Worst Beach Boys Lyrics?

[Pinder's Gone To Kokomo And Back Again]

Brian's vocal on that is soooooo good and the song would have perfectly suited and could have been a hit for some other "happening" soft-rock band of the time.... Just listen to the killer repeating guitar lick that comes in near the fade.

I adore this song, stupid lyrics and all.

[Jesse Reiswig]

I'm with you Erik. I still love the song too, ridiculous lyrics and all, and think the recording is fantastically arranged. It's just that, from an objective point of view, I can appreciate that the lyrics are really really dumb, even though from a subjective point I might choose to ignore them and not care.

[MBE]

Love You (with perhaps two or three exceptions) and Sweet Insanity win this by a landslide. A good performance ie "Good Time" can save a mediocre lyric but Love You and SI don't have many good performances. I Wanna Pick You Up, Solar System, Love Is A Woman, Brian, Smart Girls, Spirit Of Rock and Roll, these would not make me a fan if that's all I ever heard. Love You again has some good moments but SI is partiuclarly awful. 

[chrs_mrgn]

Still cruisin title track is pretty bad
Especially the bit about the greenhouse effect.

"Who wants to grow up who wants responsibility - not me"

"Toothpaste and soap will make our oceans a bubble bath" almost laughable whenever I hear it. Still a great song though.

[bgas]

Still cruisin title track is pretty bad
Especially the bit about the greenhouse effect.

"Who wants to grow up who wants responsibility - not me"

"Toothpaste and soap will make our oceans a bubble bath" almost laughable whenever I hear it. Still a great song though.

Now it's not the toothpaste and soap, but the Japanese radiation....

[Wah Wah Wah Ooooo]

for me it's "Summer of Love" and nothing else could even come remotely close to the awfulness of those lyrics. Not only worst lyrics, but worst song...not worst song of the Beach Boys, but just worst song. Ever.

[runnersdialzero]

"Toothpaste and soap will make our oceans a bubble bath" almost laughable whenever I hear it. Still a great song though.

Those lines coupled with Al's delivery is awesome. Love it.

[Gabo]

Long Promised Road's lyrics are horrible.

"So hard to lift the jeweled scepter when the weight turns a smile to a frown."

Jack Rieley was clearly trying to be psychedelic and mystical but fell flat on his face.

Also, Tears In The Morning has really bad lyrics just because they sound so force. I think Bruce was trying to put life into his monotonous melody, but, again, fell flat on his face.

"So you moved out up to Europe
You packed your warmth and you took your soul
Well I hope you do what you're damn sure of
A lonely bed here takes on the cold"

I also find many of Dennis Wilson's lyrics bad.  He tries to cram  the word "love" in his songs as many times as possible and the result is sickening.

I often compare Dennis's and Kenny G's music (Kenny G with a raspy voice is the usual metaphor) because of his greeting card lyrics and workmanlike melodies and progressions.

[OGoldin]

"Toothpaste and soap will make our oceans a bubble bath" almost laughable whenever I hear it. Still a great song though.

Those lines coupled with Al's delivery is awesome. Love it.

People forget what a lot of waterways were like before the Clean Water Act kicked in.  In 1971 the stream in the woods behind our house often reeked of sewage and really was full of foaming bubbles.  People are not kind to the ecological lyrics of Surf's Up -- they are criticized for being too earnest and forced, but at the time this was the reality and taking care of that reality was on the top of people's minds.  Today's ecological problems are more severe, but are also less in your face, more distant and are seemingly theoretical.

[Jim V.]

I was thinking about this recently, and I think I gotta say that "Funky Pretty" has the worst lyrics of any Wilson/Love composition from 1973 or earlier. Combining Mike's TM preoccupations with some Jack Rieley's worst quasi-mystical type stuff. And pre-'74 I'm a pretty big Mike Love fan, as well as a fan of Rieley's work with the band. But this one has some pretty wretched lyrics.

However, the music and melody and vocals are so great that it doesn't matter, in my opinion. A really great song despite horrible lyrics.

[bringahorseinhere?]

It's all a matter of opinion what makes for great lyrics...... I do like the corny 'tomboy' and 'roller skatin'....
here's one song I do not like...... I like the Wilson/paley track, but I think these lyrics are crap:

Desert Drive

Hop in, honey, sit right by my side
 I'm gonna take you on a little ride
 A desert drive…out where the cactus grow
 A desert drive…hey don't you wanna go?
 Gotta get crankin' now, goin' on a desert drive

 Throw on your sneakers, T-shirt and jeans
 Better take your shades in case the rays get mean
 A desert drive…we're gonna have some fun
 A desert drive…out where the coyotes run
 Gotta get crankin' now, goin' on a desert drive

 Gotta get crankin' now, gotta get movin' now
 Fasten your belt I'm takin' good care of you

 bridge:
 (C'mon) Let's get outta town
 (C'mon) Before the sun goes down
 We'll take the 5 to the 109
 We're gonna leave all our troubles behind

 Stopped in at Needles for a Mexican bite
 Twentynine Palms is where we're stayin' tonight
 A desert drive…we're gonna get some thrills
 A desert drive…out in the purple hills
 Gotta get crankin' now, goin' on a desert drive

 Gotta get crankin' now, gotta get movin' now
 Fasten your belt I'm takin' good care of you

 repeat chorus

 Destination Caesar's gonna catch Wayne's show
 Next stop the Nugget and we'll blow some dough
 A desert drive…the hottest spot in the world
 A desert drive…won't see no surfer girls

 Gotta get crankin' now, goin' on a desert drive

RickB

[Gabo]

I've never heard that song but oouuuuuuuuuuch

[chrs_mrgn]

"Toothpaste and soap will make our oceans a bubble bath" almost laughable whenever I hear it. Still a great song though.

Those lines coupled with Al's delivery is awesome. Love it.

People forget what a lot of waterways were like before the Clean Water Act kicked in.  In 1971 the stream in the woods behind our house often reeked of sewage and really was full of foaming bubbles.  People are not kind to the ecological lyrics of Surf's Up -- they are criticized for being too earnest and forced, but at the time this was the reality and taking care of that reality was on the top of people's minds.  Today's ecological problems are more severe, but are also less in your face, more distant and are seemingly theoretical.

Huh - interesting. May have to rethink that one. At least no one disagreed with me on Still Cruisin... Haha

[bluesno1fann]

one song I can think of is "Match Point".  A decent, above average song which was destroyed by the lyrics

[Sheriff John Stone]

A couple come to mind:

My Diane
California Feelin'
Waves Of Love

[Phoenix]

"Smart Girls", "Tears In The Morning", most of Love You, the opening couplet of "Don't Fight The Sea"...

Forget that it's one of your favorite bands.  Those are embarrassingly bad. 

[chrs_mrgn]

"Smart Girls", "Tears In The Morning", most of Love You, the opening couplet of "Don't Fight The Sea"...

Forget that it's one of your favorite bands.  Those are embarrassingly bad. 

I'm going to have to step up and defend smart girls. 



Ha kidding.

But really I'll defend tears in the morning I really don't see what is so bad about that song! What don't you like about the lyrics? Oh man and most of Love You?! You're killing me!

[Gabo]

At least the lyrics on Love You are inoffensively silly. That's preferable to the forced seriousness of the Rieley era

[Mike's Beard]

Bad lyrics? The Beach Boys had tons of them. Doesn't help that only one of them had a knack for writing great lyrics and he sorta fell off a cliff with his songwriting after the first decade.

Hey Little Tomboy - pervy.
Solar System - stupid, a five year old could come up with better.
Everybody Wants To Live - even more stupider, lyrics that literally don't make sense.
Be With Me - awkward, clunky lyrics.
Don't Go Near The Water - great song but a couple of lines are cringe worthy.
I'm So Lonely - Must have taken Brian and Landy a good 5 minutes to come up with these gems.
Got To Know The Woman - another 5 min job.

[Phoenix]

"Smart Girls", "Tears In The Morning", most of Love You, the opening couplet of "Don't Fight The Sea"...

Forget that it's one of your favorite bands.  Those are embarrassingly bad. 

But really I'll defend tears in the morning I really don't see what is so bad about that song! What don't you like about the lyrics? Oh man and most of Love You?! You're killing me!

"Tears In The Morning", as noted: 
So you moved out up to Europe, you packed your warmth and you took your soul
Well I hope you do what you're damn sure of, a lonely bed here takes on the cold

Neither of those rhymes actually rhyme.  I know it's only rock-n-roll and and more than willing to let things slide here and there but BOTH of the only rhymes in a whole verse, followed by another (albeit more common and forgivable) one in the following verse (together/forever) seems like Bruce was intentionally trying to push the boundaries.  (Take it easy, Bruce.  It IS only rock-n-roll. )   And while the latter rhyme in that next verse does actually rhyme, he puts it in the painfully awkward "baby I'm never gonna see" phrase.

Then Later another gem:
Well you know I lit a candle.  It's in my heart now where it glows
Day and night feel my light it's gonna stand till, My heart believes in what you chose

"Candle" and "stand till" feels like another forced "clever" rhyme and Jeez Louise, Bruce. We know you like the saccharine style but no one can truly relate to those lyrics because NO ONE talks that way.  And THAT goes for pretty much the entire song.  The performance and production barely save the track but the lyrics sound like a school kid's writing assignment.


And come on.  Love you?    Don't even get me started.  Again, I think some fans are WAY too forgiving with the childlike childish lyrics because of Brian's state at the time.  But like it or not, it wasn't private therapeutic writing assignments.  It was a major label release by a MAJOR recording act. I got it early in my foray into Beach Boys fandom (Endless Summer > Spirit Of America > In Concert > Good Vibration/Great Concert! > Love You) and it put me off the band for YEARS and it wasn't because of the voices! In hindsight I wouldn't be surprised if the band KNEW it was crap and allowed Brian the therapeutic indulgence since they knew they were done with Reprise.  (I know it's bad business sense to release something you know is bad but this band ain't exactly known for always making the best decisions. )

"Johnny Carson", "Solar System", "Ding, Dang", "Mona", "Honkin' Down The Gosh Darn Highway"...  The list goes on.  To paraphrase Pinder, If Justin Beiber or the Jonas Brothers did a cover of Love You would people around here praise it for its inoffensively silly, innocent lyrics or would we call them out for saying cars look like dots from the inside of an airplane?

[Mike's Beard]

Can't disagree with you. Most of the lyrics for Love You are horrific.

[Phoenix]

Can't disagree with you. Most of the lyrics for Love You are horrific.

Drinks are on me!     

[Iron Horse-Apples]

I'm going to say Pom Pom Play Girl.

Harmonically one of their most complex classic period songs, yet hardly ever mentioned.

Why? The lyrics.

Personally I have nothing against them, and can disregard them and just enjoy the music, but with a different set of lyrics, this could have been one of their most highly acclaimed early songs.

[Mike's Beard]

The lyrics are cute for their time but in the real world the Pom Pom Play Girl would be an annoying slut who I'd despise.

[Sunflowerpet]

 
 "If Mars had life on it
   I might find my wife on it"

 Dylan would have been proud to have written this.