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Title: Can a native English/American speaker tell me if a sentence is correct English? Post by: Yorick on January 28, 2015, 12:50:37 PM Hi there,
I'm currently writing a song called Days and the chorus starts with the sentence: These are the days that I'll treasure for life Can you say this like I think you can? Or does it sound unusual or odd? Does it make sense? Or should I change it to: These are the days that I'll treasure like life or: These are the days, the true treasures of life Any help would be appreciated! This is the chorus as is: These are the days that I'll treasure for life Right here, right now is forever Moments in time somehow captured in rhyme These are the days that will last Greetings, Yorick Title: Re: Can a native English/American speaker tell me if a sentence is correct English? Post by: Please delete my account on January 28, 2015, 12:58:13 PM Yes, that's completely correct and natural-sounding.
Title: Re: Can a native English/American speaker tell me if a sentence is correct English? Post by: Yorick on January 28, 2015, 01:04:00 PM Thanks for your input!
This is the complete chorus: These are the days that I'll treasure for life Right here, right now is forever Moments in time somehow captured in rhyme These are the days that will last Is that alright? Title: Post by: zachrwolfe on January 28, 2015, 01:19:17 PM
Title: Re: Can a native English/American speaker tell me if a sentence is correct English? Post by: Alan Smith on January 28, 2015, 10:32:19 PM You can leave out the "that" if you want.
"These are the days I'll treasure for life" Either way works. Title: Re: Can a native English/American speaker tell me if a sentence is correct English? Post by: RangeRoverA1 on February 20, 2015, 07:58:16 PM You can leave out the "that" if you want. No, only 1. If you leave off "that", the chorus won't sound right:"These are the days I'll treasure for life" Either way works. These are the days I'll treasure for life - 1st line Moments in time somehow captured in rhyme. - 3rd See? It needs "that". |