Hate to be a downer

[Moz from Oz]

Sorry if this topic is inappropriate for this forum. Maybe it's part of my healing process because I'm in a dark place at the moment. After a wonderful 17 year marriage, it seems it may have run its course due to the fact my wife says she's no longer "in love" with me. It's not over yet as we will go through counseling but I'm resigned to the fact that it likely is. Thankfully there is no third party involved, just a case of her growing apart from me, which both of us take responsibility for. The point being, as I'm a gentle soul, I gravitate towards the deeper, melancholy side of Brian's music. Many people use The Beach Boys music as a source of inspiration and use it to get through rough patches in life. I however, am finding it to painful and difficult. How can I listen to Pet Sounds and not be upset ? Am I looking at things the wrong way and do I  try and find a positive message in their sadder songs ? Do I not listen to them and just listen to light and fluffy songs for want of a better term ? Anybody else been in a similar situation and did the music get you through. Sorry for the ramble, not really thinking clearly at the moment. Just grieving my marriage and am in a world of pain. Please help !!

[Cabinessenceking]

The Warmth Of The Sun.

Cry your heart out and a new day begins with which everything new life can offer may present itself to you.

[SonicVolcano]

The Pet Sounds album, I'd say.

I wish you all the best.

[Lowbacca]

How can I listen to Pet Sounds and not be upset ?

Exactly.

[?]

There's no reason to bum yourself out, especially with one of your favorite bands.  If you're not feeling a certain album/song/whatever right now, put it aside and come back to it when you're ready.

[Jason]

I moved this here because it's more Sandbox than On Topic.

Best wishes to you, Moz. Take things one day at a time. Pet Sounds is healing music for a reason. It has probably helped us all through tough times in life. It doesn't tell us what we want to hear, but what we need to hear.

[filledeplage]

I moved this here because it's more Sandbox than On Topic.

Best wishes to you, Moz. Take things one day at a time. Pet Sounds is healing music for a reason. It has probably helped us all through tough times in life. It doesn't tell us what we want to hear, but what we need to hear.

Yes, RBB, and Moz, listen to your own heart beat, in a quiet place, and try to get your head to the "place" before the relationship - who YOU were, and what YOU liked, and I bet you'll find someone you really like, with a "wish list" of your own, that marriage tends to put on hold.  Whether it is travel, or music, or anything else that is personal to you, alone. 

Sormtimes things just fall apart.  I love the Pet Sounds sessions, best, as it tells the story of how it "came together." You'll come together again as well.  All the best. 

[Ron]

Music is very powerful.  To this day I have songs I used to listen to 20 years ago, that I won't listen to anymore because they remind me of bad times or are depressing.

My suggestion would be to find new music that you're not familiar with, and find the beauty in that.  Brian is still writing beautiful music, you can listen to some of the songs of his you may not be that familiar with... they'll still be beautiful, and you won't have any negative connotations or memories associated with them.

I once met a woman who told me this story, she got in a really bad place one night, and at the time her favorite song was Roy Orbison's "Without You".  She had just broke up with somebody, and almost committed suicide that night listening to that horridly tragic song.  Thank God she didn't, but we all have to be careful of what effect music has on us, and what we choose to listen to at certain times of the night, or when we're in a certain mood, or whatever.

I think as time goes on, you'll find that you'll eventualy be able to listen to Pet Sounds again without feeling your loss.

Best wishes.