POSNER PRODUCES NEW "Passing By"

[D Cunningham]

I have to share this…blew my mind…from The Late Reverend Arthur Belling Evermore Newsletter,
which, strangely enough, I continue to receive from across the pond.

Whitechapel, June 14, 2015.   The “Offices of Mr. Posner (ret’d)” announced today the release
of a new “modern” version of “Passing By” (Full Quotation Records, Ltd.).  This surprising, perhaps uncalled-for, release
by the veteran esteemed organist features a large cast of musical players and a surprising “today’s hip” result.  Drawing
from decades of experience, Posner has constructed a version of the famous Brian Wilson/Beach Boys song that seems
to equal the original and perhaps exceed it in a quality of self-reference.  “Our goal,” said Posner, “Was to do justice to each note
and intention of the original—to do no harm.”  He added that the recording is meant to praise Brian Wilson, the song’s creator,
while perhaps offering a new authenticity that might resonate with a new younger generation. Calling on the services
of some of England’s popular current singers (Smith, Perry), Posner was able to well estimate the harmonies involved.
Employing electronics and his uncanny sense of the keyboard-semblable, he was able to mirror the original Brian Wilson sounds.

Posner reported that a video of the song’s production was to include a shot of Beach Boy Mike Love adding his lower part
to the harmony.  “That actually didn’t happen, stated Posner, “because of a prior commitment of Love to an antique auto show
in Potomac, Maryland.”  He added, “We also had to shelve the take featuring Kanye West blowing into a jug, because of
a screeching sound that we couldn’t remove.”  The final result manages to duplicate the original Beach Boy voices
in the harmony and the arrangement and ambience of the original Beach Boys’ instrumental recording.  The video of the song
shows Posner, with local Whitechapel instrumentalists Jim T. and Pants Elk, and vocalists Pogo Mahone and Claude Akins
straining in a successful effort to duplicate the Beach Boys’ gem.   

Despite its brilliance, the recording has produced a small amount of controversy.  “It’s just the same goshdarn track,” stated
Capitol Records vice-president Peter Smits.  “Nothing’s different from the original.  Instruments…voices.  I don’t know who
these people are.”  Smits admitted that he couldn’t prove that the artists shown in the video made the released recording.
 “But you know,” he concluded, “Only true counterfeiters could produce something so equal to the original.” 

[Hank Briarstem]

As one would expect, Alan Boyd contacted me about this alleged "find," though it's clear he did no such thing. Alan asked me "Hank, is this the 'real deal,' or are we being led down a primrose path?'" "Both," I replied, then hung up as my cobbler was burning in the oven. My immediate reaction is to assume Mr. Posner is on the "up and up," as it were, as aside from that small incident involving a Mr. topgazza, his honesty has rarely been impugned -- at least in comparison to mine. Can we safely assume that not a man or woman jack among the people you named are able to sing even a single note? I think we can. But that doesn't change a thing, though I suppose my position my be thought absurd. Has anyone asked Stan Shantar? He would know. Unless he doesn't.

[D Cunningham]

Hank B:  I've read your posts, and have to guess that you are embellishing (I'm being
kind) here and there. Like Carl Wilson in his "Australia" phase.  To suggest that A. Boyd
is your contact...well...last time I spoke with him he didn't know the difference between
a primrose and a prime number.  Although he knew a little about impatiens.   

[Hank Briarstem]

While your rather uncharitable reference to my drinking problem is, at best, wholly accurate, I must remind you that I taught Boyd everything he knows about gardening and recommended impatiens as I seriously doubted that a novice could be successful with orchids. That Boyd based “Channel Surfing” on my life, if one could call this miserable existence life, is a matter of public record, though not in any verifiable venues. As to whether, I am embellishing, yes but only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I am a vegetarian the remainder of each week, though I do eat meat. While it is true that Boyd failed at his 6th grade spelling bee by having spelled "prime number" rather than "primrose," as instructed, I hardly think this failure should follow him the rest of his life, though I don't think it should be forgotten or expunged from his record. After all, my ex-wives forget nothing.

The fact of the matter is Posner won that spelling bee, and the two men have hated each other since, though they do occasionally golf and share an interest in macramé.

[puni puni]

So... somebody covered "Passing By"...? Any links?

[D Cunningham]

PP:   Sorry for the lag in my responding…the story deepens.  A friend from Whitechapel allowed me
to hear the production (evidently pressed as an old-fashioned vinyl 45) over my cell phone.
It sounded like the original Beach Boys version but in bad quality—like a 45 played on a phonograph
and sent over a phone.  This is more weird:  The friend stated that a restraining order (he called it
an “epoxy wicket”) has caused the records to be embargoed.  I may be the only person over here who
has heard it. So I guess I’m the link for now.  I’m trying to get my friend, General Aldo, to contact Andrew Doe.   

[Hank Briarstem]

Donald, old chap, was your impression that a nickel had been taped to the arm of the phonograph? Keep in mind this is the clue that prevented me from passing off my version of "Kiss Me Baby" as original and led to my break with Manson.

[D Cunningham]

Hah hah!  I definitely couldn't make that out.  I do hope Andrew D. can help us.
Gen. Aldo told me he thinks the Peter Smits character is some sort of Capitol liaison
within the Universal Music Group, based in London.  I bet he has a copy of the 45.

[Hank Briarstem]

Charlatan perhaps? Thank goodness Doe is on the case.

[Loaf]

Yawn.

anyone else get the feeling that D Cunningham is just speaking to himself via 2 different user names?

[Hank Briarstem]

How did you suss it out, Meat?

[D Cunningham]

...which makes 3 now. Yes, Mr. Loaf?

(4 if you also include "Billy C.")

[Hank Briarstem]

We'd have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids and their mangy dog.