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Author Topic: NEWS FLASH - JOSH HOISINGTON/AEIJTZCHE ATTACKED!!!  (Read 6682 times)
Alan Boyd
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« on: August 18, 2006, 01:33:52 PM »
SMILEY'S AEIJTZCHE ATTACKED BY INTERNAL TERRORIST

By Cletus Tidewater
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BEACH BOY LAND, California:  Smiley Smile Message Board Co-Moderator and Apprentice BB/BPG Vault Rat JOSH HOISINGTON was savagely attacked Tuesday by an errant and functionally obsolete internal organ.  Injuries incurred in the attack were severe; Hoisington has undergone emergency surgery to remove the offending marauder, identified by authorities as "Appendix A,"  and described by antibiotic squad specialists as a "one-unit terrorist sleeper cell hell-bent on complete annihilation of the host nation/body."

Hospital staff indicates that Hoisington is expected to make a full and complete recovery, and that as of Friday morning he is sufficiently well enough to consume yogurt and watch daytime television.

Reached for comment, Beach Boy-Land spokesperson Trisha Campo issued the following statement:

"This deliberate and unprovoked attack on our beloved Josh took us all completely by surprise, but thanks to the heroic and courageous efforts of our men and women in tacky green hospital gowns, and the loving support of his famliy and his roommates Andy and Katie, it appears that Josh is out of danger and will be back with us soon.  This unfortunate episode only serves to underscore our need to remain vigilant against those evil forces who would seek to halt our ongoing march to spread the message and light of wholesome, positive American Beach Boy music to all corners of a cyber-world that's currently in the grips of darkness, confusion, irony, and hip-hop."
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Cam Mott
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« Reply #1 on: August 18, 2006, 01:43:04 PM »
Dang, H will do anything to get to consume yogurt and watch daytime television.

Thanks, Cletus.
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"Bring me the head of Carmen Sandiego" Lynne "The Chief" Thigpen
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« Reply #2 on: August 18, 2006, 02:40:55 PM »
That doesn't sound very good. My english isn't good enough to understand all of it, but I hope Josh will be healthy soon ! All my best wishes !
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« Reply #3 on: August 18, 2006, 03:01:31 PM »
Oh...his appenidix...jeez...I thought he was mugged.
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« Reply #4 on: August 18, 2006, 04:09:21 PM »
Here's hoping for a speedy recovery!
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« Reply #5 on: August 18, 2006, 04:24:32 PM »
If you guys/gals want to leave messages for him I'm sure Alan or I can pass them along.


*edit* Nice story Alan  LOL
« Last Edit: August 18, 2006, 04:27:15 PM by andy » Logged
Jeff Mason
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« Reply #6 on: August 18, 2006, 04:47:50 PM »
Yeah, but what kind of insurance do you provide him, that's the question....

 Grin
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« Reply #7 on: August 18, 2006, 05:02:53 PM »
Good . . . All must be well for forthcoming tune-age !

M.
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« Reply #8 on: August 18, 2006, 08:07:36 PM »
I'm so fucking confused.
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Jonas
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« Reply #9 on: August 18, 2006, 09:25:01 PM »
who?
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« Reply #10 on: August 19, 2006, 11:13:10 AM »
Get well, get well soon. Get well, get well soon.
Get well, get well soon. Get well, get well soon.
Get well, get well soon. Get well, get well, get well soon.
Get well. Get well. Get well. Get well.
I want you to feel better.
I want you to feel better. I want you to feel better.
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« Reply #11 on: August 19, 2006, 11:43:56 AM »
Josh, we will all be sending good vibrations to you and your organs and any bodily hairs that may have fallen to the surgeon's razor.  Get well, and in the meantime, enjoy the medication!  That's the way television's daytime dramas were meant to be experienced!

Best always (and Ringo never),

Your pals at the board
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« Reply #12 on: August 19, 2006, 11:52:49 AM »
Get well, Josh!!!
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« Reply #13 on: August 19, 2006, 12:56:08 PM »
Could this be the result of long festering bacteria on moldy 40 year tapes, aerosolized by a tape recorder's play head and inhaled by an unsuspecting Josh, hypnotized into a state of higher consciousness by some unheard Smile outtake?

Here's hoping for a speedy recovery!
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Lola Jane
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« Reply #14 on: August 19, 2006, 01:31:29 PM »
Nasty appendix!! Bad appendix!!!  To the incinerator with you.
Luckily I still have all my body parts, but I've seen appendicitis up close - and it ain't pretty!! Undecided
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Joshilyn Hoisington
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« Reply #15 on: August 19, 2006, 01:33:56 PM »
thanks everybody.  I'm back at home recovering now, after a much, much longer hospital stay than I was expecting.  Turns out emergency medium surgery is kind of a big deal.  And please, if you ever have a stomachache that seems even the slightest bit unusual, go get it checked out before you need emergency surgery.

I just had this minor unsettled stomach late sunday, but monday it had turned into fullscale pain and tuesday it became clear that it was not a passing illness and I went to the ER on tuesday night and ended up having the surgery pretty much right away.  And was finally discharged friday evening.

So it's been quite a week.
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« Reply #16 on: August 19, 2006, 04:30:54 PM »
Glad to hear you are on the road to recovery, Josh.  Spending any time in a hospital is no fun, let alone most of the week.
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« Reply #17 on: August 21, 2006, 10:48:29 AM »
Get well soon, Josh!  Sounds like the worst is over....best wishes, and hope there is no appendix "B"!



Dan
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Bob Hanes
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« Reply #18 on: August 22, 2006, 11:53:02 AM »
glad you're "feeling much better now"!
Peritonitis (sp?) is no day at the beach. :-) 
     
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« Reply #19 on: August 22, 2006, 02:10:31 PM »
Here's hoping for a swift recovery, Josh!
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Paul R.
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« Reply #20 on: August 22, 2006, 05:51:44 PM »
Amen! Now, quick, get back to work and find those missing Smile tracks!!
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