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Author Topic: Cutting down on the arguing  (Read 4899 times)
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MBE
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« on: July 16, 2013, 11:58:45 PM »

Some boards allow each individual member to block the posts made by those who aggravate them. Debate is great, but harassment isn't. If people don't like what I say to where it bugs them, or I don't like what they say to where my attention is unduly diverted, why should we have to suffer distress from each other? This isn't about being a bully or a baby, but simply trying to make this place fun again. Could this be a way so people who want to interact can do so in peace? Thoughts..Huh
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Chocolate Shake Man
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« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2013, 06:03:12 AM »

Hi Mike,

Maybe this is in some way directed towards me. I suppose this could be a possibility but do remember that I have heaped praise on your writing elsewhere on this board, still consider you to be a fine writer with an excellent point of view, and would regret considerably not being able to read your posts. Just because we disagree on certain matters hopefully does not mean that we cannot see eye to eye on others.
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pixletwin
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« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2013, 06:19:17 AM »

When a person is blocked they can't see the blocked persons posts unless someone else quotes them. The person who is blocked can still read the posts of the person who is blocking them.
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drbeachboy
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« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2013, 06:38:41 AM »

When a person is blocked they can't see the blocked persons posts unless someone else quotes them. The person who is blocked can still read the posts of the person who is blocking them.
I'm OK with that. Like the old saying goes; Out of sight, out of mind. Though, I have to say that I have always worked things out with everyone that I ever took issue with or they with me, except one. But yes, an Ignore button could be a good thing.
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The Brianista Prayer

Oh Brian
Thou Art In Hawthorne,
Harmonied Be Thy name
Your Kingdom Come,
Your Steak Well Done,
On Stage As It Is In Studio,
Give Us This Day, Our Shortenin' Bread
And Forgive Us Our Bootlegs,
As We Also Have Forgiven Our Wife And Managers,
And Lead Us Not Into Kokomo,
But Deliver Us From Mike Love.
Amen.  ---hypehat
Chocolate Shake Man
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« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2013, 06:40:52 AM »

When a person is blocked they can't see the blocked persons posts unless someone else quotes them. The person who is blocked can still read the posts of the person who is blocking them.
I'm OK with that. Like the old saying goes; Out of sight, out of mind. Though, I have to say that I have always worked things out with everyone that I ever took issue with or they with me, except one. But yes, an Ignore button could be a good thing.

Hey, look, I'm happy to work things out but I also know we will inevitably disagree again. But for me disagreements are disagreements - not the end of the world.
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drbeachboy
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« Reply #5 on: July 17, 2013, 06:44:42 AM »

When a person is blocked they can't see the blocked persons posts unless someone else quotes them. The person who is blocked can still read the posts of the person who is blocking them.
I'm OK with that. Like the old saying goes; Out of sight, out of mind. Though, I have to say that I have always worked things out with everyone that I ever took issue with or they with me, except one. But yes, an Ignore button could be a good thing.

Hey, look, I'm happy to work things out but I also know we will inevitably disagree again. But for me disagreements are disagreements - not the end of the world.
I am happy to work things out too. I mean, nothing that we argue about is earth shattering. I think we just annoy the sh*t out of each other sometimes. Though, I'm willing to try again if you are. Smiley
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The Brianista Prayer

Oh Brian
Thou Art In Hawthorne,
Harmonied Be Thy name
Your Kingdom Come,
Your Steak Well Done,
On Stage As It Is In Studio,
Give Us This Day, Our Shortenin' Bread
And Forgive Us Our Bootlegs,
As We Also Have Forgiven Our Wife And Managers,
And Lead Us Not Into Kokomo,
But Deliver Us From Mike Love.
Amen.  ---hypehat
Chocolate Shake Man
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« Reply #6 on: July 17, 2013, 06:45:42 AM »

When a person is blocked they can't see the blocked persons posts unless someone else quotes them. The person who is blocked can still read the posts of the person who is blocking them.
I'm OK with that. Like the old saying goes; Out of sight, out of mind. Though, I have to say that I have always worked things out with everyone that I ever took issue with or they with me, except one. But yes, an Ignore button could be a good thing.

Hey, look, I'm happy to work things out but I also know we will inevitably disagree again. But for me disagreements are disagreements - not the end of the world.
I am happy to work things out too. I mean, nothing that we argue about is earth shattering. I think we just annoy the sh*t out of each other sometimes. Though, I'm willing to try again if you are. Smiley

Absolutely. And the same goes for next time too.  Grin
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Chocolate Shake Man
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« Reply #7 on: July 17, 2013, 06:47:23 AM »

I think we should just treat our conversations like we're George and Elaine. Or Carla and Diane. I hope you watch sitcoms to get these references. The unfortunate part is that whatever above option you choose, apparently, one of us will have to be a woman.
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drbeachboy
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« Reply #8 on: July 17, 2013, 06:58:14 AM »

I think we should just treat our conversations like we're George and Elaine. Or Carla and Diane. I hope you watch sitcoms to get these references. The unfortunate part is that whatever above option you choose, apparently, one of us will have to be a woman.
LOL
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The Brianista Prayer

Oh Brian
Thou Art In Hawthorne,
Harmonied Be Thy name
Your Kingdom Come,
Your Steak Well Done,
On Stage As It Is In Studio,
Give Us This Day, Our Shortenin' Bread
And Forgive Us Our Bootlegs,
As We Also Have Forgiven Our Wife And Managers,
And Lead Us Not Into Kokomo,
But Deliver Us From Mike Love.
Amen.  ---hypehat
pixletwin
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« Reply #9 on: July 17, 2013, 08:38:13 AM »

For the record, in all the forums I post in (which are more than I would like to admit) I have never felt the urge to put anyone on ignore and nothing has changed.
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MBE
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« Reply #10 on: July 17, 2013, 08:44:44 AM »

Actually no rockandroll, I am not thinking of you. It's when I have asked people to simply respect my view, or the time I put into trying to get the facts, and not gotten that basic kindness, or courtesy. When I have tried to end the heat in a debate, even gone to PM, yet still have no response that is reasonable. Actually, beyond a handful of times, or relating it to myself right here, I am not even thinking of me. My concern applies to anyone who has asked these things. I want everyone to be able to have others back off of them upon request. It gets to be about wanting room to express yourself without fear that you will be jumped on personally.

I am glad you like my stuff, even when you don't agree I hope it entertains you at least. Honestly I do what I do because I love it, and I am passionate. My views are going to not always mesh with others, but I hope that basic love for music, writing, and the Beach Boys, is always clear.

My thoughts are rooted in an Elvis Presley message board that has this function. It gets hot on there, and sometimes lines are crossed. This isn't like Facebook where people cannot see each other, it just means you have to click on any post you want to see by whoever it is you aren't feeling. This works great for me, and I use it with very few people. I think this is (sparingly) needed on the internet basically because there are those who only go on boards to "fight". I like reading from people who differ from me, but I also like manners and respect.
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drbeachboy
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« Reply #11 on: July 17, 2013, 09:30:53 AM »

Actually no rockandroll, I am not thinking of you. It's when I have asked people to simply respect my view, or the time I put into trying to get the facts, and not gotten that basic kindness, or courtesy. When I have tried to end the heat in a debate, even gone to PM, yet still have no response that is reasonable. Actually, beyond a handful of times, or relating it to myself right here, I am not even thinking of me. My concern applies to anyone who has asked these things. I want everyone to be able to have others back off of them upon request. It gets to be about wanting room to express yourself without fear that you will be jumped on personally.

I am glad you like my stuff, even when you don't agree I hope it entertains you at least. Honestly I do what I do because I love it, and I am passionate. My views are going to not always mesh with others, but I hope that basic love for music, writing, and the Beach Boys, is always clear.

My thoughts are rooted in an Elvis Presley message board that has this function. It gets hot on there, and sometimes lines are crossed. This isn't like Facebook where people cannot see each other, it just means you have to click on any post you want to see by whoever it is you aren't feeling. This works great for me, and I use it with very few people. I think this is (sparingly) needed on the internet basically because there are those who only go on boards to "fight". I like reading from people who differ from me, but I also like manners and respect.
Mike, great post! Many of us are looking at this in the same way as yourself. If I am not mistaken, we come here to enjoy ourselves and share a love of the band and the music. Frankly, I'm amazed that we argue as much as we do in here considering why we all come here in the first place.
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The Brianista Prayer

Oh Brian
Thou Art In Hawthorne,
Harmonied Be Thy name
Your Kingdom Come,
Your Steak Well Done,
On Stage As It Is In Studio,
Give Us This Day, Our Shortenin' Bread
And Forgive Us Our Bootlegs,
As We Also Have Forgiven Our Wife And Managers,
And Lead Us Not Into Kokomo,
But Deliver Us From Mike Love.
Amen.  ---hypehat
Jason
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« Reply #12 on: July 17, 2013, 10:46:03 AM »

Actually no rockandroll, I am not thinking of you. It's when I have asked people to simply respect my view, or the time I put into trying to get the facts, and not gotten that basic kindness, or courtesy. When I have tried to end the heat in a debate, even gone to PM, yet still have no response that is reasonable. Actually, beyond a handful of times, or relating it to myself right here, I am not even thinking of me. My concern applies to anyone who has asked these things. I want everyone to be able to have others back off of them upon request. It gets to be about wanting room to express yourself without fear that you will be jumped on personally.

I am glad you like my stuff, even when you don't agree I hope it entertains you at least. Honestly I do what I do because I love it, and I am passionate. My views are going to not always mesh with others, but I hope that basic love for music, writing, and the Beach Boys, is always clear.

My thoughts are rooted in an Elvis Presley message board that has this function. It gets hot on there, and sometimes lines are crossed. This isn't like Facebook where people cannot see each other, it just means you have to click on any post you want to see by whoever it is you aren't feeling. This works great for me, and I use it with very few people. I think this is (sparingly) needed on the internet basically because there are those who only go on boards to "fight". I like reading from people who differ from me, but I also like manners and respect.

I agree with you. It's a shame that so many people can't engage people respectfully when confronted with a viewpoint they don't like. I won't name names but they know who they are.
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MBE
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« Reply #13 on: July 17, 2013, 01:35:52 PM »

Thanks, I am glad I got my point across. I just am glad there are really nice people who do come here and raise good topics.
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Mike's Beard
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« Reply #14 on: July 18, 2013, 10:26:15 PM »


Mike, great post! Many of us are looking at this in the same way as yourself. If I am not mistaken, we come here to enjoy ourselves and share a love of the band and the music. Frankly, I'm amazed that we argue as much as we do in here considering why we all come here in the first place.

I'm not that suprised myself, we all only have one thing in common - our love of Beach Boys- other than that The Sandbox shows us all to be very different people (not that this is a bad thing).
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I'd rather be forced to sleep with Caitlyn Jenner then ever have to listen to NPP again.
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« Reply #15 on: July 19, 2013, 07:14:04 AM »


Mike, great post! Many of us are looking at this in the same way as yourself. If I am not mistaken, we come here to enjoy ourselves and share a love of the band and the music. Frankly, I'm amazed that we argue as much as we do in here considering why we all come here in the first place.

I'm not that suprised myself, we all only have one thing in common - our love of Beach Boys- other than that The Sandbox shows us all to be very different people (not that this is a bad thing).
Yes indeed, but years ago I didn't realize how it is a fractured love. I never really ran into it until in here and at Hoffman. I could under stand it there being so varied, but I was quite amazed in here. I was so shocked my first week here that I asked to be deleted. I didn't expect to be ripped a new one right from the get go. It was a helluva welcoming party. Wink
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The Brianista Prayer

Oh Brian
Thou Art In Hawthorne,
Harmonied Be Thy name
Your Kingdom Come,
Your Steak Well Done,
On Stage As It Is In Studio,
Give Us This Day, Our Shortenin' Bread
And Forgive Us Our Bootlegs,
As We Also Have Forgiven Our Wife And Managers,
And Lead Us Not Into Kokomo,
But Deliver Us From Mike Love.
Amen.  ---hypehat
MBE
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« Reply #16 on: July 23, 2013, 01:12:32 PM »

It doesn't need to be fractured is the sad thing. It really was a nice place on here and can be again. I am bumping this because it seems things are even getting worse now as far as arguments.
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Mikie
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« Reply #17 on: July 23, 2013, 02:48:54 PM »

Where is it getting worse? Which thread is it? A lot of people (like me) went home for awhile and seldom post. I don't see any problems right now that can't be talked out and resolved. I think you're exaggerating. Where's the problem? There's always going to be some discontent on a message board. Work around it!

Damn, I really dislike whiny pants thin-skinned people. Deal with it! Can't stand the heat? Get out of the kitchen. Seriously!
« Last Edit: July 23, 2013, 03:08:41 PM by Mikie » Logged

I, I love the colorful clothes she wears, and she's already working on my brain. I only looked in her eyes, but I picked up something I just can't explain. I, I bet I know what she’s like, and I can feel how right she’d be for me. It’s weird how she comes in so strong, and I wonder what she’s picking up from me. I hope it’s good, good, good, good vibrations, yeah!!
drbeachboy
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« Reply #18 on: July 23, 2013, 03:08:39 PM »

Where is it getting worse? Which thread is it? A lot of people (like me) went home for awhile and seldom post. I don't see any problems that can't be talked out and resolved. I think you're exagerating. Where's the problem? There's always going to be discontent on a message board. Work around it!

Damn, I really dislike whiny pants thin-skinned people. Deal with it! Can't stand the heat? Get out of the kitchen. Seriously!
Not everyone comes here to argue. Disagreeing is one thing, but there is no reason why people cannot be civil in there disagreements. Personally, I don't see it ever getting better in here. It's too easy to hide behind the screen, so taking pot shots at people is ripe for the picking. The biggest isuue is the constant rehashing of topics, even this one. I know that is my biggest reason for getting in arguments. So many threads degenerate into Brian vs Mike, instead staying on the main topic. Just look at the MiC thread since Goin' To The Beach was played by Mike & Bruce, and it really has gone downhill since the free download. Instead of going there to find out info on the release, you wind up reading and getting caught up in the threadcrap. It is not so much having a thick skin, as just not wanting to deal with it in the first place.
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The Brianista Prayer

Oh Brian
Thou Art In Hawthorne,
Harmonied Be Thy name
Your Kingdom Come,
Your Steak Well Done,
On Stage As It Is In Studio,
Give Us This Day, Our Shortenin' Bread
And Forgive Us Our Bootlegs,
As We Also Have Forgiven Our Wife And Managers,
And Lead Us Not Into Kokomo,
But Deliver Us From Mike Love.
Amen.  ---hypehat
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« Reply #19 on: July 23, 2013, 03:21:29 PM »

I think we should just treat our conversations like we're George and Elaine. Or Carla and Diane. I hope you watch sitcoms to get these references. The unfortunate part is that whatever above option you choose, apparently, one of us will have to be a woman.

Or Jerry and Newman??

 Evil
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Son, don't wait till the break of day 'cause you know how time fades away......
MBE
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« Reply #20 on: July 24, 2013, 08:50:05 AM »

Where is it getting worse? Which thread is it? A lot of people (like me) went home for awhile and seldom post. I don't see any problems right now that can't be talked out and resolved. I think you're exaggerating. Where's the problem? There's always going to be some discontent on a message board. Work around it!

Damn, I really dislike whiny pants thin-skinned people. Deal with it! Can't stand the heat? Get out of the kitchen. Seriously!
I feel this topic isn't at all whiny, it exists because I want to be constructive and help. The issues with the bans, and arguments that led to them were why I revived the thread for a bit.
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