Rocky Pamplin book about The Beach Boys?

[The Shift]

Which one's Rocky? So many moustaches…

[Emily]

Humbly submitted as a possible illustration or cover for the book....

thank you!
Does anyone else find it awkward that Rocky's opening, pouring, and handing out the champagne in Brian's home?
Or that there's so much drinking in general around someone who's not supposed to be drinking?
Or that the person who's not supposed to be drinking keeps drinking in these anecdotes?
Or that Stephen Love says he doesn't condone violence when he hired people with no skills other than beating people up? And, according to Rocky, supported his attack on Carl?
I just find it all so contradictory and filled with unacknowledeged subtexts.

[rockrush3]

So is this how the book is going to read? Because it kind of reads like something a middle school kid would do in "creative writing" class. At least Brian realized what a gem he had in you and Stan, even going as far as to exclaim "thanks for hiring Stan and Rocky!". This gives validation to everything you did, honestly. I especially like the nugget where you guys 'high five' each other and say "Right On, Brian!". This book should sell millions.

You're so uninterested... you're the first one to read my post... and the first one to POST... JEALOUSY is such an obvious "CHARACTER DEFECT"...  I "DARE" you to be the first "COWARD" to POST A CHAPTER OF YOUR BOOK!    The World is Full of "JEALOUS HATERS"... just look at emily she's the "STUD HATER!"  The rest of "the angry 13" are her peons!           NO "BOOKS"... JUST "HATE"

[Emily]

So is this how the book is going to read? Because it kind of reads like something a middle school kid would do in "creative writing" class. At least Brian realized what a gem he had in you and Stan, even going as far as to exclaim "thanks for hiring Stan and Rocky!". This gives validation to everything you did, honestly. I especially like the nugget where you guys 'high five' each other and say "Right On, Brian!". This book should sell millions.

You're so uninterested... you're the first one to read my post... and the first one to POST... JEALOUSY is such an obvious "CHARACTER DEFECT"...  I "DARE" you to be the first "COWARD" to POST A CHAPTER OF YOUR BOOK!  

No! I want to be the first one to post a chapter of his book!

[rockrush3]

 Segment 8:  "Wha--Ooh"

     "You're in for a mind-blowing surprise.  The Golden Goose... The Wizard... Beach Boy extraordinaire Brian Wilson is now officially our hero!"
     While I was filling Marilyn in on the startling string of events, Stan and Brian came back into the family room where they seated themselves next to Marilyn.  I was standing and giving a blow-by-blow reenactment of our last couple of days, starting with Dennis falling into and scattering his drums and verbally accosting the fans while Brian stepped in and saved the show with his quick-thinking impromptu countdown of "Surfer Girl" to kick off the show... then the grasshopper debacle with Brian throwing up on this poor guy Ralph's shoes... continuing with the poor unsuspecting clown that was dancing by our hotel in a parade - that Brian mistook for Mike and whaled on -  climaxing with Brian's ferocious athletic surfer stomp of Mike's Love-apples backstage... and then the show-stopping "finale" follow-up explosion, in a makeup room, where Brian unleashed his kung-fu fists-of-fury on Mike who was cowering in a corner begging for mercy!  You could say that Brian opened up a can of "Whup Ass" on "The Clown!"
     "But the highlight of the whole thing, Marilyn," I emphasized, "Brian's most triumphant moment, was when he sneered at Mike, who was cowering in the corner, and defiantly shouted, "You're no cousin of mine, you fu*king  pu*sy... You're chickensh*t!"
     Marilyn was wide-eyed and couldn't believe I was talking about her mild-mannered husband.  She was half speechless and half choking back a laugh.  When she looked at Brian, who was calmly sitting there as if it were someone else I was talking about, and stated, "So you did it, Brian... You finally got Mike, didn't ya?!"  Without missing a beat, Brian merely said, "Just some unfinished business I should have taken care of a long time ago!"
     Stan and I high-fived each other while Marilyn just shook her head and marveled at the actions of her usually docile husband.  Then she said, "This doesn't mean you're turning into a brawler now does it, Brian?"  To which Brian flatly stated, "No, it means I'm nobody's doormat... ever again!  Especially that punk Mike's!"
     "Well, I hope you got this Mike thing out of your system," Marilyn concluded.
     "I have unless Mike gives me that arrogant look of his.  You should have seen the pus*y.  He didn't even fight back.  He's chickensh*t!"
     "Right on, Brian,"  Stan and I said in a congratulatory tone.
     "Well,"  Marilyn announced,  "I really don't know what to make of all this, don't know what to say, but I think this calls for a celebration.  We're going out to dinner.  Where do you wan't to go, Brian?"
     "Where else?"  Brian sang out,  "The Luau!"
     Beating Brian to the punch,  Stan added,  "And yes, Brian, you can have one grasshopper."
     Brian started singing  "Wha-Ooh,  werewolf in London.  Wha-Ooh,  werewolf in Beverly Hills... I saw a werewolf at the Luau drinking a pina colada.  His hair was silver - Wha-Ooh.  He was hustling a little hottie with a hot toddy - Wha-Ooh!"
     Marilyn, Stan, and I were all chiming in with Wha-Oohs of our own when the doorbell rang.  The door opened and in walked Stephen.  He had a look of bemused astonishment on his face.  "Wha-Oohs" were ringing out.
     Stephen, while laughing, asked, "What's going on?"
     "We're celebrating the new and improved Brian,"  Stan crowed.  I handed Stephen a flute of Dom Perignon.
     Marilyn hugged Stephen and said,  "We owe this all to you!  And we're going to the Luau.  And you're coming with us!"
     Brian put his arm around Stephen and said,  "Thanks for hiring Stan and Rocky!" followed by an exuberant  "Wha-Ooh."
     Marilyn said,  "I'm gonna call a limo.  We're all partying tonight.   Are you up for it, Steve?"
     Stephen raised his glass.  "You bet your Wha-Ooh!  A werewolf couldn't keep me away from this celebration.  Brian, you were really GREAT!  You know, I don't generally advocate violence, but knowing what we all know about Mike I can safely say this was long overdue... and well worth waiting for. You're the best, Brian!"
     Brian responded,  "Yeah, he had it coming.  Mike's a dick!"
     "Wha-Ooh," everyone sang out.
     "Wha-Ooh" indeed!  

SO CRY... BABY CRY... MAKE YOUR MOTHER SIGH... YOUR OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER... SO CRY... BABY CRY!

[SMiLE Brian]

I think rocky has a crush on emily!

[rockrush3]

I think rocky has a crush on emily!

It would take an elephant to CRUSH emily (I wish she would post a picture of her self)    They call me the "TRUMP of SMILE"...Bring it on!                                            In fact I "DARE"  "the angry 13" to POST A PICTURE OF YOURSELVES... since their all to COWARDLY TO POST A CHAPTER OF THEIR BOOKS!

[alf wiedersehen]

   Segment 9: Just Desserts

     We drove to the Luau when Def Leppard came on the radio, and we started punching each other in the car to the beat. The first one to bleed lost... Brian bit my shoulder, so I punched him in the nose. There was a lot of blood on the floor of the car so we called it even. "I'll get you next time" I said to Brian. Brian laughed. "Have I told you about how much I hate Dennis?" I asked him. The car stopped and we were at the Luau.
     "Time for food, boys!" Marilyn trilled.
     "I bet they have a lot of food here" Brian said to me softly.
     We got inside and started throwing dollar bills in the air... Brian told me that I'm a cool guy, and I told him that I knew that. I flexed a little bit.
     We walked to the maître d'hôtel and asked for a table. He told me the tables were full, so I told him that I could beat him up. He said "Wha-Ooh" and rushed to find us a table. We followed him while yelling at other people trying to eat because we were strong men and we beat people with fist. There wasn't any werewolves here. Finally, the stupid waiter found us a table. BUT THE TABLE HE FOUND US WAS NEXT TO MIKE.
     I heard a deep, guttural scream from Brian that I had never heard before or since. "p*ssy alert!" Brian screamed. "You know what I do to pussies?" I took a karate pose to show we meant business, and Brian smashed a wine bottle against the edge of the table. "I STAB PUSSIES," Big B yelled, forcing veins and tendons to push against the skin of his neck. That's when Brian ran over to Mike and shoved the jagged edge underneath his jawline, sending him to the floor.
    Mike was crying in a pool of his blood, so we high-fived each other a bunch. Then we high-fived more. Marilyn was pretty into it.
    Brian sat down and tried to order, but I picked him up and held him over my head and ran a block down the street. "What about my grasshopper," Brian asked between bounces.
    Stan was running after us yelling about how he stole Mike's hat and that he might have died or something. I don't know. I'm too strong for emotions.
    I placed Brian down on the pavement, but then decided to pick him back up again because lifting him was a good workout.
    "How many reps are you doing," Stan asked.
    "Probably, like, a thousand," I puffed.
    We got back to Brian's house and drank all of his liquor while he sat in a chair and stared us.
    "You did double good today, Bri-dawg" I belched.
    Brian smiled. "Maybe I do good tomorrow, too?"
    "We'll see."
   

[Pretty Funky]

... I will POST the final Segment: 8 of "Wha--Ooh" on Monday!  That will also be My Final Post on Smile!

....or maybe not!

[rockrush3]

  THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN DO?... Bubs?    Not bad... you're LEADING "the angry 13"... SO FAR YOUR THE WINNER!... Bubs (NICE NAME)    I had a dog named Bubs once...      he was a PUG!  You represent "the angry 13" PERFECTLY... they are going to love you!  At least you had the guts to post something!  Don't quit your day job!

[rockrush3]

... I will POST the final Segment: 8 of "Wha--Ooh" on Monday!  That will also be My Final Post on Smile!

....or maybe not!

Funky Monkey...My manager told me to keep POSTING until I'm OVER 100,000 reads      Besides I got "A BIG SURPRISE" FOR Y'ALL!  mike-y will like-it

[rockrush3]

 Segment 8:  "Wha--Ooh"

     "You're in for a mind-blowing surprise.  The Golden Goose... The Wizard... Beach Boy extraordinaire Brian Wilson is now officially our hero!"
     While I was filling Marilyn in on the startling string of events, Stan and Brian came back into the family room where they seated themselves next to Marilyn.  I was standing and giving a blow-by-blow reenactment of our last couple of days, starting with Dennis falling into and scattering his drums and verbally accosting the fans while Brian stepped in and saved the show with his quick-thinking impromptu countdown of "Surfer Girl" to kick off the show... then the grasshopper debacle with Brian throwing up on this poor guy Ralph's shoes... continuing with the poor unsuspecting clown that was dancing by our hotel in a parade - that Brian mistook for Mike and whaled on -  climaxing with Brian's ferocious athletic surfer stomp of Mike's Love-apples backstage... and then the show-stopping "finale" follow-up explosion, in a makeup room, where Brian unleashed his kung-fu fists-of-fury on Mike who was cowering in a corner begging for mercy!  You could say that Brian opened up a can of "Whup Ass" on "The Clown!"
     "But the highlight of the whole thing, Marilyn," I emphasized, "Brian's most triumphant moment, was when he sneered at Mike, who was cowering in the corner, and defiantly shouted, "You're no cousin of mine, you fu*king  pu*sy... You're chickensh*t!"
     Marilyn was wide-eyed and couldn't believe I was talking about her mild-mannered husband.  She was half speechless and half choking back a laugh.  When she looked at Brian, who was calmly sitting there as if it were someone else I was talking about, and stated, "So you did it, Brian... You finally got Mike, didn't ya?!"  Without missing a beat, Brian merely said, "Just some unfinished business I should have taken care of a long time ago!"
     Stan and I high-fived each other while Marilyn just shook her head and marveled at the actions of her usually docile husband.  Then she said, "This doesn't mean you're turning into a brawler now does it, Brian?"  To which Brian flatly stated, "No, it means I'm nobody's doormat... ever again!  Especially that punk Mike's!"
     "Well, I hope you got this Mike thing out of your system," Marilyn concluded.
     "I have unless Mike gives me that arrogant look of his.  You should have seen the pus*y.  He didn't even fight back.  He's chickensh*t!"
     "Right on, Brian,"  Stan and I said in a congratulatory tone.
     "Well,"  Marilyn announced,  "I really don't know what to make of all this, don't know what to say, but I think this calls for a celebration.  We're going out to dinner.  Where do you wan't to go, Brian?"
     "Where else?"  Brian sang out,  "The Luau!"
     Beating Brian to the punch,  Stan added,  "And yes, Brian, you can have one grasshopper."
     Brian started singing  "Wha-Ooh,  werewolf in London.  Wha-Ooh,  werewolf in Beverly Hills... I saw a werewolf at the Luau drinking a pina colada.  His hair was silver - Wha-Ooh.  He was hustling a little hottie with a hot toddy - Wha-Ooh!"
     Marilyn, Stan, and I were all chiming in with Wha-Oohs of our own when the doorbell rang.  The door opened and in walked Stephen.  He had a look of bemused astonishment on his face.  "Wha-Oohs" were ringing out.
     Stephen, while laughing, asked, "What's going on?"
     "We're celebrating the new and improved Brian,"  Stan crowed.  I handed Stephen a flute of Dom Perignon.
     Marilyn hugged Stephen and said,  "We owe this all to you!  And we're going to the Luau.  And you're coming with us!"
     Brian put his arm around Stephen and said,  "Thanks for hiring Stan and Rocky!" followed by an exuberant  "Wha-Ooh."
     Marilyn said,  "I'm gonna call a limo.  We're all partying tonight.   Are you up for it, Steve?"
     Stephen raised his glass.  "You bet your Wha-Ooh!  A werewolf couldn't keep me away from this celebration.  Brian, you were really GREAT!  You know, I don't generally advocate violence, but knowing what we all know about Mike I can safely say this was long overdue... and well worth waiting for. You're the best, Brian!"
     Brian responded,  "Yeah, he had it coming.  Mike's a dick!"
     "Wha-Ooh," everyone sang out.
     "Wha-Ooh" indeed!  

SO CRY... BABY CRY... MAKE YOUR MOTHER SIGH... YOUR OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER... SO CRY... BABY CRY!

  

[alf wiedersehen]

Don't quit your day job!

Thank you for assuming I have a job.
I don't--but it means a lot to me that you thought I did.

In fact I "DARE"  "the angry 13" to POST A PICTURE OF YOURSELVES...

Here you go, Rocky. I'm wearing lipstick in this one.

[rockrush3]

Don't quit your day job!

Thank you for assuming I have a job.
I don't--but it means a lot to me that you thought I did.

In fact I "DARE"  "the angry 13" to POST A PICTURE OF YOURSELVES...

Here you go, Rocky. I'm wearing lipstick in this one.

YOU HAVE MORE GUTS THAN THE ENTIRE  "angry 13"  BRAVO! ... Bubs!  

[SMiLE Brian]

Lock your doors bubs, Rocky is coming to brawl!

[rockrush3]

  I should be OVER 80,000 reads by the end of tomorrow...  100,000 reads?... MAYBE TWO MORE WEEKS...  

[mtaber]

Rocky, if we could get Charles Manson to start a thread, I think he'd EASILY be over 100,000 reads!

[Juice Brohnston]

I should be OVER 80,000 reads by the end of tomorrow...  100,000 reads?... MAYBE TWO MORE WEEKS...  

I just clicked in 10 times to do my part
#team100,000

[rockrush3]

Rocky, if we could get Charles Manson to start a thread, I think he'd EASILY be over 100,000 reads!

Aren't you... and the "angry 13" already Charlies disciples?

[rockrush3]

I should be OVER 80,000 reads by the end of tomorrow...  100,000 reads?... MAYBE TWO MORE WEEKS...  

I just clicked in 10 times to do my part
#team100,000

Thank You Juice...

[Andrew G. Doe]

I "DARE" you to be the first "COWARD" to POST A CHAPTER OF YOUR BOOK!    The World is Full of "JEALOUS HATERS"... just look at emily she's the "STUD HATER!"  The rest of "the angry 13" are her peons!           NO "BOOKS"... JUST "HATE"

My first book was published in 1984, before I was online: does that qualify as posting ? As for being jealous... of your "prose" (I use the word in its loosest possible context) ? As someone said once, I could eat Alphabetti Spaghetti and sh*t better than that.

As for a photo...

[mtaber]

Andrew - But...
CAN YOU SELL SMOKES???

[Andrew G. Doe]

I decline to trade in human misery & death for my own profit.

[SMiLE Brian]

Mtaber's zingers make me laugh out loud! He knows Rocky's insanity too well!

[Mr. Verlander]

So is this how the book is going to read? Because it kind of reads like something a middle school kid would do in "creative writing" class. At least Brian realized what a gem he had in you and Stan, even going as far as to exclaim "thanks for hiring Stan and Rocky!". This gives validation to everything you did, honestly. I especially like the nugget where you guys 'high five' each other and say "Right On, Brian!". This book should sell millions.

You're so uninterested... you're the first one to read my post... and the first one to POST... JEALOUSY is such an obvious "CHARACTER DEFECT"...  I "DARE" you to be the first "COWARD" to POST A CHAPTER OF YOUR BOOK!    The World is Full of "JEALOUS HATERS"... just look at emily she's the "STUD HATER!"  The rest of "the angry 13" are her peons!           NO "BOOKS"... JUST "HATE"

I'm uninterested? On the contrary, Rocker old boy-I'm quite taken by all of this.