The Smiley Smile Message Board

That's right, what would you do if you got to actually be Brian Wilson for one day? As part of the scenario, Brian won't remember that someone else had control of his body for a day, but he also won't know what 'he' did that day. I think I'd go find Mike Love in a black helicopter and offer him some cake as a truce.

"Hey Diane, this is Brian. Like to come over?"

Really, this stuff is kind of creepy, don't you think? Imagine being a 66-year-old and people discussing on a message board what they would like to do if they were going to achieve (in some mysterious way) control over your body and mind for one day. But never mind, should be fun nonetheless.

I don't know. If I was Brian Wilson I'd be too rich to care.

I would sign that record contract to release a 5-CD Smile Sessions, then I would head to the Archives with a picnic and a DAT recorder and camp out for the day.

I'd call Mike, Al, Bruce and David to meet me at Al's barn studio. There, with Mike, I'd finish a couple of songs that I've had in my head for awhile. Then I'd ask Mike, Al, Bruce, and David to "give me" their best song that they got. At the end of the day, I'd finish up with a couple of covers/oldies. Finally, I'd UPS the day's work (a demo of all the songs worked on) to Capitol Records as the next proposed Beach Boys' album.

Of course, this would take the full 24 hours! :police:

I would confront those voices in my head. I would say: 'Hey, suckers, listen: your sound is pretty nifty but I don't like your tone. There's but one way for you: to form a band with me and harmonize. And make records. Since I smoked away my own voice, you do the high parts. We'll go to Western and Gold Star and record. We'll be the Boys of the Beach, period.'

And what an unforgettable day it would most definitely be for all parties involved.  :3d

I'd sit in my room hoping today wasn't going to be a hallucinations-day.

Take viagra. Cheat on Melinda.

:lol

Gives me an idea for a song lyric now...

Pay his band in four fold for what they've done for him.

I think that is the basis of about 98% of the song ideas I've ever had.

Kill myself.

I would actually play the keyboard and sing whichever parts struck my fancy at that night's performance.  Really blow some minds.  And I 'd kick over the teleprompter and sing the songs as best as I could recall.  And all night, I'd speak freely to the audience, saying  whatever popped into my head.
Just really piss off the wife and handlers.  And then I'd take an electric bass and stride over to Jeffrey, hang it around his neck and invite the audience to watch the fat boy play the bass.   Finally, I'd grab Taylor Mills, sweep her off her feet, kiss her passionately, drop her abruptly, and bow to the audience while announcing; Hold your applause,  I'm not a genius, I'm just a hard working guy

I'd ask admin to redirect these 'what if' style threads about Brian to the Blueboard where they belong. ::)

 :lol  :lol :lol

This thread IS a little creepy, but in the name of vicarious wish-fulfillment, I'll add to the above
sentiment.

I'd do whatever I could (a LOT, I'm sure, maybe enough to actualize it), above and
beyond signing a contract, to facilitate the realization of the final missing piece of my legacy, and
be the decisive factor in making the best possible production of a Smile Sessions set, with all ex-
tant fragments of the music, no matter what dusty and unknown location they reside in, included
(asking with all the pull of my reputation and loyalty I command that every effort be made to lay
hands on and contribute ((for a price of course, if necessary))whatever they have by all relevant parties). I'm sure some major nuggets would emerge from some woodwork or other. (Durry Parks acetates, etc).

Thus laying to as final a rest as is possible the last and most major piece of unfinished business
still hovering over my (Brian's) life's work

Say Amen, somebody! ;D

I second that emotion.

There's people on this board that have spent a significant amount of their lives "researching" Brian Wilson's entire life, and yet a fanciful offhand topic about what you would do if you were Brian Wilson is what pushes your 'creep' buttons? Weird people, I tells ya...

:lol awesome

I'd spend the morning compiling a list of names and then pay those people a visit....


....and punch them right square in the face.

I'm not gonna name any names, I think everyone can figure that out!

I would leave Melinda and beg Marilyn to take me back. (very creepy)  Or I would call up Billy Corgan to collaborate with me on our next album. Or maybe I would buy the movie 'Beautiful Mind' and make a note to watch it tommorow.

After all that, you could pull a syringe from your pocket and scream from the top of your lungs "I'M BACK IN BUSINESS, Gosh Darn. ENOUGH WITH THIS SISSY MUSIC, LET'S PLAY SOME GOOD STUFF!" Then you'd abruptly take the bass away from the fatboy, killing him in the process if possible, and start a rendition of 'Back Home', Largo 1977 style.

After which he could do a cover of "All I Want to Do".

First thing I'd do is call up Alan Boyd and David Leaf and go through the tape inventory, having an engineer pull tapes I want to listen to, especially any Smile stuff not yet leaked or on multitrack. 

Then I'd go visit Wendy and give her a fatherly affectionate squeeze on her butt (OK, creepy I know).  But she's hot.

I'd authorize new projects like a Smile box, a new Stack of Tracks CD, a four disc Beach Boys live set covering the entire history of the group, a 2 CD Beach Boys Rarities set and tell my people to do whatever it takes to get a Best of Dennis Wilson set out with a selection of Beach Boys tracks and rarities with his 71 solo tracks.

I would go through my archives and send original sheet music, contracts, memorabilia, and musical instruments to my home address in New Orleans.

I would have a steak dinner with Van Dyke and talk about the old days, especially Smile, the lyric confrontation with Mike, his leaving (and coming back), the SMile timeline, Heroes and Villains in it's various incarnations, and The Elements.

Best post ever  ;D

Hey, I'm not weird, I'm just a hard-working guy!

Sorry Dada, no offense intended. I guess it is a little hypocritical to be so interested in his work and then make a distinction between that and putting oneself in his place. There is a fine line between respect for, fascination with, and interest in his work, and life, on one hand, and unhealthy obsession
on the other, which is hard to define.

If this board had treated the thread in a lightweight, gushing way, then it would have fit better
on the Blueboard, but I think we basically did justice to it. :)

Yeah, I just like to give people a hard time. Doesn't always go over as clearly on the internet (and yes, it has to be the internet's fault, not mine!).

To respond to the topic at hand, i would

1. get my phone book
2. Search up Tony Asher, tell him to come over
3. Then call up Andy Paley, and likewise
4. ditto Van Dyke.
5. send Melinda to the shops when they get there and lock the door behind her when she leaves
6. Order pizza (with extra vega-tables)
7. Prank call Mike Love
8. gather round the piano and play whatever feels i have to them, ask them to get on it
9. record results
10. eat ice cream and get some rest.

Kick those damn furballs out into the street.

:D

Would be a pretty crowded street. Doesn't he have like 2 dozen dogs?!

17 last I heard.

That's f*cking ridiculous.

Or maybe i just feel that way cause I hate dogs...

Nah, that's still too many.

Yeah that's insane...I wouldn't even want to own 17 cats, and I love cats.  Too much of any animal is a nightmare.

17?

i don't think most people would be able to remember them all by name.  ???

For those wondering why so many, Mrs. W. explained in an interview (I paraphrase slightly) "well, the girls and I go shopping and, when we go past the pet store they fall in love with a puppy, so what can you do ?"

Well... how about saying "no" ?

I gather there's a big sort of pen in the back yard. I'm also told that with the exception of the sole dog-sized one, Brian hates them all.

Assuming I would gain all of Brian's memories, I wouldn't DO much of anything.  I'd simply write down memories i was interested and then mail them to myself.  I would finally know the exact model of guitar-like instrument that plays the WIBN intro top-line, know what exactly was going on with the Howard Roberts situation on LHRW, know the personnel on some non-circulating-AFM-sheet sessions, and what mics were used on the various instruments on various sessions.  Hopefully I, as Brian, would remember some of all that with a little prompting.

If I was Brian I'd add "Cool, Cool, Water," "I'll Bet He's Nice," "The Night Was So Young" and "Rio Grande" to the setlist and stop playing "Barbara Ann." Also I'd call Carnie and Wendy and tell them I love them.

I honestly think if Brian wanted to play piano during the shows he would, I remember footage of the band playing "Wouldn't it Be Nice" and on the tag Brian just bangs the piano with his wrists, awful noise...and nobody moves a muscle!