The Smiley Smile Message Board

http://www.collegehumor.com/post/6879826/20-terrible-songs-by-great-bands

Awww. "Smart Girls" is great fun. Nor do I agree with the Police and U2 entries. I do agree with "My Ding-A-Ling"----from one of rock's premier raconteurs too. Shame on you, Chuck!   

I love Brian to death, but Smart Girls is horrible and incredibly embarrassing, and one must put on fanboy goggles of the thickest variety to think otherwise. IMHO!

I am not at all objective about "Smart Girls."  It's just so damn funny to me - somewhere beyond irony...only Brian could get away with that one...seriously.

As usual, there are two( or more) POV's. Good stuff! 

Gotta disagree with The Who's Real Good Looking Boy being on the list. Great song with some brilliant lyrics, 'in this long line there's been some real strange genes, you got them all, with some extra's thrown in ". Smart Girls is alright in my book. Nothing amazing but pretty humorous.

Whoever compiled this list is an idiot.

'Smart Girls' is not a terrible song by a great band.

It's an unreleased song by a member of a great band.

HUGE difference.

I love Wonderful Christmastime  :-\

Despite what my signature might suggest, I think "Smart Girls" is horrendous and borderline misogynistic. The only real redeeming quality is the completely out-of-place samples, especially the "Good Vibrations" one, which are just barely enough to make this song a "so bad it's good" song instead of a plain awful one.

Also, couldn't they have picked a terrible song by the BBs themselves? Like Summer of Love? Or something else similarly awful? I don't get it.

I want to also think it's "unreleased", but the actual official promo cassettes that were made and sent out by Brian and Landy themselves would tend to make the released/unreleased question more of a grey area than outright "unreleased". This was a cassette that was professionally produced in a factory, along with a j-card insert. 

Good point!
 so, what would generally be the qualification for being released? 
  does being sent out as a promo( as this one was) count, or does it have to be made available for sale?
  what about widespread bootleg copies? 

It shouldn't count because Brian probably did not write it, or wrote it under the influence of Gene Landy if he did, and no doubt Landy had to write at least some of the lyrics. Not a good time in Brian's life and it sort of reduces the humor potential as well.

It shouldn't count as >what< specifically?

As far as I'm concerned, Smart Girls shoulda been at the very top of this list.  And I totally blame existence of this song on Landy.

 But does Brian Wilson count as a band?  I always thought it was fairly ridiculous and mostly cringing listening, but some like it,eh? 
Interesting the way the author highlights Brian's entry:
>>Suck Highlight: It is perhaps a bit unfair to totally lay into a man with such well-documented mental issues and drug addictions, but on the other hand, here is living, breathing proof that even our greatest songwriter ever  was capable of writing an ungodly piece of crap. DON'T YOU SEE HOW LIBERATING THAT IS??? Alas, even when sucking, Brian Wilson shows us the way.

"Smart Girls" was played on the Dr.Demento show back in the day, I remember hearing it on it very well, so technically it was "released" at least on the air waves..

I used to think of it that way, but what restores the humor to me is the fact that Brian is taking the piss out of the song. There's a certain thing he does with his voice when he thinks a song is sh*t or otherwise isn't feeling the song, and is different from a poor vocal like 'Fairy Tale'. Two other examples are 'The Waltz' and 'Speed Turtle'. It's like a vocal way of rolling his eyes at the material. I've always found that fascinating and rather cool. 'Oh, you want me to sing this? Heh heh.... suuuuuuurrrrrrrre '

I believe I've read that Brian himself mentioned the song in an interview at some point in the late 90s during the Imagination era, when asked about the unreleased Sweet Insanity material... and as I recall, he mentioned Smart Girls fondly. So I suppose maybe it's a late-era example of I'm Bugged at My Old Man, or Cassius Love vs. Sonny Wilson type humor. Even as a total goof, which I'm sure it is, I can't really get much enjoyment out of it, with the exception of looking at the WTF reactions of the handful of friends I've played it for!

Billy, a lot of us needed humor to get us through the Landy years.   Those unbelievable, unintentionally funny lyrics attributed to Alexandra Morgan offered a much-needed chuckle - and I'm not just talking about this song.  Brian has clearly remained himself through whatever adversity he was facing - that delightful, quirky charm-and-humor-thing that is unique to him comes through even the Landy stuff.  Good for him.

When I was finally able to take my Dad to see Brian perform after so many years, I was watching his face.  I said, "now you see why it was all worth it, don't you?"  He just chuckled, nodded and said, "Yeah."  My Dad couldn't resist him either, nor could my Mom who met him years earlier.  He's so frikkin' endearing, he could even do "Smart Girls."

Also, it was hard to take offense at the inclusion of the song on that list, given the comment, “…here is living, breathing proof that even our greatest songwriter ever was capable of writing an ungodly piece of crap. DON'TYOU SEE HOW LIBERATING THAT IS??? Alas, even when sucking, Brian Wilson shows us the way."  We all have our personal opinions of what sucks and what doesn't, and that gave me the impression that the writer would still go out and buy "No Pier Pressure," just like me.

I can just imagine the scenario at the time...

Gene: Brian, we've got to get hip to this rap thing.

Brian: I don't know, Gene...not too many harmonies in that stuff...not much "Love and Mercy," y'know what I mean?

Gene: But it's just exploding all over the place! They'll go bananas for this! Everyone will be talking about you if you do a rap song!

Brian: Hey, enough people talk about me already!

Gene: I'll buy you a new synthesizer and let you have steak twice a week instead of just once...

Brian: Well...can I have another date with Melinda?

Gene: That's it! Melinda's very sharp!

Brian: I know!

Gene: We'll call the track "Smart Girls"!!!

Brian: So...synth, steak and Melinda?

Gene: (grudgingly) Oh...OK.

Brian: Aw-RITE!!!

(after a brief pause) "Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee..."

Oh, and Gene? Let's let Alexandra get the credit for the lyrics, OK?? She's a smart girl too...

I like the alternate version where Brian re-sings all of the BB's samples. Would love to hear that in high quality one day.

Me too.

I totaly agree Debbie. Brian's sense of humor is one of my favorite things about him.

I never knew the song existed until 12 years ago when I bought a CD called "Endless Bummer: The Very Worst Of The Beach Boys" at a used record store in Worcester Massachusetts. I have to admit that I like the song, even though it's 'rap' (not a genre I'm into). It's quirky and funny. Not something I include on my mixes, but I'll put it on for a chuckle once in a while.

Michael--just out of curiosity, what else did they include on "The Very Worst"? (Forgive me, great board arbiters, for not searching the archives first before asking this question!!!)

google can be your friend: 
http://www.allmusic.com/album/endless-bummer-the-very-worst-of-the-beach-boys-mw0001897289

this is not a friend
u r very small
u can barely stand up to me
u can't play basketball

fer land sakes!

Thanks, bgas--after reading the track listing, looks as though I should have been even lazier than I was originally!!!  :3d

The worst part about smart girls is, at the end, you can actually hear Brian Wilson's soul dying when he says essentially at gunpoint: "SMART GIRLS, ARE AWESOME! DUDE!"

Not to worry, Ron.  Brian's soul has endured far more than most of us can imagine over his 72 years, and it's obviously still doing just fine.