical threat with "we live on different continents and it should have been obvious that I was joking".  And you don't get to blame me for the insults you made. 

With that, I say good night.
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« Reply #37 on: January 16, 2010, 09:47:21 PM »

For what it's worth(probably not much, sadly) I always liked RobMac's posts on this board.
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Wilsonista
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« Reply #38 on: January 16, 2010, 09:54:55 PM »

On the menu bar, where it says Home, Help, Search...etc., click "Profile". At the left of that screen is a link that says "Delete This Account". Click, follow the instructions, and you will no longer be a member.

Yeah, I tried that.  Only problem is there's no such link!  Great job moderating!   High Five Thud Rock!

What now, genius? 
Just ban me, for crying out loud!
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« Reply #39 on: January 16, 2010, 11:16:22 PM »

Bye bye Rob.  Cheesy

I'll quote you with your catch phrase, the one you've been gracing, for years, everyone who happen to not agree with you:

"You just don't get it, do you?"


 Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
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« Reply #40 on: January 16, 2010, 11:22:34 PM »

Speaking personally I will miss Rob on these boards as he was a reputable fellow who shared his opinions without crossing the 'disrespect' line, certainly treated me very well always. I personally often feel like cursing or responding harshly at posts but don't because I don't like it when people talk to me that way in real life or on the internet. Kindess, love, mercy and respect should be the credos of every post here and personally I think we've lost one poster (two if Clay doesn't come back, which I hope he does) who put those values first.
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« Reply #41 on: January 16, 2010, 11:35:06 PM »

 A couple of thoughts:

(1) Posting a borderline physical threat- no, I didn't detect any particularly humorous element in "I want to smash your head against the wall"- should be a severe warning, even if done to a moderator's arch foe.  Posting an insult to someone's wife, if that was really done (I didn't see it) should be an automatic, no-brainer banning offense, and I can't believe I even have to type that. Sorry, elders, but that's a statement on the quality of moderation here. Instead, someone else leaves and the apparent offender (?) shows his sensitivity to the growing situation by taunting the guy even further in oversize type.

(2) My personal view is that the problems in that thread had a lot to do with things other than Mike Love and Brian Wilson, and the table (and the tone) had been set for it to happen for quite a while.  It didn't happen in a vacuum, and it didn't happen because one guy spoke his mind or exercised his rights.  It was the result of a building frustration.

(3) I don't claim innocence in that thread, and I apologize to the bystanders for my role in the incivility, which was a little subtler than some, but not small. Rather than say "I state my opinions and apologize to no one!" I'll just take responsibility.  I have no delusions about the importance of my opinions vs. causing a lot of heartburn.

(4) I strongly agree that moderators should not be trolls, and if expressing one's opinion regularly includes a lot of pot-stirring and belligerence and feuding and even taunting half the board with your signature (or your avatar or whatever it is), well then, maybe it's time to choose which role to play.  I've expressed this opinion in the past.  

Here's a good formula: if you've actively contributed to more than one thread here needing to be nuked, you shouldn't be a moderator.  You should be a moderatee.

(5) And this should probably have been #1- I can't believe two good posters with years of contributing are being allowed to leave- even assisted to leave- without any discussion.  Again, sorry, mods, but not a positive reflection on the tone that's been set.

So I'll say it: Rob, Clay, DON'T LEAVE.  

I wish you guys would at least compromise by sticking around and discussing things in this thread, and then maybe just taking a break rather than un-registering, and agreeing to check back in down the road to see how things are. If they aren't better, I'll quietly join you in exile.

When I think of all the great posters who used to be over here and are gone now, it makes me really sad. Some of that's natural over time, but some could have been avoided.

(6) Since I've said a bunch of negative stuff, I'll end on a couple of good vibes: one guy I don't always agree with, but whose tone in that thread should be admired, if the thread ever returns, is erik, proclaimed KokoMoses of the Kokomites, and he never lost his Kokomojo.  He posted cogent thoughts in a friendly-not just civil, but friendly- tone that made me want to re-think about things, and I felt like he read others' posts with an equal open-mindedness.  A lot of the good of that thread came from friendly spirit like his. He's here for the music, and to hang around with others who love the music. Good for him.  

(7)  rogerlancelot, thanks for the good word- returned in full.
« Last Edit: January 16, 2010, 11:36:19 PM by Surfer Joe » Logged

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« Reply #42 on: January 16, 2010, 11:56:57 PM »

(2) My personal view is that the problems in that thread had a lot to do with things other than Mike Love and Brian Wilson, and the table (and the tone) had been set for it to happen for quite a while.  It didn't happen in a vacuum, and it didn't happen because one guy spoke his mind or exercised his rights.  It was the result of a building frustration.

Look, I think Mr. McCabe has been extremely rude in this message board for years. All those "You just don't get it, do you?", and treating anyone who doesn't worship the fucking Wilson Brothers like a fucking mean spirited idiot and asshole has REALLY got on my nerves.

I did what I did, won't apologize, and I'm really glad I did it. Whatever happens from now on, it was well worth it. Cheesy

PS: You're misquoting the head smashing post. If I had wanted to threaten directly the guy, I'd have done it. That's not what I did.
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« Reply #43 on: January 17, 2010, 12:05:54 AM »

I'll try to limit the tit-for-tat responses, but I don't believe I misquoted you or misrepresented you in any way.  On my monitor it said you wanted to smash his head against the wall, I'm pretty sure. And that and other things make you a very odd candidate for calling anyone else rude. If you don't regret ratcheting things up to the present level, and take pleasure in it, that speaks for itself.
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« Reply #44 on: January 17, 2010, 12:17:24 AM »

Rob & Clay,

I don't post very often, but I hope you  take a break from the board like Surfer Joe said instead of leaving it entirely.   I can honestly say that whenever I saw a post by you guys, I wouldn't skip it, even if I didn't totally agree with it.

 Also, to single out Clay for a second, I still appreciate it when he asked the board for questions when he interviewed Brian several months back.  He didn't have to do that.

Finally, if you're not striving to live by this rule, think about it:  "treat others the way you'd like to be treated."
« Last Edit: January 17, 2010, 12:18:22 AM by jeremylr » Logged
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« Reply #45 on: January 17, 2010, 12:19:56 AM »

I'll try to limit the tit-for-tat responses, but I don't believe I misquoted you or misrepresented you in any way.  On my monitor it said you wanted to smash his head against the wall, I'm pretty sure. And that and other things make you a very odd candidate for calling anyone else rude. If you don't regret ratcheting things up to the present level, and take pleasure in it, that speaks for itself.
It's still better than some phony apologies. Everyone in those last pages of that thread knew what they were doing, including you, sir. What should I say, you were rude. Grin And I'll pass without your high morals judgement, thank you.

PS: I forgot about the quote. I basically wrote "Almost every single post by Rob McCabe makes me want to smash his head against a wall, but he hates Mike Love's guts and it's his right to voice his opinion". I hope that having to read this abomination again doesn't make you waste your breakfast.  Smiley
« Last Edit: January 17, 2010, 12:24:37 AM by Dancing Bear » Logged

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« Reply #46 on: January 17, 2010, 12:24:26 AM »

And I'll pass without your high morals judgement, thank you.

Yes, but pass for what?  Grin
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« Reply #47 on: January 17, 2010, 12:27:53 AM »

A free pass for answering disgusting PMs and taking it up a notch.  Cheesy
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« Reply #48 on: January 17, 2010, 12:31:15 AM »

Apparently that's what this board is all about now.  All yours, buddy- revel in your new kingdom. Dancing Bear's woods, and guess what he does in 'em.
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« Reply #49 on: January 17, 2010, 12:37:22 AM »

Oh my. I understand you folks worship Brian Wilson, but you don't have to play victim just like him. Smiley

As far as I remember, I was never rude to you before. You brought up the situation, again, in this thread, and I'm playing it as hard as you. Does it frustrate you? Did you expect me to read your posts and apologize or leave the board? They're not that great. Grin
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