Relationships and Law and the Press

[MBE]

About 1 percent of rock or movie stars make the same moral decisions I would. Hell I still like Spector's music even if I think he's a jerk.

[Jonas]

Gee whiz you guys, ever heard of a joke?

[jeremylr]

Mrs. Debbie,

I appreciate you posting & setting the record straight.  I've got a question or three for you:  what years were you with Brian?  I assume sometime beginning in the late '70s, but knowing exactly when gives me a better perspective.  I know it's possible that you could have stayed in touch as friends over the years with Brian, too. 

Does a story come to mind about how you came to meet Brian?  Was he working on a particular record?  Again, thanks for being here,

Jeremy

[dk]

Jeremy:

Unless I retrieve a lot of documents and explain extremely complicated issues, such as friendships and love for young people, and how one clearly defines each (which I'm not inclined to do, nor capable of doing), I can't give too much more detailed information.

I was in touch with the Ivar offices from the time I was a young teen and a kindly receptionist listened to my enthusiastic comments about the music.  In late 1969, I moved to Hollywood and began working at the offices, handling the fan mail and answering the switchboard when need.  I met Brian there, and my genuine love for the music, along with the fact that I was a good listener and he was a good teacher (my ear could never have been better trained), brought an instantaneous friendship.  We talked for hours once, which got him into a little hot water with his wife, and got me into such hot water that they would hide me in the sauna when Marilyn came to the offices (no kidding).  The sauna was then full of labeled recording tapes from the studio, so I had a great time.  Anyway, I was far too young to understand that I could be direct and possibly clear up the problem (who knows, she was very young too, so maybe not).

In any case, the friendship remained, and when Brian started living on his own just before the divorce, he relied on me more than before.  Was there love?... certainly...there still is.  All of Brian's friends love him so much, and real love takes whatever form is appropriate to the situation.  Can I define it any further than that?   No.  Just think about your own lives.

I met Melinda before she and Brian were married, and I think we hit it off well.  While I don't see them often, she is always kind and friendly to me, and Brian always loves seeing an old friend.  The relationship, last time I checked, is good.  I love Brian, his people, his band...I get to the concerts when I can, AND I have a marriage and a home to support, just like he does.

If I disappointed anyone, maybe that's a good thing.  A "mystery woman" is always far more exotic, but distracts from the point - the MUSIC.

Debbie

[GLarson432]

I think that may have been the best post this board has seen in...ohh...who knows?  It's at or near the top of MY list!

Thank you Debbie.

[Wirestone]

I was thinking the same. What an incredibly sane and compassionate post. I can't think of a better attitude to have.

[dk]

Thanks!  I failed to mention one thing about Brian's wonderful friends.  After the first performance of "Smile" in London, Eva Leaf and I were sitting in front of the fireplace in the hotel drinking our second or third glass of champagne (who would know at that point?).  She had to deal with my uncontrollable sobs after the show, that I didn't even understand.  She just turned to me and said, "See, Debbie, you CAN love someone enough."  What other form of relationship do we really need?  I think that's what we all are to him, the ones who "love him enough," that he can love us with that marvelous gift of his.

Debbie

[The Heartical Don]

Holy mackerel. Welcome to the board! I'm not sure that Nick Kent's piece is regarded as gospel around here, so your post is very welcome. Thanks.

Although you did not address me (sorry) I take the liberty to chime in. 'The Dark Stuff' made quite a lot of fuss when it was originally published, and, since many pages in it were dedicated to Brian Wilson, I bought it. And since I was more impressionable then, and had read little on the Boys, I found the stories quite adventurous. But that changed when I got to know more.

I'd say now that a lot of the prose is a 'hatchet job' in the classic British tradition. It is often very insulting and demeaning (he calls someone in Iggy Pop's entourage looking like 'someone's afterbirth', if I recall rightly). He shows no respect for his subjects. The only star in the book is Nick Kent himself (read the piece where he and Keith Richards take heroin and Richards overdoses and gets all blue in the face). Somehow I think that the whole book is psychological projection: Kent had so much wanted to be a rock 'n' roll guitar slinger. But he failed. So he got to write about the occupation.

There were more things. He writes about the tribulations of Brian, who, according to Kent, was so out of it that he dropped his cigarette ashes into his salad and devoured the whole cocktail with glee. Which was later denied.

The worst part is that Kent makes a meek apology to come out of it all as a shining moral person: he writes (I paraphrase): 'I feel like an utter prick and idiot for having been a witness to the private hell of Brian Wilson'.

[c-man]

Holy mackerel. Welcome to the board! I'm not sure that Nick Kent's piece is regarded as gospel around here, so your post is very welcome. Thanks.

Although you did not address me (sorry) I take the liberty to chime in. 'The Dark Stuff' made quite a lot of fuss when it was originally published, and, since many pages in it were dedicated to Brian Wilson, I bought it. And since I was more impressionable then, and had read little on the Boys, I found the stories quite adventurous. But that changed when I got to know more.

I'd say now that a lot of the prose is a 'hatchet job' in the classic British tradition. It is often very insulting and demeaning (he calls someone in Iggy Pop's entourage looking like 'someone's afterbirth', if I recall rightly). He shows no respect for his subjects. The only star in the book is Nick Kent himself (read the piece where he and Keith Richards take heroin and Richards overdoses and gets all blue in the face). Somehow I think that the whole book is psychological projection: Kent had so much wanted to be a rock 'n' roll guitar slinger. But he failed. So he got to write about the occupation.

There were more things. He writes about the tribulations of Brian, who, according to Kent, was so out of it that he dropped his cigarette ashes into his salad and devoured the whole cocktail with glee. Which was later denied.

The worst part is that Kent makes a meek apology to come out of it all as a shining moral person: he writes (I paraphrase): 'I feel like an utter prick and idiot for having been a witness to the private hell of Brian Wilson'.

Didn't Bruce dedicate a song to Kent at Knebworth?  "Good Vibrations", if I remember correctly?  I'm sure it was done sardonically, or sarcastically, given Bruce's abhorrence of Kent.

[Andrew G. Doe]

Something that must be noted here is that the Brian section of The Dark Stuff is significantly different from the articles he wrote in 1975.

[♩♬🐸 Billy C ♯♫♩🐇]

In what way? The original articles came out 3 years before my entry into this world.

For me, the nadir in the Dark Stuff was the "Jacuzzi? JACUZZI?!" part.

[jeremylr]

Yep - being hidden in the the sauna was pretty funny.  It gave me a lot of time to see what was in the recording "vault" (meaning sauna).  Some of the fan mail had been sitting there for 6 years.  I felt badly when I saw all the fan club membership checks, money orders, etc...then I found my own payment from when I was 11 years old.

It was great fun to work at Ivar.  On a good day, I'd be making deliveries to the studio and get to hear "Sunflower" being recorded (mostly at Wally Heider then, around the corner from the offices).  Carl would always ask my (or any fan's) opinion on a mix.  They were like that...

Debbie

[♩♬🐸 Billy C ♯♫♩🐇]

Uhhh....was that a quote?

[jeremylr]

Yes, we emailed back & forth, & Mrs. Debbie said it was fine to post it here.

[♩♬🐸 Billy C ♯♫♩🐇]

ok...kinda confused me for a moment.

[dk]

Yes - It was a quote.  I appreciate his asking first!  We all must take care, even at this site.  It IS a public forum...

Debbie

[Andrew G. Doe]

I work on the principle that everything I post here gets back to the 'interested parties'.

And it does. 

[TdHabib]

I work on the principle that everything I post here gets back to the 'interested parties'.

And it does. 

It's a wonder Melinda will still speak to you

[LittleSurferGirl]

Thanks.  I tried to avoid message boards, as things can be misconstrued and attacked.  You folks have been wonderful.  I had a lot of time and personal experiences to sort through over my lifetime.  I truly regret being too young and inexperienced to understand Marlilyn's, and her family's, actions.  I was unkind to them in my thoughts (although I don't think anything was published), as I thought I was defending Brian, as his friend.  On the other hand, they were unkind to me, although they never knew me, and I dont' blame them, maybe they thought the same.  It was an overwhelming time.  We were all not just young, but I think no one can understand the immensity of fame, and what it demands.  It's a very tall mountain.

The truth is, many people have loved Brian and the Boys.  It was a tall task for us, and many of us failed.  Imagine what a tall task it was for them, really living it...Jeez!

So, when you talk about them, do it with the love that the music conveys.  They deserve it.  And when you talk about everyone around them, look at the love in their eyes these days (like his band, family and friends), and know that we all have treasured them and loved them wholeheartedly over the years, in our own ways.  David Leaf, certainly, Ed Roach, sure, among the people I knew well, as well as many of Brian's current friends who truly love him, whom I won't mention without permission.  If you could have seen his band, Van Dyke Parks, and his loving friends after the first performance of "Smile" in London (pretty much all in joyous tears), you couldn't miss it.  If you had seen Paul McCartney and his band crying at the "Smile" presentation a few days later, you also couldn't have missed it, along with George Martin, and many others.

With all the silly daily drama, how bad can that be?  All I have to say is, just look at the Wilsons' kids, Carnie, Wendy, Dari, Delaney, Dylan (sorry, I don't know the new baby's name), Scott, Jennifer, Carl B., Michael, Gage, Justyn and Jonah  (sorry I don't know Mike and Al's kids as well, so can't comment)...and the joy of the songs, what other legacy do you need?...Clearly, there ws a lot of love.

Debbie

Great post Debbie:) Thanks so much for being here! Hope to see more of your posts:)

[Andrew G. Doe]

I work on the principle that everything I post here gets back to the 'interested parties'.

And it does. 

It's a wonder Melinda will still speak to you

She doesn't.

[The Heartical Don]

Something that must be noted here is that the Brian section of The Dark Stuff is significantly different from the articles he wrote in 1975.

Hi Andrew -

care to elaborate a bit? Was the book version more sensationalist than the original series? Or vice versa?

[Andrew G. Doe]

Something that must be noted here is that the Brian section of The Dark Stuff is significantly different from the articles he wrote in 1975.

Hi Andrew -

care to elaborate a bit? Was the book version more sensationalist than the original series? Or vice versa?

The original 3-part, 30,000 word series was less sensationalist and, of course, only covered the years 1961-1974. For better or worse, these articles were the one single impetus that propelled me into the Wacky World of Wilson. I used to defend Kent, until I discovered he'd used material from the Vosse Fusion article as his own, and had misrepresented most if not all of the people he'd interviewed.

The Dark Stuff comprises 1) - a condensed rewrite of his 1975 piece: 2) - a slightly revised version of his 1980 NME article/interview that Debbie referred to in her original post (revised mainly to make him look less dumb at mis-identifying her as Diane): and 3) - a (then) recent interview that he at least credits to its original source. I find the original piece by far the better of the two.

[The Heartical Don]

Something that must be noted here is that the Brian section of The Dark Stuff is significantly different from the articles he wrote in 1975.

Hi Andrew -

care to elaborate a bit? Was the book version more sensationalist than the original series? Or vice versa?

The original 3-part, 30,000 word series was less sensationalist and, of course, only covered the years 1961-1974. For better or worse, these articles were the one single impetus that propelled me into the Wacky World of Wilson. I used to defend Kent, until I discovered he'd used material from the Vosse Fusion article as his own, and had misrepresented most if not all of the people he'd interviewed.

The Dark Stuff comprises 1) - a condensed rewrite of his 1975 piece: 2) - a slightly revised version of his 1980 NME article/interview that Debbie referred to in her original post (revised mainly to make him look less dumb at mis-identifying her as Diane): and 3) - a (then) recent interview that he at least credits to its original source. I find the original piece by far the better of the two.

Thanks AGD! I like this type of info. Way back Kent introduced me to the world of bands like Television, and many other new wave acts that have stood the test of time. When I bought The Dark Stuff, much later, I did not really recognize his writing style that well. This clears it up a bit.

[TdHabib]

I work on the principle that everything I post here gets back to the 'interested parties'.

And it does. 

It's a wonder Melinda will still speak to you

She doesn't.

Sorry, I thought you two were OK. Is this recent, if you don't mind me asking?

[Andrew G. Doe]

I work on the principle that everything I post here gets back to the 'interested parties'.

And it does. 

It's a wonder Melinda will still speak to you

She doesn't.

Sorry, I thought you two were OK. Is this recent, if you don't mind me asking?

Well... I'm assuming that since she requested (via the Bloo admin) that I don't post on Brian's board any more, I'm off the Christmas card list. Seems to have a problem with historical facts.