I Hear Whispers From Below - Original Song/Work in Progress

[Mendota Heights]

UPDATE May 29th, 2013 - NEW BACKING TRACK, PLEASE SEE POST BELOW.






Hello, there.

I can see there is a lot of talent here, so to balance things out a bit I've decided to post a composition I've written. I wrote the melody, the words and I sing the whole thing (I do unfortunately not sound as good as other people here). This is not the final recording though, it will sound better in a few weeks when it is finished and when I have re-recorded my vocals. A friend of mine from the US plays all of the instruments, kudos to him for being so helpful.  

Here is the link: http://soundcloud.com/swedish-frog/i-hear-whispers-from-below

Any feedback is welcome.   I really like the chorus.
 

[hypehat]

Really reminds me of The Lemonheads, or something! Not bad, I can't make out some of the words, though - how are you recording it? It sounds like you're singing it the phone or something, is it just your computer mic? And give your mate props for the track too. 

[Mendota Heights]

Really reminds me of The Lemonheads, or something! Not bad, I can't make out some of the words, though - how are you recording it? It sounds like you're singing it the phone or something, is it just your computer mic? And give your mate props for the track too.  

Thanks for your comments, yeah I just used the built-in mic. I will record my vocals again today, my friend will use autotune on me to make it sound better.

Here are the words:

I hear whispers from below
Things I didn't know beforehand
Made me honor poverty and cold
When the dead arrive I will salute them too

She's so sleepy on the bed
I don't even know her name
We are friends it's just a deal we've made
The thing about her name that's not the only deal we've made

Chorus
We reap what we sow
She harbors my own vessel in her own
And so it goes on
We're almost young and soulmates touching in the dark [a Brian Wilson reference]
She wrote a letter, signed it "Joan of Arc"

Let heaven falter one more time
Like it did in '61
God only knows what I left behind [a Beach Boys reference]
A greater understanding of life

I wonder are you tired yet
The sun will rise and then it sets
On the hill where blood has soiled the faith
Where mothers found their graves, where children climbed down a well

Chorus x 2

Tag

[rab2591]

Really like it - Hypehat's right though, the vocals are a bit unintelligible, but following along with the lyrics you posted it's really a great song! Looking forward to your new recording.

[kwan_dk]

Well, the backing track certainly sounds very professional so there's definately a clash between the music and the very crude vocal recording. Give us a heads-up when a version with better recorded vocals is available.

Personally, I think the song would improve a lot if the tempo was increased, but I don't know if this would fit well with the current lyrics. Just a suggestion.

[Mendota Heights]

Thanks everybody for your feedback. Last weekend I recorded new vocals using a better microphone, I hope my vocals came out alright. The best thing is I persuaded a girl I know to do some of the vocals, she is a real singer and this will make the song much better. I'll see her in a few weeks.

Do you think the lyrics are good enough? English is not my first language so it is kinda hard for me to tell.

[Mendota Heights]

It's been more than a year, but here is the new backing track for my soon to be finished song called I Hear Whispers From Below:

https://soundcloud.com/swedish-frog/i-hear-whispers-from-below-1

Enjoy!