The Smiley Smile Message Board

Personally, I haven't met a conspiracy theory that's convinced me, but I'm sure other have. I promise to be completely impartial and to not call you crazy or anything along those lines; I'm just genuinely curious if anyone here has found one they're particularly taken with.

This thread was spurred on by a text message from my friend this morning. I will transcribe its contents here: "Today is my first day off in like 2 weeks, and it started with a visit to an open dialog I've kept with my chiropractor's secretary about how she believes chemtrails are making everyone sick and babies anorexic. 100% serious. [I asked him how this open dialog started] I came in cause I was sick, and she was congested, and she started off with an "oh, don't get old." Y'know, cuz she's a weathered old bag even though she's like mid 40's tops. I just kinda fake laughed, and then she just jumped right on into how her generation was the last good one before the government started weather seeding the clouds with chemicals, and that she's read about how the chemicals make their generation sick more often because they grew up with cleaner air, and it's making babies anorexic because the chemicals give them super-early onset of acid reflux, so they can't keep any food down. And I just kinda sat there nodding, trying to get back to the magazine I really wanted to read... Then she ate a mini souffle for breakfast, and at that point I was called back.

She's on the chemtrail train. Whattabout you?

None that I can think of. They drive me nuts, frankly. Obama is going to organize the military to take our guns, Cheney perpetrated 9/11, the moon landing didn't happen, the world really is flat, the Romans cynically invented Christianity and hired Josephus to write the entire New Testament, anti-vaccers, chemtrails, Roswell aliens, someone has already invented [cure for cancer, pollution-free car, or whatever] but [government / big business] won't let them release it...

Probably the most reasonable one I can think of is that Oswald didn't act entirely alone in the assassination of JFK. But even that, I have no strong feelings on the subject.

Conspiracy theories are interesting, though. It's like some odd combination of people not wanting to admit that sometimes bad sh*t happens and there's nothing you can do about it, and to shift responsibility or blame to the ever-popular "them." All jumbled up with good storytelling, of course.

I've long had a fascination with conspiracy theories and much of what I read in "the Blue Planet Project" ended up inspiring a novel I'm working on in my spare time. I don't believe any of them, however.

I agree with all of this.  I'm in the same boat as you regarding the JFK assassination as well.  I've done some cursory research, but I'm not sure it would matter at this point if Oswald didn't act alone. 

This one is particularly interesting in that it seems to be quite popular nowadays.

I think the fact that people can pretty easily make what would seem to a casual (and maybe not too bright) viewer to be legitimate documentaries and post them on youtube is part of the issue. Between that and self-publishing of ebooks in particular, the barrier for entry is very low. Now this is great in some instances, as the gatekeepers of such things have historically kept certain legitimate voices silent in publishing. But it has a downside, too. Namely, noise that is at best just inaccurate and at worst is really harmful.

There's one website that's continually fascinated and saddened me, and that's www.thebeatlesneverexisted.com (http://www.thebeatlesneverexisted.com). That guy might actually need help.

Also, some people believe Jews are reptiles (http://aryanoccultnation.weebly.com/jews-are-reptilian-hybrids.html).

That there is an Illuminati controlling everything and

Not a believer but my favorite is that George HW had John Lennon shot.

Wish I could completely get the JFK 'conspiracy' out of my head, as had been stated, just about everyone 'involved' is dead.
Not ready to believe Oswald didn't do it; the question is who was in it with him? His family had ties to the New Orleans mob (Carlos Marcello). And how did Oswald get off so lightly after his defection to the USSR? Were there government people in cahoots with him as well?

What was he doing in my city in the summer of '63? How did he have a job at a coffee company but was allowed liberal leave where he assisted in research in an uptown lab?
Why did Oswald hand out leaflets defending Castro, but was in an organization wanting his overthrow?
What was the deal with him in Mexico?
And he apparently knew Jack Ruby.

There have been at least 3 books about this period - Lee and Me (about a young woman who had an affair with Oswald, and who also had dual jobs at the coffee company and lab), Dr Mary's Monkey (about the researcher who ran that mysterious lab, and was murdered), and a biography of the enigmatic David Ferrie (a rather pathetic figure). After reading these books I could almost see smoke coming out of my ears from overload and had to set it all aside.
(Note- My brother-in-law, who just retired from 40 years as a professional pilot, took at least one flying lesson from David Ferrie while a teenager in the mid-60s)

To say "I don't believe in conspiracy theories" logically means you don't believe in conspiracies, since every discovery of a conspiracy must have started as a theory. And conspiracies clearly do happen. It's better to say you don't believe anything that comes from the mouths of those whose hobby is conspiracy theories.

Then again, a journalistic principle passed on to the staff of Private Eye by Claud Cockburn was "listen to the loons" if you wanted to dig up a big story that was being ignored by everyone else. This advice apparently paid off.

He's referring to a certain sort of public, usually government/world power conspiracy theories. Anyway, it was clear to me what set of conspiracy theories was being referred to.
And that advice paid off for the media, but did it pay off for anyone else? When the media reports every perspective as if they are of equal credibility and weight, the public loses, I think.
Let me add, though, that your point is absolutely correct and that I don't know whether British media has the same difficulty of reporting fringe beliefs (i.e. science deniers) as if they are of equal credibility.

I was not meaning my post to sound argumentative, I was just musing aloud on the keyboard.

However, I don't think the term "conspiracy theory" necessarily refers to government/world power would be-conspiracies. I know it usually does but I think conspiracy theorists as a breed are equally likely to believe in theories of lesser importance. It's just that the really big ones are the most unlikely, therefore the easiest to laugh at.

And yes, the advice was purely to journalists, and it didn't mean to investigate indiscriminately everything the cranks tell you, it means to keep an open mind and hear them out. As non-journalists, such patience would probably not be worth our while as you and I both know the vast majority of these theories are ludicrous (and often offensive in their prejudices).

I'm surprised no one has paid any thought to the conspiracy theories that exist on this very forum (board members being on band members' payrolls).

I've always found the NWO conspiracies the funniest. Somehow or another, people can't get along so much they can coexist long enough to somehow form a global government. I sometimes wonder if the peddlers of conspiracy theories come from consanguine ‎parentage.

Both, rather all three, of your points thoroughly taken and very sensible.

The one conspiracy that I think may be true is that Pharmaceutical companies are holding back on medical cures. In a stand-up routine done by Chris Rock, he claims that "they ain't cured sh*t, since polio". That drug companies can come up with medicines that keep ills at bey, but never find an all out cure for anything. Too much money to be made in treating the symptoms than to actually cure it. He may be speaking the truth on this one.

You mean that if you say something remotely negative about a song or album that Brian Wilson had anything to do with, then you're not a fan, you hate Brian and Melinda, and are on Mike Love's payroll? 

That one is a constant source of amusement. 

Thought paid. Sometimes seems wisest not to comment.
Agree/disagree on NWO. I don't think there's an outright conspiracy, but I think people with power most often make choices that entrench their power, which sometimes means making choices that entrench the power of other people with power, because they are benefitting from the same conditions.

I think this is true, but I don't think it's a conspiracy. See my above comment re: people with power.

Emily, it is a conspiracy in so much as many medical charities come out to the public to help with cures for MS, MD, Aids, all sorts of Cancers, yet the billions that come out of the public"s pockets never materializes into what they think the money is going towards.

I do think there's swindling involved. And probably conspiracy among executives at Company A, true. I just don't think the executives from Company A and those from Company B and from Charity A got together to agree on a plan. Though, often times the same people move around as executives of all three, so if I parse it out, I can see it as a conspiracy, yes.

I received a nasty PM from a member once about exactly this. Some of the Brianistas here should consider loosening the tinfoil hats a smidge. Heaven forbid if any more blood is blocked from reaching their brains. :)

Loosen the BBs ball cap a bit! >:D

Hmmm...nasty PMs you say?  Didn't that get somebody banned? 

Multiple people going back the decade or so that private messaging on Beach Boys related forums became available. You should have seen the photos of rotting corpses that were sent around by an angry member...actually that happened several times on several boards, if I recall.

Not about the theory itself, but probably the most classic reaction to a conspiracy theorist was when Buzz Aldrin - former Air Force F-86 fighter pilot who flew over 60 missions in Korea, who holds a doctorate in engineering, and who also happened to walk on the moon - delivered a right hook to the jaw of this gadfly faked-moon-landing conspiracy theorist after he reached his limit with this clown carrying a Bible and asking Aldrin to swear on it that he lied about the moon landings. And there is video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wptn5RE2I-k (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wptn5RE2I-k)

Down goes the conspiracy nut.

Those pictures were posted publicly on here...I remember it well because I never banned a member so fast in my entire time as a mod.

I don't like either the Mike Love's payroll accusations nor the assertions that if you don't like Mike Love's work you can't be a Beach Boys fan. They both are forms of suppression.

I don't really care what people on here like or dislike. Others do. That's their problem. :lol

I'm OK with people being critical of Mike and some of his stuff.  The thing that bothers me is when people say he was a useless member of the group and try to say he made no positive contributions. 

There's plenty about Michael to be critical of! Lousy vocals on Keepin' the Summer Alive, Country Love (egad!), the sh*t he did with Adrian Baker...eeek. Some godawful stuff. In the hallucinations of some, everything the man did is on that level and that's not only untrue but just ridiculous.

I feel the same way.

All right, guys, let's get back to conspiracy theories.

Jews can't be reptiles because some reptiles shed their entire skin. Shedding and/or removing one's foreskin will not lead to eternal life, guys. Antisemitic conspiracy theories are among the snarkiest and in some cases the funniest...one is often left wondering what drugs these people are on when they dream them up.

Clearly, the footage was faked! :lol

I'd bust someone's face in if they called me a coward and a liar as well. He deserved it.

It has to be incredibly surreal to have people insisting to your face that you didn't do what you clearly remember doing. One of my father's friends believes the moon landing was faked, but he also doesn't like bacon, so I'm not sure what's up with that guy.

:o

Well if he doesn't like bacon, I'd say his credibility is questionable at best.  

Must be one of them "reptilian" people! :lol

If you ever want to lose yourself for a few hours, just search "reptilian shapeshifter" on YouTube.
Here's a good one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDSPeImdaAM

I have to admit it's enjoyable watching people flash "Illuminati" hand signs and seeing people online looking for all kinds of these signs and who is flashing them. If you unfortunately happen to stumble on a YouTube video that has any of this in the comments, you'd get the impression Jay-Z and Eminem are elite members of the Illuminati who are ostensibly responsible for the direction of the world's affairs.

Speaking of the flat earth theory, everyone should check this out: Neil DeGrasse Tyson Gets Into A Rap Battle With B.o.B Over Flat Earth Theory (http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/01/26/464474518/neil-degrasse-tyson-gets-into-a-rap-battle-with-b-o-b-over-flat-earth-theory).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uas5tm_78PY
 :lol :lol :lol

I'm not sure if this qualifies. 

But one of my favorite Catholic beliefs (that I think has been mostly dismissed because I never heard it when I was Catholic) was that Satan put the dinosaur fossils into the ground to have people believe that the Bible was not true. 

New one for me. :)

I'd never heard about it until Alice in Chains put out an album five years ago called The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here. 

I've heard that, but doubt it's a Catholic belief. Contrary to popular opinion, Catholicism has tended to be (relatively) science-friendly in recent decades. But fundamentalist Protestants certainly have all kinds of nonsensical and obviously inaccurate ideas about the history of the earth and life on it.

Probably. 

I grew up Catholic, and I'd never heard that.....I'm not even going to call it a theory. 

Fundamentalist creationists, I'm sure.

ay-ay-ay.

In the quotes used, I never remember reading anywhere where Brian used the word witchcraft and ghoulish. Did he ever say that stuff or this sh*t all made up BS?

"witchcraft" is from a goofy Brian quote from Nick Kent.

I am cardboard.

Looks like your opinion no longer matters either, RR.

bacon question got bacon answer.

The Catholic Church officially has no problems with Evolution. A Catholic priest was the one who formulated the Big Bang Theory

There has been a "cult" of bacon in recent years in the USA. It's added to things everywhere, people talk about how great it is, it's added to strange things (including ice cream, for example). But TRBB's joke is about the idiotic conspiracy theory mentioned earlier in this thread that some people think Jews are reptiles. No bacon. Jews. Make sense?

It's like joking with a piece of cardboard.

Right, that was my point. I assume the reason people think otherwise is because they're a centralized, wealthy entity (as opposed to protestantism, which is so spread out across denomination after denomination) with some very unpopular positions on things like birth control and gay marriage. But yeah, on the big bang, on evolution, they're realistic. The religion of my youth? Not so much.

RR is confirmed reptilian member of the Knights Templar on a mission to raise Satan and Joan Rivers to rule the world as a metrosexual dictatorship.

OK, got it re: "bacon". 2Mr. Waves - yes, humor is not my strong suit. But in this case, I didn't know about bacon being such popular dish in the U.S. I thought it's steak.

We love all meats here in America. Me, I'm partial to any and all types of sausage. :)

I object. I have loved bacon since I was a child. Who hasn't?

I asked some yankees - 1 said they like bacon, 2 others don't. It's a big country, I'm sure there & around live people with aversion to it.

Well, I probably shouldn't have said that, but I do think you have a tendency to take things too seriously.

They were funnin' witcha. Prolly cause ya called em yankees.

They don't read this board so I doubt they were having fun with that. & afaik, yankees isn't offensive to Americans. Same as British-limeys etc. Btw, aren't you vegetarian?

Really, no one believes any conspiracies? Do anyone know anyone that does?

If someone called me a "Yankee" it wouldn't offend me. However, to lots of Southern U.S. neighbors of mine, "Yankee" would be the ultimate insult!  ;D

.

Dogs and cats have conspired to turn humans into their slaves.

Does this mean...DOGS AND CATS LIVING TOGETHER?!? Mass hysteria!

There are gremlins that sneak into my guitar cases and tie knots into my cables after I have them wrapped perfectly and packed for the next use. Happens to my mic cables too. I see it on a daily basis. What can I do to get them to stop bothering me and tangling up my cables, can I pay them to leave my cables alone and bother someone else?

I'd assume it was a southerner speaking, and probably not complimenting me. I've never heard anyone call anyone a yankee unless a) the person was talking about the baseball team or b) it was my idiot Alabama cousin, whom I once observed trying to "count how many yankees is in my driveway" when my family tumbled out of the station wagon on a vacation visiting his. (For the record, it was his father's driveway, not his--though he was unemployed and still lived there despite being well into his 20s, having quit or been booted from the service during basic training--and he didn't get to the final tally of yankees. It was six. Quite a guy, that cousin.)

My conservative family more or less believes climate change is a conspiracy theory, or (at their most charitable) that it might be sort-of real but certainly not affected by humankind.

One of my friends believes 9/11 was orchestrated by the Bush administration, that FDR very intentionally allowed Pearl Harbor to be attacked so he could enter the war, and that Oswald didn't act alone. (I don't recall who he thinks was behind the assassination, though.)

Oh, and I have an idiotic uncle--but not the father of the aforementioned idiotic Alabaman cousin--who believes basically every single moronic anti-Obama/anti-liberal/anti-Democratic/etc conspiracy theory any crackpot website posts.

That the NBA draft is rigged. ;)

I don't doubt that there's a human contribution to climate change, but even scientific studies have suggested that a single volcano releases more sh*t into the atmosphere than all human emissions combined throughout history. And when governments want to censor or imprison people for daring to suggest that maybe the science isn't "settled" (science is NEVER "settled;" science is the collection of knowledge into testable explanations and predictions, not a final word) as so many liberal talking heads hallucinate on the topic of climate change, one is left wondering just how "settled" the science really is. People who go on about "settled" science have agendas; they also (willingly or inadvertently) put themselves into the same basket as the people who insisted the earth was the center of the universe and that the sun revolved around the earth. The science was "settled" in those cases, too.

Yes, I just compared climate change acolytes to Catholic leaders. It is not an apples and oranges comparison, unless you think the climate change acolytes are somehow the kinder, gentler version of oppressors (kind of like how "democratic" socialism is somehow preferable to regular socialism).

I agree with much of that, actually. Science is never quite settled, because the entire process is always open to the next refutation or discovery. (That said, there are certainly things that we can feel pretty confident about.) There is something to be said for consensus of experts, though. I don't mean to say their words should be considered gospel, but they should be given appropriate weight, especially in areas in which we individually lack the expertise. One must decide whom to trust (and how deeply to trust them), giving appropriate consideration to their possible motivations as well as their actual scientific work. There are also of course the potential consequences of various positions, and one's action or inaction.

I can certainly respect scientific consensus (or at least something in the neighborhood of such as all scientists will never agree). However, when refusal to "believe" the "settled" science can be seen as a criminal offense in the eyes of the government, that's something to be worried about. It leaves me (an eternal skeptic on just about everything, even conspiracy theories) with the impression that the euphemistic language given to the process known now as "anthropomorphic climate change" is not "science" but religion.

http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2016/03/10/us-attorney-general-we-may-prosecute-climate-change-deniers/

While I struggle to read Breitbart because it raises my sodium levels to unhealthy levels*, I will say this: if the administration were to prosecute based on fraud, that's one thing; if it did so based on denying consensus, that's another. I know NY AG Schneiderman is investigating whether some fossil fuel companies (Exxon Mobil, I think) believed and acted one way in private while making public statements to the contrary, they should be charged for it. If some scientist took a contrary position to the consensus, that's quite another.


*i.e., it requires more than just a grain of salt. Ha! I'm funny! Right!? ... Anyone? Anyone?

Oh and to bring it back to my family members' aversion to the idea, I want to be clear: nothing in their position is based on investigating the actual science. It's entirely based on what their religious leaders and those people's preferred politicians have said. For years, their main objection was that the Bible says that after the Flood, God said he wouldn't destroy the world again by flooding. And since scientists warning about climate change talk a lot about sea levels rising and causing widespread damage, well, that's just not acceptable. So it must be fake.

Ha! Imagine being the one among my fellow pagans who openly has conservative political viewpoints. One of my former friends refused association with me when I openly criticized the "settled" science of climate change. Apparently, that's now classed alongside "hate speech."

I love when politicians preface their views of climate change with "I'm not a scientist, but..."

To show the other side of this, here are 10 conspiracy theories that turned out to be true (http://theantimedia.org/10-conspiracy-theories-that-turned-out-to-be-true/).

This is the quote Loretta Lynch was responding to:

"The similarities between the mischief of the tobacco industry pretending that the science of tobacco’s dangers was unsettled and the fossil fuel industry pretending that the science of carbon emissions’ dangers is unsettled has been remarked on widely, particularly by those who study the climate denial apparatus that the fossil fuel industry has erected.

Under President Clinton, the Department of Justice brought and won a civil RICO action against the tobacco industry for its fraud. Under President Obama, the Department of Justice has done nothing so far about the climate denial scheme."

The exchange was specifically in the context of energy companies intentionally spreading misinformation for their financial benefit.
Beware Breitbart. They have been shown repeatedly to intentionally manipulate their reporting with the intent of manipulating their readership. Unfortunately they've been extremely successful.

I've noticed that too.  Bacon has always been popular, but it seems like it's attained a brand new sense of popularity the last few years. 

They have bacon candles and bacon Pop Tarts now. 

They even have a bacon vodka, which is absolutely dreadful. 

One thing that's frustrating is that in most of these govt/police/military conspiracies, there are a bunch of head scratching blunders by authorities that just add fuel to the fire, i.e.: OJ

Now one with a BB connection is Manson. Over the years, the more I read about this, the more I move away from the Prosecutor's explanation. Not that Manson wasn't involved, but the motives seem to point in different directions.

The government didn't plan 9/11 but allowed it to happen to suit their agenda. The people who used to get all offended at the suggestion and profess "our gov't would never!" should read up on Operation Northwoods...or just watch the damn news...and then tell me our gov't and the intelligence agencies always act in perfect benevolence.

A lot of the bullshit studies arguing in favor of circumcision (IE male genital mutilation) are done to placate the millions of innocent men who've been robbed of the majority of erogenous tissue against their will by a cruel, unjust social crusade. (Look up how it became normalized in the US.) If the majority of men really understood the gravity of what was done to them, and weren't silenced by unwillingness to admit there's something wrong down there, there'd be riots in the streets.

Women know a lot of feminism (or if you insist, I'll call it 4th wave intersectional feminism, ie what's commonly called "wokeism") is bullshit and against even their own nature but cynically push the narrative because it benefits them over men. Look, Im all for equal rights, respect and opportunity--this isn't "hate speech," this isn't "let's roll back hard won victories." I'm just arguing in favor of honestly acknowledging human nature. Women say they want emotionally-sensitive men who cry and are in touch with their feminine side. Maybe they do in some contexts...but not their man. Woman say it's "sexist mansplaining" if a guy disagrees...they know they're being held only to the same standards, but why not play your most effective trump card to "win" a confrontation? Women say they can do anything men can do...but why aren't they pushing for more female miners, trash pickers, ditch diggers? Why is it just STEM and politics that get the push for more female applicants (with less rigorous requirements than their male counterparts)? Why don't they push for women to have to sign up for the draft? The reason support for feminism isn't higher and seems to be dropping among young men is because of these inconsistencies...some might say willful hypocrisies...that no one is allowed to talk about or get labelled an incel. There's absolutely a cabal at work pushing these narratives especially in Hollywood, where the last 10-odd years have had endless "deconstructions" of beloved male heroes, forced Mary Sue inclusions and feminist talking points or stereotypes inserted into everything.

Bigfoot exists. There's several 911 calls I've heard (the most convincing is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntgR_bbpdyo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntgR_bbpdyo)) where reasonably sounding people have reported sightings with no rational reason to lie, this being the 90s before such things might be faked for internet points. If the guy's doing a bit he had no audience and is a better actor that plenty of folks in Hollywood. I absolutely believe this man saw something. There's much more unexplored wilderness than people realize and we find new species all the time. I think the detractors underestimate things like that. Also, of course there's a lot of fake sightings and hoaxes too.

The government was already a crypto-fascist surveillance state during the Bush and Obama terms at least, Trump just went full mask off about it. Hopefully if we survive this admin with a republic intact it might spur more people to realize why these systems MUST be torn down. It's far too much power and there's no guarantee the President will be a rational actor behaving in good conscience.

Transgenderism or what have you is a real medical condition where the brain and body are mismatched. I do believe that. However I also believe it's gone way too far lately and has been pushed both my media types as a "look at me, Im special" fad, embraced by some men as a "hey Im not an evil white male--im a victim too, stop hating me!" (who could blame them, the demonization of men is out of control) and pushed by big pharma as a way to sell people drugs/operations they dont actually need.

Cash is being phased out to force everyone to use electronic payment methods that can be "service fee'd" up the wazoo and even shut off for anyone who doesn't toe the party line. The bankers got us all by the balls.

The Great American Streetcar scandal happened and things of the sort continue to happen, where the rich/businesses team up to buy up and/or shut down any beneficial social policies/programs to make life worse for everyone if it makes us use their crappier alternatives. With knowledge of "enshittification" and "shrinkflation" becoming more widely known, hopefully this isn't as controversial anymore.