The Smiley Smile Message Board

aka what the average Rolling Stone/Mojo/Uncut/etc. reader casual rock fan thinks/knows about the individual Beach Boys

Mike Love: he's THE VILLAIN. He killed SMiLE. He's jealous of Brian because Brian's a genius and Mike's a talentless butthole. He didn't do anything in the band except singing in an annoying voice. He shoulda been fired. Have you heard the song called "Kill Mike Love"? It rules, man! It's up on utube, check it out!

Brian: he's a genius. Unfortunately, after Mike Love killed SMiLE, he decided to stay in bed for four decades until he finally finished SMiLE a few years ago. He destroyed his voice. He's kinda weird cos he's a genius. He wrote Pet Sounds and SMiLE. He sang all the vocals on them cos the other guys hated his music.

Dennis: he was The Rebel! He hung out with Charlie Manson, maaan! Cool, huh? He wasn't a musician, he couldn't play the drums. He didn't play the drums on any of the Beach Boys' songs, some guy called Al Plain or sumptin' played the drums.

Carl: he ummmm... he was kinda like sorta fatty. He's no longer with us, unfortunately. Which sucks.

Alan, Bruce: they were ummmm.... they were in the band as well. What? They still are in the band? Cool.

It took Brian 12 (twelve) seconds to compose God Only Knows.

Any other reading of history is a blatant lie, concocted by Mike Love.

GOK is Sir Paul's favorite song.

According to Brian, Carl came up with every interesting idea to a song and was the other person in every memory.

...except 'Ding Dang', I hear.

"The Beach Boys were THE original boy band".

I died a little bit anytime that was mentioned, especially during the late 90s and into the early 2000s when N~Sync and others were big.

Brian's the Beach Boys. The others are his fuckin' messengers.

Brian Wilson was a genius until 1967. Then he went crazy one day and became a drooling idiot who has no idea what's going on around him.

In the 60s, the Beach Boys spent their free time surfing and riding around in cars.

The Beatles were cool; the Beach Boys were squares.

The Beach Boys were clean cut young men who never did drugs and completely missed out on what went on in the 60s. Nevertheless, some of them became drug casualties.

Those surfing songs were stupid bubblegum pop that lacked the cool sophistication of the Beatles.

"Ye I've heard there were some Wilson brothers, aren't they all dead? I thought the last one died in the 90s or something."

"Brian Wilson, wasn't he the guy who went nuts and fried his brain on drugs?"

Magazine/newspaper articles on drama in the BB's circle having headlines like "Bad Vibrations" or "Not So Fun, Fun, Fun".

Dennis was affectionately called "Buckwheat" by his bandmates.  ;)

It's all Mike Loves fault.