Did Brian really say that?

[Luna]

Hello everyone.

I have been a daily reader of this board for the past two years, but haven’t registered until now. I’m always a bit intimidated when it comes to talking to new people, even on the internet (I guess my social-anxiety is present online as well), so I have been putting it off for a while. I want to thank you all, though, for having provided me with hours and hours of interesting reads. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stayed up WAY past my bedtime because I just HAD to finish reading a thread. You all have so interesting, well-informed opinions on Brian and the boys, and I feel like I have learned more about them here, than I have from reading any book on them.

That said, I have a burning question, and I couldn’t think of a better place to turn. I hope that’s okay.

I was looking at the Blueboard yesterday, and followed a link someone posted to a Google-Group called “Diamond Headz”. I'm very interested in knowing more about Marilyn Wilson, so I always search for her name first on Beach Boys-related messageboards. Anyway, I stumbled upon a thread where one person asked whether she and Brian still kept in touch, and someone said that he highly doubted it, and that, years ago in an interview, when Brian was asked what his biggest regret in life was, he said “Marrying my first wife.”

I have never heard of Brian saying anything disloyal about Marilyn before (but I could be wrong of course), so I was shocked to hear that he has said something like that. What I would like to know from you, is whether any of you have ever read/seen the interview where he supposedly said that, and whether he elaborated on it? Also, if he actually said that, when did the interview take place? I mean, what year?

If he did say that, I have to say that I’m slightly appalled by it. Maybe because I would imagine it would be pretty crushing for both Marilyn and the kids to read something like that, especially considering all the stuff I would think he would regret.

I know that Brian has a tendency of saying something different in every interview, but still, that was a low blow (if he did in fact say that).

Okay, I suppose that was it. I’m looking forward to reading your responses

[MBE]

They are friends, I never heard him say anything like that. She may be one of the only ones who ever loved him for him.

[SG7]

Welcome Luna!

Not quite sure if that is true. However, issues with his current wife have been well documented, so who knows?

[Shady]

Welcome Luna!

Not quite sure if that is true. However, issues with his current wife have been well documented, so who knows?

Issues with his current wife?? jeez would love to hear more bout that.

Anyway something in me doubts Brian ever said that, and if he did he never meant it.

[MBE]

Well one that I can talk about because Brian did himself is that Cry was inspired by Brian wanting a seperation and Melinda crying.

[Luna]

Thank you very much for your replies

They are friends, I never heard him say anything like that. She may be one of the only ones who ever loved him for him.

That is what I have always thought as well. She talks so lovingly about him in documentaries, and I just always got the feeling that they kept it very civil and respectful. That's why I was so shocked when I read that supposed "quote", because it just seemed so unlike Brian and out of the blue.

Welcome Luna!

Not quite sure if that is true. However, issues with his current wife have been well documented, so who knows?

Thank you very much And you're right, I just really hope it's not true. Maybe it's silly of me to care so much about something like that, but I guess I have a very soft spot for Marilyn and everything she went through.

Welcome Luna!

Not quite sure if that is true. However, issues with his current wife have been well documented, so who knows?

Issues with his current wife?? jeez would love to hear more bout that.

Anyway something in me doubts Brian ever said that, and if he did he never meant it.

I don't think he would say something like that, either. Unless it was said during the Landy years.

[BiNNS]

When interviewed on the Larry King show back in 2004, Larry basically asked Brian if he was ever unfaithful to Marylin, when it came to the temptation of groupies on the road during the Beach Boys heyday. Brian replied, "No, i loved her". He sounded and looked very sincere with his statement.
From everything i've read and seen on Marylin, i feel that she is a genuine woman who truly cared about Brian's happiness.
Unlike a lot of people around Brian, i don't think she cared at all that he was Brian Wilson - the musical genius/big money maker. That's just the vibe i get from her.

[Luna]

When interviewed on the Larry King show back in 2004, Larry basically asked Brian if he was ever unfaithful to Marylin, when it came to the temptation of groupies on the road during the Beach Boys heyday. Brian replied, "No, i loved her". He sounded and looked very sincere with his statement.
From everything i've read and seen on Marylin, i feel that she is a genuine woman who truly cared about Brian's happiness.
Unlike a lot of people around Brian, i don't think she cared at all that he was Brian Wilson - the musical genius/big money maker. That's just the vibe i get from her.

I read the transcript from that interview, and was so impressed with what Brian said when Melinda took that cheap shot at Marilyn. I also remember the quote you mentioned, and thought that sounded very genuine as well, very Brian. I also completely agree with your perception of Marilyn - she seems like a very special woman, who loved and cared about Brian on a very deep level, and still does. I can't fathom those who feel that she didn't do enough for him - I can't imagine what it must've been like for her.

[Sheriff John Stone]

I was always surprised that Marilyn and Brian divorced. I'm not downplaying any of the circumstances - I'm sure they were quite serious. Just surprised that they didn't hang in there longer, after everything that they went through at such a young age. Not judging, though....I guess a person can only take so much.

[Amy B.]

Yeah, I get the sense that they still have love for each other. Apparently Brian still calls Marilyn on occasion. I suppose he still sees her as one of the safe people he can count on for support. She seems unbelievably normal, considering all that she's been through. Although Carnie isn't nearly as unstable as Brian, she seems to share some of his traits, and Marilyn seems to offer similar support.

In terms of Melinda's "cheap shot," I can see the issue from both sides. Melinda, Brian's current wife, who must deal with Brian's issues every day, is exasperated, wondering why no one thought to take Brian to the psych department at UCLA, which was so close by. On the other hand, Marilyn was so young and had a lot to deal with, including Brian, who was a lot more "with it" and able to slither away than he probably is now. 

So I don't really take sides here. Clearly Marilyn and Melinda have very different personalities, but both have tried to give Brian support in their own way... Marilyn is a nurturer and seems pretty laid back, while Melinda encourages Brian to get moving.  Both are sort of maternal in their love for him.

[37!ws]

Brian says a lot of things that might mean one thing but they come out sounding kind of weird...I don't think Brian truly regrets marrying Marilyn; I think he might have thought that in retrospect, it was kind of a bad idea because Marilyn was only 16 years old at the time, and he pretty much nagged her into marrying him because of his insecurities.

And when Larry King was talking about Smile, he asked Brian, "What was missing all those years [that kept you from finishing it]?" And Brian's response was, "A third movement." I think he took the question literally, and just answered in the most literal way possible....know what I mean???

And regarding the UCLA thing....I never interpreted that as a cheap shot, but just a difference in thinking. In the '70s, you just didn't send your celebrity family to something public -- that could be bad publicity! So you have to find some kind of whacky indy guy...know what I'm sayin'?

[joe_blow]

Why does Marilyn still keep the Wilson last name?

[Jason]

When interviewed on the Larry King show back in 2004, Larry basically asked Brian if he was ever unfaithful to Marylin, when it came to the temptation of groupies on the road during the Beach Boys heyday. Brian replied, "No, i loved her".

How things change ten years later.

[Amy B.]

Why does Marilyn still keep the Wilson last name?

That always struck me as odd too. She goes by Marilyn Wilson-Rutherford, so she's got the names of both of her husbands!  Maybe it's because professionally (as a singer) she was known as Marilyn Wilson, so she wanted it to be recognizable. Or maybe it's because she's proud of her association with the Wilson family.

I'm just speculating. I'm sure others know more than I do.

[Amy B.]

Here's the thing that I still don't get, and I've brought this up before. Did Marilyn ever really acknowledge the role mental illness played in Brian's life, or did she always mostly attribute his decline to drugs?  The reason I wonder is because of answers like this, from a Kingsley Abbot interview:

Q: In retrospect, do you think Brian could have coped, or been helped to cope with the pressures that came from success?

A: I think Brian would have been able to cope, if it were not for drugs. Anyone who knew Brian, pre-drugs, saw an eccentric, talented, beautiful, sensitive person, who made them laugh, and feel good. He was a beautiful human being.

[Wilsonista]

Like  everyone else in the family, she  blames it all on  the drugs. That's obviously another difference of opinion between Marilyn and Melinda.

[Luna]

Brian says a lot of things that might mean one thing but they come out sounding kind of weird...I don't think Brian truly regrets marrying Marilyn; I think he might have thought that in retrospect, it was kind of a bad idea because Marilyn was only 16 years old at the time, and he pretty much nagged her into marrying him because of his insecurities.

And when Larry King was talking about Smile, he asked Brian, "What was missing all those years [that kept you from finishing it]?" And Brian's response was, "A third movement." I think he took the question literally, and just answered in the most literal way possible....know what I mean???

And regarding the UCLA thing....I never interpreted that as a cheap shot, but just a difference in thinking. In the '70s, you just didn't send your celebrity family to something public -- that could be bad publicity! So you have to find some kind of whacky indy guy...know what I'm sayin'?

Oh yes, I completely understand what you're saying, and I guess that's what you have to take into consideration with every interview Brian does. He says what he's thinking right at that moment, and his answer to one question would most likely be different five minutes later. You're very right. As for the cheap shot, I suppose I just feel like it was... unnecessary for her to say what she did, the way she did. It was obvious what she was trying to say, to me at least, and it wasn't really very flattering to Marilyn at all, at least to me, but perhaps I'm just interpreting it wrong. That very well could be

Yeah, I get the sense that they still have love for each other. Apparently Brian still calls Marilyn on occasion. I suppose he still sees her as one of the safe people he can count on for support. She seems unbelievably normal, considering all that she's been through. Although Carnie isn't nearly as unstable as Brian, she seems to share some of his traits, and Marilyn seems to offer similar support.

In terms of Melinda's "cheap shot," I can see the issue from both sides. Melinda, Brian's current wife, who must deal with Brian's issues every day, is exasperated, wondering why no one thought to take Brian to the psych department at UCLA, which was so close by. On the other hand, Marilyn was so young and had a lot to deal with, including Brian, who was a lot more "with it" and able to slither away than he probably is now. 

So I don't really take sides here. Clearly Marilyn and Melinda have very different personalities, but both have tried to give Brian support in their own way... Marilyn is a nurturer and seems pretty laid back, while Melinda encourages Brian to get moving.  Both are sort of maternal in their love for him.

I think it's so nice to hear that they are still in touch. I couldn't imagine being married to someone for fourteen years and then cutting all ties like that.

I think the reason why I use the term "cheap shot", is because I just find it very easy for Melinda to criticise what Marilyn did and did not do when she wasn't around to experience Brian as he was back then. I respect both of Brian's wives for what they have had to go through, and I would just think that Melinda would be more... I guess, understanding, in terms of what it must've been like for Marilyn and what a tremendous responsibility it must've been.

To be honest, and this is just something I have thought of, but doesn't Melinda have a much bigger support-system, in terms of taking care of Brian and his needs, than Marilyn did? I'm sure that the people who were in Brian's life back in the day tried to help, but I would think they knew a lot less about mental illness in the 1960s and 1970s,  than they do now. Brian has been properly diagnosed now, and is on the right medication, and while he's still not well, he's not a 35-year old drug-addict on top of that, either. I guess I just feel that Melinda had more of a sense of what she was getting into when she chose to marry Brian, than Marilyn did, and that alone gave her an advantage. It's very easy to have a 20/20 hindsight on somebody else's behalf, especially when Melinda is being presented now as being Brian's saving grace, the love and support he never had, the wife who made him finish SMiLE, etc. I don't know, I have a lot of respect for both of the women, but I still feel like Melinda took a cheap shot by mentioning what she did. That's just my opinion, though

[Luna]

Why does Marilyn still keep the Wilson last name?

I have never really thought anything of that, to be honest. They were married for so long, and I know many women who get divorced and never choose to change their last names back (or to something different). I think what is peculiar is that Marilyn chose to keep it even after she got re-married, but then again, I guess I feel like she earned the right to that last name, you know? Plus, it probably felt natural to her to keep it, as when she got re-married, she had been Marilyn Wilson for 36 years. I would even guess that perhaps it felt more natural and right than Marilyn Rovell-Rutherford.

[Jay]

Not to change the initial  subject of this thread, but I have a sneaky suspicion that Brian and Marilyn may still love each other. Or may possibly still be "in love". Now, here me out on this. Brian and Marilyn's romantic relationship never really ended in a mutual way. By 1977/1978, Brian was getting sicker and sicker, and Marilyn pretty much was left alone by herself. Then Brian suddenly ended their marriage.  I don't mean to speak bad about Brian. His illness was probably more at fault than HE actually was. It wasn't untill the early 1980's that Brian had a truly clear head for the first time in almost a decade. I have a strange feeling that he may somehow, deep down inside, regret  wanting a divorce from Marilyn.

[MBE]

Brian says a lot of things that might mean one thing but they come out sounding kind of weird...I don't think Brian truly regrets marrying Marilyn; I think he might have thought that in retrospect, it was kind of a bad idea because Marilyn was only 16 years old at the time, and he pretty much nagged her into marrying him because of his insecurities.

And when Larry King was talking about Smile, he asked Brian, "What was missing all those years [that kept you from finishing it]?" And Brian's response was, "A third movement." I think he took the question literally, and just answered in the most literal way possible....know what I mean???

And regarding the UCLA thing....I never interpreted that as a cheap shot, but just a difference in thinking. In the '70s, you just didn't send your celebrity family to something public -- that could be bad publicity! So you have to find some kind of whacky indy guy...know what I'm sayin'?

Oh yes, I completely understand what you're saying, and I guess that's what you have to take into consideration with every interview Brian does. He says what he's thinking right at that moment, and his answer to one question would most likely be different five minutes later. You're very right. As for the cheap shot, I suppose I just feel like it was... unnecessary for her to say what she did, the way she did. It was obvious what she was trying to say, to me at least, and it wasn't really very flattering to Marilyn at all, at least to me, but perhaps I'm just interpreting it wrong. That very well could be

Yeah, I get the sense that they still have love for each other. Apparently Brian still calls Marilyn on occasion. I suppose he still sees her as one of the safe people he can count on for support. She seems unbelievably normal, considering all that she's been through. Although Carnie isn't nearly as unstable as Brian, she seems to share some of his traits, and Marilyn seems to offer similar support.

In terms of Melinda's "cheap shot," I can see the issue from both sides. Melinda, Brian's current wife, who must deal with Brian's issues every day, is exasperated, wondering why no one thought to take Brian to the psych department at UCLA, which was so close by. On the other hand, Marilyn was so young and had a lot to deal with, including Brian, who was a lot more "with it" and able to slither away than he probably is now. 

So I don't really take sides here. Clearly Marilyn and Melinda have very different personalities, but both have tried to give Brian support in their own way... Marilyn is a nurturer and seems pretty laid back, while Melinda encourages Brian to get moving.  Both are sort of maternal in their love for him.

I think it's so nice to hear that they are still in touch. I couldn't imagine being married to someone for fourteen years and then cutting all ties like that.

I think the reason why I use the term "cheap shot", is because I just find it very easy for Melinda to criticise what Marilyn did and did not do when she wasn't around to experience Brian as he was back then. I respect both of Brian's wives for what they have had to go through, and I would just think that Melinda would be more... I guess, understanding, in terms of what it must've been like for Marilyn and what a tremendous responsibility it must've been.

To be honest, and this is just something I have thought of, but doesn't Melinda have a much bigger support-system, in terms of taking care of Brian and his needs, than Marilyn did? I'm sure that the people who were in Brian's life back in the day tried to help, but I would think they knew a lot less about mental illness in the 1960s and 1970s,  than they do now. Brian has been properly diagnosed now, and is on the right medication, and while he's still not well, he's not a 35-year old drug-addict on top of that, either. I guess I just feel that Melinda had more of a sense of what she was getting into when she chose to marry Brian, than Marilyn did, and that alone gave her an advantage. It's very easy to have a 20/20 hindsight on somebody else's behalf, especially when Melinda is being presented now as being Brian's saving grace, the love and support he never had, the wife who made him finish SMiLE, etc. I don't know, I have a lot of respect for both of the women, but I still feel like Melinda took a cheap shot by mentioning what she did. That's just my opinion, though

Melinda is getting too much credit here. I don't like her on any level and I am sorry to say that. I really wish I could say different.

[Jay]

I have an almost violent hatred of the woman, so don't feel bad MBE. 

[♩♬🐸 Billy C ♯♫♩🐇]

Thirded.

[Luna]

Brian says a lot of things that might mean one thing but they come out sounding kind of weird...I don't think Brian truly regrets marrying Marilyn; I think he might have thought that in retrospect, it was kind of a bad idea because Marilyn was only 16 years old at the time, and he pretty much nagged her into marrying him because of his insecurities.

And when Larry King was talking about Smile, he asked Brian, "What was missing all those years [that kept you from finishing it]?" And Brian's response was, "A third movement." I think he took the question literally, and just answered in the most literal way possible....know what I mean???

And regarding the UCLA thing....I never interpreted that as a cheap shot, but just a difference in thinking. In the '70s, you just didn't send your celebrity family to something public -- that could be bad publicity! So you have to find some kind of whacky indy guy...know what I'm sayin'?

Oh yes, I completely understand what you're saying, and I guess that's what you have to take into consideration with every interview Brian does. He says what he's thinking right at that moment, and his answer to one question would most likely be different five minutes later. You're very right. As for the cheap shot, I suppose I just feel like it was... unnecessary for her to say what she did, the way she did. It was obvious what she was trying to say, to me at least, and it wasn't really very flattering to Marilyn at all, at least to me, but perhaps I'm just interpreting it wrong. That very well could be

Yeah, I get the sense that they still have love for each other. Apparently Brian still calls Marilyn on occasion. I suppose he still sees her as one of the safe people he can count on for support. She seems unbelievably normal, considering all that she's been through. Although Carnie isn't nearly as unstable as Brian, she seems to share some of his traits, and Marilyn seems to offer similar support.

In terms of Melinda's "cheap shot," I can see the issue from both sides. Melinda, Brian's current wife, who must deal with Brian's issues every day, is exasperated, wondering why no one thought to take Brian to the psych department at UCLA, which was so close by. On the other hand, Marilyn was so young and had a lot to deal with, including Brian, who was a lot more "with it" and able to slither away than he probably is now. 

So I don't really take sides here. Clearly Marilyn and Melinda have very different personalities, but both have tried to give Brian support in their own way... Marilyn is a nurturer and seems pretty laid back, while Melinda encourages Brian to get moving.  Both are sort of maternal in their love for him.

I think it's so nice to hear that they are still in touch. I couldn't imagine being married to someone for fourteen years and then cutting all ties like that.

I think the reason why I use the term "cheap shot", is because I just find it very easy for Melinda to criticise what Marilyn did and did not do when she wasn't around to experience Brian as he was back then. I respect both of Brian's wives for what they have had to go through, and I would just think that Melinda would be more... I guess, understanding, in terms of what it must've been like for Marilyn and what a tremendous responsibility it must've been.

To be honest, and this is just something I have thought of, but doesn't Melinda have a much bigger support-system, in terms of taking care of Brian and his needs, than Marilyn did? I'm sure that the people who were in Brian's life back in the day tried to help, but I would think they knew a lot less about mental illness in the 1960s and 1970s,  than they do now. Brian has been properly diagnosed now, and is on the right medication, and while he's still not well, he's not a 35-year old drug-addict on top of that, either. I guess I just feel that Melinda had more of a sense of what she was getting into when she chose to marry Brian, than Marilyn did, and that alone gave her an advantage. It's very easy to have a 20/20 hindsight on somebody else's behalf, especially when Melinda is being presented now as being Brian's saving grace, the love and support he never had, the wife who made him finish SMiLE, etc. I don't know, I have a lot of respect for both of the women, but I still feel like Melinda took a cheap shot by mentioning what she did. That's just my opinion, though

Melinda is getting too much credit here. I don't like her on any level and I am sorry to say that. I really wish I could say different.

Well, I don't give her a lot of credit, so if it came off that way, that wasn't intended at all. When I say I respect her, it's more like a... I respect the fact that she, at least by what we get to see (I know others get to see other things), seems to take care of Brian, and Brian seems to feel safe with her (then again, didn't he also end up feeling safe with Landy?). I have respect for both of Brian's wives on that level, although I have more respect for Marilyn (and I also like her a lot more, but that's another story). I'm not a Melinda fan by any means.

I don't have the same insider-information as others have, although I have heard the rumors, and if those are true, then obviously that respect is gone. When I said that she is being presented as his saving grace, etc, then I meant that every single article and interview seems to make a big point out of mentioning Melinda, his new adopted children, and how everything came together and became wonderful solely because of his new family. Even SMiLE seemed to become a family project, or at least the SMiLE book that I got after a concert I attended last year had a lot of mentions of his kids and Melinda. There was even one of Daria's drawings in there, which could've been Brian's idea, I guess, but I doubt it.

So, yes, sorry about that. I guess I should've made that more clear, but I wanted to try to keep my post before Melinda-bashing-free

[Luna]

Not to change the initial  subject of this thread, but I have a sneaky suspicion that Brian and Marilyn may still love each other. Or may possibly still be "in love". Now, here me out on this. Brian and Marilyn's romantic relationship never really ended in a mutual way. By 1977/1978, Brian was getting sicker and sicker, and Marilyn pretty much was left alone by herself. Then Brian suddenly ended their marriage.  I don't mean to speak bad about Brian. His illness was probably more at fault than HE actually was. It wasn't untill the early 1980's that Brian had a truly clear head for the first time in almost a decade. I have a strange feeling that he may somehow, deep down inside, regret  wanting a divorce from Marilyn.

That's a very interesting theory, and a theory that I like. I guess that's just the hopeless romantic in me, though. It seems like Brian and Marilyn had something very special, and it's really a shame that they had so few good years together. Who knows what would have happened if things hadn't taken the turn they did. That's something I think about sometimes, although I guess we'll never know. But it's interesting to speculate

[♩♬🐸 Billy C ♯♫♩🐇]

One of the funniest, and possibly most telling, things I have read/heard is a quote from Brian about his marriage. The interviewer was asking about the emotional security that Melinda provides Brian, and he up and went and said something about how they never have sex. A little too much information, you know. I took that as Brian being Brian, until he said the same thing in other interviews/articles, and I think the USA Today piece on Imagination was one of them. What I found funny about it is that he inserted that little tidbit in the middle of a conversation about something else, kind of like " I'm happy now. Real emotionally secure. The sex thing, not so much. I'm really excited about my new album," or something to that effect. For some reason it reminded me of that part in the Wilson Project book where he said "I farted" in the middle of talking about something else and continued the conversation like he never even said that.