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659408 Posts in 26418 Topics by 3756 Members - Latest Member: My Smile Solution July 08, 2020, 03:44:49 AM
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Author Topic: New demo - Before I Move Along  (Read 2370 times)
Aegir
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« on: January 20, 2008, 03:21:26 AM »

www.myspace.com/sloppyhorse

I'm the only person on the recording - guitars, vocal, maracas, and waterbottle-percussion all me. I wrote the music and our keyboardist's mother wrote the lyrics. I quickly recorded this in about a half hour (left in all the microphone errors), and my lead guitar skills are HORRIBLE. But it's what it is.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2008, 03:22:59 AM by Aegir » Logged

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Aegir
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« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2008, 03:55:22 PM »

You know the old saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all,"? IGNORE IT! I want honest feedback here.
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the captain
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« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2008, 04:41:57 PM »

I think it's in too low a key for your voice--it sounds like you're struggling, especially in the verses. If you were to transpose it up some, that part may sound better, and the parts that you're going up for might give you reason to really reach (if it's out of your comfortable range on the high end), which can actually be a cool effect, especially as the tension is building there anyway.

I like the lead guitar, especially when I wasn't sure what I was hearing, maybe around the 1:00 mark, when just the one note would pop out as noticeable, not prominent in the mix.

As for the song itself, I think it's all right. I like the change in texture, as it opens very sparse, builds, and almost rocks at around 2:15 (I think it was). A fully realized recording could include some nice arrangements with that kind of song.


EDIT: PS, I am a big proponent of the Honest Feedback and Comment Club. I think we have a great opportunity here to hear from other musicians--some pro, some semi-pro, some hobbyists, some beginners--and take those opinions from people other than our bandmates and friends into consideration. While I understand not wanting to be hurt or pissed off, or wanting to hurt or piss off anyone else, I think the greater good we could get if everyone put some thought into each other's work would be worth it. I'd LOVE to have ongoing conversations with people about my and their songs. So consider this an open invitation to anyone who wants to check my recent posts, or just jump to www.myspace.com/thebeaumondes to listen, and then to comment. I'm not looking for "hey, that's cool," as much as "You might not want to overdub so many vocal harmonies--it's getting annoying," or "I'd get rid of that organ sound...it doesn't sound like a Hammond so much as a Casio." (OK, maybe a little nicer phrasing...)
« Last Edit: January 20, 2008, 04:46:12 PM by Luther » Logged

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Aegir
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« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2008, 05:14:37 PM »

I think it's in too low a key for your voice--it sounds like you're struggling, especially in the verses. If you were to transpose it up some, that part may sound better, and the parts that you're going up for might give you reason to really reach (if it's out of your comfortable range on the high end), which can actually be a cool effect, especially as the tension is building there anyway.

So you're saying that I'm actually singing better on the chorus? That's weird, I figured I would get comments saying I should stick to the way I was singing on the verses. In fact, I was even planning on recording a version where I'm singing that way throughout the entire song because I figured my chorus-singing was ridiculous. If I decide to do it with my band, it'll probably have two lead singers, one for the chorus, one for the verse, and I was planning that I would sing the verse. You really think the chorus sounds better? I'm singing completely from my head there -- if I raised the key I wouldn't be able to sing the chorus very well at all.
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the captain
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« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2008, 05:59:33 PM »

Yep, I think it would suit you better say, a whole step up. The lower register stuff sounds unnatural for you.

And I think you can nail the refrain (segment at approx 1:00, 1:50, etc) with more power. It sounds like you're reaching, but not with all you've got (The sound of someone trying to strain for notes while being afraid of being heard through open windows, or in the next apartment.), almost as if you were ashamed you were recording a song. I know your voice might crack some on it if it were higher, but I think you can minimize that ... and even if it does a little, it could be to good effect. (Or as you said, another singer might work for it.)
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« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2008, 03:13:22 AM »

I agree with Luther in that it sounds a bit low, but then because it goes up at the chorus I suppose it could be stretching your top end. I would put the key somewhere so you could sing in the middle of those two registers then harmonise on the chorus to get the 'lift' that you want. I like the song though, and the guitar solo.
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Aegir
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« Reply #6 on: January 31, 2008, 05:52:35 AM »

I played this at open mic last night at it went over pretty well. I didn't have to strain as much to hit the high parts because I didn't have to be as loud. I guess you were right Luther, I was subconciously holding myself back because of the volume issue.
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the captain
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« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2008, 01:31:17 PM »

I was subconciously holding myself back because of the volume issue.

I was in high school when a musical theater director gave me the tip. All of a sudden, notes that were tough for me in full voice in choir--say, anything a high G or above on the treble clef--was pretty easy up to about a B or so. It was a miracle.

Well, maybe not a miracle. But cool. I'm glad you got 'em.
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Demon-Fighting Genius; Patronizing Twaddler; Argumentative, Sanctimonious Prick; Sensationalist Dullard; and Douche who (occasionally to rarely) puts songs here.

No interest in your assorted grudges and nonsense.
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