The Smiley Smile Message Board

Can someone PLEASE put me out of my misery?!

That sucks, man. I'll send good thoughts your way.

Thanks Ian. The past two years have been terrible. At times I wonder why I even bother to continue.

All the best, man. Keep going at the very least for your kids. They need you more than you know.

My wife and daughter are the only things keeping me going at this point. As I was telling a dear friend earlier, im 34 years old and have done jack sh*t. The one time I was making good money, I up and had a minor stroke so they decided they didn't need me any more. The only thing im good at really can't make me money. I Guarandamntee I have probably the best musical ear of anyone not named Wilson, but because I didn't finish college, it's not like I  can get a job in a studio, especially now that most people are DIY these says. I mean, the best shot I have of leaving any kind of positive legacy is after im gone if someone were to go through my old tapes and realize I was doing dubstep 15 years ago before anyone ever heard of Skrillex. Realizing I will never be financially stable depresses me as much as knowing I could have amounted to something had I not been too chickenshit earlier. Every place in town that is hiring is just minimum wage and part time. Wife is on disability and that is our only income. I am stuck like this, and the hopelessness probably is the most depressing part of all.

sh*t, billy. I'm sorry, and you are in my thoughts.

Thanks dude. I must have been a real sh*t during my past life. At this point I hope my next go round is better.

Billy, you seem like a great guy and I always enjoy reading your posts. I am not really familiar with your situation beyond this thread, but I do wish you the best of luck and hope you get over this rough patch. The dubstep thing you mentioned sounds pretty cool and if you're as talented as you said, then I'm sure there's gotta be something you can do with it.

Sorry man.  Do not get too depressed.  Get drunk have a good cry... but get it out of your system tonight.  This is transition, that's all.  An opportunity to do something better, which will be the case.

Eh... Can't drink as im not in the best of health. Couldn't afford it anyways. Just came back from job hunting with no luck. All the previous experience I have means sh*t. Im about a good 30k or so in debt. Foreclosure proceedings are coming. I have been struggling to keep my emotions under control for two years, since those bastardly Douche Network assholes decided to fire me while in hospital. Don't worry though... Not gonna top myself. I have a family. Besides, knowing my luck I'd probably f*** that up too and end up a vegetable.

Sorry to hear about your problems Billy. The economy sucks for just about everyone right now in one way or another. Just barrel through it and hope we all come out in one piece on the other side.  ;)

Hold on, Billy; we all care for you here. Turn to family and friends; you may be surprised who is there for you.

The Professor sends his best

Thank you guys.  I really don't have too many people to turn to. My family disowned me years ago (at least the ones who are still living; oh no, the folks who actually gave a sh*t about me are the ones who get sick and die smh).

I know one thing, though...auditions for The Voice are gonna be here in Houston on 9 Feb.  Can't hurt.

Get your resume together and let's get it out -- post it on here some way, PM if you prefer.  There's folks all over the damn planet on this forum.  Quite often, the shite we really care about doesn't pay... but the stuff we can do does.

Have you tried temp agencies Billy?

Also, I don't want to get all sentimental or anything, but,  :hug

Thanks Fish. I actually hit up temp agencies today with no luck. I can't do a lot of real physical work, and nothing was available at this time.

 And hell, maybe things are happening like this for a reason. My dream since I was a kid has been to have a music career. I ended up concentrating on writing and (especially) producing and engineering rather than singing, but it sure can't hurt to try . Ten years ago, I was starting to make some moves. I had done some freelance work, and was contracted to do the soundtrack for a freeware space shooter. It didn't pan out due to legal issues (not mine!) but that led to a couple of potential label deals the following year. Didn't happen, as a series of personal tragedies ended up taking most of my attention. Then, a few years later when my daughter was born, my focus became on trying to support my family and I put the dream aside. I went from writing and recording an average of about 10-15 songs per month to not completing more than a handful of songs for a few years. No sh*t...not only do I have close to 300 tracks online, I have a suitcase full of cassette tapes that I've never uploaded (and that's not including stuff I did while I was in college from 1997-2001). No exaggeration, I must have done probably about 450-500 songs since 2001. But...I couldn't bring myself to do something with it. I have album-length works all sequenced, mixed, mastered, everything. Yet...I couldn't bring myself to actually start selling them or submitting demos. Hell, even when I got some radio play I couldn't do anything. Sure, it was college-radio (KTRU), but still. I mean, I never submitted a demo or nothing; unbeknownst to me. the station manager was on my mailing list at Soundclick and had done some downloading apparently. Yet, that wasn't enough. Now, I look back at all the time I wasted and I get pissed off. I had plenty of opportunities, but fear of rejection and doing what others expected me to do (i.e.,' real' work as opposed to a 'silly dream') ended up costing me big. I think that's what's got me down, because now that I'm ready, i feel like time passed me by. Long-time posters know I'm actually very defensive when it comes to modern music. Thing is, as alluded to before, I'd been doing much of this ten to fifteen years ago, but figured nobody would get it. Now, I hear NES samples being used as the basis for pop songs, or I hear hip hop with techno-influenced beats, and I shake my head because I've done it already .

Didn't mean for that to be so long, although I have started to feel a little better over the past couple of hours. All this is a roundabout way of saying it's these missed opportunities that are what is killing me from the inside out. Because of a combination of fear and also people telling me that I was wasting my time and should 'man up' and get a 'real' job, I missed out on too many opportunities. Now, anything I write is going to be compared to something that's already been done, unless I somehow stumble on a new sound by accident (and really, a lot of the earlier work I did I was just trying to experiment... I thought I was making noise :lol). So, to make an epic story just merely long, I'm not going to make the same mistake again. I'm gonna go ahead and do this audition. If I make it to the callback auditions, I'd consider that to be a huge success. I'm not expecting to (and really, I have a decent voice, but my true talent is in my ear as opposed to my throat), but at least I'll be doing something towards accomplishing my dream.

Good luck. Hope something comes along soon.

.

Hell, I was just foolin' around too ! Usually I'd do karaoke when..um... "buzzed", so it's been s while since I've actually tried. Gotta start practicing!.

.

Yeah, I think with me I am looser. Wife says my best vocals come when im not really trying, just singing around the house while cleaning or something

I've heard some of your stuff Billy. You've got talent coming out the wazoo.  ;D Keep it up. Get those songs uploaded and/or finished. Eventually somebody has to notice you and reach out in some way. Send your version of Still I Dream Of It to Brian's people. They might like it enough to pass it on to somebody in the business who could find some kind of work for you. I'm an occasional poet/writer. It's mostly as a hobby, but everybody whose seen my writing has told me to try to get published. Send me an instrumental track or two, and we'll see if we can turn it into a hit. ;)

A lot of people here really care about you. Hell, you're one of us now. We aren't letting you get away easily. You're basically stuck with us now.  :lol

Thanks Jay. Hell bro, I'd love to work with you. I'll try to work on some tracks specifically to leave room for vocals.

Thanks to everyone in this thread for being there for me. I've had a fuckton of ups and downs lately, with more downs than ups, and I'm glad I have some people in my corner. While I hunt for a job, I'm gonna work like hell on music and try to get something to happen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xefp25PDYG4&feature=youtu.be

Did this earlier. Posted it in the karaoke thread too but what the hell.

Good Luck Billy!

Thankya!

Billy!  I don't normally venture into The Sandbox, but I didn't realise how big you were/are with writing/producing.

Cool cover of Plain White T's, man that song brings back memories for me.

Looking forward to hearing some of your own stuff :)

I've been doing some engineering for past year or so (but alas finding it pretty difficult to get any serious work/income from it).

I have 3 things to say, The first of which is that i wish you the best of luck for the future.

The second point is that I didn't see the last word of the topic for a split second and got quite worried about what was happening on this board...  :afro

Lastly, if you want a piece of comedic relief, please feel free to request another slaughtering - your choice (Although I can't unfortunately guarantee anything - but I'll do my best!)

Reading this makes me feel very lucky for what I have, it's a shame anyone has to deal with this...

Best of luck, if I think of any good ideas, i'll send them your way :D

Where do you live Billy? I forget. You can always send your resume my way, though my biz is in LA, but still... There are also daily job postings here for all over the country... Lemme know where you are and I'll take a look.

When the sun comes up on a sleepy little town
Down around San Antone
And the folks are risin' for another day
'round about their homes.
The people of the town are strange
And they're proud of where they came.

Billy needs to get outta that Hell hole for starters......

Good luck to ya, Billy.  We're with ya, Bud!

I live in a town called Alvin, which is right outside Houston,TX.


1) Thank you very much!
2) :lol
3). Dude, if you could bust out some Ke$ha, you'll be my hero :lol


Haven't paid production job in about a decade, and most of my writing is for my own projects there days.
Yeah, that song was me & Dana's song for a while!
I did some work last year along those lines. Years ago, I actually had done some audio post-production on some...um... 'adult audio recordings', and that was a GREAT source of income for a while, and actually made a bit of cash when I was out of work 2 years ago, although my 'client' is having financial difficulties of her own right now so that's out for now.


Thanks FotM.  I hope one day I'm not only able to take care of myself and my family, but also be able to help out the less fortunate. That's been a goal of mine since childhood...to get filthy rich but still live an 'average' life and use my wealth to make the world a better place rather than live lavishly.

Mikie...no joke. Actually, if we could afford to, we'd get the hell out of Texas in a heartbeat.

For some reason I thought you lived in San Antonio, Billy.  I mighta been thinking about that woman who use to be an Admin on the Cabinessence board quite awhile back.

Gina? I remember her!

Oh, I've been to San Antonio before...did not like it at all.

sorry about this billy. best of luck to you. hope it comes soon.

Thanks Steve..greatly appreciated

Well if that's how it's been, perhaps it's a blessing in disguise that you lost the job.  Now you can focus on finding a career you'd enjoy.  Glass.  Half.  Full!!!

Oh no, this was a new job that I started back in August. See, I had been working for a certain satellite provider since 25 June 2007. I worked my way up to management, and was making almost 40k/year. I started having what was initially thought to be seizures, and then while I work I ended up collapsing and being rushed to hospital.  Found out I had a minor stroke, and those seizures were actually TIAs. When I was released from the hospital, I returned to work because I was told I was missing too much work. I worked for two days, and then I started having TIAs again and was sent home. The next day, I came up to apply for FMLA. When I left the building with my paperwork, I went home. Sometime that day, they processed my termination but I was not informed. The next day, I ended up back at the hospital. While I was getting an EEG done, I got a phone call from work. I'm not going to go into what happened on the call as I have a lawsuit pending, but I was asked about something I had been told to do previously. The next day, Friday 25 March 2011, I was fired via telephone for an alleged policy violation.  Only problem was, when I got my paycheck in the mail a week later, I saw that I had already been fired before I had supposedly did what I did. An investigation by the EEOC proved my case. Again, as I have a federal lawsuit pending, I cannot go into further detail, and it's off the subject anyway. So, I was out of work. and ended up being so for 4 months, before I ended up working at an Olive Garden. I went from 40k/year to $9/hr part time. It took me a year to find a better paying job, which was the one I was just laid off from. I was making decent money, and I actually REALLY loved my job.  Problem was, the 4 months of unemployment coupled with the OG job barely covering gas, really messed us up. Bills started piling up, stuff started getting shut off, and automatic billing for stuff we signed up for while I had money kept going through (being locked into contracts SUCKS). This last job, I was making decent money, but all that time living off of overdraft killed us. I had taken out some loans previously, as well. The last month I was there, the hours became inconsistent, but I figured it was because of the Christmas season-I worked for a marketing company and was assigned to the Motorola division, and I basically trained sales associates at stores like Best Buy on Motorola phones & bluetooth headsets. Many of these stores cut down on their vendor allotment time during the end of Q4. If I'd had a few more months of a regular schedule, I could have caught up. Happened at the worst possible time. That's the thing.

There are ways of making a few bucks online, I mean its small stuff but even a bit of extra cash might help. Do you know of fiverr.com? Doing music stuff or article writing or whatever...if you can hit on a good original/quirky gig then those $5 will really add up. People will pay decent money on other websites if you can write articles on specialist topics too...anyway just a thought. Best of luck!

best of luck with the lawsuit billy. been thru 2 of them myself. they do take a long time don't they? last one was against the insurance company for the house fire. took 3 years but we finally won. hope you have a successful outcome. hang in there!

Thanks Steve... gotta keep my fingers crossed, toes crossed, hell I'd cross anything that bends right now :lol

MBW...thanks for the info! I'll check it out

Hope things pick up for you Billy, you're a great guy who is devoted to his family and I'm glad to count you as a friend regardless of the fact that we've never met in person, I'm sure something will happen for you dude.

Thank you Paulos & RRover. I'm doing much better now. I just got approved for unemployment, and my wife got a part-time job, so right now I'm going to concentrate on my audition for the Voice. If I don't make it to the next round, then I'm going to resume my search afterwards.

Billy, you should do something totally off the wall for your audition, like Still I Dream of It, or I'll Bet He's Nice. Or Drip Drop.  :lol

Billy, sorry to hear of your plight, but have you thought of applying to wireless/cellular phone stores? Your job training people on Motorola might be a good thing for an application for a sales job at such a store. Or even apply to an Apple store in Houston? 

Good luck with your job search and with your audition for The Voice.

Good luck on the tryout Billy!

Splendid news! Hope this is the start of the up and up, Billy. See you on The Voice  ;D

Good Luck Billy! :)

I'm a little late in seeing this thread but good luck Billy!! I can tell you're one of the good guys.

Billy, I do not know you, but check out the oil industry in North Dakota.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EDKR6zT9mo

They are hiring like crazy.

Lycka till!