[Smile]

Bill - bottom line: you're telling us all that your interpretation is the only one that fits and explains (closed mind), while the rest of us are allowing that there may be many other possible reasons why Smile came to be (open minds). You see just the one path, wide and shining, while we see many and winding trails, leading in all directions. Tell me, who is the more enlightened here ?

If the flaws in Bill's theories are SOOO self-evident, why are you so bloody obsessed with 'proving' them wrong? Can't you just let the man BE? To this plant, only one of you is coming off like a pig-headed a-hole, and it ain't the zen feller.

I wonder what Bill and Phil are up too??
Phil SMiLE came out!
Bill it is what it is!!

What is Andrew's Fern doing?

So nice of you to ask! After weeks of banishment in Andrew's basement (for "insolence" he claimed), I was finally rescued by someone who values good foliage. I've been given a sunny spot near a window, and near enough to the music room to enjoy whatever sounds are playing. No Smile box set, oddly enough, but my new owner has been more than kind. Some chap named Phil...

Hey, everyone -- finally out of the basement ... something's got Andrew happy and distracted I guess.

So ... have I missed anything in the last couple of days?

Do You Dig Worms?

Yes, I forgot about that one. Worms make the soil rich and fertile, so naturally I'm a fan. The song's OK too.

I think I just saw a ghost. But I guess it was nobody.

Actually, you don't know WHAT you saw, do you Jay? 

If I were a fern I'd be rather pissed off at the music of the Beach Boys; half the songs they're singing about driving gasoline powered cars around the country (spewing CO2 and other noxious emissions across the land thus warming the earth thus creating a meteorological minefield of treacherous weather for the fern to live through).

If I were a fern I'd be dancing in the wind to the sweet tunes of Joni Mitchell.

Well, I don't have much choice in the matter, do I?

Hey folks I may only be a fern, but this isn't "SMiLE thread part 2" -- show some respect for a fellow living organism! Let's talk about the BBs and the songs that have special appeal in the plant community.

Well, with no SMiLE thread to inspire the best in us, I thought I'd introduce myself by way of my favourite Beach Boys classics:

1. "The Warmth Of The Sun" -- Not a shocker ... plants love the sun
2. "Wind Chimes" -- I can totally relate
3. "Gettin' Hungry" -- I hum this one (inaudibly, of course) whenever Andrew forgets to water me for a few days
4. "Country Air" -- it gets very dank in Andrew's basement, makes one yearn...
5. "Busy Doin' Nothin'" -- Hell, that's practically my life philosophy
6. "I Can Hear Music" -- Andrew doesn't believe me, but it's true
7. "Cool, Cool Water" -- Not the version from that wretched Sunflower album -- what a misleading title! -- but the one from the box set
8. "A Day In The Life Of A Tree" -- Heartbreaking
9. "Shortenin' Bread" -- Naw, just kidding -- but it DOES get stuck in my head sometimes...

The rest of the BBs catalog is crap. Sorry kids, just tellin' it like it is. Maybe I just have a different perspective, but there are way too many songs about waves, cars and birds -- none of which are friendly to us plants. And when Andrew gets particularly irritated with me -- over what? absorbing CO2 too loudly? -- he blasts that murderous "Vegetables" song and puts me next to the speaker, so I can hear every horrifying crunch. Then he mutters something about me being "more respectful next time" and puts me back in the basement. It's not easy being green.

I just heard that a SMiLE Sessions box set was coming out. Is it true?

Some guy named Phil keeps leaving messages on Andrew's phone saying it's not gonna happen.

It's a fern, it has no feelings.

See what I have to put up with every day?

Great conversationalist... but cold. No passion. Understandable, having no nervous system.

You wound me, sir. I work hard all day to produce oxygen for you, and this is the thanks I get?

Andrews fern what is your favourite SMiLE fragment you have heard?

Well, Andrew's had the box set for weeks now, but of course he won't let ME listen in ...

I've always had a fondness for "Do You Dig Worms" because, well, ALL plants appreciate worms. They make the soil rich and yummy.

It's a fern, it has no feelings.

See what I have to put up with every day?

[I've had more intelligent requests from a fern.]

Sure Phil, destroy over 35 years of researching and building sources, reduce any standing and reputation I may have in the BB fan world to nothing and compromise the position of anyone who may have provided me with any such information just to satisfy your curiosity. I cannot believe you said that. I've had more intelligent requests from a fern. I've had dealings with some complete fools in my time, BB-related and otherwise, but you, sir, are without doubt the most brainless individual I've had the misfortune to encounter.

Andrew can you please create an account for your fern on this board? It may very well have more intelligent things to post than Phil.

Leave me out of this -- you're all crazy.

For the record, some of the things I've requested from Andrew include water and sunlight.

This idea was a lot funnier yesterday, honestly.