Kinda makes me almost glad that these days Mike just sonically destroys our ears with covers of old songs instead of recording originals.
love that the album is demonic enough to keep playing after the stereo is shot
Hypehat's review of SIP is legendary:
Ok, so I have a half a bottle of wine in me and another to go after a steady day of drinking, and listening to Summer In Paradise seems like a fantastic idea right now. It's been so hard to live without it, so lets talk about it.
1) Hot Fun In The Summertime
DEAR JESUS THE SNARE. We will have to get used to this.
Also, "Whisperin'" Mike Love. I like to picture putting HOURS into these leads.
Carl telling me we can "Bum bum bum" is kinda flattering imo.
SAX SOLO. Those breaks make me flinch.
This thing is mixed so fucking terribly Carl's high notes vanish from the mix.
also, WHAT THE HELL IS CARL DOING. I guess given Beckley/Lamm/Wilson, it's safe to say that absolutely every vestige of Carl's taste had disappeared by this point. He might have even thought this was A GOOD IDEA.
2. Surfin'
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
f*** me, the vocals on this are absolutely terrrrrrrrrrible. NASAL DOMINATION. Carl being SHITE. Like, even his smack-addled late 70's performances have merit. This sucks.
Not to mention ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT THIS.
new lyrics. NEW LYRICS
MORE OF THEM.
I'm in pain. There are ten more songs. WHY.
3. SUMMER OF LOVE.
Mike Love, I will come round your house and make my fist meditate up your arse for this.
CHRIST ON A BICYCLE THE DJ SCRATCHES.
My Grandma has better flow than MC "Whisperin" Love.
attached and back don't rhyme, you bald apple juice chuggin goon.
4. Island Fever
These verse appear to be words in the english language. But they make no sense.
The Beach Boys' hymn to sexually transmitted diseases?
"My baby caught it and I'm not quite sure how/she might have got it from her travel brochure?" - Denny lives?
My baby can't dance or sleep because IT BURNS.
KEYCHANGE
f*** synthesisers, btw.
5. Still Surfin'
What the hell is this.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS.
The fact I've spent a lot of time editing other things during this song speaks volumes.
What the hell makes ANYONE think it's ok to drop mexican terms for women in verses. Mamacita and the like. f*** YOU, MIKE.
6. Slow Summer Dancin' (Unneccesary parentheses)
IN BOTH CORNERS, BRUCE JOHNSTON
DETAILING HOW HE'S GONNA MAKE SWEET, SWEET, SWEET LOVE TO GROUPIES.
Misheard "I'll treat my angel really nice" as "I'll treat my ANUS.....REALLY NICE!"
Al "The Songwriter" Jardine keeping up his fine, fine, tradition of contributing entirely original melodic and lyrical ideas to songs. HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT
That sax break. NO.
7. Strange Things Happen.
Ok, this is the worst thing so far.
It's something to do with the combination of SLAMMIN' MIKE LOVE JAMS and Al "Well, that never happened before!" Jardine learning about sex in 1991.
OH MY GOD. This is so so so s oo soooooo awful. I am crying with laughter.
8. Remember (Walking In The Sand)
Carl, I do love you, but when Mary Weiss dies she's going to find you in heaven and BEAT SEVEN SHADES OF CRAP OUT OF YOU FOR THIS.
"Echoing" Mike Love is also particularly ridiculous.
THE SAX SOLOS. AHSHGSHDGFXBGDGXFNJDMKYI6
GUYS I'M LOSING THE WILL TO LIVE. I HATE THIS ALBUM.
9. Lahina Aloha
Tropical beats
meaningless title
SOOOOOLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
palm trees
paradise
"Whisperin" Love
the f*** is this DRIVEL. I FEEL LIKE I'M BEING VIOLATED WITH OFFENSIVE ITEMS CARVED OUT OF JELLY OR SOMETHING. OFFENSIVE SMOOTHNESS. It's some terrible oxymoron i wouldn't believe possible if it wasn't fucking me in my ears.
THE HELL.
THREE MORE TRACKS LEFT, YOU CAN DO IT.
10. Under The Boardwalk
MIke Love, you get the f*** away from my girl.
Carl, I'm sorry, but The Drifters are also going to beat the hell out of you up there too. Possibly Carole King as well. At least they'll be tired after beating mike love to shreds. And you, Al.
ANOTHER SAXOPHONE SOLO. mo'fos.
As an aside, guys, this is one of the most awful albums in terms of production, mixing and mastering I've ever heard. IT IS THIN AS HELL.
11. SUMMER IN PARADISE.
dig that jangly fauxbyrds guitar.
THOSE 'HARMONY' VOCALS ARE CRAP. BRIAN WOULD BEAT YOU DEAD IF HE WAS IN THAT SESSION.
I think these might be EVEN WORSE LYRICS than Strange Things Happen or MC LOVE in something else.
f***, IT'S JIM MCGUINN.
that explains the guitar.
YOU BITCH, MCGUINN.
This is shite. musically, aurally, it's balls. BALLLLLLS. BIG SWEATY, HAIRY, OOZING TESTICLES. I feel ill.
12. Stamorever.
I have no more bile. I just have wine. After the systematic and calculated raping of the entire spectrum of pop music through these twelve tracks, some arsehole covering a Dennis Wilson song pales in comparison. I mean, it even has woodblocks on it, which makes it more reverent of a 'classic' bb's sound than anything on this record yet.
SEE WHAT THIS RECORD HAS DONE TO ME. I AM DEFENDING STAMOS
and with one fucking horrible sounding fake midi chord on the keyboard, that's it. The worst record I ever heard.
Many, many thanks for reposting this brilliant piece of serious reviewing! I just read it for the first time. Now comes the small print: