The Many Moods of Al Jardine

[Mike's Beard]

Fine news, Mike's Beard. Fine indeed. So you too have listened to "Belles of Paris" backward? I did so first purely by accident when I inadvertently plugged my car stereo into AC, badly burning my hand. But I have listened many times since and clearly hear Mike telling Al, "Careful what you spread." Or I believe the voice to be Mike's. Carol Kaye claims it is her voice.

I rushed out and preordered 14 copies for myself and various friends and family. However in my haste I forgot to factor in that I don't currently own a laserdisc player , nor have I ever owned one. If someone is willing to let me come over theirs and watch it I will gladly offer them a 30 second sample of any released BB track of their choosing.

[Douchepool]

Such silliness for (presumably) adults.

Amazed that there are actually SEVERAL people that would spend time doing "this" rather than simply looking at porn.

Sometimes people like to unwind. Some would rather watch porn, some would rather engage in ridiculous alternate Beach Boys histories. Besides, how do you know we're not watching porn while doing this, anyway?

[Hank Briarstem]

Ah yes, porn! A favorite addiction of mine, though I’ve never actually seen any. I did listen to “Winchester Cathedral” once. My second wife’s lazy brother-in-law often referred to porn as “my avenue for relaxation and recreation,” but he lost credibility when he married the panda.

[Douchepool]

If not for porn, we might never have had a Love You album.

[Hank Briarstem]

Strange that Brian has always attributed the inspiration for Love You to Proust. While it can be credibly claimed, though just as credibly denied, that Brian was indeed in his "Proust Period" while recording the album, I have often thought the inspiration more likely to have been Flaubert, to whom Proust owes much. Now there is little question that Proust was the inspiration for "Marcella," and Dennis Wilson said as much in an interview with Rolling Stone, though perhaps not.

[Douchepool]

Whew, it's time for me to masturbate. *changes the porn video*

[Pretty Funky]

Such silliness for (presumably) adults.

Amazed that there are actually SEVERAL people that would spend time doing "this" rather than simply looking at porn.

I suppose you are another Zeppo Wilson denier as well?

[Douchepool]

Such silliness for (presumably) adults.

Amazed that there are actually SEVERAL people that would spend time doing "this" rather than simply looking at porn.

I suppose you are another Zippo Wilson denier as well?

Quit complaining and watch porn like Howie would.

[Pretty Funky]

As to the influence of Al’s butter on the music, look no further than Brian’s sublime “Melt Away.”

For years we accused Al of looking like he 'was waiting for a bus'. It is all becoming clear now. He was in fact looking like 'he was churning butter', and it could explain his need for white suits?

[Hank Briarstem]

Recall the Sunflower album cover. Al wasn't quite prepared to "come out." He found a middle ground. But he was telling us "I am a man of the cow. I am a man of butter." I recall him telling me "I am a man of the cow. I am a man of butter." I asked him about cheese, and he cursed me as a Philistine.

[Cam Mott]

"Churning his butter" is what Al was up to while watching porn, so you can understand the confusion.

[Hank Briarstem]

Exactly Cam! And might I say that you are unusually perceptive. Al, in the truest sense, is you, and he is me. He is Everyman. He wishes to churn his butter without the malice of bigotry and without appearing on Access Hollywood.

[Cam Mott]

I only hope I live long enough to hear his long anticipated and copiously rerecorded epic songcycle "Buttermilk Is Free".

[Hank Briarstem]

Sad that his perfectionism, his drive to make the greatest record of all-time, has paralyzed him in this manner. Those who have attended sessions claim it will change everything.

[Cam Mott]

Hhhhmmmm.

[Hank Briarstem]

That you can hum the first two bars tells me all I need to know about your contacts. You are the Real Deal, or perhaps the Teal Deal.

[Cam Mott]

Well, I don't like to brag but I did once help Brad Elliott move one middle of the night.

[Hank Briarstem]

Brad appreciated it, I'm told, though he referred to you often as "the male Carol Kaye."

[Cam Mott]

Aaaahhhh, that's so Brad! That card.

[Hank Briarstem]

Remember when he wore the Bruce Johnston mask to Grillo's masquerade party and became incensed when people mistook his costume for Manilow? Good times! That was before the indigestion, of course.

[Cyncie]

Sad that his perfectionism, his drive to make the greatest record of all-time, has paralyzed him in this manner. Those who have attended sessions claim it will change everything.

If only The Beatles hadn't beaten him to the punch by releasing "I am the Walrus" before that masterpiece, MoO, could be finished.

[Hank Briarstem]

Tragic, but consider that Al was all but a one-man show competing against Lennon and McCartney, even Harrison as a songwriter. And Martin in the studio. The pressure was enormous. None of them, by the way, had cows to milk or butter to churn. Al confided to me one day, "How did you get this number?"

[D Cunningham]

Even in this craziness, some light shines.  I recall that, during the long walk
to his "Postcards" album, he considered many album titles, including:

I Can't Believe It's Not Al Jardine

[Hank Briarstem]

Al's sunny personality belies a complicated inner man. It's not for nothing Harrison wrote "Within You Without You" about him and dedicated his book, "Aye Freddie" to him as well. Lennon claimed the Beatles would have stayed together into the 70s had they "had a man like Al in the band, a man who could make a creamery butter to remember." Clearly Bruce Johnston was jealous and composed "Dierdre" to taunt Al. But the two men found common ground in cottage cheese.

[Cyncie]

Clearly Bruce Johnston was jealous and composed "Dierdre" to taunt Al. But the two men found common ground in cottage cheese.

Hence the origins of the phrases to "Butter one up," and "cheesy."