actually, i'm switching to lou reed's metal machine music
it's a better choice for destroying the demons in a cathartic way

the sound of metal machine music is the sound of my mind all day today
absolutely horrific, shrunk to an atomic point

i've had a weird day

about nine hours ago i smoked but one bowl of marijuana
and set out into the woods on a journey

in the valley of dirt i sat and meditated
after some time three monsters appeared

a guy and his two sons on quads
dirt and mud in the air, they got stuck in quicksand

at some point he drove up on to the hill where i sat
and while i spoke to him i melted like butter internally

i've experienced typical ego-death on other drugs
and ego-transcendence through meditation

yet this was more like an anxiety attack
plus the melting of my psychological self

for quite some time i have been coming to realize
that marijuana is spiritually deadly for me personally

today the realization came in full when i was shattered

nine hours later i feel as if i've been through a war

in an effort to find peace and to try and seduce back the inner lucidity
that i began my day with sober

i searched for appropriate music

i hadn't listened to the beach boys in a while
but i remembered what carl said about smiley smile

being used in some rehab clinic to help people chill after intense drug experiences

i have it on now - it is indeed very soothing for this purpose

because it's carefree in a childish way
a temporary relief from crippling psychic demons

it's an isolated world of controlled cheerfulness