The Smiley Smile Message Board

Hey folks,

So I tried to write a song that I thought could have been some lost early Beatles song. I was proud of it at first but then I had a friend listen to it and he noticed that one part was a note for note rip-off of an actual Beatles song which I was not aiming for. I modified the melody very, very slightly to see if I could avoid the similarity. I thought I'd paste a demo of the song here to see if anyone picks up on it too or if I changed it enough.

Please don't judge the quality too much. I more than likely would not be the vocalist on the final version and my already weak vocals are weaker than usual in demo form. It's also just me and an acoustic guitar so you'd have to imagine the song dressed up a bit more to give it that early 60s Beatles sound that I'm going for. Let me know and thanks for your help!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EdJxadPGjw

Nice to hear voice of rockandroll. Not what I imagined it to sound like. To answer the question, I hear "All My Loving" in the chorus & traces of "Nowhere Man" (similar order of notes? chords?) in the verses. But you developed the chorus further, whereas in "All My Loving" it ended just there.  Vocally, you have the same nasal tone as John. Speaking of, you're right in your criticism. You should indeed ask smb. else to sing the final take. The voice is nice, not good. Is this the 1st song you'd written? Good start.

Thanks for the response. I've been writing songs for about 20 years now I'd say and I've posted one here before but I appreciate the encouragement nonetheless!

Really good stuff here, honestly I can see this really great with some light backing vocals and tambourine and bongos.

Don't worry about similarities. Just write what's in your heart, even if that sounds a bit like other songs.

Wow, very kind. Thank you. I like your suggestions about what to add and now I will do just that!

I'm new here, but as a lifelong Beatles fan who's been on an early Beatles kick the last few days, I feel qualified to say, you have succeeded! I'm getting a distinct "Bad To Me" feel from this song. The choruses also remind me of another Beatles song that I can't quite place. Cool exercise. I'm curious what song your friend picked up from it?

Thanks for the comments. Your comparison is very much correct. I'm not sure what the original inspiration was for the song -- I found it on my cell phone amongst dozens of other incomplete melodies that I have sung into it over the last year. So I don't know what was going through my head at the time but it must have been an early Beatles sound. However when I began completing the song last week I listened to John Lennon's demo of "Bad To Me" because that was the kind of feeling I wanted to convey. So your comment is spot on.

However, RangeRover is correct too because when I played it to my friend he noticed that the chorus unintentionally copied the melody of the chorus of All My Loving (and, indeed, as I looked into it later, the chords are pretty similar there too). In an earlier version the part where I sing "And I know" was sung to the exact same melody as "All my loving" in that song. In the version you're hearing, I changed that slightly so that it wasn't so direct.

All the comments have been very helpful so far. Thanks!

Would you direct the link?
And now I totally hear "Bad to Me"; kudos to B.E.'s sharp ear! It's a nice ditty.

As requested, here's the link to the other thread where I posted a song:

http://smileysmile.net/board/index.php/topic,10607.0.html

Nothing wrong with the vocals. It even sounds a bit like some of the Lennon demos in tone as well as the more restrained voice he used there . Nice chords and feel too   :)

Just saw this Orange22. Thanks so much for your comments. I take your remark that it sounds a bit like some of the Lennon demos as a major compliment.

Is it about to be posted soon?

Thanks for the response. Hopefully I will be able to work on the collection of songs I have fairly soon but I have very little free time to record music at the moment.

I think it really achieves what it's trying to achieve - lost Beatles' song. I like it.
But I really like Make it Thru.

Thanks very much. I agree, Make it Thru is the better song. I wrote that one many years ago now. I'm afraid I can't write 'em like that anymore!

nice tune :)  it actually reminds me of 'Misery' a bit but not enough to be a problem

Thanks so much!

I really like it. More John's style in 1964 imo. Maybe it's the acoustic guitar which lends that impression, I dunno. But really well done on you. Bravo.