Who/where/what does Brian run to?

[Justin]

This thought was prompted by a post in the QVC thread of a few observations made by Sheriff John Stone.  Such a detailed post I think deserved to be branched out a bit, hope you don't mind, Sheriff!

I saw something last night that really makes we doubt that boredom, disinterest, or "he's just going through the motions" is the only thing(s) confronting Brian. If anyone present last night disagrees, please, I welcome your thoughts.

When the band came out for the encores, during "Kokomo", the first encore, Brian was totally disengaged. He might've sung one or two notes. He sat there, motionless, just following Mike as he was prancing around the stage, with a disturbing look on his (Brian's) face.

Immediately after "Kokomo", a roadie helped Brian strap on the bass. Brian walked out to the front of the stage, and as the band was repeating that famous riff to the beginning of "Barbara Ann", Brian motions to the audience, and starts to yell, "Well let me hear you say 'Yeah'..." And, just as Brian is yelling this, Mike talks over him (unintentionally), and goes into his "Thanks for coming to see the Beach Boys tonight". Brian looked totally confused, and stepped back from the microphone, looking around. Did he think he was at one of his solo concerts, and he was supposed to lead that part? Seriously. And, when they did go into the "Well let me hear you say yeah" part, Brian didn't join in. He barely sang any parts to "Barbara Ann".

Eventually, they got to the closer, "Fun, Fun, Fun". Brain started out dancing that little two-step shuffle, but quickly stopped. Then he sang a line or two backing, and stopped singing completely. He eventually just stood motionless, with just his thumb plucking the one string on the bass. Then he stopped playing.

Brian ended up just standing there, up front, doing nothing. He was staring upward and the lights were flashing and the music was blaring and the crowd was going nuts. All of a sudden, Brian starts walking to the back. It looked like he was trying to walk off the stage, but Jeff kind of cut him off. I could see Jeff half-smiling and shaking his head and saying, "No, it's not over yet". Brian stopped in his tracks, just staring at Jeff, almost waiting for a command. Keep in mind while all of this is going on, the music's blasting and the place is rocking. Then Brian pulls up his shirt to try to pull up his Adidas pants, which were falling beneath his stomach. It was a sad sight, really.... Brian hung around to line up to wave to the crowd, and then he quickly scurried off.

I will never forget the look on his face as he stood in the front of that stage, motionless, staring into what - the crowd, the lights, space? This was not a look of boredom, of disinterest. It was beyond that. It made me feel very uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. I wanted to just jump up on the stage and take his hand or something. It just made me wonder what was going on in his mind, in his brain. I trust he is OK. I trust his doctors have absolutely cleared him to do this tour. But, God, what demons he must be facing....

This post got me thinking about Brian.  Sheriff's description of a distracted Brian is not new to many of us. No doubt we've seen countless versions of this either on video or in person.  We all know Brian dislikes performing on stage, or pretty much dislikes anything that doesn't involve being in the studio, writing and recording music.  We've seen him run/scurry off many stages over the years....but what exactly is Brian running to?  Like is there a specific thing, person or place that Brian finds refuge?  Is it his dressing room?  His hotel room?  Anywhere where Melinda is?  His home in LA?  His bedroom? In front of a piano?  With his children?   Like if you were to just stop the show right in the middle of the band singing "Be True To Your School" and tell Brian..."Brian, you're free to go whenever you want."  No doubt he would get up and head for the exit.   But where would you suppose he would go?

Part of my question may be purely rhetorical, perhaps there is no one true, literal answer but I thought it'd be interesting to bounce around some thoughts on the subject....

[Runaways]

i think there's a reason brian likes having a keyboard in his room and stuff like this is a big reason

[Lowbacca]

I suppose Melinda is backstage at almost every U.S. gig..

[FatherOfTheMan Sr101]

I honestly think that Brian is much more excited about the album, and as always, couldn't care less about touring...

It really does break my heart sometimes that he has to do things he doesn't want to :/

[endofposts]

Post-show buffet.  It must be great for these guys to all finally get to go on a first-class, more or less, type of tour.  They can have tour riders to have all the types of food they want, or to have all the brown M & M's taken out of the bowl.

[Wirestone]

I honestly think that Brian is much more excited about the album, and as always, couldn't care less about touring...

It really does break my heart sometimes that he has to do things he doesn't want to :/

It breaks my heart sometimes that I have to do things I don't want to do.

Seriously, though, BW has enjoyed touring. Not every show. But I've seen it.

[Sheriff John Stone]

I've always thought that Brian went backstage to sit down in a comfortable chair, probably closes his eyes to rest and relax, maybe even gets a back massage by somebody. It is even possible that he is given some prescribed medication. I doubt that he does any talking or anybody talks to him. It could actually put him into a lull which could explain his different demeanor when he returns to the stage.

I didn't see Melinda or any of the wives - and I looked. Maybe they were out in the casino, gambling away the money that their husbands earned at that damn Meet And Greet.

[onkster]

When in LA, I think he runs to that deli at the top of Beverly Glen.

[startBBtoday]

I've always thought that Brian went backstage to sit down in a comfortable chair, probably closes his eyes to rest and relax, maybe even gets a back massage by somebody. It is even possible that he is given some prescribed medication. I doubt that he does any talking or anybody talks to him. It could actually put him into a lull which could explain his different demeanor when he returns to the stage.

At Mohegan, I was sitting in the loge right next to the side of the stage. Brian came out before everyone else to sit in a chair and John Cowsill walked over and gave Brian a back massage before he went out for both sets.

[Amy B.]

I would think he just wants to get off stage and to a place where he feels safe...around the people who knows and trusts, maybe. Does he go off by himself? Is he allowed to do that? For that matter, what does he do when Melinda isn't on tour with him? For instance, who makes sure he gets up on time in the morning, gets himself dressed, etc.? Or is he more self-sufficient than I think?
Aside from being onstage, is being on tour an OK experience for him?

[Wirestone]

I would think he just wants to get off stage and to a place where he feels safe...around the people who knows and trusts, maybe. Does he go off by himself? Is he allowed to do that? For that matter, what does he do when Melinda isn't on tour with him? For instance, who makes sure he gets up on time in the morning, gets himself dressed, etc.? Or is he more self-sufficient than I think?

I think Jeff does a lot of that. In terms of his life in LA, I think he manages by himself okay. He drives himself around, goes to that deli, visits friends.

Aside from being onstage, is being on tour an OK experience for him?

AGD has said he really enjoys the travel part of it.

[Bubba Ho-Tep]

AGD has said he really enjoys the travel part of it.

Sure. What man doesn't like to flee his nagging wife and screaming kids?

[Kamandi]

Post-show buffet.  It must be great for these guys to all finally get to go on a first-class, more or less, type of tour.  They can have tour riders to have all the types of food they want, or to have all the brown M & M's taken out of the bowl.

Ribeyes!

[Wirestone]

AGD has said he really enjoys the travel part of it.

Sure. What man doesn't like to flee his nagging wife and screaming kids?

You said it, not me. 

That being said, I think it's gotten tougher the last couple of years. Back problems, possibly. And Brian definitely seems older recently -- since roughly the Gershwin album, or a bit before. He seems to have aged about 10 years in the space of a year or so.

[monicker]

Sometimes it feels a little too weird to think of those in the BW camp who could be reading these sort of threads. Granted, it's a given with any person who is in the public eye that people will talk about them, but sometimes it just feels slightly uncomfortable given everything that's happened in his life, and the details and speculation in the conversations. I always wonder what those who read this board think of threads like these. Not that anyone here is saying anything that's necessarily bad. It's just...i don't know...weird. I'm not really saying anything, i'm just contemplative.

[Pinder's Gone To Kokomo And Back Again]

I've always thought that Brian went backstage to sit down in a comfortable chair, probably closes his eyes to rest and relax, maybe even gets a back massage by somebody. It is even possible that he is given some prescribed medication. I doubt that he does any talking or anybody talks to him. It could actually put him into a lull which could explain his different demeanor when he returns to the stage.

At Mohegan, I was sitting in the loge right next to the side of the stage. Brian came out before everyone else to sit in a chair and John Cowsill walked over and gave Brian a back massage before he went out for both sets.

I'm assuming Ann Lee's out of the business these days?

[absinthe_boy]

I honestly think that Brian is much more excited about the album, and as always, couldn't care less about touring...

It really does break my heart sometimes that he has to do things he doesn't want to :/

It breaks my heart sometimes that I have to do things I don't want to do.

Seriously, though, BW has enjoyed touring. Not every show. But I've seen it.

I've only seen him twice on his solo tours....and I am sure that he enjoyed most of his time on stage. There are things you can't fake, like enthusiasm. But Brian has said that there are some nights when the hallucinations get the better of him. It's not his fault, he can't help that he has an illness that sometimes messes with his mind. As BW/BB fans we must accept that.

The piano/keyboard is like a security blanket for him. It's something between him and the crowds. He feeds of the love from the audience but I also feel he finds the whole live gig situation quite frightening. Brian still performs staggeringly well when he's comfortable. And it looks like his position on stage, having a symbolic barrier between him and the outside world, play a part in him being comfy. He also seems to like having people he trusts gathered round him - witness the acapalla openings to the SMiLE gigs with the band comfortingly sitting around him and the 'round Brian's piano' parts of the current BB shows. What is lovely to hear about the recent gigs is how Mike seems to be playing the part of one of Brian's trusted friends.

We know that on some dates his auditory hallucinations are worse than others. When he seems confused, possibly staring into space....he might well be struggling to separate the hallucinations from the music and to actually hear (with that one good ear) what is going on. Imagine getting up to the microphone, your enthusiasm is reasonably engaged, you know you've not been on it for this gig....you want to give something to the audience so you yell "everybody say YEAH" but at the same time Mike (unintentionally) yells something into his mic. You cannot really hear what he's said, your one ear is struggling to separate auditory hallucinations from the music, Mike's voice and the crowd and it's having trouble......I can see that confusing Brian - heck confusing anybody - and in order to feel 'safe' or 'comfortable' (or perhaps less uncomfortable) Brian takes a few steps back away from the blaring speakers, flashing lights, bouncing beach balls, yelling crowds...

That seems to make sense to me. I cannot read Brian's mind but it would explain him disengaging. He's either just trying to survive until it is all over or he's staring into space trying to separate out all the different noises in his head and hear the music.

Off stage, we can only speculate. He may have an area with a comfy chair where he can relax. Maybe sometimes Melinda is there....whatever your view on Melinda, Brian adores her and she provides emotional stability and unconditional love. If he's had a bad time, he knows Melinda is there for him. For Brian I think that is crucial. Maybe he as a cool beer...Or maybe Jeff gives him a back rub. It's just a 'safe place' where he can refresh himself. Brian has alluded to sometimes drinking one or two beers, having a meal and taking his medication after gigs.

I agree Brian looks older lately, when he was 65 he looked 50...now he's approaching 70 and he looks 70. He's a pretty good 70 but he no longer looks younger than his years. We know he's got back issues, which is not uncommon given his height and age. Indeed I'd be surprised if a 6'4" 70 year old didn't have at least occasional back problems.

With regard to Brian walking off stage 'early'...I am guessing....but I think he just finds it difficult knowing what to do with all the applause, addressing the audience when there are no more songs to introduce....the show is over, the high has gone....Brian just wants to be 'in my room' - wherever that is for him.

All the above is just observation from me.

[lance]

I think he rushes out to dive into the bedful of naked groupies that await all rock stars after a show

[Autotune]

Sometimes it feels a little too weird to think of those in the BW camp who could be reading these sort of threads. Granted, it's a given with any person who is in the public eye that people will talk about them, but sometimes it just feels slightly uncomfortable given everything that's happened in his life, and the details and speculation in the conversations. I always wonder what those who read this board think of threads like these. Not that anyone here is saying anything that's necessarily bad. It's just...i don't know...weird. I'm not really saying anything, i'm just contemplative.

You made a huge point. There's so many fan statements regarding Brian, most if not all of them based on extremely limited data.

[Wirestone]

Sometimes it feels a little too weird to think of those in the BW camp who could be reading these sort of threads. Granted, it's a given with any person who is in the public eye that people will talk about them, but sometimes it just feels slightly uncomfortable given everything that's happened in his life, and the details and speculation in the conversations. I always wonder what those who read this board think of threads like these. Not that anyone here is saying anything that's necessarily bad. It's just...i don't know...weird. I'm not really saying anything, i'm just contemplative.

You made a huge point. There's so many fan statements regarding Brian, most if not all of them based on extremely limited data.

I daresay people here know more about Brian than many of their immediate family members. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[Autotune]

Sometimes it feels a little too weird to think of those in the BW camp who could be reading these sort of threads. Granted, it's a given with any person who is in the public eye that people will talk about them, but sometimes it just feels slightly uncomfortable given everything that's happened in his life, and the details and speculation in the conversations. I always wonder what those who read this board think of threads like these. Not that anyone here is saying anything that's necessarily bad. It's just...i don't know...weird. I'm not really saying anything, i'm just contemplative.

You made a huge point. There's so many fan statements regarding Brian, most if not all of them based on extremely limited data.

I daresay people here know more about Brian than many of their immediate family members. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Care to elaborate?

[Mikie]

Poor guy still hears voices in his head, and he has better days than others. The loud noise on stage doesn't do wonders for him either. Sometimes he has a good time on stage but probably most of the time not.

After this tour, Brian should throw in the towel. He really should. Maybe do a few one-off's here and there, show up to record at the studio once in awhile, spend some time with the wife and kids and dogs and stay at home to enjoy the rain, the park, and other things.

[Amy B.]

Poor guy still hears voices in his head, and he has better days than others. The loud noise on stage doesn't do wonders for him either. Sometimes he has a good time on stage but probably most of the time not.

After this tour, Brian should throw in the towel. He really should. Maybe do a few one-off's here and there, show up to record at the studio once in awhile, spend some time with the wife and kids and dogs and stay at home to enjoy the rain, the park, and other things.

My dream for Brian is that he retires from touring but is still gently pushed to do SOMETHING. And that something (in my dream) would be recording music and releasing it online whenever the creative juices flow. Maybe working with others at times.

[Autotune]

He probably does not enjoy certain aspects of touring. But I don't think his demeanor has to do with it. He's been reported to act that way in interviews, private meeting, everywhere. That's the way he is, by all accounts. He can act more normal on a minority of days and that's it.

[Sheriff John Stone]

Sometimes it feels a little too weird to think of those in the BW camp who could be reading these sort of threads. Granted, it's a given with any person who is in the public eye that people will talk about them, but sometimes it just feels slightly uncomfortable given everything that's happened in his life, and the details and speculation in the conversations. I always wonder what those who read this board think of threads like these. Not that anyone here is saying anything that's necessarily bad. It's just...i don't know...weird. I'm not really saying anything, i'm just contemplative.

Insightful post as usual, monicker.

I don't think the five Beach Boys pay much attention, if any, to Message Boards. They have had in-depth and speculative things written about them since, when, 1966? Just read some of the very recent articles being written about them; there are no punches being pulled in them. They have literally seen it all, heard it all, and lived it all. At this stage in their lives - and maybe as far back when they were in their forties and fifties - they have many, many other issues that concern them. Or don't concern them.

Now, the backing band is another issue. Many times I have imagined those guys, maybe having breakfast together or sitting on the tour bus or having a few beers after a show, and one guy will have a laptop out, reading some posts to the group. I absolutely can hear Scott or someone saying, "Listen to this post by this idiot Sheriff John Stone..." And, Jeff, with that familiar laugh, chuckling, "What an a--hole..."  

I also sometimes wonder if our posts, ideas, and criticisms do make their way back to the group - via some source - which has led to positive things happening within the Beach Boys world. I mean, not everything we write is bad!