Would Brian Really Have Freaked When The Power Went Out?

[GuyOnTheBeach]

I was watching the "Beautiful Dreamer" doc again the other day and I ended up the same way that I always do, questioning if Brian would really have freaked out when the power went out when the band started rehearsing "Mrs. O'Leary's Cow" (Fire), someone (I think Jeff) said something along the lines of "It's a good thing Brian wasn't here".

Now I know that Brian had some concerns about SMiLE even in 2003, but personally I think by then he was a rational enough man to not be reduced to a gibbering wreck in that situation, sure he may have been a little spooked, but who wouldn't?

Now, I don't object to what was said, I don't believe that it was meant in any offensive context, but I always wondered about "what if.."

Incidentally, I take it that Brian eventually found out about this, does anyone know how he reacted?

[EgoHanger1966]

He thought his fire music was the cause of a building burning down. So, yeah, it would be understandable.

[GuyOnTheBeach]

He thought his fire music was the cause of a building burning down. So, yeah, it would be understandable.

I'm not so sure, yeah in 1967 he was affected by it, but I think he was in a much more rational state of mind by 2003

[Cam Mott]

I think he was just superstitious.

[Mikie]

Superstitious and smoking a lotta pot and hash.  Paranoia, big destroya.

[♩♬🐸 Billy C ♯♫♩🐇]

I have a feeling he would've said 'motherfucker', shook his head, then laughed. I think though it depends on what kind of mood he was in.

[KittyKat]

Didn't Brian wind up in an emergency room with a panic attack from listening to old Smile tapes while working on BWPS, according to Darian?

[Al Jardine: Pick Up Artist]

Didn't Brian wind up in an emergency room with a panic attack from listening to old Smile tapes while working on BWPS, according to Darian?

yup

[Andrew G. Doe]

Didn't Brian wind up in an emergency room with a panic attack from listening to old Smile tapes while working on BWPS, according to Darian?

yup

You left out the second part of that scenario: Melinda was informed, drove to the hospital and told Brian dinner was ready, whereupon he jumped off the gurney and high-tailed it to the car.   

[Cabinessenceking]

Didn't Brian wind up in an emergency room with a panic attack from listening to old Smile tapes while working on BWPS, according to Darian?

yup

You left out the second part of that scenario: Melinda was informed, drove to the hospital and told Brian dinner was ready, whereupon he jumped off the gurney and high-tailed it to the car.   

so really Melinda saved Smile by offering steak at the right time?

[The Shift]

Was the power outage genuine, or staged?  Easier, after all, and cheaper than having the studio engulfed by flames, Scott, Nicky and Jimmy burned aline and THEN having Jeff say: "good job Brian wasn't here."

[Andrew G. Doe]

Was the power outage genuine, or staged?  Easier, after all, and cheaper than having the studio engulfed by flames, Scott, Nicky and Jimmy burned aline and THEN having Jeff say: "good job Brian wasn't here."

Given the creative editing present in other parts of the DVD, there has to be a suspicion.

[hypehat]

Creative editing, sure, but Brian obviously was in a major funk at the first few rehearsals. Kinda amazed they would show BW yawning his way through vocal rehearsal and alternately looking like a man on death row during this huge piece of PR. then again, it is a nice narrative will he/won't he thing.

[hypehat]

Also, Brian did actually have an episode with Darian during the preparation - not mentioned in the doc, but a Darian interview mentions it iirc

[Andrew G. Doe]

Creative editing, sure, but Brian obviously was in a major funk at the first few rehearsals. Kinda amazed they would show BW yawning his way through vocal rehearsal and alternately looking like a man on death row during this huge piece of PR. then again, it is a nice narrative will he/won't he thing.

Exactly - the fight against adversity to the happy ending. But ask yourself... if the BWPS hand't been so astonishingly successful, if Brian had not come out after the interval*, or bailed on the project completely, would there have been a documentary at all, much less one that showed BW in an apparently unflattering light ?

[* backstage after the first night I asked if there was a contingency plan in the event of Brian pulling a no-show. "Sure", was the reply, "we'd start and keep playing until he came out". But what if he didn't ? Broad grin. "Oh, we'd just do it anyway and figured you'd all understand".]

[hypehat]

Creative editing, sure, but Brian obviously was in a major funk at the first few rehearsals. Kinda amazed they would show BW yawning his way through vocal rehearsal and alternately looking like a man on death row during this huge piece of PR. then again, it is a nice narrative will he/won't he thing.

Exactly - the fight against adversity to the happy ending. But ask yourself... if the BWPS hand't been so astonishingly successful, if Brian had not come out after the interval*, or bailed on the project completely, would there have been a documentary at all, much less one that showed BW in an apparently unflattering light ?

[* backstage after the first night I asked if there was a contingency plan in the event of Brian pulling a no-show. "Sure", was the reply, "we'd start and keep playing until he came out". But what if he didn't ? Broad grin. "Oh, we'd just do it anyway and figured you'd all understand".]

IIRC, that's ALWAYS been the contingency! 

[KittyKat]

The episode with Darian counts as a freak-out even if he did recover. I think Jeff's point was that Brian still does freak out from time to time, albeit in a milder, neurotic Woody Allen type of fashion than the type of full-on freak-outs he had during the first Smile.  The people in his circle have to be a little cautious in the way they deal with Brian at times, I'm sure.

[Dunderhead]

I'm never, ever still. Always in turmoil, you know? Hoping that somebody will save me, or that someone will come along and save my life, or save my day. That the world won't blow up, the universe won't explode. We'll never have each other again you know.

I think that quote basically lays Brian's entire psychology bare. We've muddied the waters when it comes to discussing the nature of his illness, and 'break downs' and 'freak outs' and the like are thrown out a little carelessly in my opinion.

The way I see it, Brian simply has a problem with agency. He doesn't like confrontation, he doesn't feel comfortable standing up for himself or telling others explicitly how he feels about something. He's always waiting for some twist of fate, or coincidence, or change of fortune, or divine intervention to sweep his problems away for him, which is why he's such a fatalist and believes in astrology and other "systems" of life.

Brian at times just seems to get into a groove that he isn't strong enough to break out of, he'll go along with a plan, say yes the whole time through hoping that he'll just be able to take the next exit off the freeway when it comes up, but he just doesn't have the nerve for that. The pressure builds and builds and in his mind things become more and more desperate until he, psychologically, only has one way out, to have an anxiety or panic attack. That's really his only release valve.

So I don't believe that Brian is having this panic attacks exactly for the reasons we tend to say that he does. I don't see it as being something that's so delusional and truly "insane" in a classical sense, but rather something that comes about more from his inability or unwillingness to cope with everyday stress.   

[Gohi]

Also, Brian did actually have an episode with Darian during the preparation - not mentioned in the doc, but a Darian interview mentions it iirc

I want to read about this if you have a link. 

[EgoHanger1966]

Also, Brian did actually have an episode with Darian during the preparation - not mentioned in the doc, but a Darian interview mentions it iirc

I want to read about this if you have a link. 

It isn't a pretty read, but....it's in here:

http://www.crutchfield.com/S-yjbi1x5dj1J/learn/reviews/20041102/brian_wilson_smile.html

[onkster]

Not any more, it ain't.

[EgoHanger1966]

Not any more, it ain't.

Sure it is....from the above article:

"
As we took it a song at a time, I'd reassure him that all we were trying to do was to perform the songs. I'd say "you know the band man, we all love you and will do whatever it takes to make this stuff sound great. Brian, I know we can do it." And he'd say "Really? Really?" Because I knew we could do it, but if he didn't want to do it, then we ain't doin' it. So, I was trying to find a way of reassuring him that it can be done.
 
Once I started putting band members to the different sounds, saying "Paul [Mertens] could play this part and Bob [Lizik] will do this on the bass," then he would start thinking about it in a more modern context. Then when Van Dyke got into the fold, it was great because it became a whole new experience. They were on this creative roll.
 
We worked for a few weeks. They would have ideas and I'd jot them down or have them recorded on my camcorder. At the end of the day, I'd go home to my keyboard and lay down the sounds and sing the parts. Then when they would have newer ideas, like when they talked about a segue between two songs and how that was going to happen, my job was to get on the keyboard and record those ideas. Then I would bring them back the next day and present it to them. It was something tangible that they could listen to, we could critique, or say "that is one bar too long." That whole period was great. You can see that in the movie; Brian would say, "yeah, this is blowing my mind." He was on a high and he was really into it.
 
Then we stopped for the holiday break and the next time I saw Brian, he was a mess. I came over with a stack of lyrics so he and I could sit down and start actually going through the lead vocal parts that he would have to perform and he was not happening. I remember him shaking and he sat down and he started crying and yelling "I'm f@#$%! I'm f@#$%!"
 
I had seen this through cracked doors, but this was the first time it was just him and me. Melinda was off at a meeting and he was really freaking out. So, I said "OK Brian, let's just try and listen to some of this," and he said "OK. OK. OK."
 
We made it through maybe three songs and in the middle of the song he hurled the lyric sheet all the way across the room and screamed, "AHHHHHHH!!!" Lindsay, it was scary. I mean really scary. I ran down to the housekeeper who was familiar with this stuff happening. She knew it was for real and he was begging her to take him to the hospital and we are still trying to call Melinda. I didn't know what to do and tried to be a calming force. At one point I heard him yelling to me from the other room "Darian! Darian! They are trying to kill me! They are trying to kill me!"
 
I thought, "maybe until Melinda gets home, I can just sit with him and talk." He was asking me all sorts of questions and he was just scared. He'd say, "Have you ever dropped acid? Do you take drugs? How do you deal with that?" He'd describe this feeling in his chest that he can't get rid of. Man, that was really scary. And then we had to start rehearsing within the next week with the band, mainly the vocalists. That is some of what you see in the film.
 
I found out later that that incident was part of his seasonal depression, especially now that he is the last Wilson [of his generation] standing. His mom, dad, brothers are all gone. There was that and then there was the reality that we had to do SMiLE for real. There was a concert date set and we have to do this. All that stuff that happened with Van Dyke in the fall when he was in the moment and it was cool and he was happy, well that was gone. It was now time to do this and it was rough. He'd just sit there and it was like we were working without a head. The head was not attached to the body."

[FatherOfTheMan Sr101]

Hard to read. Brian deserves better, hell Darian deserves better.
Every time I read more and more into BWPS, I learn more and more about Darian's work with the project,
and I find that my conversation with Darian might have meant something to him.

I had him a short conversation about smile and the mints and when I asked him to sign my original H&V 45 he said "Oh I can't sign this..., I wasn't part of that"
and I told him it was a smile thing (the story of releasing the 45 and the radio station marking the end of the "real" smile sessions) and that I wanted to get everyone
involved with Smile to sign it and I said "well, anyone who know the story will agree that you mean more to the overall project then some of the Beach Boys did."

I honestly think, now more then ever, that we wouldn't have BWPS or TSS without Darian and the band, so I feel good for letting him know I appreciate his work (which as we can see, was rough!)

[GuyOnTheBeach]

Wow, that's a difficult read. I'm (and I'm sure we all are) glad that that Brian persevered, and I think the finished product is made somewhat more special when this uphill struggle for Brian against his demons is taken into consideration.

I think that Darian is one of the best collaborators that Brian has had, not only do they work well on an artistic level, but Darian also knows when Brian is uncomfortable or unwilling to do something (which as previously mentioned, is not something that Brian always makes explicitly obvious). I think Brian knows and probably respects this which is how stuff like BWPS came to fruition, I think with a lesser collaborator Brian would have said "f*ck it" and we'd either have more SMiLE related bootlegs floating around of it would just be another of those "Hey, remember when Brian was talking about revisiting SMiLE?, I wondered what happened to that".
Also notice the vocal improvements between pre and post BWPS Brian?, I know he has had extensive coaching with his voice, but I'm wondering how much it's to do with the fact that Brian revisited that era, beat the demons tied up with it all and found a certain degree of peace with the whole thing and became more willing to take slight creative risks again.

[Iron Horse-Apples]

So, for me that first show was more about vindication for Van Dyke than for Brian. Although it was historical, it was actually the second night I think that did it for Brian. He seemed to feel like he was ready to connect with what was happening and not just make it through the show. I could tell during that second show he'd reached the mountain peak and was looking at the valley on the other side and he was enjoying the view.

Then at the end, the standing ovation was indescribable. I had never seen anything like it as an audience member or a performer. I'd never seen just an outpouring of love and people clapping. It wasn't the kind of applause where people keep clapping as they look around feeling obligated to. They wouldn't let him speak or say anything. He'd try to say something, but they wouldn't let him. It seemed to go on forever. It was amazing and he looked over at us as if to say, "What do I do?"

That was the look on his face that second night. He loved the audience reaction, but I don't know how to handle it. I don't know how to take this. I saw in that moment when they were applauding and he was just taking it in, that is the moment I knew the demons were floating away from him. I stepped up to him and said, "Uh, Brian. . . I think they like SMiLE." From there each show got easier and it became like "Hi! I'm Brian Wilson, I wrote SMiLE. Check this music out!"

That brought tears to my eyes remembering. I was in the front row, feet away from Brian, and it was amazing to be part of that standing ovation. A lot has been said about how that was a cathartic moment for Brian. If it's true, then what an honour to be part of that.

My favourite version of Smile is not TSS, or BWPS, it's my recording of that night. I always let it play right through to the last clap. All versions of Smile should have 10 minutes of clapping at the end. The music warrants it.