Hal asked a question about the S.T.A.M.O.S. system in another thread, and I thought it was time somebody came clean.
I really like how John gets all those ladies hot and bothered at the gigs, as evidenced by the clip of Ventura County fair Stebbins linked the other day.
How can we use this to get ourselves laid ? John can't possibly satisfy all these women himself, can he?
The S.T.A.M.O.S. system
What is it?
The S.T.A.M.O.S. system:
S is for Smile. You gotta lure 'em in with that pretty smile of yours. Makes for a great first impression.
T is for Teeth.Once you've lured 'em in, you better hope those whites are pearly (and white, for that matter). Your teeth say a lot about you, and Stamos knows this. He's harnessed this power. To perfect his smile, he traveled many long paths to find the best teeth in prospective mouths. His teeth are not his own.
A is for Arrogance.Women
love arrogance. Continually tell them how accomplished you are. They're lucky just to be out with you. Constantly make fake phone calls to business prospects; put the initial calls on hold to make more calls. Now that you're close to having her sufficiently reeled in, ask to borrow her phone. Talk on both phones at once. You've sealed the deal.
M is for Marinades.Now that she's under your spell, you should be able to convince her to come to your house. Cook for her using the Stamos Marinade™. Assure her that it's better than anything she could make herself. Let her know that if she wants any chance with you, she better be willing to learn how to cook. It's the only one way you'll love her. Disregard protest. You're on the right path: women love to know they're valued.
O is for Orgasm.This is perhaps the most important one of all. During love-making, you're going to want to ignore the woman. Achieve orgasm as many times as possible - it will impress her.
S is for Security.She's probably proposed marriage. Accept. Now that you've reached this step, never let her leave home. Assure her that this is for her safety. You've found your woman and you can't let her get away.
There it is. Please use with caution, as this is dangerously effective.
