Brian And Dennis' Relationship

[Rick5150]

What was that relationship like? How did Brian really feel about Dennis? As his brother, I know that he loved him and he certainly respected his musical output. I noticed in some interviews since Carl's passing when the interviewer asks about missing his brothers, Brian seems to fawn all over Carl and what a beautiful voice he had. His comments about Dennis - if he does not ignore him completely - seem to indicate that he was fearful of Dennis, or at least intimidated by him. Yet most of what I read about Dennis leads me to believe he put Brian on a pedestal. He seemed to admire Brian to no end.

[wantsomecorn]

Not sure if I agree with you entirely. I've seen many interviews where Brian mentions how much he misses both of his brothers.

I do think it's possible that, unlike Carl, Dennis died while Brian was in the middle of his Landy years, meaning they hadn't probably been in contact much before his death. While Carl still also died far too young, he at least had a chance to connect with Brian after he got away from Landy, so there could be a lot less left unsaid between Brian and Carl than between Brian and Dennis.

[c-man]

I remember a couple of interviews Brian gave in the '80s and '90s - I think one was with Timothy White for Musician in '85 - in that one, he was describing how he learned of Dennis' death, and he said something like "He and I were pretty good buddies". Then he had to leave the room. Another was with Don Was for Interview magazine, around '95 - in that one he said something like, "Dennis wasn't much of an influence on my music, but we were good friends". Something like that. Remember, Brian and Dennis had grown especially close in the early '80s. Now, both of these interviews were before Carl's passing, and by now, Dennis has been gone over 30 years, whereas Carl's passing is much more recent. And Brian and Carl were pretty well estranged in the '90s, even after Landy's exist. I'm thinking Brian feels some remorse over that, so feels especially sentimental about him now.

[CenturyDeprived]

What was that relationship like? How did Brian really feel about Dennis? As his brother, I know that he loved him and he certainly respected his musical output. I noticed in some interviews since Carl's passing when the interviewer asks about missing his brothers, Brian seems to fawn all over Carl and what a beautiful voice he had. His comments about Dennis - if he does not ignore him completely - seem to indicate that he was fearful of Dennis, or at least intimidated by him. Yet most of what I read about Dennis leads me to believe he put Brian on a pedestal. He seemed to admire Brian to no end.

I think it's probably just a little bit too heartbreaking for Brian to want to go into details about Dennis. The way Dennis died and his decline was so particularly tragic - their relationship is probably something he doesn't want to publicly discuss very much.  We know that Brian was fixated on the tragic manner in which Dennis passed away, when he confided to Melinda in the car upon first meeting her that he often thinks about his brother, who at that point had died just a couple of years earlier.  I'm sure he loved Dennis, yet I have no doubt that their relationship was complicated in ways we could/should never fully understand.

[joe_blow]

He called Dennis "rude".

https://youtu.be/Tn9nLxUAAmI?t=344

[Lonely Summer]

It must be hard to be a public figure, and be constantly asked about your siblings who are no longer around. Dennis' death was especially upsetting to both Brian and Carl; it was a sensitive subject for both, both probably thinking 'what more could I have done to help him?' And then to finally be the only brother left - and who would have ever guessed that Brian would outlive both of them? It wouldn't be at the top of my list of questions if I ever got to interview Brian.

[Amy B.]

I've heard a mixture of things from Brian about Dennis. I've read where Brian says he loves POB. But I also remember one relatively recent interview (maybe in the last 10 years) where Brian described Dennis is "too stupid to learn." I think maybe that's the place Dennis occupied in Brian's mind when he was alive--his "dumb" younger brother who was always making trouble-- and that older sibling contempt is somewhat entrenched. But I bet it's also a way to deflect from the grief that Brian feels.

I'm curious about whether Carl was ever asked about Dennis after Dennis's death. I always wondered what Carl thought of Dennis as a person and a musician. There wasn't that birth order issue, as there was with Brian.

[Lonely Summer]

I've heard a mixture of things from Brian about Dennis. I've read where Brian says he loves POB. But I also remember one relatively recent interview (maybe in the last 10 years) where Brian described Dennis is "too stupid to learn." I think maybe that's the place Dennis occupied in Brian's mind when he was alive--his "dumb" younger brother who was always making trouble-- and that older sibling contempt is somewhat entrenched. But I bet it's also a way to deflect from the grief that Brian feels.

I'm curious about whether Carl was ever asked about Dennis after Dennis's death. I always wondered what Carl thought of Dennis as a person and a musician. There wasn't that birth order issue, as there was with Brian.

That "too stupid" comment was in the A&E bio of Brian. That was one show where I felt Brian was not into the interview at all; completely unlike how he was in IJWMFTT.
Carl was asked many times about Dennis after his death. I remember an article in Beach Boys Stomp about Carl producing a demo for Jenny Mulduar (sp?), Carl talked freely to the writer about a number of things, including the 25th anniversary special in Hawaii (he said he wasn't satisfied with the playing of the band members, most of them had stayed up late the night before celebrating). When the writer asked Carl about Dennis, he got very quiet. It was hard to get more out of him than "he was a really great guy and we really miss him".

[Debbie KL]

Jeez - How many of us have had complicated relationships with people whom we loved deeply and lost in difficult circumstances?  I comment about the loss very, very poorly - or I avoid it completely. It's just too difficult.  Expecting Brian or Carl to do more is a bit too much I'm thinking.  It's a private thing, and far too complex to express.  I observed how much they loved each other.  I'll leave it at that.

[HeyJude]

I would tend to guess even the Wilson brothers themselves never fully understood the relationship they had with each other, so I can't imagine why anyone else can expect to fully understand it, or to have ever expected any of them to articulate the breadth and quality of their relationships in a quick interview soundbite.

They had a rough family relationship by any apparent measure, then drugs and alcohol complicated it further. Then, egos and artistry added to that. Not to mention HUGE financial factors. All sorts of interlopers (Landy, spouses, friends, etc.). The fact that Brian and Carl remained estranged to some degree *after* Landy was gone and after both remaining brothers were no longer using drugs, speaks a great deal to how complex their relationship had to have been.

The family factor is so huge. Despite the fact that I'm sure Al Jardine and David Marks would be considered "family" by the most inclusive definition among most band members, I think it's also not surprising that it has been David Marks and to some degree Al who have most easily navigated back into working with Brian again. Less baggage. Still a ton (in the case of Al anyway), but without that extra layer of complexity perhaps.

[Debbie KL]

I would tend to guess even the Wilson brothers themselves never fully understood the relationship they had with each other, so I can't imagine why anyone else can expect to fully understand it, or to have ever expected any of them to articulate the breadth and quality of their relationships in a quick interview soundbite.

They had a rough family relationship by any apparent measure, then drugs and alcohol complicated it further. Then, egos and artistry added to that. Not to mention HUGE financial factors. All sorts of interlopers (Landy, spouses, friends, etc.). The fact that Brian and Carl remained estranged to some degree *after* Landy was gone and after both remaining brothers were no longer using drugs, speaks a great deal to how complex their relationship had to have been.

The family factor is so huge. Despite the fact that I'm sure Al Jardine and David Marks would be considered "family" by the most inclusive definition among most band members, I think it's also not surprising that it has been David Marks and to some degree Al who have most easily navigated back into working with Brian again. Less baggage. Still a ton (in the case of Al anyway), but without that extra layer of complexity perhaps.

Just to speak to this:  "They had a rough family relationship by any apparent measure, then drugs and alcohol complicated it further. Then, egos and artistry added to that. Not to mention HUGE financial factors. All sorts of interlopers (Landy, spouses, friends, etc.). The fact that Brian and Carl remained estranged to some degree *after* Landy was gone and after both remaining brothers were no longer using drugs, speaks a great deal to how complex their relationship had to have been."

(Not a criticism, Hey Jude, just focusing on a specific here).  I would say that Melinda was very interested in having Brian heal his relationship with his family even before she married him, and that I know directly.  While I wasn't there when the event(s) happened, I understand that before Carl's death, there was a major healing experience between Brian and Carl, and I did see it later in talking to Brian about Carl - there was a real joy.  Unfortunately, Dennis died during the Landy years.  But we all heal in our own ways and time and possibly even in other realms.  I don't claim to know how that works.  I do know that they all loved each other and that Melinda was very interested in helping that experience between them become real.  In this particular case, the spouse was definitely not the interloper/problem.

[Bill30022]

I would tend to guess even the Wilson brothers themselves never fully understood the relationship they had with each other, so I can't imagine why anyone else can expect to fully understand it, or to have ever expected any of them to articulate the breadth and quality of their relationships in a quick interview soundbite.

They had a rough family relationship by any apparent measure, then drugs and alcohol complicated it further. Then, egos and artistry added to that. Not to mention HUGE financial factors. All sorts of interlopers (Landy, spouses, friends, etc.). The fact that Brian and Carl remained estranged to some degree *after* Landy was gone and after both remaining brothers were no longer using drugs, speaks a great deal to how complex their relationship had to have been.

The family factor is so huge. Despite the fact that I'm sure Al Jardine and David Marks would be considered "family" by the most inclusive definition among most band members, I think it's also not surprising that it has been David Marks and to some degree Al who have most easily navigated back into working with Brian again. Less baggage. Still a ton (in the case of Al anyway), but without that extra layer of complexity perhaps.

Just to speak to this:  "They had a rough family relationship by any apparent measure, then drugs and alcohol complicated it further. Then, egos and artistry added to that. Not to mention HUGE financial factors. All sorts of interlopers (Landy, spouses, friends, etc.). The fact that Brian and Carl remained estranged to some degree *after* Landy was gone and after both remaining brothers were no longer using drugs, speaks a great deal to how complex their relationship had to have been."

(Not a criticism, Hey Jude, just focusing on a specific here).  I would say that Melinda was very interested in having Brian heal his relationship with his family even before she married him, and that I know directly.  While I wasn't there when the event(s) happened, I understand that before Carl's death, there was a major healing experience between Brian and Carl, and I did see it later in talking to Brian about Carl - there was a real joy.  Unfortunately, Dennis died during the Landy years.  But we all heal in our own ways and time and possibly even in other realms.  I don't claim to know how that works.  I do know that they all loved each other and that Melinda was very interested in helping that experience between them become real.  In this particular case, the spouse was definitely not the interloper/problem.

I am glad to here that. If one believes the theory that stress is a contributor to the onset of cancer than it is possible that the Brian/Landy situation played a role in Carl's illness. He deserved having his relationship with Brian healed before he passed.

I do find Carl the most interesting of the Beach Boys because so little is known about him. He is the Raymond Shaw of the band - Even Mike Love has never uttered a discouraging  word about Carl.

[MrRobinsonsFather]

I would tend to guess even the Wilson brothers themselves never fully understood the relationship they had with each other, so I can't imagine why anyone else can expect to fully understand it, or to have ever expected any of them to articulate the breadth and quality of their relationships in a quick interview soundbite.

They had a rough family relationship by any apparent measure, then drugs and alcohol complicated it further. Then, egos and artistry added to that. Not to mention HUGE financial factors. All sorts of interlopers (Landy, spouses, friends, etc.). The fact that Brian and Carl remained estranged to some degree *after* Landy was gone and after both remaining brothers were no longer using drugs, speaks a great deal to how complex their relationship had to have been.

The family factor is so huge. Despite the fact that I'm sure Al Jardine and David Marks would be considered "family" by the most inclusive definition among most band members, I think it's also not surprising that it has been David Marks and to some degree Al who have most easily navigated back into working with Brian again. Less baggage. Still a ton (in the case of Al anyway), but without that extra layer of complexity perhaps.

Just to speak to this:  "They had a rough family relationship by any apparent measure, then drugs and alcohol complicated it further. Then, egos and artistry added to that. Not to mention HUGE financial factors. All sorts of interlopers (Landy, spouses, friends, etc.). The fact that Brian and Carl remained estranged to some degree *after* Landy was gone and after both remaining brothers were no longer using drugs, speaks a great deal to how complex their relationship had to have been."

(Not a criticism, Hey Jude, just focusing on a specific here).  I would say that Melinda was very interested in having Brian heal his relationship with his family even before she married him, and that I know directly.  While I wasn't there when the event(s) happened, I understand that before Carl's death, there was a major healing experience between Brian and Carl, and I did see it later in talking to Brian about Carl - there was a real joy.  Unfortunately, Dennis died during the Landy years.  But we all heal in our own ways and time and possibly even in other realms.  I don't claim to know how that works.  I do know that they all loved each other and that Melinda was very interested in helping that experience between them become real.  In this particular case, the spouse was definitely not the interloper/problem.

I am glad to here that. If one believes the theory that stress is a contributor to the onset of cancer than it is possible that the Brian/Landy situation played a role in Carl's illness. He deserved having his relationship with Brian healed before he passed.

I do find Carl the most interesting of the Beach Boys because so little is known about him. He is the Raymond Shaw of the band - Even Mike Love has never uttered a discouraging  word about Carl.

Jerry Schilling has stated throughout the years how much Carl did for Brian. Here's a quote from Jerry that I find interesting from Endless summer quarterly
" I was working with Brian the last year of Carl's life. I was spending a lot of time with Carl, but I was producing the A&E Biography on Brian at the time. Brian would ask " Is Carl going to be ok?" If there is one "beach boy" thing that remains undisclosed in that area it is how difficult it was for Carl to make those decisions"

Not sure what specifically Jerry means. Does he mean Carl was keeping his distance from Brian so not to make it more painful or maybe Carl didn't want to give Brian too much information on his illness.

[CenturyDeprived]

I would tend to guess even the Wilson brothers themselves never fully understood the relationship they had with each other, so I can't imagine why anyone else can expect to fully understand it, or to have ever expected any of them to articulate the breadth and quality of their relationships in a quick interview soundbite.

They had a rough family relationship by any apparent measure, then drugs and alcohol complicated it further. Then, egos and artistry added to that. Not to mention HUGE financial factors. All sorts of interlopers (Landy, spouses, friends, etc.). The fact that Brian and Carl remained estranged to some degree *after* Landy was gone and after both remaining brothers were no longer using drugs, speaks a great deal to how complex their relationship had to have been.

The family factor is so huge. Despite the fact that I'm sure Al Jardine and David Marks would be considered "family" by the most inclusive definition among most band members, I think it's also not surprising that it has been David Marks and to some degree Al who have most easily navigated back into working with Brian again. Less baggage. Still a ton (in the case of Al anyway), but without that extra layer of complexity perhaps.

Just to speak to this:  "They had a rough family relationship by any apparent measure, then drugs and alcohol complicated it further. Then, egos and artistry added to that. Not to mention HUGE financial factors. All sorts of interlopers (Landy, spouses, friends, etc.). The fact that Brian and Carl remained estranged to some degree *after* Landy was gone and after both remaining brothers were no longer using drugs, speaks a great deal to how complex their relationship had to have been."

(Not a criticism, Hey Jude, just focusing on a specific here).  I would say that Melinda was very interested in having Brian heal his relationship with his family even before she married him, and that I know directly.  While I wasn't there when the event(s) happened, I understand that before Carl's death, there was a major healing experience between Brian and Carl, and I did see it later in talking to Brian about Carl - there was a real joy.  Unfortunately, Dennis died during the Landy years.  But we all heal in our own ways and time and possibly even in other realms.  I don't claim to know how that works.  I do know that they all loved each other and that Melinda was very interested in helping that experience between them become real.  In this particular case, the spouse was definitely not the interloper/problem.

I am glad to here that. If one believes the theory that stress is a contributor to the onset of cancer than it is possible that the Brian/Landy situation played a role in Carl's illness. He deserved having his relationship with Brian healed before he passed.

I do find Carl the most interesting of the Beach Boys because so little is known about him. He is the Raymond Shaw of the band - Even Mike Love has never uttered a discouraging  word about Carl.

Jerry Schilling has stated throughout the years how much Carl did for Brian. Here's a quote from Jerry that I find interesting from Endless summer quarterly
" I was working with Brian the last year of Carl's life. I was spending a lot of time with Carl, but I was producing the A&E Biography on Brian at the time. Brian would ask " Is Carl going to be ok?" If there is one "beach boy" thing that remains undisclosed in that area it is how difficult it was for Carl to make those decisions"

Not sure what specifically Jerry means. Does he mean Carl was keeping his distance from Brian so not to make it more painful or maybe Carl didn't want to give Brian too much information on his illness.

Wow. That is almost unbearably sad to ponder. Could it be that Carl feared that the emotional gut-wrenching manner in which Brian might have reacted (had Brian been clued in on full details of Carl's illness) could have potentially affected Brian's own sobriety? Thank goodness that Brian had Melinda at that time. Same deal for Brian thankfully being sober on 12/28/83. For as much as Landy is justifiably vilified, it's frightening to ponder what Brian might have done to self medicate in the immediate aftermath of Denny's passing (sans Landy's presence).

[Sound of Free]

I think the Carl-Dennis is the easiest Wilson brothers relationship to figure out. It seemed like they were always there for each other. Even when Carl was completely wasted during the "Surfer Girl" intro in Australia, he told the crowd about "Pacific Ocean Blue" -- which he did a lot of work on even though contractually he wasn't supposed to.

And Dennis, even before his voice was shot, gave Carl a lot of his songs to sing.

This interview footage from the "American Band" premiere is poignant, as Carl mentions watching Dennis deteriorate is the most painful thing, but how much he enjoyed seeing him in the film.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IRvtmBz9ng

And Carl was behind the idea that the Beach Boys would play for any rehab Dennis wanted, and would buy back his boat if he stuck with it.

Plus, apparently Carl was the one behind getting some additional Dennis songs in the first box set.

[Lonely Summer]

I think the Carl-Dennis is the easiest Wilson brothers relationship to figure out. It seemed like they were always there for each other. Even when Carl was completely wasted during the "Surfer Girl" intro in Australia, he told the crowd about "Pacific Ocean Blue" -- which he did a lot of work on even though contractually he wasn't supposed to.

And Dennis, even before his voice was shot, gave Carl a lot of his songs to sing.

This interview footage from the "American Band" premiere is poignant, as Carl mentions watching Dennis deteriorate is the most painful thing, but how much he enjoyed seeing him in the film.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IRvtmBz9ng

And Carl was behind the idea that the Beach Boys would play for any rehab Dennis wanted, and would buy back his boat if he stuck with it.

Plus, apparently Carl was the one behind getting some additional Dennis songs in the first box set.

Yes, I remember reading in Goldmine - a quote from David Leaf - that Carl wanted more of Denny's songs in the box set, believing - correctly - that he had been under-represented in previous collections. Ten Years of Harmony came to mind when I read that; a very good collection of their 70's output, except that it only contained one Dennis song - and that was River Song, from POB. Why did they pick a song from his solo album, when there were great songs like Baby Blue, Slip on Through, Cuddle Up, and Forever that could have been included?

[HeyJude]

Just to speak to this:  "They had a rough family relationship by any apparent measure, then drugs and alcohol complicated it further. Then, egos and artistry added to that. Not to mention HUGE financial factors. All sorts of interlopers (Landy, spouses, friends, etc.). The fact that Brian and Carl remained estranged to some degree *after* Landy was gone and after both remaining brothers were no longer using drugs, speaks a great deal to how complex their relationship had to have been."

(Not a criticism, Hey Jude, just focusing on a specific here).  I would say that Melinda was very interested in having Brian heal his relationship with his family even before she married him, and that I know directly.  While I wasn't there when the event(s) happened, I understand that before Carl's death, there was a major healing experience between Brian and Carl, and I did see it later in talking to Brian about Carl - there was a real joy.  Unfortunately, Dennis died during the Landy years.  But we all heal in our own ways and time and possibly even in other realms.  I don't claim to know how that works.  I do know that they all loved each other and that Melinda was very interested in helping that experience between them become real.  In this particular case, the spouse was definitely not the interloper/problem.

Sure, I've read that Brian and Carl had some moments in the end, and that's obviously heartening. I didn't mean to imply they were ever fully estranged. Indeed, both *through* the Landy years and after they did work together at various points, and no doubt had personal interactions and gatherings as well. They simply didn't seem to have some sort of post-Landy reconnection where they were regularly working together like, say, the "Love You" era or something like that. There definitely seemed to simply be some difficulty and complexity there, and an already complex relationship was further complicated by the ill feelings over the "autobiography" in particular it seems.

[Amy B.]

Thanks for the discussion of Carl and Dennis, everyone. It is clear how much Carl respected Dennis's output. The two just seemed so different in temperament that I had trouble understanding what their relationship was.

[Sound of Free]

It was a complicated relationship, but the love was there.

[Lonely Summer]

Just to speak to this:  "They had a rough family relationship by any apparent measure, then drugs and alcohol complicated it further. Then, egos and artistry added to that. Not to mention HUGE financial factors. All sorts of interlopers (Landy, spouses, friends, etc.). The fact that Brian and Carl remained estranged to some degree *after* Landy was gone and after both remaining brothers were no longer using drugs, speaks a great deal to how complex their relationship had to have been."

(Not a criticism, Hey Jude, just focusing on a specific here).  I would say that Melinda was very interested in having Brian heal his relationship with his family even before she married him, and that I know directly.  While I wasn't there when the event(s) happened, I understand that before Carl's death, there was a major healing experience between Brian and Carl, and I did see it later in talking to Brian about Carl - there was a real joy.  Unfortunately, Dennis died during the Landy years.  But we all heal in our own ways and time and possibly even in other realms.  I don't claim to know how that works.  I do know that they all loved each other and that Melinda was very interested in helping that experience between them become real.  In this particular case, the spouse was definitely not the interloper/problem.

Sure, I've read that Brian and Carl had some moments in the end, and that's obviously heartening. I didn't mean to imply they were ever fully estranged. Indeed, both *through* the Landy years and after they did work together at various points, and no doubt had personal interactions and gatherings as well. They simply didn't seem to have some sort of post-Landy reconnection where they were regularly working together like, say, the "Love You" era or something like that. There definitely seemed to simply be some difficulty and complexity there, and an already complex relationship was further complicated by the ill feelings over the "autobiography" in particular it seems.

The Landy years really messed things up, ALMOST beyond repair. I've been rowsing old issues of Billboard online, and the Beach Boys turn up in Billboard more often for lawsuits in the 90's than any actual music making. It's sad that it came to that. It is nice to read that Melinda tried to repair the damaged relationships, though. In the past, I wasn't quite sure what she thought of Brian's family. There was one interview where she said she thought Audree always favored Carl over Brian; when they were on the Larry King show in 2004, she said something to the effect that they had access to the best doctors in the world at UCLA, and yet they chose Landy. Comments like that made me think she didn't like Brian's family.

[CenturyDeprived]

The Landy years really messed things up, ALMOST beyond repair. I've been rowsing old issues of Billboard online, and the Beach Boys turn up in Billboard more often for lawsuits in the 90's than any actual music making. It's sad that it came to that. It is nice to read that Melinda tried to repair the damaged relationships, though. In the past, I wasn't quite sure what she thought of Brian's family. There was one interview where she said she thought Audree always favored Carl over Brian; when they were on the Larry King show in 2004, she said something to the effect that they had access to the best doctors in the world at UCLA, and yet they chose Landy. Comments like that made me think she didn't like Brian's family.

I wonder what Brian's family thought (or in the case of deceased members, would have thought) about Melinda's comments, in particular the Larry King Show comments. I empathize with Brian's family, as I have no doubt they tried hard, very hard, in every way that they probably were aware of at the time. Yet, was/is Melinda actually right? Why didn't they choose UCLA doctors? Was it ignorance of the right people to contact?  Perhaps Melinda was particularly upset about the topic because none of Brian's family ever owned up to Melinda's UCLA viewpoint perhaps being correct in hindsight. Sometimes, all people want is for others to own responsibility for not taking the right course of action. As I mentioned in a recent post, I don't know if there's anyone living or not, associated with the Brian, who ever has publicly owned up to having f*cked up, having made bad decisions which inadvertently worsened Brian's longterm condition - decisions that could/should have been done differently.  

Getting back to the topic of Denny and Brian, I wonder what conversations went on between Brian and Landy during 1983, with regards about what could be done about Denny's declining state. Man this is a sad topic.

[JakeH]

As I mentioned in a recent post, I don't know if there's anyone living or not, associated with the Brian, who ever has publicly owned up to having f*cked up, having made bad decisions which inadvertently worsened Brian's longterm condition - decisions that could/should have been done differently.  

Brian has.

[Debbie KL]

Just to speak to this:  "They had a rough family relationship by any apparent measure, then drugs and alcohol complicated it further. Then, egos and artistry added to that. Not to mention HUGE financial factors. All sorts of interlopers (Landy, spouses, friends, etc.). The fact that Brian and Carl remained estranged to some degree *after* Landy was gone and after both remaining brothers were no longer using drugs, speaks a great deal to how complex their relationship had to have been."

(Not a criticism, Hey Jude, just focusing on a specific here).  I would say that Melinda was very interested in having Brian heal his relationship with his family even before she married him, and that I know directly.  While I wasn't there when the event(s) happened, I understand that before Carl's death, there was a major healing experience between Brian and Carl, and I did see it later in talking to Brian about Carl - there was a real joy.  Unfortunately, Dennis died during the Landy years.  But we all heal in our own ways and time and possibly even in other realms.  I don't claim to know how that works.  I do know that they all loved each other and that Melinda was very interested in helping that experience between them become real.  In this particular case, the spouse was definitely not the interloper/problem.

Sure, I've read that Brian and Carl had some moments in the end, and that's obviously heartening. I didn't mean to imply they were ever fully estranged. Indeed, both *through* the Landy years and after they did work together at various points, and no doubt had personal interactions and gatherings as well. They simply didn't seem to have some sort of post-Landy reconnection where they were regularly working together like, say, the "Love You" era or something like that. There definitely seemed to simply be some difficulty and complexity there, and an already complex relationship was further complicated by the ill feelings over the "autobiography" in particular it seems.

The Landy years really messed things up, ALMOST beyond repair. I've been rowsing old issues of Billboard online, and the Beach Boys turn up in Billboard more often for lawsuits in the 90's than any actual music making. It's sad that it came to that. It is nice to read that Melinda tried to repair the damaged relationships, though. In the past, I wasn't quite sure what she thought of Brian's family. There was one interview where she said she thought Audree always favored Carl over Brian; when they were on the Larry King show in 2004, she said something to the effect that they had access to the best doctors in the world at UCLA, and yet they chose Landy. Comments like that made me think she didn't like Brian's family.

Well, Audree did very blatantly favor Carl over Brian and Dennis, so Melinda was simply being honest.  I observed it, and Audree told me that Brian and Dennis had that same nervous energy as Murry and Carl was more like her, and she said something to the effect that she was more comfortable with that.  It's not unusual in a parent - just reality.  I suspect Audree would even admit to it, were she alive.

As far as the UCLA doctors comments, again, Melinda was simply stating the truth.  While I can't speak for her, I will say that it was very frustrating for a lot of people that Brian didn't have the best medical care.  I'm guessing that the Landy choice (for the 2nd time) simply came from ignorance on the part of the family about the situation and what the best medical care might be.  Match that with the fact that they had the money/fame/success to think that they knew more than people with better suggestions as a possibility.  The "show biz" doctor was chosen again.  That is just a guess, but that's how it felt way back when.  

I can't speak for Melinda, but I certainly never had any sense that she disliked Brian's family.  In fact, she always seemed compassionate towards them as well, knowing that they all dealt with the same abusive father/husband who was from a line of abusive males apparently, and didn't know any better.  The situation of trying to help Brian - the man she loved - was just very frustrating for a long time, and I think she was expressing that.  Again, that's my take and I'm not speaking for her.  She was clearly instrumental in getting Brian and Carl reunited, so I think that would be an obvious factor in understanding that she wasn't against Brian's family.

Century Deprived - I hope might be a good reply to your comments, as well.  I haven't a clue what discussions Brian and Landy may have had about Dennis.  I guess only Brian knows at this point.  Maybe it will be in his book?

[CenturyDeprived]

As I mentioned in a recent post, I don't know if there's anyone living or not, associated with the Brian, who ever has publicly owned up to having f*cked up, having made bad decisions which inadvertently worsened Brian's longterm condition - decisions that could/should have been done differently.  

Brian has.

Of course, and I think most people admire the selfless way he takes responsibility for things in which he has f*cked up. Not all of his bandmates share that trait. I'm not trying to play the blame game, and as I said, I have real empathy for all of Brian's family members, past and present. I was just pointing out the contradiction that obviously Melinda feels there's some blame or questions that others other than Brian should own up to, contrasted with nobody else actually publicly owning up to those things. For whatever reason(s), that contradiction exists.

[CenturyDeprived]

As far as the UCLA doctors comments, again, Melinda was simply stating the truth.  While I can't speak for her, I will say that it was very frustrating for a lot of people that Brian didn't have the best medical care.  I'm guessing that the Landy choice (for the 2nd time) simply came from ignorance on the part of the family about the situation and what the best medical care might be.  Match that with the fact that they had the money/fame/success to think that they knew more than people with better suggestions as a possibility.  The "show biz" doctor was chosen again.  That is just a guess, but that's how it felt way back when.  
 

I also think that if Landy during the 2nd era hadn't gone the additional, far-off step of becoming a complete and total scumbag that he did in the late '80s/early '90s... if he had just eased off from Brian and not become the creep that he did in fact become, that the family's decision of getting Landy back in late '82 might not have been such a terrible choice. Would it be fair to say that the first year or two of Landy II ('83-'84-ish) were not nearly as bad as what eventually happened a few years later? If Landy had never gone overstepping the bounds that he did in fact do later that decade, and Brian had somehow been eased off from Landy's care, and had found and married Melinda, would Landy be considered nearly the creep that he is today?

I'm trying to be non-judgmental...  I'd tend to guess that even though the family had some real crappy thoughts about Landy in '76 that led to his dismissal then, there probably weren't enough warning signs for them to have had any inkling that Landy was capable of the actions he eventually did. So I think it wasn't necessarily completely unreasonable for them to have thought that Landy (as they knew him to be in '82) might have been a not completely terrible option. I can understand people thinking that Brian needed someone outside the box of normal treatment that was known about at the time.