New Song: Pick Up The Stars

[Too Much Sugar]

After writing what I felt were rather slow and dull songs, I decided to take the risk and try writing a rock song. Nothing hard rock, but more pop/rock, I suppose. I never really branched into rock in general because I never felt I could do it, so this is really nothing more than an attempt to write a "single," if you will. Of course, it still sounds nothing like a rock song, but, nonetheless, it's still a very basic demo, and the lyrics will be replaced, as it's nothing more than me making stuff up (I don't even know what the title means), and the vocals will definitely be redone (and vocals like mine should not be singing a rock track, even I know that), but this is just a basic start with me doing everything that you hear on the track. So why post it? Well, I am definitely curious on feedback about the song itself. Is it good, is it horrible, does it have potential? If so, what would you do?

Thoughts are greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Edit:  http://www.icompositions.com/music/song.php?sid=103443

[the captain]

This link leads to a "Delete File" option, not a download.

[Too Much Sugar]

Oh geez, I didn't even catch that.  Thanks for that, Luther.  Updated the link. 

[the captain]

Nice enough song, and I think you're wrong when you say voices like yours ought not do rock songs. If it's a good enough kind of voice for Paul McCartney or Emmitt Rhodes, I'd say you can do it, too. For my personal taste, the intro in particular is a bit longer than I like--I just prefer to get into the meat. I also don't like the sound of the acoustic guitar in the left channel and think the drums are a bit overbearing, both in the mix and in terms of doing what feels like a fill every time there's any space. But I love the dirty guitar sound, and the "and when she goes..." bit that first happens at around 1/3 to 1/2 way through is nice--I like the guitar moving to that sort of bass-like riff (reminds me of late Beatles). The slower part right after that is also cool.

[matt-zeus]

Nice. The drums in particular give it a Beatles flavour (Something like 'I'm so tired'? or other White album stuff) but there are other Beatles references coming through too.  I like it when the echoey vocal bit comes in, there's a lot of good stuff packed in the song and with a more slightly honed production you would have a good pop-rock record. Good work!