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Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
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Topic: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings) (Read 13383 times)
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Mr. Cohen
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Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
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on:
October 17, 2012, 01:25:06 AM »
Brian was no good in the sack. Let's think about it. His ex Marilyn basically said her and Brian stopped having sex regularly around '69 (how ironic, right?). Brian then has a dildo made at one point and parades with it around his kids, claiming he's not a real man. Later, he invites Tandyn Almer over to teach him how to properly please his wife, which involves Tandyn having actual sex with Marilyn. Eventually, in a desperate bid to sexually satisfy his wife, he even willingly (?) allows himself to be cuckolded by Marilyn with Rocky Pamplin. When Marilyn decides to leave Brian anyway, he's hurt and lashes out at Pamplin, but it's obvious Brian knew and consented to the arrangement for some time.
The fact that Brian felt most comfortable at 19 approaching girls way younger than him already reveals a deep-seated insecurity over his sexual prowess. The guy was likely a weak lover and rather submissive. He would sing lyrics about "eating up her wild honey" and "we'll fill the hours with things that both most like to do, spending a sweet Sunday lovin' you" (a clever reference to 69). Other songs would explore his difficulties with understanding and fulfilling woman. No wonder he was so jealous of Dennis! Now that was a real man!
On an unrelated note, Brian really was a punk rocker at heart in the '70s, and it's a shame no one around him could understand it. The way he was willing to rock out a single riff for almost an entire song was very much a punk thing. He'd lock into that one groove and just bleed his emotions. That's like something the Sex Pistols would do. But none of the Beach Boys could ever understand such a thing.
Well, that's it.
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runnersdialzero
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I WILL NEVER GO TO SCHOOL
Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
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Reply #1 on:
October 17, 2012, 02:15:49 AM »
Twice a day, every day, mother f*cker.
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Tell me it's okay.
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Mike's Beard
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Check your privilege. Love & Mercy guys!
Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
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Reply #2 on:
October 17, 2012, 02:22:20 AM »
Taking lots of cocaine can play havoc with your dick.
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I'd rather be forced to sleep with Caitlyn Jenner then ever have to listen to NPP again.
The Heartical Don
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Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
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Reply #3 on:
October 17, 2012, 02:49:24 AM »
I don't find this topic to be in good taste.
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jeffcdo
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Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
«
Reply #4 on:
October 17, 2012, 03:05:11 AM »
Moderators?? How is this post appropriate in ANY way?
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Cabinessenceking
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Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
«
Reply #5 on:
October 17, 2012, 03:06:15 AM »
Quote from: Murry on October 17, 2012, 01:25:06 AM
Brian was no good in the sack. Let's think about it. His ex Marilyn basically said her and Brian stopped having sex regularly around '69 (how ironic, right?). Brian then has a dildo made at one point and parades with it around his kids, claiming he's not a real man. Later, he invites Tandyn Almer over to teach him how to properly please his wife, which involves Tandyn having actual sex with Marilyn. Eventually, in a desperate bid to sexually satisfy his wife, he even willingly (?) allows himself to be cuckolded by Marilyn with Rocky Pamplin. When Marilyn decides to leave Brian anyway, he's hurt and lashes out at Pamplin, but it's obvious Brian knew and consented to the arrangement for some time.
The fact that Brian felt most comfortable at 19 approaching girls way younger than him already reveals a deep-seated insecurity over his sexual prowess. The guy was likely a weak lover and rather submissive. He would sing lyrics about "eating up her wild honey" and "we'll fill the hours with things that both most like to do, spending a sweet Sunday lovin' you" (a clever reference to 69). Other songs would explore his difficulties with understanding and fulfilling woman. No wonder he was so jealous of Dennis! Now that was a real man!
On an unrelated note, Brian really was a punk rocker at heart in the '70s, and it's a shame no one around him could understand it. The way he was willing to rock out a single riff for almost an entire song was very much a punk thing. He'd lock into that one groove and just bleed his emotions. That's like something the Sex Pistols would do. But none of the Beach Boys could ever understand such a thing.
Well, that's it.
weird topic, and very insensitive, but since it was allowed...
Imo Brian made some of the best riffs ever. Even his songs which were just enless riffs like Shortenin' Bread and Mona were very rockin'. I didn't know that about Brian and Marilyn. I thought it didnt go downhill between them before 74 when he went over the precipice...
«
Last Edit: October 17, 2012, 03:07:06 AM by Cabinessenceking
»
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hypehat
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Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
«
Reply #6 on:
October 17, 2012, 03:16:30 AM »
Incredible post, but -
Quote from: runnersdialzero on October 17, 2012, 02:15:49 AM
Twice a day, every day, mother f***er.
*drops mic*
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Quote from: ontor pertawst on October 06, 2012, 06:05:25 PM
All roads lead to Kokomo. Exhaustive research in time travel has conclusively proven that there is no alternate universe WITHOUT Kokomo. It would've happened regardless.
Quote from: Andrew G. Doe on May 15, 2012, 12:33:42 PM
What is this "life" thing you speak of ?
Quote from: Al Jardine
Syncopate it? In front of all these people?!
Lowbacca
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please let me wonder
Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
«
Reply #7 on:
October 17, 2012, 03:36:49 AM »
Quote from: Murry on October 17, 2012, 01:25:06 AM
On an unrelated note, Brian really was a punk rocker at heart in the '70s, and it's a shame no one around him could understand it. The way he was willing to rock out a single riff for almost an entire song was very much a punk thing. He'd lock into that one groove and just bleed his emotions. That's like something the Sex Pistols would do. But none of the Beach Boys could ever understand such a thing.
THAT is quite on the money, I think.
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cablegeddon
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Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
«
Reply #8 on:
October 17, 2012, 03:42:46 AM »
Since when is sex about pleasing women? It's about getting laid brother.
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Brian Wilson fan since august 2011
The Shift
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Biding time
Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
«
Reply #9 on:
October 17, 2012, 03:47:17 AM »
It's obviously not about the music for Murry, eh?
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“We live in divisive times.”
Mr. Cohen
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Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
«
Reply #10 on:
October 17, 2012, 04:02:43 AM »
It is quite inappropriate. I thought it would be interesting to explore the boundaries of idolization, voyeurism, obsession, and celebrity. After all, is it appropriate to analyze Brian or Mike's lives the way we do? When does it actually go too far? Somehow, I know all of these facts, thanks I'm sire to published books and this message board. So there you go. If it's all information many here are aware of, what does it really matter if someone types it out in one space like I just did?
«
Last Edit: October 17, 2012, 04:04:58 AM by Murry
»
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Lowbacca
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please let me wonder
Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
«
Reply #11 on:
October 17, 2012, 04:06:45 AM »
Quote from: Murry on October 17, 2012, 04:02:43 AM
It is quite inappropriate. I thought it would be interesting to explore the boundaries of idolization, voyeurism, obsession, and celebrity.
Like... this..? Yeah, right.
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Mr. Cohen
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Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
«
Reply #12 on:
October 17, 2012, 04:17:09 AM »
Sure, it just popped into my head, so I did it. Of course, you'd have to have some interest in sexual psychology to think up something like that, which I do. I can say with 99.99% certainty that everything I wrote (except the topic title) has been posted here before.
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The Heartical Don
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Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
«
Reply #13 on:
October 17, 2012, 04:31:02 AM »
Quote from: Murry on October 17, 2012, 04:17:09 AM
Sure, it just popped into my head, so I did it. Of course, you'd have to have some interest in sexual psychology to think up something like that, which I do. I can say with 99.99% certainty that everything I wrote (except the topic title) has been posted here before.
Dear Murry -
I am certain all of us have some interest in sexual psychology. That does not mean that all of us feel inclined to post something like you just did. Even if (a major) part of it is out there - we may feel that refraining from doing it may be the best way to go.
I am against censorship, and for freedom of speech. I am also for being modest and courteous. These things go hand in hand, IMHO.
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Mr. Cohen
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Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
«
Reply #14 on:
October 17, 2012, 04:38:13 AM »
I suppose modest and courteous in your case means whispering dirty rumors when enough heads are turned rather than announcing it out loud all at once. Or have you always gotten upset when Brian's personal life was invaded in some way?
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The Heartical Don
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Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
«
Reply #15 on:
October 17, 2012, 04:43:29 AM »
Quote from: Murry on October 17, 2012, 04:38:13 AM
I suppose modest and courteous in your case means whispering dirty rumors when enough heads are turned rather than announcing it out loud all at once. Or have you always gotten upset when Brian's personal life was invaded in some way?
That is a pretty mean-spirited allegation towards me, mr Murry.
I have no further comments.
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hypehat
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Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
«
Reply #16 on:
October 17, 2012, 04:57:38 AM »
It's hard to know what you're getting out of this besides the opportunity to be a massive twat, Murry.
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Quote from: ontor pertawst on October 06, 2012, 06:05:25 PM
All roads lead to Kokomo. Exhaustive research in time travel has conclusively proven that there is no alternate universe WITHOUT Kokomo. It would've happened regardless.
Quote from: Andrew G. Doe on May 15, 2012, 12:33:42 PM
What is this "life" thing you speak of ?
Quote from: Al Jardine
Syncopate it? In front of all these people?!
The Shift
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Biding time
Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
«
Reply #17 on:
October 17, 2012, 05:39:25 AM »
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“We live in divisive times.”
Al Jardine: Pick Up Artist
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I am an asexual walrus
Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
«
Reply #18 on:
October 17, 2012, 06:25:02 AM »
oh my god I can't stop laughing
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Quote from: Bubba Ho-Tep on March 09, 2013, 04:59:49 PM
Which song: Inappropriate relationship with sister-in-law
Which song: Gonna straight up bang you with "the wood".
Which song: Weather conditions make me horny
Which song: Lack of proper shoes leads to potential blood poisoning and death.
Which song: Who needs church? Let's do it on the couch.
Quote from: Don Malcolm on May 30, 2013, 07:35:10 PM
Dennis: "Holy sh*t, Al, you're finally showing signs of developing facial hair!!!"
♩♬🐸 Billy C ♯♫♩🐇
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Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
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Reply #19 on:
October 17, 2012, 08:29:44 AM »
I...don't even know how to respond to this.
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EgoHanger1966
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Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
«
Reply #20 on:
October 17, 2012, 08:38:53 AM »
I doubt it. He had his own sex chamber.
http://neonbrown.bandcamp.com/track/brian-wilsons-sex-chamber
Maybe the wierdest thread topic, ever, though.
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Brian: "Don't say puss."
♩♬🐸 Billy C ♯♫♩🐇
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Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
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Reply #21 on:
October 17, 2012, 08:39:59 AM »
I wasn't expecting a song out of that link
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Aegir
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Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
«
Reply #22 on:
October 18, 2012, 12:18:44 AM »
Quote from: Murry on October 17, 2012, 01:25:06 AM
The guy was likely a weak lover and rather submissive. He would sing lyrics about "eating up her wild honey" and "we'll fill the hours with things that both most like to do, spending a sweet Sunday lovin' you" (a clever reference to 69). Other songs would explore his difficulties with understanding and fulfilling woman. No wonder he was so jealous of Dennis! Now that was a real man!
what does going down on a girl have to do with being a weak lover?
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Quote from: runnersdialzero on April 05, 2012, 06:08:41 PM
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Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
«
Reply #23 on:
October 19, 2012, 02:11:32 AM »
Quote from: Aegir on October 18, 2012, 12:18:44 AM
Quote from: Murry on October 17, 2012, 01:25:06 AM
The guy was likely a weak lover and rather submissive. He would sing lyrics about "eating up her wild honey" and "we'll fill the hours with things that both most like to do, spending a sweet Sunday lovin' you" (a clever reference to 69). Other songs would explore his difficulties with understanding and fulfilling woman. No wonder he was so jealous of Dennis! Now that was a real man!
what does going down on a girl have to do with being a weak lover?
Good question!
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Paulos
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Re: Brian was no good in the sack (and other musings)
«
Reply #24 on:
October 20, 2012, 11:48:09 AM »
Quote from: Mike Eder on October 19, 2012, 02:11:32 AM
Quote from: Aegir on October 18, 2012, 12:18:44 AM
Quote from: Murry on October 17, 2012, 01:25:06 AM
The guy was likely a weak lover and rather submissive. He would sing lyrics about "eating up her wild honey" and "we'll fill the hours with things that both most like to do, spending a sweet Sunday lovin' you" (a clever reference to 69). Other songs would explore his difficulties with understanding and fulfilling woman. No wonder he was so jealous of Dennis! Now that was a real man!
what does going down on a girl have to do with being a weak lover?
Good question!
How has no-one mentioned Goin' South yet!
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