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Author Topic: Pooping  (Read 20101 times)
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Jason
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« Reply #25 on: April 26, 2006, 02:19:52 PM »
Quote from: HeroesandVillains on April 26, 2006, 12:20:48 PM
MY STEP MOTHER TAKES THE fodaING DOG INTO THE BATHROOM WITH HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 SHE DOESN'T WASH HER fodaING DISGUSTING HANDS EITHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SHE FLUSHED AND THE DOOR SLAMS OPEN AND SHE POWER WALKS OUT WITH fodaING GERM RIDDEN DISGUSTING merda HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SHE DOESN'T SEE HOW TAKING A DOG INTO THE BATHROOM IS fodaING DISGUSTING. TRIES TO MAKE ME SEEM AFRAID OF GERMS. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH MY fodaING DOG AFTER SHE HAS BEEN AROUND SOMEONE merdaTING OR PISSING IN A fodaING BATHROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

You need a Xanax, doper.
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donald
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« Reply #26 on: April 26, 2006, 03:07:36 PM »
try a long walk in the park....so you can watch people with their dogs LOL
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« Reply #27 on: April 26, 2006, 03:11:59 PM »
xanax makes me sh*t bricks.   Tongue

makes it hard to type when you gots all your fingers two knuckles deep.   Undecided

hard to play guitar that way too...just ask tal farlow!    Cool
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« Reply #28 on: May 05, 2006, 01:20:25 PM »
BUMPED for Cinco de Mayo!
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punkinhead
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« Reply #29 on: May 19, 2006, 09:34:42 AM »
i usually watch mystery science theatre 3000 when im going
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« Reply #30 on: May 19, 2006, 12:20:05 PM »
You have a TV set in your bathroom?
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Did it ever occur to you, Cable, how wise and bountiful God was to put breasts on a woman? Just the right number in just the right place. Did you ever notice that, Cable?
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« Reply #31 on: May 19, 2006, 12:57:41 PM »
doesn't everybody?
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« Reply #32 on: May 19, 2006, 12:59:49 PM »
If there was room in mine I'd gladly install one. I was thinking of putting a small stereo in there since spending ten minutes pooping in almost silence is pure boredom.
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Did it ever occur to you, Cable, how wise and bountiful God was to put breasts on a woman? Just the right number in just the right place. Did you ever notice that, Cable?
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« Reply #33 on: May 19, 2006, 01:06:22 PM »
Quote from: Mr. Phileas Fogg on May 19, 2006, 12:59:49 PM
spending ten minutes pooping in almost silence is pure boredom.

Which is why I bought AGD's book. And once you finish it you just start again from the begininng.
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« Reply #34 on: May 19, 2006, 02:55:44 PM »
The older I get, the more time is spent sitting on the toilet.

I don't have a single memory of sitting on the damn thing for more than 2 minutes when I was a little kid. Now I could spend a day there if I were not to rush.
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Did it ever occur to you, Cable, how wise and bountiful God was to put breasts on a woman? Just the right number in just the right place. Did you ever notice that, Cable?
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« Reply #35 on: May 19, 2006, 03:51:26 PM »
I do my best thinking on the toilet. Sometimes I write full songs in my head. I wish I kept a notepad in the bathroom.
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« Reply #36 on: May 19, 2006, 03:59:20 PM »
Quote from: Aegir on May 19, 2006, 03:51:26 PM
I do my best thinking on the toilet. Sometimes I write full songs in my head. I wish I kept a notepad in the bathroom.

I do too actually!

A lot of good ideas seem to flow effortlessly from me while attending to the toilet business, or while taking a shower. It's sort of a place where you're mind totally wanders and closes itself off from outside happenings. When you close the door it's time for two things: Imagination and pooping. I bet there's a ton of authors and songwriters who would never admit to writing while taking a crap, but do anyway.
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Did it ever occur to you, Cable, how wise and bountiful God was to put breasts on a woman? Just the right number in just the right place. Did you ever notice that, Cable?
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« Reply #37 on: May 19, 2006, 04:25:53 PM »
Quote from: Mr. Phileas Fogg on May 19, 2006, 12:59:49 PM
If there was room in mine I'd gladly install one. I was thinking of putting a small stereo in there since spending ten minutes pooping in almost silence is pure boredom.
Sounds like you need more fibre in your diet.  I'm usually done in under three minutes. 

Fibre = Time = Money.
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« Reply #38 on: May 19, 2006, 04:39:27 PM »
nothing starts out a new day better than a good s.h.i.t. and clean underwear.   Roll Eyes Roll Eyes
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« Reply #39 on: May 19, 2006, 05:16:54 PM »
Quote from: Steve Mayo on May 19, 2006, 04:39:27 PM
nothing starts out a new day better than a good s.h.i.t. and clean underwear.   Roll Eyes Roll Eyes

On the contrary, I cannot and refuse to crap during the day. I try to go before I take a shower at night. This way, things can be super clean for the next day, without worry. I also haven't ever gone numer 1 or 2 more than twice in a public bathroom. My first reason for that would be the weird people that one may encounter, the second being the awful smells, and the third being the grippling non-functioning of the abilities with others around. Last time I went was at a service station on the highway. It was packed with middle age to old men hunched over their things. Groaning, moaning, sighing, crying as they aimed into the urinal. They all looked shady, I kept eyes in the back of my head. Too many prison movies had seized all of my thoughts, I was ready for a fight even though it never came. If I had a son I'd make him pee himself before he went into one of those things.
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Did it ever occur to you, Cable, how wise and bountiful God was to put breasts on a woman? Just the right number in just the right place. Did you ever notice that, Cable?
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« Reply #40 on: May 19, 2006, 09:38:27 PM »
no, if i position my door and mirrors right, i can watch it...i read any beach boys book on the john as well
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To view my video documentation of my Beach Boys collection go to www.youtube.com/justinplank

"Someone needs to tell Adrian Baker that imitation isn't innovation." -The Real Beach Boy

~post of the century~
"Well, you reached out to me too, David, and I'd be more than happy to fill Bgas's shoes. You don't need him anyway - some of us have the same items in our collections as he does and we're also much better writers. Spoiled brat....."
-Mikie

"in this online beach boy community, I've found that you're either correct or corrected. Which in my mind is all in good fun to show ones knowledge of their favorite band."- punkinhead
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« Reply #41 on: May 20, 2006, 07:00:28 AM »
Remind me to never borrow books from you then.  :D

Reading in the bathroom does actually bother me a little bit. When you borrow books from a library they're ALWAYS splashed with a very unidentifiable substance. It could be the worst of things for all us humble borrowers know! The most common is coffee stains, right? People sit up a night, desk lamp lit, comfortable chair leaning back, and they read with a cup of java in hand. They dose off to sleep, their hand's angle gets a bit crooked and the coffee spills. They wake up once it hits the crotch and sppill more on the book. The other off-colored stains -- well I'd rather not go into what they could be. Libraries (like the one episode of Seinfeld) should have some sort of bathroom-used detector. "Sir, this book has been in the bathroom with you. Please pay full price for the book, as you have so disracefully abused it."
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Did it ever occur to you, Cable, how wise and bountiful God was to put breasts on a woman? Just the right number in just the right place. Did you ever notice that, Cable?
Susan
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« Reply #42 on: May 20, 2006, 11:54:49 AM »
Dude, reading in the bathroom ROCKS! 
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« Reply #43 on: May 20, 2006, 12:06:34 PM »
I never thought I would be so enamored by a poop discussion.
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« Reply #44 on: May 20, 2006, 12:32:02 PM »
Quote from: Susan on May 20, 2006, 11:54:49 AM
Dude, reading in the bathroom ROCKS! 

*Takes note of poster's name. Adds to the great list of bathroom readers -- none borrow books from*

Thank you!
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Did it ever occur to you, Cable, how wise and bountiful God was to put breasts on a woman? Just the right number in just the right place. Did you ever notice that, Cable?
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« Reply #45 on: May 20, 2006, 12:32:38 PM »
Quote from: Rerun and whatnot... on May 20, 2006, 12:06:34 PM
I never thought I would be so enamored by a poop discussion.

This isn't a Beatles thread!
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Did it ever occur to you, Cable, how wise and bountiful God was to put breasts on a woman? Just the right number in just the right place. Did you ever notice that, Cable?
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« Reply #46 on: May 20, 2006, 12:43:01 PM »
well, you can only analyze ringo's ability so many times.  This...well, this is fresh!  Count me as a bathroom reader.  Thank God for Entertainment Weekly.
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"Today, in our increasingly secular world, loving one another doesn't just mean "loving."  It means being forced to accept as normal those behaviors and lifestyles that are absolutely abnormal.  It's not enough to live and let live.  You must chant their mantra as well; you must repent, renounce your own values, and pronounce those of the radical left as superior and adopt them."
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« Reply #47 on: May 20, 2006, 12:53:18 PM »
Quote from: Rerun and whatnot... on May 20, 2006, 12:43:01 PM
well, you can only analyze ringo's ability so many times.  This...well, this is fresh!  Count me as a bathroom reader.  Thank God for Entertainment Weekly.

You too sir are on my list.

Why don't you guys just write messages on the TP for the next user to read?

" What's the most suicidal profession?                    --- Being a slice of TP"

So the next user will have a hearty laugh.

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Did it ever occur to you, Cable, how wise and bountiful God was to put breasts on a woman? Just the right number in just the right place. Did you ever notice that, Cable?
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« Reply #48 on: May 20, 2006, 06:28:31 PM »
Here's a question for you, Foggy One: After you're done doin' your business, do you put the lid of the toilet down before you flush?  I don't mean the seat - i mean the entire lid.
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« Reply #49 on: May 20, 2006, 06:30:21 PM »
Yes.

There's always a chance of the toilet monster that lives in the bowels of the earth coming up for revenge.
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Did it ever occur to you, Cable, how wise and bountiful God was to put breasts on a woman? Just the right number in just the right place. Did you ever notice that, Cable?
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