The Smiley Smile Message Board

Just for fun, can we come up with 12 absolute clinkers? I think Elvis had one, maybe a boot, "Elvis' Greatest Shits". Rules: Only band, no solo. Must be officially released. No "comedy" skits, like Bull Session With Big Daddy. Songs or instrumentals are accepted.

(http://dangerousminds.net/content/uploads/images/made/content/uploads/images/beachboys2011615_465_473_int.jpg)

also:

Ten Little Indians

(http://www.7inchrecords.com/Discography/BeachBoys/StenlittleindiansDK.jpg)
7" Ten Little Indians Denmark Capitol F 4880. Value: 250 €

County Fair
(http://images.45cat.com/the-beach-boys-ten-little-indians-1962-5.jpg)

(Since we're only talking songs, I'm leaving off Denny's Drums)

Ten Little Indians
She's Going Bald
Vegetables
Wind Chimes (SS Version)
Take a Load Off Your Feet
Mt. Vernon
Let Us Go On This Way
I Wanna Pick You Up
Here Comes the Night '79
Surfin 92
Summer of Love
Under the Boardwalk

Custom Machine
(http://www.e-profession.com/images/va_big_hot_rod_hits.jpeg)

There is a great compilation out there called “Endless Bummer” and it is chock full of the band’s most dreadful moments.

I like about half of those!  ;D

To each their own. 

Man, this is difficult. I'm sorry but I can't think of any absolute clinkers. There are lesser tracks----but absolute clinkers? :o

Does "Happy Endings" count? :lol

Smiley Smile Wind Chimes?

In the list of worst ever Beach Boys songs?

W T F?

I'm Going Bald - is that the Mike solo version of The Beach Boys' SHE'S going Bald?

.

I'll never forget the day I found Endless Bummer at a used record store in 2002. I picked it up and loudly said "WHAT?!?!?!?". I couldn't stop laughing at the song titles: Mike Sells Out, Mike Sells Out Again, Brian Hanging With Some Nerds, Kokomo Spanish Version Double Yuck!, I'm A Genius Too... It was the first time I heard Smart Girls. Definitely one of the weirdest cds I own.

.

I'm just sorry to hear that he's going bald.

Cuckoo Clock
South Bay Surfer
Tears in the Morning
Student Demonstration Time
Here She Comes
The Beaks of Eagles
Talk to Me
TM Song
Oh Darlin
Wipeout
Summer of Love
Still Surfin

Oops.  I actually confused it with a similarly titled Rush song. 

Absolutely, I could've put half of Smiley Smile on my list, but I wanted some variety. 

Yep, I'm sorry.  I'm a huge Beach Boys fans, but I will never understand the fascination with these songs (or most of Smiley Smile or Love You). 

(https://e.snmc.io/lk/l/l/991e80da9250f2673cef4d8566e7f5cd/4123577.jpg)

No contest. Some of the worst sounding schlock I've ever heard.

If I had seen this picture before watching the movie in the 80s, I think I would have assumed that Bruce was the problem child.

 :lol Very true! Nice touch that Bruce not only color-coordinated his varsity jacket but also his shoes with the Coleman cooler he's sitting on.

Seriously, that song and that image on that cover was part of the living hell of being a Beach Boys fan during that era and trying to explain how and why this was indeed the same band who made Pet Sounds. The stock answer would often be "ask the guy wearing the flat cap WTF is going on..."

Surfin' (1992)
Strange Things Happen
Remember (Walking in the Sand)
Happy Endings
Make It Big
Maybe I Don't Know
Passing Friend
Chasin' the Sky
East Meets West
Angel Come Home
Love Surrounds Me
Goin' South

GF had a rough go of it before BW's solo tours! ;D

Here's some six degrees of separation stuff.  The outfit Bruce is wearing is almost identical to what John Ritter wears at the climax in the movie Real Men.  Three years later, Ritter would star in Problem Child, which for one sequence, used the music theme from Real Men.  

(http://images3.cinema.de/imedia/2544/2112544,TfpHoAlyl6FoVNR2ljANu6zfG6xNplQYfKbP39Vm3ZKmieqf1zKkLVkXbNG3hm0kOZWcydgMV7bprf5m_mClgg==.jpg)

Just lump everything new the Beach Boys did from the "Kokomo/Baywatch" era together, say 1987 up to Stars & Stripes...take out the very few exceptions like the box set shows and some of the campfire scenes from that TV series they tried, label the multimedia compilation "Mike's Worst Shits", release it on a limited edition USB thumb drive to go with Mike's next tour program package, and call it a day.

Looking back with anger, I'm surprised Mike didn't try to wrangle a booking for the band to do a guest spot on "Saved By The Bell" as Mr. Belding's old school chums coming back to visit and winning over all the hip, jaded young teenagers like Zach and Slater with their performance of "Summer Of Love" at the school dance.

Yes, I know we're not supposed to edit people's posts, but............

No worries, I've said similar thoughts many times over the past 3-4 years on various BB related MBs. 

 ;D

  ;D, Don't  worry, I still Love You

Thanks

 :)

I just realized my least didn't include anything off KSTA.  Dang. 

Oh my lord, how did this not happen? For the music video single I can see Mike dancing with the cast on a volleyball court at the school, while the band performs a special version of the theme song called “Saved By The Surf” featuring a 30 second sax solo.

*GF has another flashback* :lol

I'd be hard pressed to come up with 12 "clinkers" from the Boys.

Definitely "Cuckoo Clock"...not only is it bad, it's also creepy. I'm surprised only one person here had it on their list!

And probably "Chug A Lug".

Maybe "Summer Of Love"....OK, probably...even definitely.

I could see where someone might include "W. Woodpecker Symphony"...but it doesn't bother me too much.

There's probably another one or two somewhere that I could name, if I had to...but probably not twelve. There are definitely some lyrical moments that make me cringe - like some lines on "California Callin'" and "Hey Little Tomboy" - but not enough for me to condemn the whole song!   >:D

I would have a hard time putting any Surfin' Safari songs on an album of clinkers. It was their first album, they were just getting started. Is all of it brilliant? No, but I have a much harsher opinion of stuff they did later on. For example:
Transcendental Meditation - shouldn't a TM song be peaceful, melodic? This atonal s*** is anything but.
Take a Load Off Your Feet - who the h*** needs a song about feet? the song stinks as bad as the subject.
Make it Good - I love Dennis, but this song just goes nowhere
I Wanna Pick You Up - it's just creepy, as is
Hey Little Tomboy
Some of Your Love - musically, it's decent, but again, Mike is near forty and still singing about being in high school
Happy Endings - some beautiful group vocals, but Little Richard oversings his parts, and the song is worthless
Summer of Love - creepy again

The Shift
Louie, Louie
Wonderful [Smiley Smile Ver.]
Hide Go Seek
Make It Good
Mt. Vernon and Fairway [EP]
TM Song
I Saw Santa Rockin' 'Round the Christmas Tree
Sunshine
Maybe I Don't Know
Passing Friend
Still Cruisin'

1. Shortenin Bread
2. Love Is A Women
3. Summer Of Love
4. Surfin 92
5. Island Fever
6. Chasing The Sky
7. Remember Walking In The Sand
8. Under The Boardwalk
9. Wrinkles
10. Rubles
11. Rolling Up To Heaven
12. Winds Of Change

 :o I could easily put it in my "Best of the Beach Boys" 12 track compilation

Sorry, but in my opinion, it doesn't make sense as a song. Too embarrassing. The middle, revised H&V riff, is pretty good though.

That said, SMiLE version of Wonderful is a thing of beauty- it's a gift from God, I believe.

I agree.  The two versions, to me, are like night and day. 

You can't include Songs like Wrinkles, Rubles and Rollin' Up to Heaven because the starter of the topic, GoogaMooga says 'Must be officially released'.

Somehow pretty exact metaphor.

"Hey Little Tomboy" (either version) and "Lazy Lizzie" are interesting enough musically, but yeah, lyrically they're arguably as heinous and creepy as it gets in the BB/Brian catalog.

They can't do anything about "Tomboy", and I don't think anything should be censored from released albums. But I somehow doubt we'll ever see "Lazy Lizzie" officially released, and it's probably just as well.

Worst BBs songs comp  (in no specific order)

1Ten Little Indians (...Kinda racist...)
2 Summer of Love (No one should hear Mike Love rap...)
3 Surfin (SIP version) [Original version was great, but this sucks)
4 Finders Keepers (I just can't stand this song, seems lazy)
5 Hey Little Tomboy (Fine melody/chords, just too creepy for me)
6 Here Comes The Night (LA)
7 Barbie (I know it's pre-capitol, but yikes)
8 Remember Walking In The Sand (just bad)
9 Problem Child (Yeah... no thanks)
10 TM Song (Could've been good, but just lazy)
11 Lana (Kinda bugs me)
12 Wipe Out (from Still Cruisin)

Look, the sooner we all come to terms with the fact that Smiley Smile is one of the greatest albums ever, and that the Smiley Smile version of Wind Chimes is perhaps the greatest thing ever commited to tape in the known universe,  then the sooner this board can return to some semblance of normality.

I agree!

I agree again!

You need to do a set at a comedy club, because (Kenny Banya voice) that's gold. 

 ;D

I hate to say it, but distilling the worst down to 12 tracks is very difficult.  I love the Beach Boys, but there are so many clunkers to choose from.

I'm frankly glad the band had enough output over the years to amass a list of 12 or 20 or however many dud tracks.

I always go back to the idea that the main point in all of this, this music/art thing, is to keep creating. The BBs did that for a good solid 25 years or so, and then sporadically after that, and with some solo stuff mixed in.

I'd rather have 30 albums with 15 albums worth of great material and 10 albums worth of okay material and then 5 of not-so-great material, than have a catalog of seven albums where five or six of them are good.

I'm not saying an artist can never stand to do some self-editing and paring down. But I don't want to "MIU Album" to not exist if that means not having "My Diane." And so on.

In this way, the BBs catalog, especially after a certain point, is like McCartney's solo catalog. Yeah, you get "acted like a dustbin lid" in the process, but you also get "Somedays" and "Friends to Go" and "Vintage Clothes" and so on. 

This is probably one of the lists in this thread that I have the most trouble salvaging anything from. I suppose I like "TM Song" more, just because it's so weird, especially with Al singing it. "Remember Walking in the Sand" is indeed awful, but Carl puts a lot of gusto into his lead vocal at least.

He who laughs last, laughs loud, but he who smiles first, smiley smiles forever.

That's Indian wisdom dude.

I also agree.  But then again, I have an enormous amount of fun at night.

I think that mine would probably just be "Passing Friend" 12 times over.  If you disagree, try listening to it twelve times in a row and see how happy you are at the end.

Nah, dont want ear cancer.

Its 5 minute length is utterly unforgiving! x12

If it were under 3 mins, its a decent song.   

1. Summer of Love
2. Cuckoo Clock
3.  In My Car
4. Don't Hurt My Little Sister (yes, I know...I don't care for this song)
5.  Problem Child
6. In the Back of My Mind (original version- the single tracked version is better, but I've never understand people's love for this song. I do like the 1975 version, though)
7. I'm So Lonely
8. Crack at your love
9. I'ts Just a Matter of Time
10. School days
11. Endless Harmony
12. Winds of Change

This will be easier to start from recent and work my way back.

1. Still Surfin
2. Do You Remember?
3. Summer in Paradise
4. Still Cruisin
5. California Calling
6. Kona Coast
7. That Same Song
8. Come Go With Me
9. Drive In
10. Island Girl
11. Summer of Love
12. Lahaina Aloha

Summer In Paradise-the whole warped shebang.

Bonus Disk includes:

Everyone's In Love With You
Sumahama
Pisces Brothers
Daybreak Over The Ocean
Wrinkles

Gotta disagree...Strange Things Happen and Lahaina Aloha are pretty spiffy IMHO.

Rest of the album can be melted.

I think theres a great song somewhere in In the Back of My Mind.  But, its not been heard

It's too cluttered, and Dennis's voice does not suit the song.

I think I may be the only one who likes the 1975 version, but IMHO it blows the original out the water

I think had Brian sang the 65 version, it wouldve worked better.

Im not a fan of the 75 version.   

I think with '65 Brian, it may have been even worse! I think the reason why I like the '75 version is because of Brian's voice. Overall, the song is just not that good.

I think that version is the nadir of Brian's singing voice.  I do think theres a good song in there.......somewhere

Yeah, I'm kinda goofy like that....I'm not as much for a fan of Brian's voice* before 1967 as others are


*in comparison to other vocal periods.

I love the 1975 version! Was so pleased that I went for the 'bonus track' NPP.

Oh wow, the majority of my favorite Brian leads are prior to 67

Yeah I'm kind of an odd bird, but to me Brian's vocals in the latter half of the 60's were his best

Cuckoo Clock getting lots of mentions.

Forget those lyrics. Reassess it for one of the coolest B3 solos Brian ever did.

And Get It Off Those Lists!

Also, Billy. Back Of My Mind. Really?????

As I say to my kids at school. You are all making very bad choices.

I don't need to make a list. I can just stab a pin 12 times in any post 1970s Beach Boys album. Job done.

I can't stand Brian's voice on Cuckoo Clock. Way too shrill, and I think he might agree with me! His vocals may have declined post 1975, but pitch-wise here he misses quite a few notes.

But then again, the first album that I liked most of the songs on was either Shut Down Vol.2 or All Summer Long, so your mileage may very

Brian has always been quite loose with his pitching. It's apparent even on Pet Sounds.   I suppose that's one of the reasons overdubbing always worked so well for them.  You get that wonderful shimmer.

Modern production techniques rob us of Brian's innate sense of pitch.

Just off the top of my head, but:

Be True to Your School (album version)
Cherry, Cherry Coupe
Long Tall Texan
Little Deuce Coupe/I Get Around (Party album versions)
This Car of Mine
Ballad of Ol' Betsey
Pom Pom Playgirl
Amusement Parks USA
Mama Says
You're Welcome
Transcendental Meditation
That Same Song

"Bonus" tracks:  Love is A Woman, Passing Friend, California Calling, Let's Put Our Hearts Together, Winds of Change, Belles of Paris, Kona Coast of Hawaii (or whatever it was called), Shortnin' Bread, Sumahama, and too many others to mention.  Yeah they did a lot of crappy stuff by volume, but not so much by percentage!

1) Summer of Love
2) Spring Vacation
3) Beaches in Mind
4) Passing Friend
5) Winds of Change
6) California Calling
7) Summer in Paradise
8. Forever (Stamos Version)
9) Belles of Paris
10) Sumahama
11) She Believes in Love Again
12) Everyone's in Love with you

I can't believe no one has mentioned "howdi from Maui" yet and a lot of Stars and stripes..

Smart Girls
Summer of Love
Brian's Back
Surfin' (92)
One Summer Night
Hey Little Tomboy
Belles of Paris
Jingle Bell Rock (Mike and Dean)
Spring Vacation
Little GTO (Salute to Nascar)
Sun City (ML and Adrian Baker)
Girls of the World (ML and Adrian Baker)

When I read the thread title Smart Girls immediately came to mind as the all time worst Beach Boys associated song, but then in the orig post I noticed, "Rules: Only band, no solo. Must be officially released."

So my vote as all time worst track released by the Beach Boys goes to Summer of Love. A totally smarmy song made even worse by the fact that the guy singing "Well it's a love thing" has the last name of Love.

Why the members of the band thought this song was a good idea is a mystery to me. Fortunately, for the sake of the Beach Boys' legacy, Summer of Love is not available for download or streaming, but unfortunately the video, featuring all the members of the band, can be seen on YouTube.

Ouch!! One of a number of songs listed so far that I actually like a lot.

The only pre MIU songs I would consider are

When Girls Get Together

and

Deidre (and that's only because Deidre is an old ladies name here in the UK so I can't take it seriously)

But I'd only consider them.  I probably wouldn't include them

Narrowed it down to the "40 Greatest Shits" - needs to be a double CD.  I'm not a big fan of the Jack Reilly and Blondie/Ricky eras.

Beaches in Mind
Bull Session With 'Big Daddy'
Cassius Love vs. Sonny Wilson
Chug-A-Lug
County Fair
Cuckoo Clock
Custom Machine
A Day In The Life Of A Tree
Denny's Drums
Finders Keepers
He Come Down
Here Comes The Night (Disco Version)
Hey, Little Tomboy
Hold On, Dear Brother
Hot Fun In The Summertime
Island Fever
Island Girl
Lady Liberty
Lookin' At Tomorrow
Male Ego
No-Go Showboat
Oh, Darlin'
Our Favorite Recording Sessions
Our Team   
Pom Pom Playgirl
Problem Child
Remember "Walking In The Sand"
She's Goin' Bald
Shortenin' Bread
Slow Summer Dancing (One Summer Night)
Somewhere Near Japan
Strange Things Happen
Summer In Paradise
Surfin' (1992 Version)
Take A Load Off Your Feet
Ten Little Indians
This Car Of Mine
TM Song
Under The Boardwalk
When Girls Get Together

Day in the life of a tree?

Pom Pom Play Girl???

Jesus f**king Christ!

The first is Brian at his most painstakingly honest,.......and that organ! Just sublime....

Tte second, I mean, come on. Listen to those harmonies and modulations. This song is everything that is GREAT about the Beach Boys!

I'm truly shocked.  :lol

Might make me a list of the 12 crappest Beach Boys fans

I think we would all come at "worst" lists from a different angle. Are we talking songs we actually wish they'd never recorded? Or just songs we might tend to skip? Or is this a reverse-desert-island-disc scenario where we can keep our BB collection but have to jettison a small amount of songs? Or the "so bad it's funny" stuff that we still might enjoy or laugh at?

When someone says they don't like something, especially if they claim to just HATE something, my first question/response I always want to come up with is "Okay, let me see your list/collection of things you DO like."

I can't count how many times someone has said they HATE some movie, and yet they have like "American Pie 5" on their DVD shelf.

So yeah, I've run into BB fans who HATE every song on "So Tough", yet have like five copies of "Mike Love Salutes NASCAR."

It's how fandom works I guess.

There's a fan on another BB board I frequent who dislikes much of the Jack Rieley Era stuff, but loves the Love You album. 

So, you can also accept an outlying opinion without the need to judge their opinions, or compile evidence about how their taste in somehow inferior. 

For some reason your statement about not liking a particular movie, but liked a (perceived to be) dumb movie reminded of an exchange in Family Guy where Peter is forced to explain why he didn't like The Godfather.  His ultimate reply was "I like The Money Pit."   

When it's just fans saying what they like, then I don't think any further judgment is called for (nor is it useful anyway).

However, when it starts to veer even slightly into what we would call the field of music criticism, even if it's not an actual "music critic" writing professionally or anything, when the analysis goes beyond "I like this, I don't like that" and gets into the *why* in any meaningful/substantive way, then the *other* things that person has analyzed/criticized does become a pertinent piece of information. At least, it's pertinent for the purposes of weighing what they say accordingly.

Having some "guilty pleasure" preferences and things like that, or conversely just really finding a particular song (or movie, etc.) annoying, is different from taking any sort of objective viewpoint in criticizing (or approving of) a given piece.

I can say, for instance, that I'm not as enamored with "Pacific Ocean Blue" as others based on my personal preference, but I also objectively acknowledge it's brilliance. Make no mistake, I think the album is great. But I have no problem being honest in saying it's not the first thing I reach for to pull off the shelf.

That's one of those things that makes things like music lists and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame so difficult. 

I kinda feel the same way you do about POB, so I can relate there.  But I'd bet if you polled 100 people who weren't necessarily BB fanatics and had them listen to the album from start to finish, I doubt you'd get all of them to conclusively say that "it's great" regardless of their personal preference. 

I get what your saying guys, but Pom Pom Play Girl?

It's criminal.

The Beach Boys *did* try about 20-25 seconds of "Pom Pom Playgirl" in 1971:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9fx81wKt-g

And you know I'm being tongue in cheek.

Just trying to find an over the top way of expressing my genuine suprise at some of thee choices.

I didn't need to qualify that, your all intellugent peeple.

  Brian's Back. While I can appreciate the sentiment, the lyrics make me cringe every time. Hey Little Tomboy is a close 2nd.