The Smiley Smile Message Board

....that just happen not to be true  :wink

1) Despite his rampant ecological views and championing of the Californian landscape in speech, lifestyle and song, Al Jardine thinks vegetarians are 'cissies' and had been known to go steak for steak against Brian in local restaurants during the 'Brian's Back' campaign.

2) Whilst it is commonly known that Dennis was the most favoured amongst the groups female following, Bruce also had rather a lot of 'Fun Fun Fun' on tour, with longserving members of the bands roadcrew and team affectionately referring to him as 'Bruce Dongston' to this day.

3) Brian Wilson was 3rd in line at the Downtown LA Apple store to get his iPad at midnight, April 30th, 2010. He bought two - The other being for Darian, who Brian had called during a weaker moment in the lengthy queue to get him a cheeseburger.

4) Years of transcendental meditation have not managed to give Mike Love the gift of levitation, which should be no surprise. However, he has picked up other skills through the practice, such as a mastery of the Euphonium, the ability to recite 'Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom' in it's entirety (including score, start and end credits, and all foreign languages with perfect diction), and a Houdini-esque skill to take any punch to the face and remain standing and unscathed.

5) Carl might not have been the most svelte Beach Boy, but his prowess at arm-wrestling was so sublime that Capitol Records issued an internal memo in 1964 stating that no member of the touring group was to challenge him from three weeks before the start of any tour or television appearance, lest the physical and emotional damage render them unable to perform for the crowds.

Got any more?

If this was Facebook, there'd be a "Like" button!

6) Mike Love isn't actually bald - he's just been shaving his head at the first sight of hair since he was 18. He then donates said hair to UNICEF.

7) Al Jardine, on the other hand, just takes his hair and secretly grinds it into Brian's steaks. His hair happens to taste just like garlic salt, so Brian doesn't notice.

8) They say the nose on the Great Sphinx of Giza was broken, when in reality, the sphinx's nose was just attached to Eugene Landy's face the whole time.

9) Turkey overpopulation in California was singlehandedly stabilized every Thanksgiving by one Carl Wilson.

10) Murry Wilson wasn't entirely honest on Audrey; he secretly had in affair on her with a monkey somewhere in 1942. The result was Al Jardine.

11) Just happened today! Mike Love crashes Brians 68th birthday party with a gift, card and flowers. All going well until Mike pulls out a contract committing Brian to 150 concerts with his Beach Boys in 2011 to celebrate 50 years. Melinda answers for Brian and Mike now singing Falsetto for the rest of 2010.

12) Brian Wilson, as we know, is a man of simple tastes when it comes to cinema. As part of an effort on the tourbus to open Brian's mind to finer things which he would otherwise not expose himself to, Darian, Scott and Probyn have taken to swapping the sleeves of classic dvds with other, more lowbrow efforts. Hence, when asked to elaborate on his famous quote that his favourite film was Norbit, Brian stated that he 'loved the bit where Clint Eastwood nearly hung 'The Ugly' at the end but then shot the rope at the last second'. He also went to claim that his second favourite was Herbie: Fully Loaded, because he 'adores Marlon Brando'.

13) Probyn Gregory's best friend is actually called Gregory. The pair have not noticed the apparent innuendo, much to Jeff Foskett's embarrassment during rehearsals for Brian's first tour.

14) Various musical institutions are currently performing research on Murry Wilson's sperm samples in order to figure out what part of them produced the three most beautiful voices in history.

15) Give Mike Love a wire hanger, and he'll strangle a prostitute. Give Al Jardine a wire hanger, and he'll gently poke a prostitute and giggle.

16) Three out of four Beach Boys fans would like to see Mike Love wearing a Turban again. (May be true!)

17) Unsold copies of GIOMH are being shipped to the Gulf of Mexico by BP as we speak.

18) Mikes Hall of Fame speach written by George Bush before he stopped drinking.

19) Al and Mikes album's to be released (insert year here).

MARK PRINDLE!!!!!111

Wouldn't it be nice if, when this thread runs it's course, I'll remove the 'that may not be true' bit from the first post and leave as a secret treasure trove of 'facts' for future generations  ;D

20) Beach Boys fans have wondered over the years just why Bruce Johnston has stuck with Mike Love in the touring incarnation of the group, despite continually singing the praises of Brian's more outre work. When posed this question in 2007, Johnston became subdued, his brow furrowed, and his eyes glazed over. The only words he spoke for the three subsequent minutes was 'the hats'. A similar effect has been noted in Nancy Reagan. According to The Lancet, the only way to snap a person out of this trance is present large quantities of money in plain sight of the patient.

21. Armed robberies in the UK are commonly carried out by gangs wearing smiling Bruce Johnston masks.

22. Mike Love's surname is actually very, very appropriate for the man.

23. Al Jardine, in an attempt to outdo Brian's Radiant Radish store, opened up the Ecological Cucumber in which he frequently served customers wearing only his underpants and with a billiard ball strapped to his mouth.

24. As a punishment, Murray Wilson used to make the boys stare into his empty elbow socket.

25. A posse of surf nazis forced Al Jardine at gunpoint to rewrite 'Lady Linda' as the gospel-tinged 'Lordy, Landy!'.

26. Mike Love was arrested around 1966 in a drug store where he'd been pouring the contents of a bottle of hair restorer over his genitals and becoming sexually aroused in front of other customers. He was charged but the judge let him off lightly, with a suspended sentence and a warning never again to "foda with the formula".

27. Mike Love was arrested around 1967 in a Middle Eastern country (which will remain nameless, in the interests of national security) where he'd been caught in a compromising position with a group of gay clerics. He was charged but the judge let him off lightly, with a suspended sentence and a warning never again to "foda with the four mullahs".

Outstanding work, gentlemen.

28) A short and incomplete list of people Al Jardine has, or had, a unique secret handshake with : Bill Clinton, Lou Reed, David Marks, Nelson Mandela, Cristiano Ronaldo, Saddam Hussein, Kanye West, Ringo Starr, and the entire front bench of the Lib-Con Coalition.

[/b]

no. 27 is pure brilliance!

29) According to a recent press release, Al Jardine can raise the dead  ;D

30 Dennis's codename for when a comely young fan got down on her knees for him was a "Bruce Johnston".

31 Mike has that rare upside face syndrome that Jake Tucker in Family Guy suffers from, making him not actually bald - that beard's really his head hair.

32) Technicians have discovered a direct link between ss.net connection issues, solar storms on the sun, volcanic ash over Europe and Mike Love
       removing his hat outdoors.

33) AGD has hinted there are 102 things we don't know about the Beach Boys. However he won't say what No 102 is, or his source.

34) Previous scenes of Brians 'hold my nose' joke show an off camera Bruce Johnston saying 'pull my finger'.

35) Due to a build up of pressure and stress caused by watching the NBA finals and the Football World Cup back to back, No 35 has been abandoned.
      Some have said it has been destroyed but parts may appear in future facts. It is hoped a complete release may be achieved in 2047.

36) In 1971, Banana sued for credit for his notable cameo at the end of Pet Sounds.  The case was thrown out of court on account of the fact that Banana is, after all, a dog. 
Louie had also filed suit, but successfully settled out of court for an undisclosed amount of squeak toys and belly rubs.

37) Brian and Melinda keep on adopting dogs mostly because Melinda keeps eating them.

38) As for the adopted children, Melinda does that because she's rearing an army that will one day storm the offices of A&M records to take back all the songs that Murry swindled out of Brian.

38. The real Brian Wilson died in 1966. He was replaced by a man named Billy Knorr (hope someone gets that part  :P)

39. If you play Pet Sounds backwards, you can heard an avant garde piece by Brian called "the menagerie" which includes animals like the lion, the bird, and the Murry.

40. If you play Busy Doing Nothing backwards, you get directions to Van Dyke Park's house.

41. Brian still sneaks a hit of Reddi Wip every now and then.

42. Brian Wilson is an agent for the Illuminati, and with their help he channeled satanic forces to write hits like "Fun, Fun, Fun" and "California Girls" to program the masses to reject God with tales of carnal lust and adolescent disobedience.
43. "Roller Skating Child" was an autobiographical account of a relationship Brian was having in 1977.
44. Mike Love actually liked the lyrics to "Cabinessence". When he asked Van Dyke what the line "over and over..." meant, his excitement was mistaken for anger by the overly sensitive Van Dyke. Love was so offended by this accusation that he lost enthusiasm for the SMiLE project. Mike has long been a supporter of art music, from the word images of "Big Sur" to the revolutionary Oriental pop of "Sumahama", which Mike wrote in anger at the band following the formula with songs like "Good Timin'".
45. In the late 60s, Brian and Carl had legendary hamburger eating contests at Brian's house. They would smoke hash and then eat burgers until someone threw up.
46. Dennis suffered from erectile dysfunction throughout the 70s. The only remedy that worked was a daily teaspoon of crushed deer antler that he got from a Chinatown health shore in San Francisco.

47) Brian Wilson, Syd Barret and Roky Erickson were room mates in the early 70s. The result was they all shared the same night mare
and it appeared on video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwHHgDaR72I

48) Other Mike Love albums that have been rejected by major record labels include;

• All You Need Is Love
• All's Fair In Love and War
• Let's Mike Love
• Crazy In Love
• Michel Amor (A Spanish Language album)
• Can't Help Falling In Love
• Love Hangover
• Bleeding Love (A punk rock project in the late 70's)
• Where Is The Love? (an album comprised of instrumental takes from earlier records)
• Soldier of Love (A charity album to support the troops during the Gulf War)
• Love is my Drug
• Is This Love?
• Crazy Little Thing Called Love
• Love Gun
• Love Story (A concept album with an original script written by Love himself)
• Sea Of Love (A collection of sea shanties)
• Love In This Club (Remixes)
• That's How Strong My Love Is (Comes with bonus work-out DVD)
• The Book of Love (Mike Love reads his favourite passages from The Bible)
• Words Of Love (Mike Love reads his favourite poems)
• I Believe In A Thing Called Love (Mike Love sings gospel music with slightly too much conviction)

49) Mike Love has an evil twin sister named Kim Hate, who runs an orphanage and charity in Santa Monica.

50) It's said that if you stack every Beach Boys song ever recorded on top of each other in Audacity, you can hear the voice of God...buried somewhere in a mass of incomprehensible noise.

51) Mike had to remind us that Carl Wilson died of Lung Cancer like George Harrison of the Beatles. He failed to mention his other cousin, Dennis Wilson died by drowning like George Clooney in 'A Perfect Storm'.

52) Not one negative post has ever been made here about Carrie Marks. This boards favorite spouse!

53) If you play 'Summer In Paradise' backwards, it sounds great.

54) If you never play Summer In Paradise at all, it sounds even better !

55) Weird Al was sued by Brian after he released "The Food Album"

56) The Boys are Back in Town was originally written for Brian's comeback but according to Mike, it didn't "rock as hard as the song I'm writing to commemorate said event."

57) Don't fight the Sea was originally about battling stomach problems at Red Lobster.

58) Al Jardine is actually 6' 9 and has maintained the illusion of being short by employing an elaborate system of pulleys, smoke machines and mirrors.

59) None of the pre-Wild Honey instrumental tracks of the band actually featured any instruments - Brian was just such an amazing vocalist that he perfectly simulated every single one of them. The Wrecking Crew was just a tax write-off.

60) Unreleased Beach Boys albums include Don't Stop Surfing, Surf Forever, Surfin' The Web, Surfari, Sidewalk Surfin', Butthole Surfers, and Lifehouse.

61) It is common knowledge that Dennis wrote 'You Are So Beautiful' at a party with Billy Preston, but didn't take a songwriting credit. Other such songs Dennis wrote with his buddies at parties include 'Anarchy In The UK', 'The Final Countdown', most of the 'Keepin' The Summer Alive' album, and 'Relax (Don't Do It)'. It is not known whether he refused to accept songwriting credits because he simply could not remember writing them, or because he was ashamed of them.

62) Mike Love is an outsider bet to become the next England manager if Fabio Capello resigns and whether the FA can schedule training sessions around The Beach Boys touring schedule.

63) Now that Al Jardine's finished A Postcard From California, he can finally get to work on some of the projects he had to abandon along the way, including The Winds of Winter and A Dream of Spring.

64) Al Jardine sometimes wears his white suit and sits on bus stop benches along PCH holding a box of chocolates, talking about his life and offering
       simple words of wisdom.

65) Murrys glass eye has been fitted in a dragon at the new Harry Potter Amusement Park.

66) Had Al not quit the Brian Wilson Tour to 'urgently' complete his album, both he and Brians new album would have shared the same release date.

67) Mike Love is following the tech savy advice of his good buddy Al and releasing his album in September on 8- track.

68) For a brief period in 1969, Brian Wilson ran a health food store in West Hollywood called The Radiant Radish.

69) Tom Petty recalls how, while having lunch with Brian Wilson, Brian tried to butter his head and put it between two slices of bread.

70) Mike Love once questioned Van Dyke Parks on what his lyric "columnated ruins domino" meant, and Van Dyke just said he had no idea.

71) Murry Wilson lost an eye while working in his machining job, and he would often take the glass eye out and make his sons stare into the socket.

72) One of Brian Wilson's favorite comedy movies is Norbit.

73) Brian Wilson and Al Jardine were varsity athletes in high school, and in fact, during one football game, Brian accidentally broke Al's leg.

74) In the late 60's, Dennis Wilson befriended Charles Manson and the Manson family before they went on their killing spree. Manson was a struggling songwriter at that point, so Dennis ended up taking a Manson song called "Cease To Exist", changed a lyric, and called it "Never Learn Not To Love". Needless to say, Manson was not pleased.

75) The song "You Are So Beautiful" was co-written by Dennis Wilson and Billy Preston. Dennis just never claimed any credit.

(See what I did there? Even the real Beach Boys tidbits are so out-there, it's difficult to tell them from the made-up ones.)

After about 6 minutes of noise, you'd be left with Leaving This Town (live) and Here Comes The Night (Disco Version)...that would be interesting to hear.  Add the solo stuff and you'd have Rio Grande too.

I don't think that's been verified as fact.

Billy Hinsche watched Dennis & Billy Preston work on the song together at a party. Quoted in Jon's book.

76) Former Secretary of State and Beach Boys nemesis James Watt was evicted from a Washington rest home last week. ' I don't know why' said Watt. ' I live a quiet life here with just a few visitors. In fact just the other day George W Bush and Dick Cheney called in.' When asked why Watt had been removed a spokesman for the home said 'for attracting the wrong element'. The spokesman also said Watts place has already been taken. 'The new resident as of July 4 is Wayne Newton, and his only visitors will be those good, wholesome folk of the entertainment industry.'

77) The Wilson brothers are related to Rainn Wilson (from The Office), Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart, Wilson Pickett, former British Prime Minister Harold Wilson, Mr. Wilson from Dennis the Menace, Wilson Avenue in Chicago, and of course, former President Ronald Wilson Reagan. 

They are NOT, however, related to Wilson from Home Improvement, despite what the show would have you believe.

78) Mike Love is related to Courtney Love, Darlene Love, Get Christy Love, the novel Love Story (but not the film), the band Love, and the doomed Love Canal development in upstate New York. 

79) Speaking of Chicago...Al "Genuine Mexican Parts" Jardine runs a Mexican eatery called Al Jardine Mexican Cafe, located at 3335 North Clark Street in Chicago.

80) The "in the cantina" section of Heroes And Villains was originally written by Jimmy Buffet. 10 years later, he reworked it and released it as "Margaritaville".

81) Van Dyke Parks can do this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCVeY09rM8g

82) To add to his toubles, Brian suffers from a bad back.


      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAWVbj0YUyE

83. Hey Little Cobra, Little GTO, My World Fell Down, The Rain The Park and Other Things, and Beach Baby were all recorded by the actual Beach Boys, but released under Pseudomyms.

84. Mike Love has recorded with Brian recently and will appear as a "special guest" on three tracks on the upcoming release, Brian Wilson Reiterates Gershwin.

85) The Beach Boys are reuniting for a free concert next year. (oh...sorry. I thought the thread was 'Things Brian didn't know about the Beach Boys'.)

86) Brian is a fan of Thai cuisine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S89dRcc4DwI&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S89dRcc4DwI&feature=related)

87)"Carl like to sleep during the day," Love laughs. "I mean really sleep. He was a night owl and would stay up late, then literally duct tape black curtains shut in his room so he could sleep all day."

http://www.theday.com/article/20100803/ENT10/308039972/1044/ent

That's F&cking horrible.

88. Brian was paid in steaks for this appearance  :-D

89.


 ;D

90. In a bid to keep up with 'Brian Wilson Reimagines Gershwin', and Mike Love's reported covers project with current pop royalty, Al Jardine has jumped into the fray with 'Al Jardine Reimagines Al Jardine', where he will cover every single Beach Boys song he has wrote or sang lead on. In an interview with Rolling Stone, the ex-Beach Boy said that an early version of the album, with the working title 'Postcard From California', had been leaked, but told fans to expect finished product 'soon'.

A testimonial is not enough. I wanna see him write a song about it!  :lol

In order to keep up with Al Jardine, Bruce Johnston will release Bruce Johnston Reimagines Bruce Johnston, which will just be Disney Girls slowed down and stretched out to the point where it takes up an entire album. Every line will have several words added to it, and he will manage to find extra syllables in every word of the song.

In order to keep up with that dashing gentlemen, Bruce Johnston, David Marks will record and release David Marks Reimagines the Reimagining of Bruce Johnston, which will consist of the drum intro to Tears in the Morning, played over and over again for 68 minutes.

92. Reports about Melinda Wilson being a hive of bees floating around an enchanted pig skull remain unconfirmed.

Also, I forgot to mention that as a response to the numerous guest stars on Al's album, Bruce's album will feature the surviving members of Led Zeppelin. When asked about the choice of Led Zeppelin, Bruce replied "Those guys stretched Dazed And Confused out to 45 minutes all the time, they're perfect for the task of stretching out Disney Girls!". It has also been rumored that Bruce will follow up Bruce Johnston Reimagines Bruce Johnston with Going Pubic, a reworking of his 1977 album Going Public as the soundtrack to a porno film.

94) Carolyne Williams was left handed! ;D

95)  The rare first pressing of Good Vibrations accidentally put Mike's real name in the writing credits.

(http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/bcbsessions/GV.jpg)

96) The initials for "Love to Say Da-da" secretly stand for "Lizards with Salmon Donuts". Obviously a reference to New Orleans, it's plentiful reptiles and strange love for seafood and donuts. (Anybody care for a blueberry crab fritter?)

97) Brian really WAS pregnant when Mike made that announcement in London (1968/12/08). Or maybe he was just feeling rather gassy.

98) If you stare very closely at the MIU album cover with your eyes closed you might be able to see the back of your eye lids. It works for both the lp cover and the cd slip case for some reason.

99) Here's a very little known one: No matter how many members of the Beach Boys there are together in the same room at one time, over half of them will in fact make up the majority.

100) On the original mono mix of "Here Today" you can barely make out some talking during the instrumental break. It's actually the voice of Al Jardine telling listeners to worship some guy named Stan (probably a typo).

I'll save the magic  #101 for somebody else.

hypehat....You started this thing so you might as well finish it. :)

101)...

oh blimey. I thought 101 was some unattainable goal when I started this thing off!  :lol

Obviously we can all continue as far as the collective sense of humour allows....

101) Contrary to what he tells, Brian Wilson isn't deaf in his right ear - he's actually deaf in both of them. His entire career has been a remarkable case of luck, villainy, expert lipreading, and gullible collaborators. Many of the more outre instruments and musical avenues The Beach Boys explored throughout their career are because he has no idea what a banjo, moog bass, or theremin (for example), sound like.

102) Mike Love doesn't really meditate. It's just a cover-up for his narcolepsy.

103) Al Jardine is really a man-eating weasel.

104) Murry wasn't really Carl's father. David's dad actually was.

[attachment deleted by admin]

105) The 'Smile' sessions were mentioned in The Bible, somewhere near the back.

106) In spite of his mild-mannered demeanor, Al Jardine actually has more Mob ties than Frank Sinatra.

Then it won't surprise me the least if I see Al Jardine looking over my shoulder while I'm dealing craps to make sure I'm not giving out too much money!  :smokin

107. The Brian Wilson of today is not the real Brian Douglas Wilson. It is Eugene Landy.

It was thus: around 1990, film director John Woo was planning a new action movie with an unique plot: 'Face/Off'. About a policeman and a villain. The detective had to infiltrate the organization of the villain; and so with new facial surgery, the cop got the villain's face, and vice versa. Woo wanted to make sure that his script could happen in reality, so he did a worldwide search for a couple of men on whom he could let a doctor practise.

And lo and behold: he got hold of a pre-publication of the BW 'autobiography', 'Wouldn't It Be Nice'. He'd found the men he was looking for. Their story was so unbelievable that these were the only persons in whom the world wouldn't notice weird changes any more.

So Brian and Eugene were drugged, and kidnapped, abducted to Tokyo. In Woo's secret clinic, the trick was done, to perfection. The new Brian (Landy) was so cunning that fans did not notice minor changes in posture and speech. Landy had become what he always wanted to be: a pop star.

From that point onwards, the song 'Heroes And Villains' had gained an entirely new meaning.

Meanwhile, the natural death of the real Brian, with Landy's face, was faked, of course. Brian himself now leads a life of sumptuous luxury on Hawaii; he has a fantastic mansion, and he has become sort of an anonymous Hugh Hefner. The story goes that he plays Wishbone Ash' Greatest Hits on continuous rotation in a jukebox.

So, to those who will see 'Brian Wilson Reimagines Gershwin' in London next year: be aware for whom you shell out your hard-earned dosh.

Be very aware.

108) Dennis Wilson is alive, well and living on a private island with Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson. Initially Elvis complained that Dennis stole all the chicks, but they've learned to share. They're recording a hip hop album and intend to release it in 2011 under a pseudonym.

109) In January, 1972, Carl, Dennis and Bruce recorded background vocals for the song "Blowin' Free" by Wishbone Ash although their contributions were mixed very low to the point that in 2010 Wishbone Ash historians are constantly debating which parts are theirs.

(http://i808.photobucket.com/albums/zz8/madnezz1/Vinyl%20Collection/argus.jpg)(http://i339.photobucket.com/albums/n479/bfreeoutlet/beachboysalbum.jpg)

110) The walrus was Al.

111) The Chile miners are really 33 fired Beach Boys Band members.

112) Mike Love isn't afraid of ghosts. However, he is afraid of guns, ELO, heights, buttons, and male pattern baldness. Luckily, his day to day existence involves little or none of these.

113) No...I don't like worms!

114) In an alternate dimension, somewhere very, very far away, SMiLE was finished in its intended form in 1966. Unfortunately, it was so brilliant, that anyone listening to it besides Brian himself would literally suffer a mind overload, collapsing dead that instant. And thus, Brian Wilson, at the top of his songwriting form, now wanders the barren Earth, stripped of life.

115) Brian Wilson was and still is an avid surfer.

115. ...and in yet another dimension, a parallel universe, SMiLE got finished in 1967. It was so brilliant that indeed listeners other than Brian collapsed dead. But the President of the United States over there, George Bush III, heard about it in time, and sent a Special Elite SWAT Team to Western & Gold Star, to confiscate the master tapes. He then instructed Capitol to press 1 million units at Fort Knox. After that, he used these as WMDs, by letting heli's fly over Iran, Iraq, Saudi-Arabia, Russia, China, India, and Indonesia, and also Lybia, playing the darned record at a couple thousand decibels.

So, over on that planet, the whole world is America.

116. And yet, in even ANOTHER dimension, Landy traveled back in time to 1967, taking over Brian's life through a futuristic mind chip that he harvested from the grave of Dennis Wilson. (As an unintended effect, Brian gained a sex drive comparable to three hundred monkeys locked in a cage.) Their version of SMiLE contained such hits as a non synth version of "Rock and Roll Music", "She's Got Rhythm" sung in Brian's original voice, a mix of Vega-Tables that included aspects of both masters AND "Metal Beach", then entirety of "Love You" as the bonus humor disk, interspersed with all of the joke sessions Brian did PLUS Smog, and, perhaps the oddest song of all, a version of "Heroes and Villians" using only a spoon, a glass, and a Moog synthesizer brought by Landy.

As soon as the first needle pressed down to the first copy of the record, the entire universe exploded, wiping out perhaps the best record ever conceived. It is said that the US government, having traveled to the dimension beforehand though an experimental Area 51 prototype, managed to secure a copy of the record and the recorded tapes.

It is locked right under the Ark of the Covenant. Right next to the supposed Wishbone Ash record that would've brought the Lost Chord into existence, bringing an eternity of peace on Earth.

EDIT: The record was released with a 30 minute single version of "Ding Dang". Unfortunately, the sheer power of the song literally melted all the vinyl that it tried to be pressed to. The only person to ever listen to  the completed form, save for Brian, was found in his chair, his skull literally melted into the floor.

117. In yet another alternate dimension, not only did Brian release SMilE, but Syd Barrett didn't suffer a mental breakdown. in this universe, the human race was strong enough to not die upon hearing SMiLE, but it did cause very heated debates, but it's impact was minuscule compared to what happened next. Syd Barrett and Brian Wilson decided to collaborate on an album. The resulting album was so experimental and so ahead of it's time that upon hearing one second of it, Mike Love spontaneously grew 5 feet of hair, which immediately fell off as he dropped dead on the floor. the world erupted into chaos over whether or not the album the album was the most ingenious thing ever, or if it was just a piece of avant-garde sh*t, and even caused the Cold War to erupt into a full scale nuclear war. The chaos caused the entire Wrecking Crew to commit mass suicide, due to the guilt they felt for being involved with an album that caused this much destruction. Paul McCartney went insane with the knowledge that he could never top this album, and just when people thought things couldn't get any worse, they got far worse than anyone could possibly imagine. Brian and Syd announced that their next album would be a collaboration with Wishbone Ash. The resulting album was so powerful, that it caused the destruction of the entire dimension. 

118) In an alternate universe, the world of the Beach Boys is very much alike to our own, besides the fact that 'John Stamos Reimagines Gershwin' has recently hit no# 1 in the States.

(You guys skipped a number)

120) In another alternate universe, Bob Saget becomes the Beach Boys's new drummer instead of John Stamos. The dirty jokes he delivers between songs are the stuff of legend, and the show is worth going to solely for that.

121) Al Jardine fell into the microphone.

(http://i158.photobucket.com/albums/t104/jeep5253/Mayfest%20Concert%20May%2010%202008/BeachBoys043.jpg)

.

119) We all knew it so it was pulled!

122) There is a version of Chapel of Love recorded in 1962, featuring the best vocal performance of Brian's career, outclassing Don't Worry Baby, Let Him Run Wild, Til I Die, and Surf's Up by a magnitude of several hundred. Unfortunately, the day after this song was recorded, Phil Spector knocked Brian out in a prolonged fist fight, involving several cross-building chases, stealing the song for his own use. Brian, due to the head injuries, forgot all about the past few days, thus temporarily losing his know-how with his falsetto. It lost a bit of its sweetness, too, but that was brushed off considering the power of his voice anyway. The rest of the band pretended it never happened, thus, the master tapes were sealed within the deepest vaults of Fort Knox, never to be released for fear of the public reaction, and, to a large part, the reaction from Brian.

123. Brian Wilson's real name is Barry Soetoro. He was born in Indonesia. He is an illegitimate son of Malcolm X. In puberty, he got severe onset of vitiligo, an affliction which made his skin pale all over. That effectively ended his urge to spread islam all over the world, and to convert the U.S. into a communist country.

Soetoro went to Jamaica in 1960, and visited young reggae upstart Lee Perry. Perry showed him his tiny recording shack, the Black Ark, and taught him how to make complex mono productions on a Teac 4-track and an Echoplex reverb machine. Also, he taught Soetoro how to roll the largest spliffs known to mankind.

In those days, Soetoro was a real sports phenomenon. He said goodbye to Perry. He swam all the way to Florida, and hiked to California. There, he met a young Dennis Wilson. Dennis said: I need a friggin' messenger. I am good in surfing, but I can't play a note. Soetoro saw his chance and seized it. Dennis introduced Soetoro to his dad, a real gent named Murry. Murry smelled fame and money, and took Soetoro under his wings. He handled all legal stuff, and christened our Barry: Brian.

Thus, history was made.

PS: Lee Perry felt Brian's later career to be such a defeat for himself, that he set his own studio on fire, in 1976.

124. Billy Hinsche once told Carl Wilson the familar joke, 'A man walks into a bar..... ouch' joke during a soundcheck in 1976. Carl found this joke so funny he proceeded to laugh constantly throughout not only the rest of the soundcheck, but during the show as well, crying tears of laughter onstage, pausing twice to throw up offstage, flubbing guitar lines, laughing his way through vocal parts and interrupting songs to tell it to the audience repeatedly over the course of a 2h30m show.

A tape of the show is reportedly floating around, in which you can clearly hear Brian say into the mic 'Fucking hell Carl, it's not that funny' during 'Surfer Girl'.

What concert is this from, Hyperhat?  I gotta hear it.  Carl musta had something to drink and/or smoke.......

125. The Wilson boys are secretly hyper intelligent vegetables, grown by the government under a test to see how smart they could make food products. Murry Wilson, a former government agent, stole the growing vegetables after he learned that he was infertile with Audrey. There, he raised them as his own, committing a series of gristly experiments to graft skin and limb to the children. They were raised, with no idea as to who they truly were, with Mike and Al, growing up like normal children. Eventually though, on the eve of each of their 18th birthdays, he told them all the truth. All of them swore to keep it a secret for as long as they live, forming a rock band, living like normal Southern Californians. Brian couldn't hold it in, however, eventually snapping, and encoding a song, with Van Dyke Parks, about the secret. "I'm gonna be 'round my vegetables" - He was always around his brothers, whether it be touring early on, or studio work later. "I'm gonna chow down my vegetables" - Referring to his revulsion of eating his own kind. "I, love you most of all, my favorite vegetable." - Of course, he would love his brothers the most of all, they were his binding force to the group. The rest of the song is filled with the sort - "I'm red as a BEET cause I'm so embarrassed." - Embarrassed about his secret, of course.

After the song was written, Brian couldn't help himself any longer. He suffered a mental breakdown, spiraling on a downward slope for the next two decades. Only a few people know the truth. Mike found out after Dennis died, paying the coroner to keep it a secret. Landy knew, which is why he was so controlling over Brian, he knew that Brian couldn't see anyone else for fear of discovery. Melinda knows now, although Marylin always suspected something, and so does Brian's recent psychiatrist.

126. Al Jardine is really a bunch of sardines disguising themselves as a man.

127. Mike Love is a really a horse, in a man costume.

128. John Stamos is a philosopher. In spare time, he teaches Kant and Heidegger at Harvard. Students love him, because halfway during long and boring sections, he spontaneously bursts out in a thrilling rendition of Kokomo. Students catch on.

Top guy.

I've had my suspicions all along...

Brian Wilson dislikes the taste of shortening bread.

130. Dennis Wilson was actually one of the greatest drummers ever, able to out bash greats like Keith Moon when he was feeling up to it. Unfortunately, Murry had demoralized him so much during his short tenure with the band, that he never found the will to drum anything more than basic beats.