Mike Love "Vibe Room" Q&A

[Amy B.]

He said drugs wasn't his biggest regret. He said it had the biggest impact on their lives.

TT: “What is the biggest regret you have for about your career and life?”

ML: “It’s not a regret, but the biggest thing that impacted our lives is drugs."

However, the question WAS about regret. You would think, having reached his 70s, he would be a bit more self-reflective instead of turning it around to be about other people's choices. He certainly wasn't asked about drugs...he brought it up. And he didn't have to. It's just that while the Wilson brothers did do drugs, stating that over and over needlessly simplifies things. Drugs didn't directly contribute to the BBs decline, did it? Carl didn't die from drugs. And Brian also has issues with mental health that may have exacerbated his drug issues. Plus (and this may be more on the interviewer than on Mike), there is no mention of the Wilsons other than that. What you get from this interview about the Beach Boys is that John Stamos is worthy of a paragraph, while the Wilsons are worthy of a caution about drug use.

[MyDrKnowsItKeepsMeCalm]

I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask all of you to leave The Vibe Room.

[SMiLE Brian]

I was thrown out by Bruce.

[Cam Mott]

As long as he's tactful, I think Mike should absolutely mention that his cousins did drugs and they paid heavy for doing so. He had first hand experience of seeing it up close and saw how it can wreck your life. So as a tale of caution it certainly has it's worth - BUT the question at hand was clearly about any regrets Mike had about what HE had done throughout his life, so to dodge it and turn back to be about the Wilsons was to use his own phrase "chickenshit".

He was asked about his "career AND life".

[Amy B.]

I don't know why I comment on Mike threads. Mike is Mike. He's not introspective, and he doesn't seem to recognize or try to improve upon his own faults--at least, not openly. He just recognizes faults in other people and how they impacted him. That's just how he is. He was never going to say, "One thing that maybe wasn't such a great idea is all the lawsuits. Maybe I should have dialed that back in the interest of family harmony." Or you know, "Maybe that TV movie wasn't so fair to Brian." Or even, "You know, I don't have regrets. We all have flaws, but I'm not going to lay the blame on anyone, because it's in the past." He's just not that kind of person.

It annoys me, because I tend to measure people on how they try to make up for mistakes they've made. And everyone has made mistakes, and everyone can be better. But that's just Mike. Just like Brian won't become a loquacious interviewee. That's just Brian. To me, Mike's lack of growth (sorry) and self-reflection makes him seem unlikable. But hey, maybe he goes to therapy and hashes all this stuff out and totally reflects on how he can improve himself. Who are we to know?

[CenturyDeprived]

I don't know why I comment on Mike threads. Mike is Mike. He's not introspective, and he doesn't seem to recognize or try to improve upon his own faults--at least, not openly. He just recognizes faults in other people and how they impacted him. That's just how he is. He was never going to say, "One thing that maybe wasn't such a great idea is all the lawsuits. Maybe I should have dialed that back in the interest of family harmony." Or you know, "Maybe that TV movie wasn't so fair to Brian." Or even, "You know, I don't have regrets. We all have flaws, but I'm not going to lay the blame on anyone, because it's in the past." He's just not that kind of person.

It annoys me, because I tend to measure people on how they try to make up for mistakes they've made. And everyone has made mistakes, and everyone can be better. But that's just Mike. Just like Brian won't become a loquacious interviewee. That's just Brian. To me, Mike's lack of growth (sorry) and self-reflection makes him seem unlikable. But hey, maybe he goes to therapy and hashes all this stuff out and totally reflects on how he can improve himself. Who are we to know?

I would be extraordinary surprised if Mike has ever attended therapy, except perhaps the brief early 70s incident where he totally lost it.
He's just not the type of person for a LOT of things.

[The Cincinnati Kid]

I don't know why I comment on Mike threads. Mike is Mike. He's not introspective, and he doesn't seem to recognize or try to improve upon his own faults--at least, not openly. He just recognizes faults in other people and how they impacted him. That's just how he is. He was never going to say, "One thing that maybe wasn't such a great idea is all the lawsuits. Maybe I should have dialed that back in the interest of family harmony." Or you know, "Maybe that TV movie wasn't so fair to Brian." Or even, "You know, I don't have regrets. We all have flaws, but I'm not going to lay the blame on anyone, because it's in the past." He's just not that kind of person.

It annoys me, because I tend to measure people on how they try to make up for mistakes they've made. And everyone has made mistakes, and everyone can be better. But that's just Mike. Just like Brian won't become a loquacious interviewee. That's just Brian. To me, Mike's lack of growth (sorry) and self-reflection makes him seem unlikable. But hey, maybe he goes to therapy and hashes all this stuff out and totally reflects on how he can improve himself. Who are we to know?

I would be extraordinary surprised if Mike has ever attended therapy, except perhaps the brief early 70s incident where he totally lost it.
He's just not the type of person for a LOT of things.

What incident is that?  What happened?

[Pretty Funky]

Why would he do that? We have you to tell us that. Tell us Mike's biggest regret, would you? That doesn't involve other people doing drugs. Talk and/or discuss.

His own multiple marriages, relationships and casualties associated along the way should at least be worth a mention rather than the usual "drugs, alcohol and Manson' line for his cousins IMO.

[Chocolate Shake Man]

It seems to me he answered that he really doesn't have a regret about his life and career.

Which is astounding. I should also note that this conversation is happening at the same time as the thread titled, "Did Landy ever realize he did anything wrong?" Not to say that Mike ever did anything on the scale of Landy but the inability to recognize anything about your own actions in your entire life that you hadn't done is just completely bizarre to me.

Maybe Mike knows more about his life and career than you think you do.

I'm quite certain he does. What does this have to do with anything I said?

This: "... the inability to recognize anything about your own actions in your entire life that you hadn't done is just completely bizarre to me."

Well, in that quotation I didn't presume that I knew anything about Mike Love other than the fact that he's not an alien. So, again, I fail to see how the remark is relevant. I did make an error in that sentence that you quote though in that for some reason I said "that you hadn't done" when I meant "that you wish you hadn't done" (a consequence, I'm afraid, of typing out my messages very quickly). If that's the source of confusion, I apologize.

[CenturyDeprived]

I don't know why I comment on Mike threads. Mike is Mike. He's not introspective, and he doesn't seem to recognize or try to improve upon his own faults--at least, not openly. He just recognizes faults in other people and how they impacted him. That's just how he is. He was never going to say, "One thing that maybe wasn't such a great idea is all the lawsuits. Maybe I should have dialed that back in the interest of family harmony." Or you know, "Maybe that TV movie wasn't so fair to Brian." Or even, "You know, I don't have regrets. We all have flaws, but I'm not going to lay the blame on anyone, because it's in the past." He's just not that kind of person.

It annoys me, because I tend to measure people on how they try to make up for mistakes they've made. And everyone has made mistakes, and everyone can be better. But that's just Mike. Just like Brian won't become a loquacious interviewee. That's just Brian. To me, Mike's lack of growth (sorry) and self-reflection makes him seem unlikable. But hey, maybe he goes to therapy and hashes all this stuff out and totally reflects on how he can improve himself. Who are we to know?

I would be extraordinary surprised if Mike has ever attended therapy, except perhaps the brief early 70s incident where he totally lost it.
He's just not the type of person for a LOT of things.

What incident is that?  What happened?

I'm referring to when Mike fasted and had some sort of breakdown in 1970. 

http://smileysmile.net/board/index.php?action=printpage;topic=9157.0

[Mikie]

I just wanna know one thing. With 2169 posts under your belt, I can tell you've posted here for quite awhile. So who (what alias) were you before, Chocolate Shake Man? I know you're not hiding behind a new or second alias.  Just curious - don't be offended!

[Cam Mott]

It seems to me he answered that he really doesn't have a regret about his life and career.

Which is astounding. I should also note that this conversation is happening at the same time as the thread titled, "Did Landy ever realize he did anything wrong?" Not to say that Mike ever did anything on the scale of Landy but the inability to recognize anything about your own actions in your entire life that you hadn't done is just completely bizarre to me.

Maybe Mike knows more about his life and career than you think you do.

I'm quite certain he does. What does this have to do with anything I said?

This: "... the inability to recognize anything about your own actions in your entire life that you hadn't done is just completely bizarre to me."

Well, in that quotation I didn't presume that I knew anything about Mike Love other than the fact that he's not an alien. So, again, I fail to see how the remark is relevant. I did make an error in that sentence that you quote though in that for some reason I said "that you hadn't done" when I meant "that you wish you hadn't done" (a consequence, I'm afraid, of typing out my messages very quickly). If that's the source of confusion, I apologize.

No I took it you were referring to Mike and presuming he had done something wrong and had an inability to regret it which you found bizarre?  My apologies if I misunderstood you.

[CenturyDeprived]

It seems to me he answered that he really doesn't have a regret about his life and career.

Seriously, do you really truthfully believe that is true? Even you must admit that it is surely just a quick go-to answer because he doesn't want to discuss anything personal. And you can feel that this is a perfectly acceptable way for Mike to be, but let's at least call it for what it is: avoidance. Nobody has no personal regrets. I don't buy it, and I don't really think that in your heart of hearts you actually buy it either.

It seems I won't get a response to my query to you, because (much like the topic at hand), there's avoidance going on here. A person practicing avoidance while defending another chronic avoider.  Heaven forbid, but if Mike had inadvertently directly caused a car crash by speeding, resulting in someone's death, and he continued in subsequent interviews with the "no regrets" stance, you'd also probably continue with your unwavering belief that he actually has no personal regrets, right? That's the next logical step.

The thought that he surely does have personal (non Wilson drug-related) regrets, maybe even (50) big ones, but just refuses to talk about them and intentionally distracts from the question being posed to him is just not ever possible to you, huh?   It's his right to do that, but let's be real here, and not bury our heads in the sand and actually believe that it's anything but that.

[Mujan, 8@$+@Rc| of a Blue Wizard]

He told you.

Not really. He dodged the question and rephrased his answer to a previous question. Most people's greatest regrets involve mistakes they've made or things they wish they didn't do. I guess Mike has transcended all that and is a perfect being free of such petty human errors. Remorse? Bah! The f*cker can levitate. What could he possibly have done to feel repentant about?

It'd just be refreshing to see the guy fess up to making a mistake or two, acting a little out of line once, getting drunk at an awards show, that kind of thing. Rather than pointing out once again that his cousins did drugs decades ago.

Amen. A substantial part of why there is a great deal of well-documented frustration towards the man, to put it mildly, is because he never publicly admits to doing anything wrong. And I mean ever. It's always somebody else who takes the fall. I should add that it drives me crazy to know people who are like that in general, it's not exclusive to Mike by any means. That's one of the worst traits a person can have.

Exactly. That's my one real complaint with him. I could forget everything else if he just acted a bit more humbly and self-awareness for once. His hardcore defenders on here too, if you would just give an *inch* and admit that the man isn't perfect it'd go a long way.

[CenturyDeprived]

He told you.

Not really. He dodged the question and rephrased his answer to a previous question. Most people's greatest regrets involve mistakes they've made or things they wish they didn't do. I guess Mike has transcended all that and is a perfect being free of such petty human errors. Remorse? Bah! The f*cker can levitate. What could he possibly have done to feel repentant about?

It'd just be refreshing to see the guy fess up to making a mistake or two, acting a little out of line once, getting drunk at an awards show, that kind of thing. Rather than pointing out once again that his cousins did drugs decades ago.

Amen. A substantial part of why there is a great deal of well-documented frustration towards the man, to put it mildly, is because he never publicly admits to doing anything wrong. And I mean ever. It's always somebody else who takes the fall. I should add that it drives me crazy to know people who are like that in general, it's not exclusive to Mike by any means. That's one of the worst traits a person can have.

Exactly. That's my one real complaint with him. I could forget everything else if he just acted a bit more humbly and self-awareness for once. His hardcore defenders on here too, if you would just give an *inch* and admit that the man isn't perfect it'd go a long way.

Mike must be a huge fan/admirer of The Fonz, who also can't ever say he's sorry or wrong.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwkU8-d1gIk

Maybe Mike can work in a Fonz tribute and sing "Fonz, Fonz, Fonz" for a few shows.  

[Cam Mott]

It seems to me he answered that he really doesn't have a regret about his life and career.

Seriously, do you really truthfully believe that is true? Even you must admit that it is surely just a quick go-to answer because he doesn't want to discuss anything personal. And you can feel that this is a perfectly acceptable way for Mike to be, but let's at least call it for what it is: avoidance. Nobody has no personal regrets. I don't buy it, and I don't really think that in your heart of hearts you actually buy it either.

It seems I won't get a response to my query to you, because (much like the topic at hand), there's avoidance going on here. A person practicing avoidance while defending another chronic avoider.  Heaven forbid, but if Mike had inadvertently directly caused a car crash by speeding, resulting in someone's death, and he continued in subsequent interviews with the "no regrets" stance, you'd also probably continue with your unwavering belief that he actually has no personal regrets, right? That's the next logical step.

The thought that he surely does have personal (non Wilson drug-related) regrets, maybe even (50) big ones, but just refuses to talk about them and intentionally distracts from the question being posed to him is just not ever possible to you, huh?   It's his right to do that, but let's be real here, and not bury our heads in the sand and actually believe that it's anything but that.

I don't know. You read the same thing I did. Why don't you ask him on his next Q & A instead of speculating something beyond his words?

[elnombre]

He told you.

Not really. He dodged the question and rephrased his answer to a previous question. Most people's greatest regrets involve mistakes they've made or things they wish they didn't do. I guess Mike has transcended all that and is a perfect being free of such petty human errors. Remorse? Bah! The f*cker can levitate. What could he possibly have done to feel repentant about?

It'd just be refreshing to see the guy fess up to making a mistake or two, acting a little out of line once, getting drunk at an awards show, that kind of thing. Rather than pointing out once again that his cousins did drugs decades ago.

Amen. A substantial part of why there is a great deal of well-documented frustration towards the man, to put it mildly, is because he never publicly admits to doing anything wrong. And I mean ever. It's always somebody else who takes the fall. I should add that it drives me crazy to know people who are like that in general, it's not exclusive to Mike by any means. That's one of the worst traits a person can have.

Exactly. That's my one real complaint with him. I could forget everything else if he just acted a bit more humbly and self-awareness for once. His hardcore defenders on here too, if you would just give an *inch* and admit that the man isn't perfect it'd go a long way.

So you think when he basically admitted he'd been an alcoholic at one point, he wasn't saying there was anything wrong with that?

[CenturyDeprived]

It seems to me he answered that he really doesn't have a regret about his life and career.

Seriously, do you really truthfully believe that is true? Even you must admit that it is surely just a quick go-to answer because he doesn't want to discuss anything personal. And you can feel that this is a perfectly acceptable way for Mike to be, but let's at least call it for what it is: avoidance. Nobody has no personal regrets. I don't buy it, and I don't really think that in your heart of hearts you actually buy it either.

It seems I won't get a response to my query to you, because (much like the topic at hand), there's avoidance going on here. A person practicing avoidance while defending another chronic avoider.  Heaven forbid, but if Mike had inadvertently directly caused a car crash by speeding, resulting in someone's death, and he continued in subsequent interviews with the "no regrets" stance, you'd also probably continue with your unwavering belief that he actually has no personal regrets, right? That's the next logical step.

The thought that he surely does have personal (non Wilson drug-related) regrets, maybe even (50) big ones, but just refuses to talk about them and intentionally distracts from the question being posed to him is just not ever possible to you, huh?   It's his right to do that, but let's be real here, and not bury our heads in the sand and actually believe that it's anything but that.

I don't know. You read the same thing I did. Why don't you ask him on his next Q & A instead of speculating something beyond his words?

He's clearly not going to answer any questions he doesn't want to answer, because he will just say the same responsibility-avoiding/Wilsons-were-druggies stuff we've heard him say for decades. But good job at avoiding my question I posed to you once again. You've learned well from Doctor Love.

[Chocolate Shake Man]

No I took it you were referring to Mike and presuming he had done something wrong and had an inability to regret it which you found bizarre?  My apologies if I misunderstood you.

I do believe he's done some things wrong, yes, since he is a human being. I don't know if he has an inability to regret it. It was actually you who made the assumption about what Mike believes when you argue that his answer suggests that he "doesn't have a regret about his life and career." If that is the case, and you are the one making it, then maybe it's possible that he does have "an inability to regret" the wrong things that he's inevitably done. But I'm not the one making presumptions here (unless assuming that Mike has done regretful things is a presumption, in which case it would also be a presumption that he breathes air).

[Cam Mott]

No I took it you were referring to Mike and presuming he had done something wrong and had an inability to regret it which you found bizarre?  My apologies if I misunderstood you.

I do believe he's done some things wrong, yes, since he is a human being. I don't know if he has an inability to regret it. It was actually you who made the assumption about what Mike believes when you argue that his answer suggests that he "doesn't have a regret about his life and career." If that is the case, and you are the one making it, then maybe it's possible that he does have "an inability to regret" the wrong things that he's inevitably done. But I'm not the one making presumptions here (unless assuming that Mike has done regretful things is a presumption, in which case it would also be a presumption that he breathes air).

Do you. "It seems to me he answered that he really doesn't have a regret about his life and career."  It seems to me like an interpretation rather than an assumption or a presumption.

[HeyJude]

I was glad to see Mike avoiding the old "Brian/Carl/Dennis did drugs" mantra during his discourse about T.M. Maybe he's finally realized he doesn't have to hammer on that to make his point.

Sorry to disappoint.

http://www.shreveporttimes.com/story/entertainment/arts/2015/03/11/beach-boys-mike-love-opens-career-life/70161422/

That's a pretty awesome interview I have to say. I love this question and answer (emphasis is mine):

TT: "What is the biggest regret you have for about your career and life?"

ML: "It's not a regret, but the biggest thing that impacted our lives is drugs. ... Other than that, I can't complain. Last year we did 142 shows and we've traveled the world and had great success. There's way more positive things to be appreciative of with our group than negatives, that's for sure."

It's like having a job review, and they ask you to name something you could have done better, and your answer is "I'm kind of upset that other people are such a***oles to me."

I'm willing to give Mike the benefit of the doubt and take note of the fact that like folks like McCartney, he gets asked a lot of the same questions, and he's pre-programmed to give the same answers. Like "What did you have lunch for today?" "Transcendental meditation." Or "What's your favorite track from the 70's?" "Well, one we wrote about a decade after the 70s was 'Kokomo'."

Anyway, I get it, it's easy to go into autopilot on these interviews, especially if it's a quickie interview, probably on the phone, riding to a gig or something. But c'mon man, does it really have to so often be something so negative about *other* people, especially when it cost at least one of them the ultimate price of their lives, while one of them has picked up their life pretty well all things considered? You can't start an answer with something utterly negative (not to mention that the whole drug issue with members of the band is pretty well an "asked and answered" sort of issue at this stage), and then immediately go into "Mr. Positivity" mode.

[HeyJude]

No I took it you were referring to Mike and presuming he had done something wrong and had an inability to regret it which you found bizarre?  My apologies if I misunderstood you.

I do believe he's done some things wrong, yes, since he is a human being. I don't know if he has an inability to regret it. It was actually you who made the assumption about what Mike believes when you argue that his answer suggests that he "doesn't have a regret about his life and career." If that is the case, and you are the one making it, then maybe it's possible that he does have "an inability to regret" the wrong things that he's inevitably done. But I'm not the one making presumptions here (unless assuming that Mike has done regretful things is a presumption, in which case it would also be a presumption that he breathes air).

Do you. "It seems to me he answered that he really doesn't have a regret about his life and career."  It seems to me like an interpretation rather than an assumption or a presumption.

In these interviews, it reminds me a lot of college. Someone would be asked about a certain specific aspect of a book we were reading, and they would clearly not be familiar with whatever was being asked (whether plot details or themes or the style of criticism), so they would talk at length, but just about something *else* that they *were* familiar with.

Ironically, college professors are apparently much better at catching onto this stall-and-divert tactic that some interviewers are. 

[Mujan, 8@$+@Rc| of a Blue Wizard]

He told you.

Not really. He dodged the question and rephrased his answer to a previous question. Most people's greatest regrets involve mistakes they've made or things they wish they didn't do. I guess Mike has transcended all that and is a perfect being free of such petty human errors. Remorse? Bah! The f*cker can levitate. What could he possibly have done to feel repentant about?

It'd just be refreshing to see the guy fess up to making a mistake or two, acting a little out of line once, getting drunk at an awards show, that kind of thing. Rather than pointing out once again that his cousins did drugs decades ago.

Amen. A substantial part of why there is a great deal of well-documented frustration towards the man, to put it mildly, is because he never publicly admits to doing anything wrong. And I mean ever. It's always somebody else who takes the fall. I should add that it drives me crazy to know people who are like that in general, it's not exclusive to Mike by any means. That's one of the worst traits a person can have.

Exactly. That's my one real complaint with him. I could forget everything else if he just acted a bit more humbly and self-awareness for once. His hardcore defenders on here too, if you would just give an *inch* and admit that the man isn't perfect it'd go a long way.

So you think when he basically admitted he'd been an alcoholic at one point, he wasn't saying there was anything wrong with that?

I didn't watch this particular interview. What exactly did he say?

[Cam Mott]

It seems to me he answered that he really doesn't have a regret about his life and career.

Seriously, do you really truthfully believe that is true? Even you must admit that it is surely just a quick go-to answer because he doesn't want to discuss anything personal. And you can feel that this is a perfectly acceptable way for Mike to be, but let's at least call it for what it is: avoidance. Nobody has no personal regrets. I don't buy it, and I don't really think that in your heart of hearts you actually buy it either.

It seems I won't get a response to my query to you, because (much like the topic at hand), there's avoidance going on here. A person practicing avoidance while defending another chronic avoider.  Heaven forbid, but if Mike had inadvertently directly caused a car crash by speeding, resulting in someone's death, and he continued in subsequent interviews with the "no regrets" stance, you'd also probably continue with your unwavering belief that he actually has no personal regrets, right? That's the next logical step.

The thought that he surely does have personal (non Wilson drug-related) regrets, maybe even (50) big ones, but just refuses to talk about them and intentionally distracts from the question being posed to him is just not ever possible to you, huh?   It's his right to do that, but let's be real here, and not bury our heads in the sand and actually believe that it's anything but that.

I don't know. You read the same thing I did. Why don't you ask him on his next Q & A instead of speculating something beyond his words?

He's clearly not going to answer any questions he doesn't want to answer, because he will just say the same responsibility-avoiding/Wilsons-were-druggies stuff we've heard him say for decades. But good job at avoiding my question I posed to you once again. You've learned well from Doctor Love.

I answered your question, it was "I don't know". Whatever Mike may or may not do wouldn't keep you from asking if you are interested in an answer. He will know, I don't.

[Chocolate Shake Man]

Do you.

Do I what? Believe he's done some things that might be considered regrettable? Of course! Who on earth hasn't?

"It seems to me he answered that he really doesn't have a regret about his life and career."  It seems to me like an interpretation rather than an assumption or a presumption.

Fair enough. But wouldn't you say that when there are people on here who are saying he's avoiding the question that they are interpreting as well?