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Non Smiley Smile Stuff => The Sandbox => Topic started by: D Cunningham on May 31, 2017, 06:53:33 AM

Title: "Hank Briarstem Arrested for DUI"
Post by: D Cunningham on May 31, 2017, 06:53:33 AM
Someone recently sent me a clipping from a Clearwater* paper (old-style!) reporting such. Thought you should avoid confusion. It’s not our boy. I phoned  Briarstem’s third wife Candy*, who said it couldn’t have been Hank, who, she swore, was in England at the time of incident. To back it up, I contacted the Clearwater paper, which established that the person of interest was named Hank Earl Briarstem. Another dude…so, not to worry. Candy informed me that our Briarstem was in Merry Old tracking down legendary BB fanboy Topgazza. It seems the two had a big falling-out over a trade-gone-bad. Hank had offered a 1977 Silver Jubilee scones tin* for Topgazza’s (purported) “Dutch Uncle” double-vinyl boot of Holland outtakes. When Hank complained that the boot seemed to be a piss-poor recording of what seemed to be Zydeco/Polish-harmony fusion, Topgazza demurred, claiming you could hear someone yelling “where the hell is Desper when you need him” near the end of the third album side. Hank headed across the pond to seek restitution, and topgazza went into hiding.

*she and I had a little pas de deux about 14 months ago.
*oddly enough, found at an outdoor flea market in Bowling Green KY. Evidently the tin was embossed, with 4-color designs and a striking illustration of the queen looking vaguely like Scarlett Johansson.

Title: Re: \
Post by: JK on May 31, 2017, 02:34:09 PM
I love this stuff. Anything involving (or only half involving) "our boy" is required reading. Bless you, sir!   

Title: "Hank Briarstem Arrested for DUI"
Post by: D Cunningham on June 01, 2017, 05:13:24 AM
Thanks, JK. Will let you know what I hear. The bumgravy crowd moves slowly
these days. No texting and lots of pressure-lowering eye-drop medications.*
Hank remains an enigma worth considering*.

*in my case, Lumigan (bimatoprost 0.1 mg/ml)
*even if his recent travels and detours prevented him from offering input into the new Wild Honey issue.