Bubs & Judd Review No Pier Pressure

[alf wiedersehen]

Part 7: The Polaris Brothers


Don't Worry begins.

Bubs:   disco, baby

Judd:   and as I've also already said, the horn synths on the chorus sound absolutely fucking atrocious

Bubs:   oh my god you can hear them in the intro

Judd:   they're so bad

Bubs:   they truly are

Judd:   this is the one that sounds unfinished to me. if they'd just hired some session musicians this would have been a fucking showstopper. ughhh I love the outro

Bubs:   "Don't worry.." has almost the same melody as the same part in "Don't Worry Baby" right?

Judd:   it doesn't spring to mind, honestly. to me this sounds pretty much as un-Brian as most of the other songs on the album. which is to say, rather

Bubs:   I think he reused that 3 note melody on this one, but maybe it fits naturally on those words

Judd:   aye. quite catchy, this. it's basically a less misguided Runaway Dancer

Bubs:   yeah, I was thinking of the RD similarity

Judd:   two Brian Wilson dance tracks. so yes, I really like that one. probably my personal favourite on this album

Bubs:   hm… I don't know what to say about this. like I said earlier, it's weird. I'd love to hear Brian talk about what this is

Judd:   yeah, dunno who he wrote it with. er, do we continue

Bubs:   apparently it's with Joe Thomas

Judd:   ah. might be another late 90s one

Bubs:   what were they going for? all right, you love it. I'm unconvinced, but let's move on

Judd:   I think it's just an earnest attempt at a 70s style disco song. unlike Runaway Dancer. who knows what the f*** they were trying to do with that.

[alf wiedersehen]

Part 8: No, they did


Somewhere Quiet begins.

Bubs:   I started this one up and was like, "hey, this ain't bad.” but there's a reason for that

Judd:   yes

Bubs:   it's 50 years old

Judd:   this is the most pointless thing on the album. lyrics to Summer Means New Love? alright, what are you gonna do with it? NOTHING

Bubs:   have you read the lyrics to this? cuz that's the only thing they've done for this. so, they better not f*** that part up, right?

Judd:   let's take a looksy: “Late at night my head walks around you/ Your answers knock at my door”. that's... okay?

Bubs:   yeah, that one punches you right in the nose

Judd:   “Lost inside a deep sea of faces/ Surrounded by eyes still alone”

Bubs:   I almost like the first line, but the second line loses it

Judd:   “I found myself lost in your wonder/ Happy to be the proof”

Bubs:   PROOF OF WHAT

Judd:   actually looking over these lyrics they're quite nice

Bubs:   are you serious? “You're the answer that doesn't ask questions/ Because you're simply the truth”

Judd:   well, I mean

Bubs:   NO

Judd:   as with The Right Time at least they're TRYING to sound like they mean something, and The Right Time was much worse. that said, I still don't know why they chose Summer Means New Love

Bubs:   Once again, though, the last lines of this song just ruin it. He tries to figure out who the other person is, but then they say "I haven't figured it out, and that's why I love you". so, wait a second here, you're not concerned they could be "playing the part"? and the reason you love the person is because you can't figure them out?

Judd:   she's mysteeeerious. mysterious is sexy

Bubs:   but that's the opposite of what this song goes for the whole time. well, the coherent parts anyway--not when he's professing his love of being the truth

Judd:   oh i don't know, i should be asleep

Bubs:   NEXT SONG

[RangeRoverA1]

This is akin to Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel youtube video reviews. I like it even if disagree with some songs, f.ex. Guess you had to be there is the dullfest. And what for this cursing? Imo reviews must be written in normal language.

[alf wiedersehen]

Imo reviews must be written in normal language.

While I respect your opinion and your ability to hold it, I disagree. I can't see the benefit in intentionally limiting my vocabulary. Swearing is a quick, effective means of communication, and I'm sure many would consider it to be a part of "normal language." Applying such rigid rules to writing only serves to remove creativity and freedom from the process.

[alf wiedersehen]

Part 9: Two for Fun


I'm Feeling Sad begins.

Judd:   this is one of the highlights even though it's super fucking compressed AND THE DRUMS ARE STILL LOUD AS BALLS

Bubs:   musta been Ricky in the control booth

Judd:   ooh, good point. I'm not sure I like hearing the fingers go up and down the guitar strings... I have become prejudiced after hearing it in innumerable white guy with acoustic guitar songs. still, decent song. nice and short too

Bubs:   love the beginning. I'm not sure how well the two parts to this song work together

Judd:   I think it flows nicely enough. I like the accordion

Bubs:   it's a good song

Judd:   this is clearly one of the best songs on the album, dunno why they just dumped it on the deluxe version

Bubs:   some unfortunate lyrics

Judd:   probably

Bubs:   but some not unfortunate lyrics

Judd:   yay

Bubs:   I like when Brian does his "this is my life" songs, they always turn out well. dunno why

Judd:   eh. NEXT SONG. TELL ME WHY


Tell Me Why begins.

Bubs:   there are so many songs with this title

Judd:   I can only recall the Beatles one. I like the opening lines. "kinda good but mostly bad"

Bubs:   there's a super weird effect on Brian's voice

Judd:   I think that just comes from the pitch correction

Bubs:   like, listen to the way he pronounces "mostly"

Judd:   yeah, some weird gravelly thing going on. but that's on pretty much all his vocals here

Bubs:   I don't remember hearing it on other songs. some of the words come out strangely on this one

Judd:   god. the drums.

Bubs:   this is mostly in the vein of "Whatever Happened"

Judd:   yeah, but not as good.  kind of a non-chorus on this one. "tell me whyyyyyyyy"

Bubs:   I like the backing vocals on Al's chorus

Judd:   they're alright. it just… doesn't come to life. the ballads are just so artificial

Bubs:   there's no personality to them

Judd:   and there's no subtlety to the production. they don't really try anything, they just do the horns and strings, slap on some harmonies, then crank up the drums to avoid any listeners getting bored. and the melodies are really half-assed.

Bubs:   I think some of the lyrics here are okay, and I enjoy the horn parts. we can go to the next one

Judd:   right. one of the worst offenders, if memory serves - SAIL AWAY

[alf wiedersehen]

Part 10: Newman Wept


Sail Away begins.

Judd:   for the record, the Sail Away on Orange Crate Art is so many million miles better

Bubs:   what's playing the intro there?

Judd:   not sure. sounds compressed as f*** though

Bubs:   it's walking along the line between synth and real instrument, defiantly sticking its tongue out at me

Judd:   godddddddddd

Bubs:   you can also hear someone hit a tambourine or similar instrument

Judd:   I'm beginning to think all these songs would be a lot better if they just TURNED DOWN THE FUCKING DRUMS, it's the sound of being smacked in the face

Bubs:   now, Judd, when you think of Blondie, what's the first thing that pops to mind?

Judd:   ooooh because it's also about sailing

Bubs:   what you think of when you think of Blondie is sailing. so, we'll just take that idea, right, and we'll take away the good song part, and it'll be fine

Judd:   it sounds a bit more like Sloop John B to me, which I realise is blasphemous to write, but whatever

Bubs:   he was the rockin' guy, now he's singing another commercial for Aruba

Judd:   ughh. I really don't like this one. another one with kind of a non-chorus

Bubs:   I have to imagine someone was like, "Hey, Blondie, you remember when you sang that song ‘Sail On, Sailor,’ right? We're gonna put you on a song called 'Sail Away' and fans will eat that sh*t up."

Judd:   it's just such an empty song

Bubs:   KEY CHANGE MOTHERFUCKER, BOOM

Judd:   ughhh

Bubs:   JUST DROPPED IT ON YA, HOW YA FEELIN NOW

Judd:   this is seriously, just… sometimes I really hate this album, it's so emotionally cold. I've felt a few times over these past few hours, like, who are we kidding

Bubs:   oh no don't give up dreaming brian. he almost gave up dreaming

Judd:    it's such dreck

Bubs:   This is so clearly a song for a cruise line. I can see people partying on the deck: they're holding multi-colored drinks, dancing and smiling, playing in the water. And an old couple are sitting on beach chairs together: we can see the ocean out in the distance in the space between the chairs, and they clink glasses

Judd:   and then it pans out to an overhead shot of the ferry

Bubs:   and then some visual effects happen, the music gets lower, the logo comes up, and someone says "Sail away with us."

Judd:   and then you hear the last bit of the song.

Bubs:   yeah

Judd:   just thinking about this album is so strenuous. it doesn't quite get to you that this is an album with Brian Wilson's name on it… it's all the problems with Brian's solo career in one song

Bubs:   this album should be called Anonymusic. I meant to type Anonymous Music from Conveyor Belt but that mistake seemed clever

Judd:   maybe it's a result of Brian being told he's a genius every day. sry, I tend to get very cynical thinking about this album

Bubs:   we've got 3 songs left on this bad boy

Judd:   it just pisses me off. he's the guy who f***ed with the formula, now he's making this turgid, worthless, safe bullcrap that no-one will think is good in a few decades' time. I WISH I COULD BLAME JOE THOMAS

Bubs:   it was not well received

Judd:   I see Sail Away singled out a lot by people

Bubs:   as the good one?

Judd:   yeah

[undercover-m]

I like don't visit the "General On Topic Discussions," and then I miss out on great threads like this.

That last post with Blondie is killing me. rofl. I probably agree with most of these (I skimmed some, sorry). I'll always enjoy "This Beautiful Day," "Whatever Happened," and "One Kind of Love"

[The Shift]

Sail Away.

Judd:   for the record, the Sail Away on Orange Crate Art is so many million miles better

Judd:   I'm beginning to think all these songs would be a lot better if they just TURNED DOWN THE FUCKING DRUMS, it's the sound of being smacked in the face

Bubs:   now, Judd, when you think of Blondie, what's the first thing that pops to mind?

Judd:   ooooh because it's also about sailing

Bubs:   what you think of when you think of Blondie is sailing. so, we'll just take that idea, right, and we'll take away the good song part, and it'll be fine


Bubs:   he was the rockin' guy, now he's singing another commercial for Aruba

Bubs:   I have to imagine someone was like, "Hey, Blondie, you remember when you sang that song ‘Sail On, Sailor,’ right? We're gonna put you on a song called 'Sail Away' and fans will eat that sh*t up."

Judd:    it's just such an empty song

Judd: it's such dreck

Judd:   just thinking about this album is so strenuous. it doesn't quite get to you that this is an album with Brian Wilson's name on it… it's all the problems with Brian's solo career in one song

Judd:   it just pisses me off. he's the guy who f***ed with the formula, now he's making this turgid, worthless, safe bullcrap that no-one will think is good in a few decades' time. I WISH I COULD BLAME JOE THOMAS

Bubs:   it was not well received

Judd:   I see Sail Away singled out a lot by people

Bubs:   as the good one?

Judd:   yeah

So much truth in this… yet hilarious! Keep it up, please!

[Alan Smith]

Hmm, dunno anymore - think these Hipsters have jumped the shark on this one.

Bring back Will & Will.

( just jokin' - about the shark jump stuff, not about the Will & Will thing - bring back Will & Will!)

[The Shift]

Shark? Will & Will? Is it cos I is English?

[Alan Smith]

Yes, Mester Fawlty!

[Lean Back Now Listen]

These reviews are great! They definitely capture a lot of my frustrations with the album in a funnier way than I could get them across. Excellent job!

[jiggy22]

Bubs:   musta been Ricky in the control booth

How painfully true...

[alf wiedersehen]

Part 11: And the award for worst timing goes to...


One Kind of Love begins.

Judd:   ooh, well

Bubs:   like that melody. pretty sure I've described it as "tumbling," and I still think that’s accurate

Judd:   this has a lovely melody. this could have been a stone cold classic if it didn't sound like God Only Knows wrestling with an 80s power ballad. The drums. THE DRUMS.

Bubs:   or didn't say "I could see cloud 9 CUZ I WAS SAILING OVER IT"... that line is just too much

Judd:   still, this is a definite highlight for me. I'm glad they chose it for Love & Mercy over something like The Last Song

Bubs:   it's nice that he wrote it for Melinda

Judd:   ain't it just. eugh, I don't like that quiet bit near the end when it's just him and the piano. I don't know why but it sounds really icky

Bubs:   he sorta sounds out of breath

Judd:   his singing's good though

Bubs:   I love how you can hear the violins at the end

Judd:   yeah

Bubs:   you can actually hear them being played

Judd:   oh, so you can. cute. in closing, just like the other highlights on the album this gets f***ed over by the production, but you gotta take what you can get

Bubs:   there's something angelic and pure about the piano and horn opening

Judd:   kinda recalls God Only Knows

Bubs:   yeah, a bit

Judd:   damn...  close to a home run, this one. would have fit nicely on Lucky Old Sun. I think it's a Bennett co-write, so maybe that's why

Bubs:   it is. shows, doesn't it

Judd:   he's a good collaborator. from the evidence he seems to be able to get a lot of good out of Brian

Bubs:   perhaps Scott and Joe just have different intentions

Judd:   I just want Joe out of it if it really is him behind the sound of this. The production on Lucky Old Sun was a bit lacking in subtlety but it wasn't nearly as awful as on here

Bubs:   that is a sugary-sweet album

Judd:   I would be just fine with another album of Wilson/Bennett co-writes

Bubs:   unfortunately it seems to be cover songs instead

Judd:   eh, we've only been fans for a few years. it would appear he's been advertising the rock n roll album for at least a decade

Bubs:   but it seems real now. I dunno. next song?

Judd:   they'll probably squeeze in one original. let's do it, SATURDAY NIGHT

Bubs:   penultimate track

[feelsflow]

Hmm, dunno anymore - think these Hipsters have jumped the shark on this one.

Bring back Will & Will.

( just jokin' - about the shark jump stuff, not about the Will & Will thing - bring back Will & Will!)

I'm lurking over in the corner right now.    Waiting for Judd`n' Bubs to get to my #2 - the one with the hunting horn.  It's coming up soon.

Been taking my comedy routine on the road.  Doing private parties down South.  Just got back home yesterday, do have something lined up in the Catskills.
I'll get my assistant to shoot you and John off an invite and backstage passes.

thanks for the mention,

The East Coast Echo
(voice of reason in a dark forest)

[Wirestone]

This series of threads is unmitigated bullshit.

[drbeachboy]

This series of threads is unmitigated bullshit.

That is exactly what these two guys are doing, bullshitting. You guys have opinions on everything else under the sun, in here, but these two guys can't have their say?

[adamghost]

I think it's an (extremely rare nowadays) case of writing about music that's both irreverent, entertaining, AND insightful - even if you or I may not agree with the opinions.  Your mileage may vary of course, but I've enjoyed reading it.

[SMiLE Brian]

I love NPP and disagree with the opinions but these guys are pure satirists!

[drbeachboy]

I think it's an (extremely rare nowadays) case of writing about music that's both irreverent, entertaining, AND insightful - even if you or I may not agree with the opinions.  Your mileage may vary of course, but I've enjoyed reading it.

You have to remember Adam, that in here, you cannot say anything negative about Brian or his music. You can only do that stuff to Mike.

[Gertie J.]

not again......

[alf wiedersehen]

This series of threads is unmitigated bullshit.

Thanks for reading.

[alf wiedersehen]

Part 12: More Unmitigated Bullshit


Saturday Night begins.

Judd:   when I first heard this I was all like, oh yeah, this is the hit single

Bubs:   similar opening to "Guess You Had to Be There”... except worse

Judd:   Nate's got a nice voice. can't even tell if they're pitch correcting him

Bubs:   that's the peak of singing right there

Judd:   he did a few interviews were he said Brian was really cutthroat with him while he was doing vocals, in a good way. it's like, that SOUNDS like a solid hooky chorus

Bubs:   I think Kacey said something along the same lines of Brian being stern

Judd:   ah right, nice to know really. anyway, I don't know what it is about this song. I might have heard it too many times, but it doesn't quite come to life for me, even though I've always told myself that's a solid chorus

Bubs:   the middle 8 is cool, that's my favorite part of the song

Judd:   yeah, it's aight. another gratuitous key change. I weirdly don't really have anything to say about this song

Bubs:   he was pretty amazing when I watched him do "Hold On, Dear Brother" in Vegas

Judd:   oh yeah. did he do Darlin' too?

Bubs:   don't remember

Judd:   bah. so yeah, not an offensive track

Bubs:   I don't have much to say about it

Judd:   lightweight

Bubs:   it's just a pop song

Judd:   yep. maybe I'll listen to it again in a few decades' time and smile

Bubs:   the banjo is an interesting touch

Judd:   true

Bubs:   do you normally associate banjos with Hollywood Boulevard

Judd:   you kiddin me, they're inseparable (cough) THE LAST SONG

Bubs:   is the last song

Judd:   which is the last song ha ha

Bubs:   beat you to it

Judd:   erguerg

[Dudd]

Part 13: Not Part 12


The Last Song begins.

Bubs:   all right, get your hankies

Judd:   I fucking hate this

Bubs:   this one's gonna bring the tears

Judd:   there's something about those high piano lines. when the drums kick in it's doomed, and those la la las are stupid. STUPID. I loved the "don't worry"s but this is supposed to make me sad. that drum is so fucking tepid

Bubs:   the "la"'s are supposed to evoke so much emotion but the song really hasn't worked up to that moment yet, it's shown its hand too soon. it's like a movie killing the main person's mom in the first three minutes

Judd:   now it feels like a Seaworld nighttime show

Bubs:   the way they sing "la" is bizarre, too. it sounds more like someone taunting someone else

Judd:   taunting US. this whole song is just so unbearably stale

Bubs:   I want to be moved, but I'm not

Judd:   I don't even care

Bubs:   it just feels all calculated to pull at the heart strings

Judd:   calculated is a good way of describing it

Bubs:   it's like a computer using a formula to write a song

Judd:   it just plods along

Bubs:   “we'll put lone, high piano notes, and then it's gonna have some sad singing, and then it's gonna do a la la la, and then more sad, and then more la la, and then we'll mention loved ones”

Judd:   it's just the drums I really hate. what is that tempo, are they trying to do some weird marching band thing? godddddd it sounds like fucking Winds of Change off MIU

Bubs:   now that's a terrible song

Judd:   I'm convinced this is as bad. anyway, it sounds more like that than Surf's Up, in case that's what they were going for. this album pisses me off. it doesn't remind me of why I love Brian and his music so much

Bubs:   exactly. I think part of the reason it's so frustrating is because it's the fabled Brian Wilson

Judd:   he's not trying anything new because he's covering old ground except coating it in glitz in what feels like a desperate attempt at chart success… it feels so cynical and calculated

Bubs:   a man who managed to translate real emotion and life experiences into his music, and here there's nothing

[Dudd]

Closing thoughts.

Judd:   I can't stand how loud a lot of it is. the impression I get is that they're worried listeners will be bored if everything isn't CRANKED.

Bubs:   at least it gave us "In the Back of My Mind"

Judd:   oh, that's true, that's a great thing

Bubs:   why in God's name would they give us ItBoMM and L&M with this album? it makes this album look so poor

Judd:   to be honest, the version of L&M they include is a bit cheesy in a similar sort of way to NPP, but the ITBOMM demo, absolutely

Bubs:    the frankness of the lyrics to L&M are a great example of Brian doing his thing

Judd:   oh yeah. I think the closest this album gets to that might be Tell Me Why, lyrically. I like the opening lines

Bubs:   "a lot of people out there hurtin' and it really scares me." I BELIEVE HIM WHEN HE SAYS THAT

Judd:   me toooo

Bubs:   I don't believe NPP.

Judd:   no. I really hope NPP isn't his last album. I don't think time will be kind to it, even if it is his last album. Blah. RATINGS OUT OF… what was it, 5? LET'S DO TEN. I say a 3/10

Bubs:   let's see here… there's 16 songs, 5 of them are a mixture of okay/good. that's a little less than a third… so, 3/10 it is

Judd:   ah. Best song? Worst song?

Bubs:   Best song...

Judd:   I'll just go with Don't Worry: the only song on the album to wriggle its way into my heart

Bubs:   uuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… "This Beautiful Day," I guess

Judd:   oof, worst song… I am offended by both Sail Away and The Last Song

Bubs:   how do you only pick one

Judd:   shrug

Bubs:   "Our Special Love" and "Runaway Dancer" are currently having a knife fight

Judd:   Our Special Love is terrible but at least it's not trying to be anything more than stupid bubblegum. Sail Away and Last Song are worse for me because they're both so cold and insincere. I think I'll say Last Song

Bubs:   I'll say "Our Special Love"

Judd:   okey dokes

Bubs:   cuz you might at least be able to dance to RD

Judd:   if no-one's watching

Bubs:    I always dance like no one's watching

The End