The Smiley Smile Message Board

http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/13/us/beverly-hills-john-stamos-dui-arrest/ (http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/13/us/beverly-hills-john-stamos-dui-arrest/)

Cousin Brian did drugs, but Uncle Jesse likes to drink, and still does.

Maybe there's more to the story, but it's not looking good for Mr. Stamos at the moment. Maybe this will keep him off of The Beach Boys' stage for a while?

The reports say he is hospitalized for a possible underlying issue.

Speedy recovery, to him, and hope to see him take the stage with the BB's soon!  :love

Tainted by the Wilson blood

In all seriousness, I do hope he is OK. Thank God he didn't injure anyone else or injure himself. In my OP I assumed he had been drinking, but that may not have been the case.

The underlying issue was that he lied to the cops telling them his name was Dennis Wilson as he broke into Forever and made them listen while being immediately cuffed.  :o

I wonder if Mike Love will mention this in every interview he gives from now on.

He could probably find a way to mention it in their off-the-cuff bantering before they go into "Be True to Your School."

probably. ;)

 :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

And he had fun, fun, fun until the state took his license away.

Let's go drinkin' now
Everybody's drinkin' wow
C'mon and go drinkin' with meeeeee.

OSD :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN some drunk driver takes his car out now...

"I guess I shouldn't have kept my mouth shut when he drove off drunk within that car."

And I'll just drink, drink, drink till the smoky takes my T-Bird awayyyy.

I crashed my Little Deuce Coupe
I was drunk off my tot.

Still Cruisin' after all these beers.

Why do fools drink sooo much...?

Roll Plymouth car roll over!

He must not have listened to Be True to your O'Douls

:lol

Who ran over the iron horse?

But I swig hard from the bottle that's in front of me
Knock down all the roadsigns a-stumbling me
Throw off all the cops that are chasing me down

"Wouldn't it be nice if I was sober, then not get arrested by the law?"

(http://i.imgur.com/JIYq5fq.jpg)

The winner of the thread.

 :lol

 :woot :woot :woot :woot :woot :woot :woot

Okay, you win the thread.

Maybe it's genetic, or maybe they were abused by their father, or both.

Maybe they read this board too often.

Do you like humor? ::)

Probably both. Probably.

I'm picking up bad vibrations
Cop's giving me a citation

In-In-In- toxication..

(http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/uploads/carlsberg_probably_best_beer_world.jpg)
Probably.

Have mercy. 

I hereby contest your definition of "probably." Respond, damn you!

Thats why God made the Courtesy Bus

The bad news?  Stamos will not be allowed to participate any further with Beach Boys releated activities.

The good news?  Fats Domino wants him to redo 'I'm Walkin',  Walkin' To New Orleans', 'I Want to Walk You Home', 'Did You Ever See a Dream Walkin', 'When I'm Walking...Let Me Walk', 'Rockin Bicycle' and 'One For the Highway'

The album'll be called 'Fats Stamos...Walkin' with Mr. Domino'.

[They're in negotiations to fill out the album with songs like 'The Walk', 'Walkin After Midnight', 'Walk Right Back', 'Walk This Way' and 'The Walk of Life'.

If every drink I take
Could get me stopped
I'd drink forever
I'd ask this guy is he a cop
Mmm Touch nose forever

In a bottle or in a glass
Chug a beer then step on the gas.

Dennis wonders what's under the hood
A big chrome tach and it sounds real good
I go down to the cheep beer stand
And drink up all that I can

Give me some cheep beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some cheep beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some cheep beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Cold beer, cheep beer
Here a mug, there a mug, everybody chug-a-lug

Okay, okay, just one more for me...

Well I saved my pennies and I saved my dimes
(Gotta pay off that DUI)
For I knew there would be a time
(Gotta pay off that DUI)
When I would get slapped with a DUI
(DUI, DUI)

:lol #rekt

The Ballard of Ol Betty (Ford)

John was born in 63, and was he ever pretty
He rode his car out west, round those Hills of Beverly
But Bettys seen more faces, than he'll hope to see
Bettys saving a place for our friend, Uncle Jessie

Every cloud................ ;)

"Let him drive drunk, he don't care, let him drive drunk, he'll find out..."

"I'm waiting for the day when you can drive again..."

There's a story told,
Of a handsome sitcom star
And the brew that marred his name

Tho his band was hurt
He still would bongo on
For his heart was full of drink

:lol

Walk, walk, walk I can't walk in a straight line,
Drunk, drunk, drunk I'm drunk outta my mind.

(giggle)

Time to bring in this homebrewed palindromic limerick (by cd/rs/jk - in succession):

Sex if dat Dennis/JESSE nixes...
on NO ton-o-SMiLE mono mixes!
'a.k.A. sex I'm on O'
M(e)L: "I'm so NOT on no...
- sexiness!" E.J. sinned, Tad fixes

['Jesse' from Jesse & the Rippers=Dennis wannabe and Mike/M(e)L sycophant: Stamos. "Sex I'm on.." = us SMiLE/Brian-sycophants. E.J.=Elton John (originally a Brian-wannabe).Tad=Tad Jennings (an Elton-wannabe)]

Wheeeeeeeeeennnnn

some washed-up actor tries to drag through town and thinks his hair's still great,

I tell him right away,

Now whats a matter Jesse ain't you heard of the cops

They'll lock you up in this State...

 :lol

this thread rules.


I had to prove a medical condition now,
but that's not me.
I wanted to show I wasn't drunk as a skunk now,
but that's not me.

I can seeeee, you're drunk by your eyessss

But sirrrr.... can you walk a straight line....

There are things we both could SAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

But don't tallllk, put your hands on the hoood sirrr

Ron :lol

It starts with just a little sip now
Right away you're thinkin' 'bout more sips now
You know you oughta pound 'em slower
But you just can't wait to hit the flo-oooooor

A brand new bottle of booze is such a beautiful thing
But if you're not careful think of all the pain it can bring

It makes you puke so bad
It makes your face turn red
It makes your girl go down
It makes your dick so long

You've got to keep in mind beer is here today
And it's gone tomorrow
It's here and gone so fast

You made me believe in love again!

Hey, hey! Take him away! Put that drunk in jail!

Run, a Run, a Beer Run Run

Oh Oh! Run, A Run, A Beer Run Run

Whoa Whoa! Run!  A Run, A Beer Run Run

Whoa Ohhhhhhh!

Well my legs aren't steady but I'm a Soap Opera Beautyyyy
And all the girls still call me a Full House Cuuuuttieeee
I've been drinkin' half the night but the beer's run dry
And the quik-e-mart's open even at this time of night

Run, a Run, a Beer Run Run

Oh Oh! Run, A Run, A Beer Run Run

Whoa Whoa! Run!  A Run, A Beer Run Run

Whoa Ohhhhhhh!

I'm thinkin I'm Dennis Wilson
I'm drinkin like Dennis Wilson
I sang Forever like Dennis Wilson (oom bop bop good inebriations)
I like the ladies like Dennis Wilson (oom bop bop inebriations)

Tuning in the latest star
From the jail cell in my town
Cruising at seven
DUI at 11

 that whole fake medical emergency thing, does that ever work?? Won't they eventually figure out you're drunk at the hospital? I guess he forgot maybe, that there's tons of cops at a hospital ...
 I bet he wanted to make a sneaky escape. Get the vitals checked. Then: Casually remove his bracelet , IV and gown--- stroll past the nurse's station, charming them to death, with his handsomene virility--and immediately break into  a dead sprint for the nearest taxi = crisis avoided.
  Too bad. So sad.
Clever idea, though.

It's been such a long day so I better hurry home
Forgot my licence and I wish I was home
Only five minutes and I'll fall through the door
 
Beer in the morning
Beer in the evening
Beer and make my glass fuuuuuuulllll
 

I keep looking for a bar to drink in where I can lose my mind
I've been trying hard to find Uncle Joey who I won't leave behind
I got really nice hair but it ain't doing me no good
I wish it could

Each time I start drinkin’ again
I think I’ll pour something good for myself
But what goes
(Wrong?)

Sometimes I drum very bad
Sometimes I drum very bad
(Can't find a big glass I can pour my Margarita into)
Sometimes I drum very bad
(Can't find a big glass I can pour my Margarita into)

I guess I just love me some Early Times

Every time I take a swig of Moonshine and go drive all around
Aunt Becky wants to help me look for places where sobriety might be found
Where will I turn when the Rippers won’t work out, what's it all about?

Each time I start drinkin’ again
I think I’ll pour something good for myself
But what goes
(Wrong?)

Sometimes I drum very bad
Sometimes I drum very bad
(Can't find a big glass I can pour my Margarita into)
Sometimes I drum very bad
(Can't find a big glass I can pour my Margarita into)

I guess I just love me some Early Times
I guess I just love me some Early Times
I guess I just love me some Early Times

This is freakin' golden.  :lol

That's the censored version, bruh. The one I almost posted was much more politically incorrect. :lol

 :woot :woot :woot :woot :woot Looks like we have a tie for best post in this thread. Should we have a run off.  8)

In the cantina
Margarita's keep his spirit high
There I watched him
He spun around and
Round and then he puked all over the floor.
Too much Margarita don't you know Mike Love is pissed with you
Damn
Damn

You're under arrest!

Wow, another minimally altered one.  I guess it just goes to show how well some of these songs lend themselves to the joke.

Alcoholic Content 4%ever
Everyone's in Love with DYouI 
Don't F*ck with the Malt Liquor Formula
AA Day in the Life of a Tree
Okie from Alcoholics Anonymuskogee
Is Jack Daniels Rieley Superman?

http://www.40ozmaltliquor.com/40/crazyhorse.jpg

Who drank the crazy horse...
Who drank the crazy horse...
Who drank the crazy horse...

Over and over, Old Crow flies over the windshield...

It worked for my mom once.  She was driving a car she had no title or tags for, on like a 200 mile trip (went gambling).  She made it almost all the way home, then the cops pulled her over... so she faked a seizure and said she was diabetic.  They took her to the hospital and left the car sitting at a gas station. 

True story. 

502, 502
Buddy gonna shut you down

It happened on the strip where the road is wide
My partner and me sitting side by side
Some actor blows by as if he's in a scene
Revvin' up his engine and it sounds real mean

502, 502
Buddy gonna shut you down

He's bound to kill somebody drivin' at this rate
So all at once we both accelerate
My squad car is hot, the tire's are startin' to spin
But I see Uncle Jessie's really diggin' in

Gotta be cool now power shift here we go

His big Italian sports car's windin' out in low
But my fuel injected squad car's really startin' to go
To get the traction I'm ridin' the clutch
My pressure plate's burnin' that machine's too much

"Pull it over, buddy, you can't drive and drink"
He claims he's sick, he needs to see his shrink
He's goin' to the hoosegow but it's understood
He's a wannabe Beach Boy, but he just ain't that good.

Shut it off, shut it off.  Buddy now I shut you down
Shut it off, shut it off.  Buddy now I shut you down

Genius!

it's a good thing Mike distances himself from those with substance abuse issues and runs such a clean ship

http://www.people.com/article/john-stamos-rehab-substance-abuse

I wonder if he will mention this in every interview now. Or if he will mention on stage before they do "Forever" or something.

My thoughts exactly

Gotta wonder what the reaction here would have been if any particular Beach Boy had been arrested for DUI:

Brian: "Oh my god I hope he's okay - he can stay at my place if it helps - I have some songs that are just perfect for him - sure he's free to leave any time he feels better … just one more song first okay? - want some more birthday cake darling… I mean, Brian? I'm your biggest most caring fan!"

Mike: "The bastard, he coulda killed someone driving in that state!"

Dennis: "Heh! What a swell guy! Rock and roll!"

Al: "You're having a joke right?"

Carl?

Five long days and I'm tired of drinking
I'm going to see Mike Love today
In fifteen minutes I'll be in a cab
'Cause I'm a drink driver

Ah
Let's get pissed up
And feel so guuuuuroovy

I like drinking my liqueur
And I like having a good time ('forever')
Gin & Orange makes me happy
And I'm so happy
'Cause I just got DUI

Epic :lol

You know, I really do hope the guy gets his substance abuse issues under control and does well. My main complaint with Stamos is that he's a showboat who just doesn't belong up there, pretending to be a Beach Boy, when real Beach Boys are marginalized and excluded from the band they founded. I don't wish him any ill will. But, I do have to admit the situation is a bit ironic. So, with that in mind…



Forever (Rehab song)


If every drink I drank

Could make you laugh

You'd laugh forever (Together Mike Love)


I asked this guy if you were mad

Mmm... he said "forever"

(Together Mike Love my my my my my my my my my my my
my my)

If the song I sing to you

Could make me one of you

I'd sing forever (together Mike Love my my my my)

Forever

Forever

I've been so happy singing too…

Do do do do do do do do do together Mike Love

Let the me stay right here with you

A Beach Boy I'll play

And be forever (together Mike Love)

Forever

Forever

I've been so happy drumming too

Baby just let me sing it my baby

I want to be singin' my baby

Baby baby baby my baby

I want to be singin'

I want to be singin' my baby

Oh oh oh oh

My my my my my my

So I'm goin' away

Mmm but not forever

Na na na na


We'll do Full House anyway
Forever

Wouldn't it be nice if we were sober
Then we wouldn't have to barf so long
And wouldn't it be nice to drive together
To the Daily Pint where we belong

You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can make a toast and chug together

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning covered in our spew
And after having puked all night together
Spend the next day locked up in the loo

Early Times together we've been sipping
I wish that every step would not be tripping
Wouldn't it be nice

Maybe if we drink and piss and hope and pray we might not heave
Baby then there wouldn't be a bouncer to make us leave
We would be carried
All through the lobby

Wouldn't it be nice

You know it seems the more reach our limit
We only take our cup and pour more in it
But let’s pour more in it
Wouldn't it be nice

Coors Light my baby
Bud Light my baby

He's back!!!!!!  :drumroll

http://www.tmz.com/2015/09/27/beach-boys-john-stamos-reunion-rehab/

Reason number three ::) not to see this bar band is back. First reason-"The Hat", second reason, the butler.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21FZwkC8Qsc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21FZwkC8Qsc)

Starring in this show crap would make me want to drink too.

funny how Stamos and his recent DUI are more welcome than BW with his decades old drug abuse. Hypocrites.... ::)

"sick drum solo" = always a good time to grab a beer...

You can say that about any drum solo IMO. 

 funny how Stamos and his recent DUI are more welcome than BW with his decades old drug abuse. Hypocrites....
[/quote]

We always liked Brian.

We NEVER liked Stamos.

And DUI is different from depression, my friend; DUI puts many people in life-and-death danger. Brian only put himself in danger.

I'm so grateful that he wasn't at the show I saw this summer. I couldn't have tolerated it. It's hard enough watching mike's antics; having Stamos there would have been intolerable. Thank goodness we got David Marks instead. I loathe Stamos for pretending to be a Beach Boy.

 :thumbsup :thumbsup  But, I ask, why were you there in the first place? ??? Why would you want to see a watered down tribute band when Brian's superb band is currently touring with absolutely no chance of seeing myKe luHv or the fake BB Staymohs on his stage?

Because both groups put on great shows and celebrate the music of The Beach Boys. 

I'll take the risk of a John Stamos sighting to hear songs like Farmer's Daughter, I'm So Young, and Good to My Baby in concert in what is usually about a 40+ plus song set. 

I saw Brian, Al, and Blondie early in the summer, and I saw Mike, Bruce, and David later in the summer.  And I can honestly say that both shows were excellent. 

That's fine. Knock yourself out, man. I'm just not into fraudulent acts that call themselves something they're obviously not. "Why go out for a hamburger, when you can have steak at Brian's shows?" By the way, didn't you just recently become a fan? Just wonderin'.  ;)

I'm a fairly recent convert to the world of the BB after seeing a reunion show in 2012. 

So, I've seen the C50 Beach Boys, a Brian show with Al and Blondie, and a 2015 BB show with Mike, Bruce, and David.  And I'll be seeing Brian, Al, and Blondie again in November. 

And, also let's face it, Brian doesn't do nearly as many shows as Mike and Bruce.  So it's easier for a lot of people to catch a BB concert.  I consider myself lucky that I'm getting a chance to see Brian twice this year. 

And while I love a good steak, a hamburger can be extremely satisfying. 

1) because I'd seen Brian in early July (incredible show) and he wasn't playing anywhere else remotely near me for the rest of the summer.  So, desperately craving something - anything! - related to the Beach Boys, I bought tickets for a Mike and Bruce show in August.   

2) also, sheer curiosity.  My verdict?  They were good.  Not the calibre of Brian's band, but they did sound good and they gave the audience two hours of solid entertainment.  And a plus was that David Marks was there, which we hadn't expected.   

But had Stamos been there, I think I would've had to bail. 

Stamos probably shouldn't rate a desertion.  After all, Mike's learned long ago that a train wreck is more entertaining to watch than nothing.  Hence that weird dance he used to do.

And DUI is different from depression, my friend; DUI puts many people in life-and-death danger. Brian only put himself in danger.
[/quote]

I think Marilyn, Carnie, and Wendy Wilson would disagree with that assertion.

It's hard not to picture his expression as he types that, and it's pretty hilarious. "I'll show THEM! OH I'll GET 'EM GOOD!"

 For the love of Stamos...

(http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2007/startracks/070723/john_stamos.jpg)

 :smokin - I hadn't thought of it that way, Ontor...now I'm amused.

"Wouldn't It Be Nice" played within the first five minutes of Stamos' new Show, Grandfathered, when he said, "Play happy music!"

Say what you want about him, but he always makes an effort to keep the Beach Boys music in front of his audiences. Good boy, Johnny! :)

I just read that Stamos wasn't drunk but under the influence of Liquid Ecstasy when he was arrested.



Well, one has to give him credit at least for trying to be an authentic Beach Boy I guess...

Last night I caught it on roku.  It will be interesting how they develop the "grandfather" character, and how his "family" gives him the "reality check." I thought the Christine Milian character was hilarious.   :lol

(http://static.tvgcdn.net/MediaBin/Galleries/Celebrities/J/John-H_Johz/John_Stamos/1/john-stamos3.jpg)

Mike: "You're under arrest!"

Stamos: "H&V....H&V...H&V? No...Heroes and Villains definitely not on my setlist Mike!"

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3274434/Actor-John-Stamos-charged-driving-influence.html

(http://static.tvgcdn.net/MediaBin/Galleries/Celebrities/J/John-H_Johz/John_Stamos/1/john-stamos3.jpg)

Mike: "So when your shower mate asks you to pick up the soap...best you just put your hands up and go with it!"

Off camera, the T-1000 arrives to prevent Mike from releasing another novelty Christmas song in the future.

(http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2007/startracks/070723/john_stamos.jpg)

Charlie:"You can bunk in my cell Dennis!"

A friend of the 'boys is a friend of mine.  I hope John makes it through this rough patch of his life and gets back to being the incredibly handsome 3rd wheel we all love him as :)

The Pilot episode of Grandfathered (got it free on iTunes) was pretty damn smart and funny. The following episodes not as much, but check out the Pilot.