The Smiley Smile Message Board

 ::)

Before we start casting stones, Boxer just fessed up to deleting the thread....

 ???

That thread was nine pages or so of acrimony. I thought it was in the best interests of everybody here to remove it. Sorry if others don't feel that way, but I'm not sorry for having done it.

Good night.

And because of that, resentments and accusations will remain unresolved and get worse.
Kicking people when they're down does not become you, Boxer. I'm surprised.

How'd he delete it?

Um, whom did I kick when they were down, exactly? That's ridiculous. You guys are at each other's throats over these feigned indignities, and it's just LAME. Nothing was going to be resolved in that thread, it was ... ugliness for its own sake. I deleted it because I was tired of seeing people fighting about NOTHING. Certainly more attention today has been devoted to spetty quabbling instead of anything productive, like -- I dunno -- TALKING ABOUT MUSIC? Feathers get ruffled. Personalities don't always mesh. So what? Big deal. Move on. You know I respect you, Ian, so don't try to pin this sh*t on me -- that doesn't become YOU.

Good night. (Seriously.)

Things that I said in that thread to Charles were things I needed him to hear.
I really don't give a foda how lame you think it was. Seriously. As a heart attack.


Not your decision to make. The fact that a non-moderator can remove topics is ridiculous.

Charles, I'm going to make a request to you.
Please get rid of the Sandbox forum entirely.
Nothing but positive results will ensue.
Thanks.

Disagree, as that may cause more off-topic posts to appear elsewhere.

Yep, but the mods/admins can deal with that, as that's their job.

I still don't understand how a non-mod could delete another topic.... ???

If you've created a topic, you get a button on the bottom left enabling you to remove the topic.

Oh....I thought he removed some one ELSE'S topic...  :-\

I assume you won't be participating in the Sandbox anymore?

Such as?

Does anyone else have anything Charles needs to hear?  I'm all ears.

What? But then I'd have to go out and get a life!  :D

All that Danza/Baio scholarship--gone! I hope someone printed a copy of that one.

(http://bestweekever.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/danzahey.jpg)

I know!  :'(

Wow.  The idea that the forum causes the behaviour doesn't leave a lot of room for free will.  Folks, we choose what to write and post here, regardless of the name of the forum.  Don't blame anyone but yourselves if there are posts that you don't like, or if things go in a direction you didn't intend.

And i'll just re-contribute to the Danza scholarship: Having already been one in real life, he played an aspiring boxer named Tony on Taxi.  He was young and as chiseled as he was ever gonna be...

                                               (http://www.shutdown-vol2.com/danza.jpg)

And just for good measure I'm putting Scott back in here:

[attachment deleted by admin]

Boy...they really could have been brothers, couldn't they?

As a newbie (but a very active one) I offer this: dunno what Boxer said, don't much care, KEEP THE SANDBOX OPEN...I agree with what Susan said--about the posts and the forum--Danza/Baio, don't care 'bout that either...The Sandbox is every bit as important as On Topic Discussions; We can't appreciate beauty without having ugliness for balance,BOTH being in the eye of the beholder...FWIW, the BLUEBOARD seems positively, er, uh, "quaint" after being here for a few days...What do you veteran posters call yourselves--Smileys, Smilers, the SS, oops, THAT'S no good...We need the Sandbox!!!

Thank you Susan and Maybelline for keeping the spirit alive!

You should care.

Well, if you insist. I'm secure in my male hetrosexuality--Danza...

Disappear from the board for a day and drama is deleted! What'd I miss?

I have been posting on BB message boards for almost ten years now.  I have been administrator, and then owner, of one for about 7 years.  Allow me, if you will, to share a few thoughts.

On-line fan communities and message boards provide a place where even the most distant of us can find acceptance, because the members of a given community share a common like.  For some people, this may be the only place in their lives where they find that unconditional acceptance.   And even among those who function just fine in their real social lives, that unconditional acceptance can be comforting.

As the comfort level grows, then, people become a little more open.  We tell more about ourselves, and we really start to feel like we're part of something - which we are!  The on-line community is as real as the real-life community, without the need to be clothed!
;-)

But as with any community, there are times when tension arises.  This may happen because someone says something the others disagree with, or because someone does something stupid, or because an unknown sensitive spot gets hit with a humorous hammer...there are any number of reasons why it happens, but rest assured: on all boards, it DOES happen.  The big problems come from how people deal with it.  Because we feel like our safe place has been violated, and our friends there aren't really our friends - because they show themselves to be - gasp - not perfect.  Human.

Drag.

Reactions range from storming off to sulking; from having a tantrum to stony silence.  Often, tho, these on-line tensions are worse than real-life tensions, because we are SO physically and emotionally engaged and involved.  We sit at the computer and we type - our bodies AND our minds are engaged here, and yes, we become addicted.  So our reaction to a bad scene in an on-line community can be even more intense than when it happens in real life.

Some suggestions for dealing with it:  Take a deep breath.  Walk away from the computer for now.  Walk, in fact.  Go outside.  Go shopping.  Re-engage with your real life.  Clean the bathroom.  Make the bed.  Make a cake.  And realize that the people in your on-line community are just like the other people in your life: Flawed, but basically good-intentioned. 

Just like you.

Folks, i've been on all sides of this.  I have deleted threads and taken a hit for it; i've refused to delete posts, and taken a hit for that; i've been nasty; i've been on the receiving end of nastiness; i've watched nastiness and bad feelings bloom on my own boards.  They do run their course, however, and that happens more quickly and with less hurt if everyone counts to ten before they hit that "Post" button.  And remember: You reap what you sow.  What you post will come back to you.

For what it's worth, i think there is great value in a forum like the Sandbox.  It's a place for the silliness to escape...for your inner bastard to get an airing.  The trick is to remember that the other posters are people, too, and they have feelings just like yours.  The Golden Rule applies in a place like this even more than it does elsewhere, i think, because the barriers are lowered.  We have to think, that's all.  Breathe, and think.

And if you feel you've done someone wrong, just drop them a PM and apologize.  It's okay to say you're sorry.  And it's good to accept an honest apology.  Mend your fences; you have good friends here, and you want to keep them.  And the next time something like this happens, why not reach out via PM and talk to someone, rather than get upset in public?  The person who upset you probably doesn't know s/he's done so.  Isn't it better to let them know privately than to create unhappiness for everybody?

Sorry this is so long, and i hope you don't think me too pompous or assuming.  But it's important to me that our on-line BB community stays as healthy as it can.  Let the band be dysfunctional; we don't have to be!

Peas.

Thanks Susan.
  Here's something to give you a laugh -  also Compost if you are reading - http://teachers.youaremighty.com   :D
(I was waiting for a punchline but there isn't one)

I tell you this, there's no real danger of the sandbox disappearing.  Not after I went and found a picture of a sandbox.

Yeah but Chuck it now looks like an advert for the Early Learning Centre  :-\   :D

Hah, well, maybe it fits the behavior.  :)

Especially yours.

Thanks for posting those great words of wisdom, Susan.  Much appreciated!  :)

PS:  It's always better to assume that someone meant no harm or offense in a post than to assume that they did.

How about when an "administrator" posts hypocritical insults and slander about you?

Such as?

Why especially mine? 

That I post "disgusting and offensive nonsense", when in reality, I'm the person who's been fighting against it consistently. Did you even read that sex thread before you deleted it, Charles?

How about when anybody does any asshole thing to or around or about you?  And what if they didn't mean it that way, but you just took it that way, and the hard feelings never had to have happened?

And how about if you really have been wronged?

You take a deep breathe and you take the high road and you be the grown up and you move on.  You don't forget, but you don't have to make it last forever, either.  The fact of the matter is NOBODY goes through life without being done wrong by other people - usually numerous times.  It's not about what others do to you, Jason; it's about how you react to it. 

How you react to things is entirely up to you.

That's where taking a breath comes in.  Take a breath and think about how you want to react to something.  That's especially easy on-line, because you can think about it, type, read it over, consider your words...and decide if that's *really* how you want to react to a thing.

Going off half-cocked almost never yields positive results.

And if you really have to let loose, then do it on a PM.  Why involve the rest of us?

Let me be clear:  I have not singled you out for posting "disgusting and offensive nonsense."  It happens frequently here, and unfortunately, not just in the Sandbox, which makes job that much harder.

No, I did not read the entire "sex" thread before I deleted it.  I was asked by several involved parties to get rid of it, and I did. 

If you've been the voice of reason in the Sandbox, you have my apologies.  Given your past and current behavior, I doubt you are standing high and mighty, far above the muck everyone else swims in, but I've been wrong before.

That about fodaing says it all.

If someone calls me out publically, the argument remains public.
Simple as that.

in regards to the bellyaching:

(http://onlineathens.com/images/101205/22914_512.jpg)

Oh, and what's that?
Photoshopping naked pictures of Laurie?
Oh, I'm sorry, that's your method of fighting, excusing your behavior with an unwarranted attack on others' character.
Whatever.

Precisely.  That may mean ignoring aspects of this board, and certain behaviors, that upset you.  It may mean taking an extended break if things continue to upset you.  For instance, I found myself using my limited time in a non constructive manner on Susan's board.  I also found certain threads and messages to be spiritually and intellectually lacking and draining.  I've taken a break, and my online life has gone much smoother so far.

Ian, you are currently welcome on this board, but if being here causes you so much grief, find a way to improve things here, ignore things here, or avoid things here.

Don't know why that sets you off, but if it changes your perception, i meant that in the global sense.  It's not about what anybody DOES TO anybody.  It's about how EACH INDIVIDUAL reacts.  Control that which we can; that's all any of us can hope to do.

Serious suggestion: Go throw some rocks at a fence and get some of this immediate anger out of your system.  Scream and yell the things that are pissing you off.  It might help.

As I've never seen a naked picture of Laurie, I can only guess you are speaking of someone else.  If you want to accuse me of something, at least make certain it's factual.

That's what I've been trying to do, but when you call me out on a consistent basis in a patronising manner, it's pretty damn annoying.

I'll leave that to Jeff Mason.

Okay, what does Jeff Mason have to do with this?  I think if Jeff Mason has anything to say about me, he can say it himself, to me.

Amen, Mr. Treadway.

You're absolutely right. Sometimes they need a little jump-start, though.

What exactly do you want, Ian?

Seriously - the two of you need to take this to PM.  NOBODY ELSE NEEDS TO SEE THIS! 

For what it's worth, I really don't think Ian should take an 'extended break'. I missed all the stuff that happened last night/whenever.. so I can't really comment. Lets just get on with things, as usual. it's supposed to be a laugh here!

THEN DON'T READ IT, SUPER-GENIUS!
No one's making you.

That's enough of that.

Ian, you are right, no is forcing Susan or anyone else to be in this forum or read this thread, but let's leave the name calling out of it.

Susan, I appreciate your efforts, but it's clear that, while Ian has taken it too far, he appears to party to something where he's the only one willing to speak up.  Again, if anyone else has anything they feel the need to say to me or ask of me, please speak up.  Otherwise, let's leave the accusations and ill will in the trash where they belong.

Thanks, Charles.

At least he recognizes my brilliance...
;-)

My mom taught me to keep my business to myself.  That was my point, Ian...

OK, I just have to re-write an entire post now because the system said that a thread was deleted and here it is again.  Come on, let me breathe here....

Ian, I really don't want to be dragged into this and certainly not publicly.  I also know nothign about naked PhotoShopped pictures of Laurie.  The ONLY reason I am going on with this is you called me out by name.

Charles, Ian is referring to a comment I made on the deleted thread from yesterday, and a reference I made in a PM to my concern (which was no different from the posted comment).  Since it was deleted before you saw it, I will need to quickly summarize and put into context.

I was uncomfortable at the time with the flirting you did with Laurie, esp. given that it happened after the garbage with the Prof.  You admitted as such that it was wrong and we all go on and in theory everything is cool.  In the thread that was deleted, you made a joke that was in pretty poor taste.  Again, you apologized for that joke and in theory all is OK.  But in the next breath you commented on the behavior of the Sandbox in such a way that made it sound like, perhaps, you thought of your general behavior as above all that, when historically it hasn't necessarily seemed that way.  That really made me uncomfortable but once the thread was deleted I was prepared to let it drop and say no more to anyone (my only comment to them was to restate my concern with my discomfort about the history).  But since Ian made reference to that PM, I guess I have to say what I was thinking explicitly.  Chuck, you know I love you in Christ like a brother, I just think that an apology immediately followed by criticism of the environment makes it sound like you are either excusing your behavior by linking it to the context or else you aren't being totally sincere.  I just felt VERY uncomfortable with the context, especially since you DID call out Ian by name in reference to past behavior in a bit of sarcasm (which is part of why I bounced my concern off of him -- it was pretty obvious).

I don't want to start any problems here.  But Charles, maybe you could just have apologized and left it at that and none of this would have happened.  That was my take.

OK, I get REEALLLY nervous when crickets chirp after I post something like this and the posts were flying so fast 5 minutes ago...

Don't worry Jeff.  :D

Quite the interesting Sunday afternoon this has turned out to be.

I'm busy on MSN, chatting with a dear, dear friend.   :)

http://www.arbys.com/arb03.html

if anyone's interested, here's a way to make some money by opening your own arby's franchise.

let's turn this frown updside down!

Nice try guys, but until the two people I am currently stuck between say something, I will still feel like throwing up....

Maybe they're actually out taking that mind-clearing walk...

You did the right thing, there, Jeff.

Except that they all are listed as "currently reading this thread".

I've never seen so many people watching this board.  :o

(singing) "Don't worry ba-by..."

I'm going to bed soon. That's really interesting isn't it?

So everybody's just sitting and waiting for someone to post something that will get the fight started again.

You *still* did the right thing, Jeff.

http://www.arbys.com/locator/

you can use the above link to find an arby's near you! who doesn't love curly fries?

Plus: FWIW, *i* remember the naked picture, does nobody else? Picture of Laurie's faced photoshopped onto a naked girl in a hottub if I remember correctly. And coming so soon as it did after events that caused the board to implode, it made me take *great* pause. But hey, I'm chronically oversensitive.

No need to feel that way, Jeff.  I was going to type an extended reply about 1) flirting and 2) the professor, but I'm tired of talking about either.  Neither were what they seemed at the time, and certainly neither were how they are being presented now ("naked pictures of Laurie").  I've apologised for things I've done, and apologised for things I have not done.   Thanks to everyone who participated, and I hope we are able to see the good that comes from this.

I don't remember seeing that. And I don't know what Arbys are/is. The time-difference thing is frustrating.. will I be able to catch a repeat of tonight's Sandbox episode tomorrow?  :D
Lets get the love back.

I certainly wasn't looking for an extended reply, and the ONLY reason past behavior got brought up was that extra little bit of criticism that was added to your posts yesterday.  In that context, it seemed a bit off.  I have said all that I said on the thread and in private to Ian, and I am prepared to let it all drop. 

We are vultures at our core, aren't we?  We love a good train wreck.  We can't help it.

Perhaps they're PMing about this issue, discussing it with each other instead of with all of us, which is as it should be, imho.

Wendy's makes the best fries.

YES!!! I agree!

Letting it all drop would be a fine idea.

And, in the future, if I upset anyone, if I make anyone "uncomfortable," take it to me, not someone else.  Things get resolved quicker and better that way.  I can't stop history from being rewritten, but I'm more than willing to address any current complaints anyone has.  No need for drama.

If you ever come to Columbus, stop by here on your way to my place.....

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/OHCOLwendys.html

Okay, but hopefully you will not come back and tease the person about being "uncomfortable". 

Since I've managed to settle things down here, anything you want on the menu below is on me!

http://www.arbys.com/menu/

's a good thing you're cute...

FYI, folks: Ian has been temporarily banned.

Ian=Jordan Catalano
Beckner=Angela Chase
Chris D=Mr. Racine

 ???

I think i would just like it to be noted that this thread, "The Voice of Experience," actually starts with MY post on the second page.  The long one.  I'm not sure what purpose is served by combining threads here, and i'm sure Charles didn't mean to mislead or anything, but it's not Ian's experience that began this thread.

Not that i need a deep breath about it or anything...

Aw, forget it.

I have a sneakin suspicion Maybelline was refering to a specific philathropic gesture on Danza's part, and NOT pitting Danza against Baio in a beefcake contest (!) Shoe leather w/ mayo works for me...Short of threatening the life of the POTUS, which is already against the Law,anything should be allowed in the Sandbox, like it or not...isn't that what Freedom of speech is about ? Merely skimmed thru Susan's post (at this point) and I wasn't on the board when the Spam hit the fan...The Blueboard is kinda like a charming used book store;SS is like a three story Barnes and Noble...apples and oranges...Kinda nice to know I'm no longer the newest banana in the bunch--If I may--Welcome Trader !

P.S. Surely we can discuss in a more or less adult manner anything we want to...

Yikes.  I guess it does.  Abject apologies, Ian.  I'm sorry.  I knew who i was typing to; the wrong name came out of my fingers.  I'm sorry.

That over the last couple of days there are more people than ever watching the sandbox!  :D

That's because there's so much poop in here. Who doesn't love poop?

I thought it was the drama.

Well, drama is of a rather poopish consistency, isn't it?

I've had some dramatic bowel movements, yes.

I hope that wasn't an offensive confession.

 :-\ :o

Dramatic bowel movements........with sweeping string sections and angelic choruses and heavenly horns?

Not all of us are into industrial like you, J.

 :D

It's the most miserable fun I've had in a long time!

Why'd you leave Chris?

You'll have to send me your book of jokes to keep this place rolling like you had it.

Can Ian come back and play now?  This thread is starting to suck.   :-\

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/0e/EverybodyPoopsBookCover.jpeg/180px-EverybodyPoopsBookCover.jpeg)

Take comfort in your friends.

feel a parody coming on--everybody poops...don't forget to wash your hands...hold on... hold on

Drink "Comfort" with your friends.

(http://www.rareads.com/scans/14350.jpg)

good enough to steal, but you would get credit...I still have some principals...My grade school principal is in Georgia, and my high school principal is in Maryland...Here's a snippet from another one, think Razor Boy- Steely Dan:
(chorus)
will you stil have a cart to push
when the Manager comes and takes your Safeway shirt away
will you still be pushin 'em on this cold and windy day

the answer is yes...'til later, over and out...