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Author Topic: Let's talk about small dogs.  (Read 1589 times)
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alf wiedersehen
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« on: February 02, 2016, 02:09:46 PM »

Small dogs are the scourge of this earth.

Small dogs laugh in the face of basic tenants of nature.

Small dogs are useless creatures who should have been swallowed whole by nature and everything in it long ago, but they have instead chosen to vehemently laugh in the face of the Darwinian ideals of evolution and natural selection. Not only have they avoided being viciously weeded out by stronger, superior beings, they have refused to evolve into something greater and have remained insignificant. They only reason they exist is through the nurturing instincts of humanity. This is our mistake. Small dogs are not pets. Small dogs are parasites.

Small dogs know this to be true. They know this to be true, but they don't want us to realize it. They bark at us to give the threatening illusion of dominance. And the thing is, it works. Small dogs are permitted to exist due to our self-imposed civility. Humankind's reaction to their incessant, hateful existence should be to hunt them into extinction. Humans should be rotating small dogs over a fire until they are black, crisp, and edible. However, instead of this solution, we humans are trampled upon by their tiny, ineffective paws. These leeches walk over us like rugs. Our civility has allowed nature to be defiled in this most reprehensible of ways.

It is time, brothers and sisters and in-betweeners. Let us cast these small dogs into the unforgiving, primordial wilderness. Allow nature to fix the mistakes we have wrought. If they survive, they will have proven their worth to the cycle of all living things. If they die, then Mother Nature herself has expunged their being from the face of this earth.
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SMiLE Brian
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« Reply #1 on: February 02, 2016, 02:11:30 PM »

One pee on your rug? Grin
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Emily
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« Reply #2 on: February 02, 2016, 02:59:36 PM »

I assume 'small dogs' is a metaphor for Rocky Pamplin and Donald "No one remembers who comes in second" Trump.
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Douchepool
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« Reply #3 on: February 02, 2016, 04:58:02 PM »

"Evolution is slow; smallpox is fast." - George Carlin
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stack-o-tracks
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« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2016, 11:05:34 PM »

People who have issue with "small dogs" are just as retarded and ignorant as people who have anything against "black people" or "Mexicans".

Yeah, I get it, you're trying to be "funny" or "witty" or "something". Hey, way to not be, you dolt.
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No mas, por favor.
JK
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« Reply #5 on: February 03, 2016, 03:14:56 AM »

.
« Last Edit: August 18, 2016, 01:41:20 PM by john k » Logged

alf wiedersehen
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« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2016, 08:11:35 AM »

Hey, way to not be, you dolt.

I'm going to tell a grown-up that you've insulted me, and you will rue this day.
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undercover-m
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« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2016, 07:01:48 PM »

From a biological perspective, small dogs aren't natural. We lovely humans decided, hey, look at this tiny-a$$ wolf descendant. Let's breed it with more that are just like it.
Except, by doing this, you're risking any other traits or disease alleles that are closely linked to the genes that make the dog small (or whatever trait you're selecting for). You can see that in Golden Retrievers and their tendency to have hip issues. My dog, who isn't so big herself (20 pounds is the smallest dog I would ever own) is predispositioned to heart problems.

So from an ethical perspective, dog breeding isn't the greatest thing for animals. By selecting for traits we thought were cool-looking, we gave them diseases associated with their breeds. And seriously, we went from 150-pound wolves to 5-pound dogs? I dunno. My 2-cents.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2016, 07:03:15 PM by undercover-m » Logged

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