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Author Topic: Nuts hurt my tummy  (Read 3806 times)
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sofonanm
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« on: March 28, 2009, 04:55:37 PM »

Ever since the other week when I ate a tin of Planters Lightly Salted Cashews in about two days I've had trouble with my stomach or one of those digestive organs, intestines and the other wormy things inside the bag of skin.

I think it was just constipation - like the cashews couldn't be digested properly in bulk and hung around far too long and caused lots of pain.

So I stopped eating nuts for a few days, which is right about the time there were no other snacks as well, so it was just three small meals a day for a week or two.

Today I had half a pack of Girl Scout Thin Mints after breakfast (I wake up at 1pm) and could see things were heading downhill.

An hour later, I had four smoked almonds from a dollar pack and I'm feeling the hurtin' bad. Same sensations, "Why did you send these down the hole? We don't process these, goddamnit!"

It's terrible too because I love nuts.

How are you with nuts?
Do they ever make you constipated?
Remedies?

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« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2009, 07:07:51 PM »

Oh wow.
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sofonanm
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« Reply #2 on: March 28, 2009, 07:09:48 PM »

Also, I was just about to watch and interview with Wilson, Brian and the interviewer gave a quick summary of the history and said, "Brother Dennis drowned" and I thought, "Kinda funny that a Beach Boys known for being a surfer drowned, ain't it?"

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Jason
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« Reply #3 on: March 28, 2009, 09:13:48 PM »

Nuts give me wet farts.
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The Heartical Don
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« Reply #4 on: March 29, 2009, 07:14:14 AM »

Nuts give me wet farts.

I see no problem in a big wet fart. Nor in a big fat wart. Both can be the result of eating nuts. One may see one's nuts as two big fat warts.
A big wet fart is of the type that goes 'undiscovered'. It's the funniest prank possible in a restaurant. No one dares to accuse another for having produced it. It can destroy the finest meals effortlessly.

But: look out if you're letting one rip, and you are wearing squeaky clean white shorts. Then you will have to mind the pressure you create very carefully. That's all.
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Jason
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« Reply #5 on: March 29, 2009, 11:12:28 AM »

Don, you should start a farting thread on here. I'd post in it. Smiley
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lance
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« Reply #6 on: March 29, 2009, 11:56:11 AM »

I thought this thread was going to be about Rod Stewart.
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SloopJohnB
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« Reply #7 on: March 29, 2009, 12:02:03 PM »

I dig this thread.
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sofonanm
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« Reply #8 on: March 29, 2009, 12:37:39 PM »

o hai guise

So from midnight until 7am I had an INTENSE stomach ache. I assume it did not stop at seven - that was just the last time I was awoken from the pain of it after having gone to sleep at 5am. It still hurts now - 3:30pm following day. All I've had is some tea since waking up.

All I had was a few snacks last night before midnight. Got hell in return.

Well, I'm never overeating again. Although I didn't even overeat! I see people eating so much more all the time and they're fine. And I'm not swallowing any food anymore until I've cow-ground it up into a liquidated mush that couldn't possibly have any difficulties passing through the maze.

Such pain, I would have preferred death. I was laying on my bed feeling as weak as a dead fly, and then my cat kept coming and wanting to sit on my stomach. What a bitch. Like actually struggling to get on my stomach. She does that when I lay on the bed, likes to just sit on me.

I'm kind of afraid that I might have some sort of IBS developing. There's no way I can deal with these tummy aches (Mommmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy) on a daily basis. I'll start doing heroin like Kurt Cobain to sooth the pain. I'll even date Courtney Love.   Shocked
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SloopJohnB
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« Reply #9 on: April 01, 2009, 11:54:44 AM »

You're nuts.




























 Drumroll
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The Heartical Don
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« Reply #10 on: April 02, 2009, 12:29:09 AM »

Did I mention that heavily peppered nuts can cause a ring of fire?
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carlydenise
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« Reply #11 on: April 02, 2009, 05:38:53 AM »

You must have gotten some old nuts......
Nasty nuts can wreck havok.....one must inspect their nuts, make sure they are not moldy or out of date.   and too much nut eating is not good on the system either....always remember, life is too short, make sure your nuts are good nuts.... Shocked


Hope you get to feeling better, it sounds to me like you got a case of norovirus.
« Last Edit: April 02, 2009, 05:39:56 AM by carlydenise » Logged

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lance
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« Reply #12 on: April 02, 2009, 08:04:33 AM »

For the record, I do not think that heroin did anything for cobains pain. I had a toothache once and I shot heroin to kill the pain, and all it make me f***ed up with a toothache.
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The Heartical Don
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« Reply #13 on: April 02, 2009, 12:12:34 PM »

For the record, I do not think that heroin did anything for cobains pain. I had a toothache once and I shot heroin to kill the pain, and all it make me foda up with a toothache.

At least you did offer a tiny fraction of that horse to your children, I hope?
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sofonanm
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« Reply #14 on: April 02, 2009, 03:36:27 PM »

The pain left after a few days.

BUT!!!

I just had another nut.  Smokin

Just one though, so hopefully things should be OK.
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lance
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« Reply #15 on: April 10, 2009, 07:04:26 AM »

For the record, I do not think that heroin did anything for cobains pain. I had a toothache once and I shot heroin to kill the pain, and all it make me foda up with a toothache.

At least you did offer a tiny fraction of that horse to your children, I hope?
Made 'em pay. No freebies in life, I'm trying to teach them that.
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